Amanda Peet

A frustrated writer struggles to keep his family alive when a series of global catastrophes threatens to annihilate mankind. Dr. Adrian Helmsley, part of a worldwide geophysical team investigating the effect on the earth of radiation from unprecedented solar storms, learns that the earth's core is heating up. He warns U.S. President Thomas Wilson that the crust of the earth is becoming unstable and that without proper preparations for saving a fraction of the world's population, the entire race is doomed. Meanwhile, writer Jackson Curtis stumbles on the same information. While the world's leaders race to build "arks" to escape the impending cataclysm, Curtis struggles to find a way to save his family. Meanwhile, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes of unprecedented strength wreak havoc around the world. Only a few years after the American geologist Adrian Helmsley's warnings of an impending global Armageddon by the year 2012, the Earth is devastated from end to end by cataclysmic natural disasters. As the President of the U.S. along with other leaders of the G8 Nations complete their secret project in Tibet to build colossal arks to sustain humanity, at the same time, the struggling Los Angeles author, Jackson Curtis, goes through hell and back to reunite with his ex-wife and their two kids. Inevitably, the unfathomable catastrophes are rapidly escalating, while Jackson strives to give his family a future in Tibet, however, can he make it in time? A middle-aged male who is worried that the world is going to end does everything that he can to save his family from ultimate disasters that are happening all around the world. He discovers that time is running out for everyone and everything if they want to survive. Geophysicist Adrian Helmsley officially visits India's Dr. Satnam Tsurutani, his pretty wife, Aparna, and their son. From thence, he is led to the world's deepest copper mine, where he finds evidence that the Earth's crust is heating up faster than expected. He quickly collects evidence, and presents it before the President of the United States. Expecting the news to hit leading media, he is instead stunned when he learns that the powers-that-be have no intention of publicizing this catastrophe, and are intent on saving wealthy families that can shell out a billion Euros per family on four mammoth arks - without realizing that if the Earth is indeed headed for the prophetic self-destruction on 21 December 2012 - how can arks and it's wealthy inhabitants survive? In 2009, an American geologist named Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) visits astrophysicist Dr. Satnam Tsurutani (Jimi Mistry) in India and learns that neutrinos from a massive solar flare are causing the temperature of the Earth's core to rapidly increase. Adrian and Satnam visit the Naga Deng Copper mine and go 11,000 feet below the ground. Satnam says that the neutrinos from the sun have mutated into a new kind of particle, which is causing a physical reaction. They study a well in the mine that goes down another 6000 feet, and the water inside it is absolutely boiling. Arriving at a party in Washington, D.C., Helmsley presents his information to White House Chief of Staff Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt), who takes him to meet the President. In 2010, U.S. President Thomas Wilson (Danny Glover) and other international leaders from over forty-six nations begin a secret project to ensure humanity's survival. They begin building nine arks in the Himalayas, in Tibet. More than 400,000 people are chosen to board enormous "arks" constructed at Cho Ming, Tibet, in the southwest Chinese Himalayas. A Buddhist monk named Nima (Osric Chau) is evacuated while his brother Tenzin (Chin Han) joins the Ark project. Additional funding is raised by selling tickets for Euro 1 billion per person. By 2011, valuable items are moved to the arks with the help of art expert and First Daughter Dr. Laura Wilson (Thandiwe Newton). In 2012, Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) is a science fiction writer in Los Angeles who works as a limousine driver for Russian billionaire Yuri Karpov (Zlatko Buric). Jackson's former wife Kate (Amanda Peet), and their children Noah (Liam James) and Lilly (Morgan Lily), live with Kate's boyfriend, plastic surgeon Gordon Silberman (Tom McCarthy). Jackson takes Noah and Lilly camping in Yellowstone National Park. When they arrive at the park, they find the park fenced off by the military who arrived. They cross over the fence but are captured by the U.S. Army and taken in to see Helmsley, who recognizes Jackson after he published his recent book, Farewell Atlantis. After they are released from military custody, they meet Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson), who hosts a radio show from the park (also the person who spotted them enter the restricted area). Later that night, after the military evacuates from Yellowstone, Jackson watches Charlie's video of Charles Hapgood's theory that polar shifts and the Mesoamerican Long Count Calendar predict that the 2012 phenomenon will occur. The 2012 phenomenon was a collection of beliefs that the world would end on December 21, 2012. The beliefs were based on the Mayan Long Count calendar, which was