Art Carney

A young movie fan gets thrown into the movie world of his favorite action film star.

A patient of Chicago psychoanalyst Dr. Judd Stevens (Roger Moore) is murdered after a session, stabbed while wearing a raincoat belonging to the doctor. Police detectives McGreavy (Rod Steiger) and Angeli (Elliott Gould) investigate. McGreavy bitterly resents the doctor from a previous case in which Stevens' testimony led to a cop killer being institutionalized rather than sent to prison. The patient's personal problems are in question until Stevens' secretary is also found brutally murdered. Stevens realizes he is the murderer's target, while the detectives treat him as their prime suspect. A widower, Stevens expresses concern to his physician brother-in-law about the cops' behavior. McGreavy in particular is so aggressive in his interrogations, Angeli reports him to a superior and gets McGreavy thrown off the case. Posing as doormen, two armed gunmen break into Stevens' apartment. He holds them off until the brother-in-law and two paramedics arrive. Not trusting the cops, Stevens instead made an emergency call to the hospital for help. Choosing a name out of the Yellow Pages at random, Stevens hires an old, quirky private investigator named Morgens (Art Carney) who lives in a rundown apartment filled with clocks and cats. Morgens saves his life by finding a bomb planted in Stevens' car. After he reports this latest attempt on his life, Angeli promises to lend Stevens a more sympathetic ear than his partner had. McGreavy, however, has secretly cut a deal with their captain to keep an eye on the case from a distance. One evening, Morgens claims to know the killer's true identity, but refuses to reveal it over the phone because he claims nobody can be trusted, not even the police. He tells Stevens to meet him after midnight at Navy Pier and mentions the name "Don Cicini." But when Stevens and Angeli arrive, they find the murdered body of Morgens, holding a cuckoo clock. After doing some research by looking up the name and visiting a prison to inquire about the name, Stevens believes that Don Cicini is an Italian code name for the head of an organized crime syndicate. Offering to hide Stevens in a safe house, Angeli instead drives him to a countryside mansion where the phony doormen appear. Angeli draws a gun but points it at Stevens, telling him he trusted the wrong cop. Stevens is taken to a crime boss, discovering that the mobster's wife is Ann Blake (Anne Archer), a quiet woman who has been seeing Stevens as a patient. Don Cicini feels he simply can't have anyone knowing his private business, despite the fact that Ann told the psychiatrist practically nothing during their sessions. Stevens is taken to a warehouse to be done away with permanently. Angeli, expecting a payoff, is killed instead. Stevens tries to escape but is re-captured, then beaten savagely by the crime boss until McGreavy and a team of cops arrive just in time, having been called by Ann. Her husband is killed and the rest of his men are arrested. In the final scene, at a cemetery where Stevens goes to visit his late wife's grave once a week, Ann Blake turns up to apologize for causing Stevens all this trouble at the cost of so many lives. He has quit his private practice, so she asks if that means he can see a former patient socially. It does and they begin to leave the cemetery together, but the doctor is in for one last shock: Ann is shot and killed by an unseen mob sniper, leaving a grieving Stevens wailing over her dead body.

