Alan Oppenheimer

Mike, Kevin, and Bill were dying to watch a movie about a mopey immortal cursed with loneliness since the women he loves age and die before his eyes. But then they found out there wasn't a new Twilight movie yet, and instead took a big, hearty, Sean Connery-as-a-Spanish-Egyptian-infused hit of Highlander!

When Judy was 8 years old, her life's desire was to have a big house, nice clothes, 2 closets, a live-in maid, and a professional man for a husband. Judy Benjamin (Goldie Hawn), a 28-year-old Hebrew woman from a sheltered wealthy upbringing whose lifelong dream is to "marry a professional man,". Judy marries Yale Goodman (Albert Brooks) in an elaborate ceremony, and it seems that all Judy's dreams are coming true. Judy is a blonde who is more worried about the color of the upholstery, and the matching carpets in her house, than any practical matters. Even her parents do not take her seriously. Judy and Yale have planned to visit Jamaica for their Honeymoon. Judy's new husband dies on their wedding night during sex. Yale was a lawyer and was handling a divorce case even on the evening of the wedding. Judy is 28 years old and even her parents know that she is trained for nothing (Judy used to work as a secretary as her dad's office as only he would give her a job). Judy's mother Harriet asks her to start dating again to find another man to look after her. Her parents are worried that Judy will spend the rest of her life living with them. From the age of 2, she has always had a boyfriend, who looked out for her. She has already been married twice. Judy leaves her parent's house without telling anyone. Judy checks into a motel and ponders what to do if she is not going to be married. Adrift, Judy tells her story on a radio call-in show. On the call, Judy talks to an Army recruiter who says that he knows what Judy needs and asks for a meeting. Judt meets Army recruiter, SFC James Ballard (Harry Dean Stanton) the next day, who leads her to believe military life will provide the "family" she seeks. He pitches the service as a glamorous getaway, comparing it to a spa vacation with Condos and private rooms with yachts. James says that 89,000 women are currently serving in the army and serving their country. The recruiter says that the job pays $458/month, a job of her choice, food, housing, medical and 30 days of paid vacation. James also adds that a woman with Judy's educational background could easily land an assignment in Europe and promises to get her into the best physical shape of her life. Judy decides to sign up for the army. But Judy has a rude awakening upon arriving at basic training at Fort Biloxi. She falls asleep on the bus and is rudely awakened by the drill instructor who makes her do 20 push-ups. She wants to quit almost immediately as she has to sleep in one room with 20 strangers, no drapes, and dirty linen, but is astonished to find out, contrary to the assertions of her recruiting sergeant, that she cannot leave and that she has to serve a full 3 years. Private Wanda Winter (P. J. Soles) is a class favorite and does everything by the book. Private Gianelli (Toni Kalem) is the rebel, her only other choice was to go to jail. Colonel Clay Thornbush (Robert Webber) is the CO of the base. Captain Doreen Lewis gets Judy to clean all the bathrooms, when she complains about unsanitary conditions. She tries to escape at night but gets caught in the barbed wire. Army regulations and the continual disapproval of both Captain Doreen Lewis (Eileen Brennan) and SFC L. C. Ross (Hal Williams), the drill sergeant, frustrate Judy. Her parents Theodore Benjamin (Sam Wanamaker) and Harriet Benjamin (Barbara Barrie) arrive at Fort Biloxi to take her home. They think it is bad for their social status and Theodore says she is incapable of making her own decisions. Benjamin decides to stay and finish basic training, which she does with distinction after a war games exercise in which her squad exposes an affair between a member of her training platoon (Private Einter) and a rival company officer Captain William Woodbridge (Craig T. Nelson) (with whom Lewis was also having an affair) and takes the both of them hostage. Lewis is livid that she was made a fool and orders the entire company to clean up the barracks. In response, Judy gets into Lewis's bathroom and fill her shower head with a blue dye. Lewis attends the graduation ceremony, looking like Smurf. Upon completion of basic training, Judy and her friends spend the weekend on leave in New Orleans, where she meets Henri Tremont (Armand Assante), a French doctor there for a medical conference. After a brief romance, Henri returns to Paris and Judy begins training with an elite paratrooper unit, the Thornbirds. Judy quickly discovers she was chosen for paratrooper training because the unit's commander finds her attractive. After the other trainees have jumped from the plane, he attempts to sexually assault her. When Judy refuses to comply, he attempts to have her transferred far from Biloxi as soon as possible. Rather than accept what she sees as an undesirable post in Greenland or Guam, Judy negotiates (with a threat of reporting sexual assault attempt) an assignment to SHAPE (Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe) in Belgium and meets up with Henri again on a visit to Paris. He proposes marriage and she accepts, but when Captain Lewis, who is also posted to the same base in Belgium, discovers that Henri is a communist, Judy is forced to choose between the Army and love. Benjamin chooses Henri and gets engaged. But then Henri reveals his childish, controlling nature. He tries to "remake" Judy, and also insists she sign a prenuptial agreement (in French) to protect his centuries-old family home. Finally, when Henri sleeps with the house maid and also makes it obvious that he hasn't gotten over his ex-girlfriend Clare, Judy has a change of heart. On her wedding day, in the middle of the ceremony, she realizes she is on the verge of a huge mistake. Judy abandons Henri at the altar and heads off into the unknown, empowered by her newfound freedom and excited about what may lie ahead.

When carefree bachelor David Sloane tries to persuade his best friend Harry Hunter to drop mistress Carol Corman and return to wife Mary, romantic complications suddenly spring to life. Battle-of-the-sexes comedy about a free-wheeling bachelor who decides to save his friend's marriage by proving that all mistresses are incapable of fidelity. The plot gets complicated when the bachelor offers to set up the wrong girl in a lavish love-nest and she accepts, believing that it's a marriage proposal. —alfiehitchie