used in Central America before Europeans arrived. The calendar's "zero date" was set at 11 August 3114 BC, and the 13th Maya date 13.0.0.0.0, marked the end of the current world. Charlie also tells Jackson that those who discovered this and plotted to inform the public were killed in various accidents. After an earthquake hits Los Angeles, the family returns home. At the Santa Monica Airport, after dropping off Yuri's sons Alec and Oleg, who also warn of impending doom as they board a plane, he rents a Cessna 340A and sets out to rescue his family. He collects his family and Gordon as the Earth crust displacement begins with a magnitude 10.9 earthquake, and they narrowly escape Los Angeles as California collapses into the Pacific Ocean. As millions of people die in earthquakes worldwide, the group flies to Yellowstone to retrieve a map from Charlie (which shows the location of the Arks), escaping as the Yellowstone Caldera erupts. Charlie stays behind to broadcast the eruption and is killed. Learning that the arks are in China, the group lands in Las Vegas to find a larger plane. They find Yuri, his twin sons Alec (Alexandre Haussmann) and Oleg (Philippe Haussmann), girlfriend Tamara (Beatrice Rosen), and pilot Sasha (Johann Urb). Helmsley, Anheuser, and Laura Wilson are aboard Air Force One, where they are heading to the arks. President Wilson remains in Washington, D.C., to address the nation one last time. The planet's crust shifts, resulting in billions of people dead in disasters worldwide, including President Wilson. Helmsley had promised to evacuate Satnam and his wife Aparna (Agam Darshi), but the rescue helicopters never arrived and Satnam perishes with his family. Harry Helmsley (Blu Mankuma) is Adrian's father who works with Tony Delgatto (George Segal), a jazz singer aboard the cruise ship Genesis. Adrian is helpless as a Mega Tsunami flips the cruise ship over, killing everyone on board. With the presidential line of succession gone, following the death of the Vice President and the disappearance of the Speaker of the House, Carl appoints himself acting commander-in-chief even though he is not in the presidential line of succession. Back in Las Vegas, the group steals an Antonov An-500 aircraft, and they depart for China as the Yellowstone ash cloud engulfs the city. President Wilson is later killed by a mega tsunami that sends the aircraft carrier USS John F. Kennedy crashing into the White House. When the group arrives in China, the plane runs out of fuel. As the plane touches down on a glacier, the party uses a Bentley Flying Spur stored in the hold to escape, except Sasha, who stays in the cockpit and is killed when the jet goes over a cliff. They are then spotted by helicopters from the Chinese army. Yuri and his sons, possessing tickets, are taken to the arks, leaving the Curtis family and Gordon behind, along with Tamara, because Yuri knows she had an affair with Sasha. The remaining group is picked up by Nima and taken to the arks with his grandparents. They stow away on Ark 4, where the United States contingent is aboard, with the help of Tenzin. As a mega tsunami approaches the site, an impact driver becomes lodged in the gears of the ark's hydraulic doors, preventing a boarding gate from closing, which in turn prevents the ship from starting its engines. In the ensuing chaos, Yuri, Gordon, and Tamara are killed, and Ark 4 is set adrift. Jackson and Noah dislodge the impact driver, and the crew regains control of the ark before it collides with Mount Everest. Jackson rejoins with his family, and he and Kate reconcile. Twenty-seven days later, the waters are receding. The arks travel to the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa, where the Drakensberg Mountain range has now emerged. Helmsley starts a relationship with Laura while Jackson and Kate rekindle their relationship.

Darren Silverman (Jason Biggs), Wayne LeFessier (Steve Zahn) and J.D. McNugent (Jack Black), best friends since fifth grade and Neil Diamond fans throughout, form a Neil Diamond tribute band called "Diamonds in the Rough". Wayne was born when his mother's water broke at a Neil Diamond concert and ever since he has had a cosmic connection to Neil Diamond. JD is lactose intolerant and not very bright. Darren is a romantic but very gullible around women. Wayne became the third string Quarterback for his high school football team, and JD became the mascot, while Darren joined the cheer-leading squad. Darren develops a crush for Sandy, who was also on the cheer-leading squad. Coach Norton was their idol through High School. As grown-ups, JD works at Subway. Darren is the social director at a retirement home. Wayne started his own business for pest and rodent removal, but he ends up getting assaulted by the animals. Darren is still alone and wants to be in a relationship. The only woman he loved, Sandy, was from a family of circus performers who left town for new opportunities. Sandy didn't even know that Darren had a crush on her as he never asked her out. Darren meets a beautiful but domineering psychologist, Judith Fessbeggler (Amanda Peet), through a chance encounter in a local bar after a band gig. Judith shows signs of being emotionally abusive when she orders a drink for Darren without even asking his