Brian Blessed

In The Pirates! Band of Misfits, Hugh Grant stars in his first animated role as the luxuriantly bearded Pirate Captain - a boundlessly enthusiastic, if somewhat less-than-successful, terror of the High Seas. With a rag-tag crew at his side (Martin Freeman, Brendan Gleeson, Russell Tovey, and Ashley Jensen), and seemingly blind to the impossible odds stacked against him, the Captain has one dream: to beat his bitter rivals Black Bellamy (Jeremy Piven) and Cutlass Liz (Salma Hayek) to the much coveted Pirate Of The Year Award. It`s a quest that takes our heroes from the shores of exotic Blood Island to the foggy streets of Victorian London. Along the way they battle a diabolical queen (Imelda Staunton) and team up with a haplessly smitten young scientist (David Tennant), but never lose sight of what a pirate loves best: adventure!

Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, returns home to find his father murdered and his mother remarrying the murderer, his uncle. Meanwhile, war is brewing. Hamlet (Sir Kenneth Branagh), son of the King of Denmark (Brian Blessed), is summoned home for his father's funeral and his mother Gertrude's (Julie Christie's) wedding to his uncle Claudius (Sir Derek Jacobi). In a supernatural episode, he discovers that his uncle, who he hates anyway, murdered his father. In an incredibly convoluted plot, the most complicated and most interesting in all literature, he manages to (impossible to put this in exact order) feign (or perhaps not to feign) madness, murder the "Prime Minister", love and then unlove an innocent who he drives to madness, plot and then unplot against the uncle, direct a play within a play, successfully conspire against the lives of two well-meaning friends, and finally take his revenge on the uncle, but only at the cost of almost every life on-stage, including his own and his mother's. —John Brosseau <brossj5683@aol.com>

Don Pedro, prince of Medina (Denzel Washington), his resentful brother Don John (Keanu Reeves), and his noblemen Claudio (Robert Sean Leonard) and Benedick (screenwriter/director Kenneth Branagh) return from war, ready for merriment and love. Claudio loves Hero (Kate Beckinsale), the young daughter of the nobleman Leonato (Richard Briers), but Benedick hates Beatrice (Emma Thompson), Leonato's beautiful, witty, but sharp-tongued niece, who hates him back. Claudio and Hero are soon engaged; as they prepare for their wedding, they decide, with the help of Don Pedro, to trick Benedick and Beatrice into confessing their true love for each other. The plan works without a hitch, but trouble comes in the form of Don John, who is jealous of his brother's power and of his affection for Claudio. Don John devises a scheme where one of his lieutenants will make love to Hero's maid Margaret (Imelda Staunton) at Hero's window the night before the wedding--and call her Hero. Don John takes Don Pedro and Claudio to Leonato's house, where they see the encounter and are convinced the woman is Hero. The next day Claudio disgraces Hero publicly at the wedding and refuses to marry her. She faints and Leonato is persuaded to pretend that she is dead until the situation is sorted out. The foolish warden Dogberry (Michael Keaton) manages to arrest Don John's lieutenants and they confess to the plot. Claudio is crushed when he learns that he killed Hero with his false accusations. He begs Leonato to punish him and Leonato tells him his punishment is to marry his (other) niece, who closely resembles Hero. Claudio agrees but first spends a night mourning for Hero and proclaiming her innocence. Don John escapes Medina. The next morning Claudio marries the supposed niece, who removes her veil to reveal that she is Hero. They are very happy but Benedick and Beatrice almost break up when they discover they were tricked into admitting their love. In the end, Don John is arrested and brought back to face punishment, Benedick and Beatrice marry, and all dance around Leonato's garden singing "Noddy noddy."