Joe (George Burns), Al (Art Carney), and Willie (Lee Strasberg) are three senior citizens who share a small apartment in Astoria, Queens, New York City. They are three retirees who live off monthly social security checks and spend their summer days sitting on a bench in a nearby park, reading newspapers, feeding pigeons, and fending off obnoxious children. It is a dull life, and finally Joe is driven to suggest something radical to break the monotony. After making their monthly visit to their bank to cash and/or deposit their social security checks, out of the blue Joe asks them: "why not go on a stick-up?" Bored by their daily routine, Joe argues that the crime is not as risky as they may think. In the unlikely event that they are arrested, room and board will be free in prison and their social security checks will accumulate until they are released; and if they succeed, they will have extra cash to enjoy, instead of sitting on a park bench all day. Al likes the idea, but Willie is more skeptical. As they discuss details, Al offers to investigate the gun collection of his nephew, Pete, while Joe proposes that they scout a bank to rob in New York City. Al surreptitiously borrows some pistols from the collection of his nephew, Pete (Charles Hallahan) who lives just a few miles away with his wife and three obnoxious children, and whom are having money problems themselves. Pete tells Al that he wants to open up his own furniture store, but the stress of paying for their mortgage as well as utility bills is getting to all of them. Al decides to himself that the bank robbery will help his nephew out financially. The next day, the three men take the subway into the city and, without much deliberation, decide to hold up the Union Marine Bank at 36th Street and Broadway. As they indulge in hot dogs from a street vendor and participate in a sidewalk drum performance, the men are rejuvenated by the scheme. Al is confident that he can obtain the guns that afternoon, so the ringleader, Joe, suggests robbing the bank the next day. While Joe and Willie purchase three pairs of Groucho Marx-style glasses as disguises, Al stops by Pete's house. As soon as his nephew leaves for work, Al sneaks into the basement and takes three pistols from the gun case, as well as an assortment of bullets. The next morning, after finally determining which bullets fit the pistols, the threesome take a bus to another neighborhood in Queens to conceal their point of origin. From there, they hail an unlicensed cab, which does not keep records of fares. For $30, the driver agrees to take them into Manhattan and to wait outside the bank while they "sign a will." Upon entering the bank in disguise, Al detains the security guard at gunpoint, as Joe orders the teller to hand over the money. When the bank manager does not take the elderly men seriously, Joe fires a bullet at the wall, causing everyone to take cover on the floor. After filling their satchel with cash, the friends dash back to the waiting cab, ask the driver to drop them at a subway station and return to Queens on the train. When they count the money at home, the total amounts to just over $35,000, and Al suggest they hide the loot in his old suitcase, stored at Pete's house. Later, as the three men sit on their regular park bench and overhear a report on the radio about the crime, Willie suffers a heart attack and dies. Sparing no expense, Joe makes funeral arrangements. During the memorial service, Joe and Al decide to give $25,000 of the heist money to Pete, who tirelessly works two jobs to support his family. Pete is speechless as Joe explains that he and Al inherited a $25,000 life insurance policy from Willie, but they have no need for the money. In exchange for the gift, Joe suggests that Pete give them $20 per week to supplement their fixed income. After the funeral, the two friends decide to spend some of their money on a spontaneous vacation to Las Vegas, Nevada. Without making reservations, they take a cab to Kennedy Airport, buy a ticket, and board their first plane flight. At a casino hotel that evening, they try their luck at the craps table. Al is not familiar with the game, but Joe instructs him to simply roll the dice while he places bets. To their surprise, they accumulate $73,000 in winnings by the end of the evening. However, Joe realizes that their gambling luck will make them a target for thieves, as well as more conspicuous to authorities, so he suggests they collect the cash and fly back to New York that night. Arriving at their apartment exhausted from the whirlwind excursion, they immediately fall asleep. When Joe wakes, he hears a report on the radio that the police anticipate a development in the "amateur" bank robbery case. Joe tries to wake Al with the news, but is distressed to find that his friend has passed away. A few hours later that evening, Joe arrives at Pete's house, carrying the bag of money, and takes Pete aside to divulge the bank robbery, the Vegas winnings and his uncle's death. He adds that the police appear to be closing in and asks Pete to help hide the approximately $107,000 in a safety deposit box. Tearful over his uncle's death, Pete agrees and promises not to inform the authorities. The next day, Joe shaves and dresses for Al's funeral, but as he leaves the apartment, two FBI agents handcuff him and take him away. During questioning, Joe refuses to reveal the location of the money. Sometime later, Pete visits Joe at the state prison and reminds him that if he does not give back the robbery cash, he will receive a harsher sentence. Joe says he does not mind, adding that Al and Willie would not want him to return the loot. Joe explains that it no longer matters to him if he remains in prison for the rest of his life. For several years, Joe already felt like he was in prison with living a dull life. Joe explains that he no longer has to cook and clean for himself in prison. He gets three square meals a day, and generally is getting "treated like a king around here." Joe tells Pete not to visit him again to avoid being suspected in his bank robbery plan, and to "enjoy his inheritance" of living off the bank robbery and Vegas money. In the final shot, as Joe is being escorted back to his cell by a guard, he looks mischievously at Pete and says with a wiry smile: "besides... no tin-horn joint like this could ever hold me!"

In a post-apocalyptic world divided between two groups called the Flockers and the Ravagers, an adventurer and his "pleasure girl" try to find their way to a rumored safe haven called the Land of Genesis.

A grumpy semi-retired private investigator partners with a quirky female client to catch the people who murdered his partner. Ira Wells is an aged retired Los Angeles, California based private investigator who comes out of retirement when his former partner, Harry Regan, shows up on his doorstep with a bullet wound to the gut and dies. Ira determines to find out who killed Harry and is then contacted by another long-time acquaintance, Charlie Hatter (a down-on-his luck Hollywood hack/bartender) about Harry's last case. Harry's client was Margo Sterling, a former client of Charlie's who is a flaky, penniless new-age actress, agent, and dress maker. She hired Harry to retrieve her missing cat, Winston, who is being held ransom by an acquaintance named Brian Hemphill who stole Winston because Margo was late on paying back a loan. Amidst all this, Ira has to figure out what would be the reason for someone to kill Harry. —Huggo / Hans Delbruck