preference. Unfortunately, six weeks into their relationship, Judith is still making Darren watch her change clothes. Darren asks her if they could finally have sex, but Judith refuses until marriage. She suggests non-penetrative sex instead and proceeds to push Darren's head between her legs. Darren gets nothing but a sore jaw. Judith says that she cannot return the favor as she has very sensitive gums and instead gives Darren a magazine and a towel to masturbate. Darren takes Judith to meet his friends. Judith is all snobbish and calls the guys obsession with Neil Diamond as a delusion, projection fantasy. Judith tells Darren that the guys are pigs for their disgusting habits and the lack of personal hygiene. JD insists that Judith sits on his Barcalounger, but the reclining mechanism fails, throwing her right across the room. Judith loses her patience when the guys throw beer at each other after their team scores a touchdown in a game on TV. Judith isolates Darren from his friends, demands that Darren quit the band and torched his Neil Diamond albums, receive humiliating medical procedures (like implant for his butt cheeks) and attend relationship counseling under her care. JD and Wayne talk to Darren that Judith is not the right woman for him, but Darren is too far into serving Judith to be able to see the big picture. Wayne and J.D. decide to save Silverman from her by attempting to bribe her with Wayne's house, arm wrestle her, and shock her with faked photographs of Darren cheating, all to no avail (Judith knows that Darren had no tattoos and the body in the photos had a tattoo on the arm). Judith knows that she controls Darren, and he does everything she says. She refuses to let go of him. The friends, undaunted, try to reunite Darren with his "one and only", Sandy Perkus (Amanda Detmer), when she returns to Seattle to take her final vows as a nun. When Darren and Judith announce their engagement (with Darren committing to taking Judith's last name), Wayne and J.D. kidnap Judith. However, she discovers the identity of her captors, and the duo are convinced they cannot let her go. When they visit Coach Norton (R. Lee Ermey) in jail (who accidentally killed a referee with a football signal pole in a fit of rage), his advice is that they should just kill her. The pair attempt to shoot Judith but end up deciding against it. Sandy's feelings for Darren are reawakened, but the pair's attempted date is ruined by Darren's preoccupation with Judith. Sandy, disheartened, returns to the convent, but Darren snaps out of it and runs the 30 miles there to win her back. Chained to an engine block in J.D.'s basement, Judith convinces J.D. he is gay. She knocks him unconscious to steal his keys and escape, only to be tranquilized with a dart gun by Wayne. Returned to the basement, Judith seduces Wayne into releasing one of her hands, so she escapes again. Judith runs to Darren's house in time to see him kiss Sandy but shames him into confessing his engagement to Judith. Sandy, disheartened, returns to the convent again. Darren has Wayne and J.D. arrested. After escaping from jail with the help of Coach Norton, J.D. and Wayne rush to the convent on the brink of Sandy's final vows as a nun. They convince her that Darren still loves her. They then kidnap Neil Diamond to help Darren and Sandy reunite. At the wedding, Neil stalls the proceedings with song while Wayne and Judith beat each other up (as love play), Darren and Sandy reunite, and J.D. arrives holding Coach in his arms, and Coach asks him when will he get married and J.D. says he's gay and then Coach tells hims he's Gay too. On stage at the Neil Diamond concert that night, the priest weds Darren to Sandy, Wayne to Judith, and J.D. to Coach; the entire cast sings "Holly Holy".

Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky (Matthew Perry) is a Quebec dentist from Chicago, trapped in a miserable marriage to the daughter of his late, ex-partner. He can't divorce her because her father embezzled from the dental practice, and it would leave him with nothing but debt. As the movie opens, Oz comes down to the kitchen, where his wife, Sophie, and her mother are having breakfast. Sophie tells Oz she needs $5000, but won't say what for. He leaves for work, taking some frustration out on the steering wheel on the way. At the office, we are introduced to his assistant, Jill (Amanda Peet). Jill and Oz have lunch and she tells him that his wife isn't a good person. They joke about having her taken out of the picture, and Jill tells him to name a price. When Oz gets home, a new neighbor is moving in next door. Oz thinks that "Jimmy Jones" looks familiar, and after recognizing a tatoo on Jimmy's forearm, realizes that he's Jimmy "the Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis). Tudeski is an infamous contract killer from Chicago who has been given amnesty after ratting out Lazlo Gogolak and other members of the Gogolak gang. After an uncomfortable encounter, Oz runs home in a panic and tells Sophie they're moving. But Sophie insists that Oz return to Chicago to collect a finder's fee by giving up Jimmy's wherabouts to Lazlo's son, Janni (Kevin Pollak). Upon arriving in Chicago, Oz has lunch with an old friend and confesses that he has no intention of meeting with