Robin Hood decides to fight back as an outlaw when faced with the tyranny of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Nobleman crusader Robin of Locksley breaks out of a Jerusalem prison with the help of Moorish fellow prisoner Azeem and travels back home to England. But upon arrival he discovers his dead father in the ruins of his family estate, killed by the vicious sheriff of Nottingham, Robin and Azeem join forces with outlaws Little John and Will Scarlett to save the kingdom from the sheriff's villainy. —Nick Maston After being captured by Turks during the Crusades, Robin of Locksley and a Moor, Azeem, escape back to England, where Azeem vows to remain until he repays Robin for saving his life. Meanwhile, Robin's father, a nobleman loyal to King Richard the Lionheart, has been murdered by the brutal Sheriff of Nottingham, who helped install Richard's treacherous brother, Prince John, as King while Richard is overseas fighting the Crusades. When Robin returns home, he vows to avenge his father's death and restore Richard to the throne. Even though Maid Marian, his childhood friend, cannot help him, he escapes to the Forest of Sherwood where he joins a band of exiled villagers and becomes their leader. With their help, he attempts to cleanse the land of the evil that the Sheriff has spread. —Graeme Roy <gsr@cbmamiga.demon.co.uk> After escaping from a dungeon after being captured by the Turks during the crusades, Robin, son of Lord Locksley, and a warrior Moor named Azeem return to England only to find Robin's father has been murdered by the corrupt Sheriff of Nottingham and has taken over his father's lands. Unable to be helped by maid Marian Dubois, sister of Robin's friend Peter, who died trying to help Robin and Azeem escape. Robin vows to avenge his father and flees to the Forest of Sherwood, home to a band of outlaws who have been banished from their villages by the Sheriff of Nottingham. Combining the forces of the outlaws, Robin and his men set out on a crusade against the Sheriff of Nottingham and defeat the Sheriff and his henchmen, who bids to take over the throne of England's rightful ruler King Richard and put a end to the corruption that has infested the English countryside. —Daniel Williamson