Janni. Unfortunately, when Oz returns to his hotel room, he is greeted by Frankie Figs (Michael Clarke Duncan) who turns out to be one of Janni's enforcers. Frankie roughs Oz up to get the truth out of him and then takes him to Janni. At Janni's estate, Oz meets Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge), Jimmy's estranged wife. Janni instructs Frankie to accompany Oz back to Canada and keep an eye on Jimmy until Janni and his men arrive to take him out. Back at the hotel, Oz is freaking out when there's a knock at the door. It's Cynthia. She asks if Oz really knows where to find Jimmy, explaining that Janni and Jimmy both want her (as well as each other) dead in order to collect on $10 million dollars being held in trust in their names. Oz woos Cynthia and the two share a bottle of scotch and end up sleeping together. Then Oz vows to find a way to protect Cynthia from Jimmy. Back in Canada, Frankie and a very nervous Oz enter another hotel room and see Jimmy waiting inside. It turns out that Frankie and Jimmy are old friends and together, are planning to take out Janni and his men (and Cynthia) when they come to do the hit on him. Oz returns to work and tells Jill about the events in Chicago. Jill is extremely excited when she finds out Jimmy the Tulip is Oz's neighbor and makes Oz take her to meet him. Jill tells Jimmy that he's her hero and the reason she wants to be a contract killer. We find out that Sophie tried to use the $5000 to have Jill kill Oz, but Jill ended up liking Oz after getting to know him and refused the contract. As Jimmy and Jill discuss the upcoming ambush, Oz gets angry and says that he won't stand by and let them kill Cynthia. Meanwhile, Sophie is in bed (literally) with a new hitter she has secured with her $5000. Oz is back at home and tries to call and warn Cynthia about Jimmy's plan, but she is already on the way with Janni. When they arrive at Oz's house, Oz gets a chance to warn Cynthia, while she warns him that Janni will kill him after killing Jimmy. The two watch from Oz's garage as Janni's gang walks into the trap. Down the street, Sophie and her hitter are in his car. She is discussing the payment and promises that her mother will pay the remainder of his fee after the job is done. The hitter (played by Harland Williams) is distracted when he recognizes Janni Gogolak heading toward Jimmy's house. When Sophie tells him whose house it is, he realizes what's about to happen, pulls out a gun and exits the car, leaving Sophie bewildered. When Janni enters the house, he is distracted by a naked Jill, and she, Jimmy and Frankie are easily able to kill Janni and his men. Sophie's hitter is in the yard when he hears Oz's car peel out behind him. Oz and Cynthia are making a break for it. This draws Jimmy's attention to the window. He has Jill get the mystery hitter's attention and then shoots him. Sophie sees this and runs, screaming, down the street. When they get the body inside, they realize he is an undercover cop. As they start to get a plan together to dispose of the bodies, Oz calls. While they are on the phone, Jill reveals that Oz slept with Cynthia in Chicago -- which she thinks is great -- but it infuriates Jimmy. Oz makes a deal with them that will benefit everyone. He will alter the cop's teeth to exactly match Jimmy's. They then put the cop's body and Janni's into Oz's car and set it on fire, rendering the bodies unidentifiable, except by dental records. Jimmy is still really mad, but luckily, the plan works. The investigators think that Janni and Jimmy are both dead. This allows Cynthia to collect the $10 million, which as a part of the deal, she has agreed to transfer to Jimmy in exchange for her and Oz's lives. The investigators also find the undercover cop's car when they go to check out Jimmy's house. Inside the car is a tape recorder, the contents of which are more than enough to put Sophie and her mother in prison. The next day, the key players meet up in the city. While Cynthia and Jill go to the bank to transfer the money, Oz heads to an art museum with Jimmy, where they will be around people and Oz thinks he'll be safe. Jimmy has other plans though and takes Oz (along with Frankie Figs) out on a private yacht. Back at the bank, Jill asks Cynthia if she's tempted to take the money and run. Cynthia decides that she loves Oz and can't leave him to be killed by Jimmy. Jill tells Cynthia that Jimmy wants her and Oz to have $1 million as a wedding gift, and the two women make the transfers. On the boat, Jimmy gets the call that the money has been received. He pulls out a gun and points it at Oz. Frankie grins knowingly before Jimmy turns and shoots him instead. Oz is floored, but happy to be alive. He tells Jimmy that it's obvious he's in love with "her." Jimmy acts confused, thinking Oz is referring to Cynthia. In the next shot, Jill runs on the boat and jumps into Jimmy's arms. Oz leaves to meet Cynthia. As soon as he sees her, he asks her to marry him. She looks disappointed and asks if Jimmy told him (about the money.) Oz doesn't know what she's talking about, and so she happily agrees to marry him. In the closing scene, the two newlyweds are on a hotel balcony overlooking Niagara falls, dancing to a bluesy version of Ira Gershwin's "They All Laughed" as the credits roll.