The story opens with Emperor Ming the Merciless (Max von Sydow) declaring that he will first play with, and then destroy, the Earth, using seemingly natural disasters which include earthquakes, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, tornadoes, and something called "hot hail". Sometime later on Earth, New York Jets football star "Flash" Gordon (Sam J. Jones) boards a small plane. Onboard, he meets travel journalist Dale Arden (Melody Anderson). Mid-flight, the cockpit is hit by a meteorite sent by Ming and the pilots are sucked out. Flash takes control, and manages to crash land the craft in a greenhouse owned by Dr. Hans Zarkov (Topol). Zarkov, who believes the disasters are being caused by an unknown source in space which is sending the moon toward the Earth, has secretly constructed a rocket ship with which he intends to investigate. Zarkov's assistant refuses to help him, so he lures Flash and Dale inside the rocket. After a struggle, the rocket launches into orbit, taking the trio through a vortex to the planet Mongo. There, they are taken prisoner. Flash, Dale and Zarkov are brought to the palace before Ming. Ming orders Dale to be prepared for his pleasure. Flash attempts to resist but is overpowered by Ming's bodyguards. Ming orders Zarkov to be reconditioned and Flash executed by lethal gas. Ming's daughter, Princess Aura (Ornella Muti), manipulates Ming's Chief Surgeon into helping her save Flash, to whom she is attracted, by having him injected with an immunity serum helps him escape from the palace. Zarkov is seemingly brainwashed by Klytus (Peter Wyngarde), the golden-masked de facto regent of Mongo and Ming's right hand man. Meanwhile, Aura and Flash flee in a shuttle to Arboria, the kingdom of Prince Barin (Timothy Dalton), Aura's lover. En route to Arboria, Aura reluctantly teaches Flash to use a telepathic communicator to contact Dale. He uses it let her know he is still alive. Dale informs Flash that she is locked in Ming's bedchamber. Encouraged by Flash, Dale escapes. Klytus dispatches Zarkov to intercept Dale, who informs Zarkov and a listening Klytus that Flash is alive. The two then escape, as Zarkov reveals he was able to resist the brainwashing process. But after fleeing the city, Dale and Zarkov are captured by Prince Vultan's (Brian Blessed) Hawkmen and taken to his kingdom, Sky City. Aura and Flash arrive at the forest moon Arboria. Aura asks Prince Barin to keep Flash safe. A distrustful Barin, who is in love with Aura, agrees not to kill Flash, but then contrives to force him to take part in a deadly ritual. Barin and Flash take turns sticking their hands into a hollow stump with a poisonous creature inside. When Barin compels Flash to take an extra turn, he pretends to be stung by the creature and begs for a quick death, using this as an opportunity to escape. Barin follows, but they are both captured by Prince Vultan's Hawkmen. Back in Mingo City, Klytus informs Ming that Flash is alive and gains Ming's authority to discover the person responsible. Aura returns alone to Mingo City only to be taken prisoner and tortured by Klytus and General Kala (Mariangela Melato), the head of Ming's secret police. They force Aura to confess to helping Flash escape, and Ming orders her to be banished to the ice moon Frigia after his wedding. Meanwhile, Flash and Barin are taken to Sky City, where Flash and Dale are briefly reunited. Flash is forced to fight Barin to the death, but Barin joins forces with Flash when he saves his life. Klytus arrives and threatens Vultan as well as everyone else for their insolence. Flash and Barin double-team up to overpower Klytus and kill him. Knowing that this will bring retribution on the Hawkmen, Vultan orders them to evacuate Sky City, leaving Barin, Flash, Dale and Zarkov behind. Ming's ship arrives shortly afterwards and he orders Barin, Zarkov and Dale to be taken aboard. Ming finds himself impressed with Flash, and offers him lordship over a subjugated Earth in exchange for fealty, as an alternative to death, which Flash refuses. Ming returns to his ship and gives the order to destroy Vultan's kingdom with Flash still on it. Flash cheats death by finding a rocket cycle in the city and escaping before Sky City is destroyed. Flash contacts Vultan, whose people have found refuge on Arboria, and they plot an attack on Mingo City. Flash pretends to attack Mingo City alone on his rocket cycle. General Kala dispatches the war rocket Ajax to bring back Flash's body, but the Hawkmen army intercepts and Flash and the Hawkmen seize control of the rocket after a fierce battle. In Mingo City, Princess Aura overpowers her guard and frees Barin and Zarkov from the execution chamber. Flash and the Hawkmen attack Mingo City in Ajax and Kala activates the city's defenses, as Ming and Dale's wedding starts. Mingo City's lightning field shield protecting the city can only be penetrated in time to save Earth by flying Ajax in to it in a suicide run. Flash volunteers to stay at the helm to ensure it is successful and allow the Hawkmen to invade the city. Just before the rocket hits, Barin manages to kill Kala then then sabotage the lightning field generators and Ajax plummets into the city's great hall where the wedding is taking place; the ship's bow impales Ming. Ming falls off the rocket nose, seriously wounded, and Flash offers to spare his life if he will stop the attack on Earth, but Ming refuses to submit. Ming attempts to use his power ring on Flash but his power falters and nothing happens. He then aims the ring at himself and is seemingly vaporized by its remaining power seconds before the counter to the destruction of the Earth reaches zero. A huge victory celebration ensues with planet Earth apparently saved and Barin is proclaimed the new ruler of Mongo. Vultan is named general of all of Mongo's armies including the Hawkmen. Thus Mongo's population can live in peace. Aura chooses to marry Barin and stand alongside him. Flash, Dale and Zarkov are asked to stay on Mongo for the time being since the vortex to Earth has been severed with Ming's demise. They all agree to stay, while Zarkov will plan on a way to get the three of them back to Earth somehow. The final shot focuses on Ming's empty power ring, as an unidentified individual picks it up. The words "The End?" fade onto the screen, followed by an echo of Ming's evil laughter.