Brian O'Halloran

In 1890s Oklahoma, a pair of fugitive lovers face a perilous journey home. With lawmen and bounty hunters hot on their heels, George and Rose must outwit their pursuers and navigate treacherous terrain to reach safety in Ingalls.

A decade after the events of Clerks, thirty two-year-old Dante Hicks (Brian OHalloran) is still a disgruntled employee at the Quick Stop convenience store. He arrives for another day of work, only to discover, when he opens the security shutters, that the store is on fire. Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson), Dante's long-time best friend and Quick Stop colleague, had left the coffee pot on the night before. As a result of the Quick Stop's destruction, the two men begin working at a Mooby's fast food restaurant. After working at Mooby's for nearly a year, Dante is planning to move from New Jersey to Florida with his blonde, bony and wealthy fiancée, Emma (Jennifer Schwalbach Smith). Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith) have followed Dante and Randal throughout their adventures, and now loiter outside of Mooby's. Though they no longer use drugs (after being arrested, sent to rehab, and supposedly becoming born-again Christians), they continue to sell them and perform their typical antics in the parking lot. It is Dante's last day before moving, which inspires Randal to give him a "memorable sendoff" and secretly book a donkey show to perform in the restaurant after closing time. Randal takes great satisfaction in manipulating and shocking his 19-year-old co-worker, Elias (Trevor Fehrman), a hopelessly geeky conservative Christian and obsessive fan of Transformers and the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Randal holds nothing but contempt for both franchises ("There's only one Return, and it ain't of the King; it's of the Jedi"), and taunts a customer who shares Elias' manic admiration of the LOTR series until said customer vomits in disgust. Dante, meanwhile, has become good friends with their manager, Becky Scott (Rosario Dawson), and the two had a drunken one-night stand several weeks before. Becky is aware that Dante is engaged and moving away and is visibly rattled by it, though she treats the subject casually in conversation. While working the counter, Dante and Randal are forced to wait on a former high school rival, Lance Dowds (Jason Lee), now a millionaire from launching a successful website. While Randal recounts Lance's humiliating initiation experience in freshman year which resulted in Lance being nicknamed "Pickle-fucker," he is still angered by Lance's condescending remarks towards him and Dante. After Lance leaves, Randal convinces Dante to blow off work with him and go ride the go-karts at a local fun center (which Randal claims clears his head). Upon their return, they find the restaurant understaffed and full of customers. While preparing food, Randal launches into a rant and angers two African-American customers (Wanda Sykes and Earthquake) when he incorporates the slur "porch monkey" into his speech. Randal initially refuses to believe it is a racial slur, as he did not know its real definition, and because his grandmother had used it as a "term of endearment" for him during his childhood (he initially did not consider his grandmother to be a racist, though he remembers her referring to a broken beer bottle as a "nigger knife"). Randal vows to reclaim the phrase and give it a more positive meaning. While Randal manages to hire "Kinky Kelly and the Sexy Stud" to perform the donkey show for Dante that night, Dante becomes torn between his mainstream fiancée, Emma, whom he cares for but has little in common with, and his increasing feelings for Becky. When asked by Becky if he has any fear of marriage, he admits he is scared of his wedding reception because he cannot dance. Becky enthusiastically takes him to the roof and gives him a dance lesson (as The Jackson 5's "ABC" blasts from Jay and Silent Bob's boom box, causing everyone in the restaurant and parking lot to dance as well). Overwhelmed, Dante confesses his love to Becky and is stunned when she reveals that she is pregnant as a result of their one-night stand. A shocked Dante reveals to Randal that Becky is pregnant with his child, and that she does not want an abortion. Randal is taken aback, but swears not to tell anyone, as Becky had already sworn Dante to secrecy. However, Randal ruins this moments later by congratulating Becky on her pregnancy ('May your first child be a masculine child!"). Becky is furious at Dante for blabbing the secret and lividly drives off. Dante erupts in rage and attempts to punch Randal, who panics inwardly when he sees the Kinky Kelly van enter the parking lot. Randal frantically escorts Dante to his car, telling him to follow Becky and talk to her for an hour. Once Dante leaves, Randal speaks with the gruff-looking driver of the Kinky Kelly van (Zak Knutson), and gives him an hour to set up the show equipment in the restaurant. Meanwhile, Becky and Dante drive around separately, thinking over their situation. Becky pauses in front of a women's care clinic, while Dante is waved at by a little girl (Harley Quinn Smith) through a restaurant window, leading him to contemplate fatherhood. Dante arrives back at Mooby's, which is emitting smoke from its windows. Dante panics and calls the fire department, only to realize the smoke is from a smoke machine being used for the donkey show. Though shocked by Randal's choice of a farewell gift, Dante is drawn into the show's audience (Randal, Jay, Silent Bob, and a very drunk/stoned Elias). As the show begins, their hopes of seeing an attractive woman slowly disappear. Kinky Kelly, who was assumed to be the female exotic dancer, is actually the name of the donkey, while the Sexy Stud is in fact the burly, tattooed man who had driven the trailer. As the Stud prepares to perform an array of explicit acts on Kelly, Becky returns to the restaurant. Dante again confesses his love for her, and she eventually admits that she cares for him too. Dante's fiancée, Emma, comes to Mooby's to surprise Dante, only to see him kissing Becky. She angrily throws her engagement ring at Becky and leaves in tears. The fire department arrives, responding to Dante's earlier call. With the donkey show in full swing, most of the attendants drunk, and Randal having spelled out "PORCH MONKEY 4 LIFE" on the back of his shirt with masking tape, everyone but Becky is arrested. In their jail cell, Dante gets into a heated argument with Randal, blaming him for ruining his life. Randal becomes indignant and reveals how upset he was about having his best friend move away. They finally admit how much they care about their friendship, and Randal suggests they get back their good old days at the Quick Stop by re-opening it themselves. Jay and Silent Bob agree to lend them money for the endeavor, on the condition that they can hang out in front of the store whenever they want. They are released from jail shortly after, since (as the Sexy Stud had assured them) you cannot be imprisoned for watching an inter-species sex act. Dante finally decides to start a family life with Becky and proposes to her at the Mooby's drive-thru window. She, Dante, and Randal work on fixing up the charred Quick Stop, and hire Elias to work Randal's old job at the adjacent RC Video store. The film ends with a content Dante and Randal working the counter at the rehabilitated Quick Stop convenience, happy to be in control of their lives at last.

Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) and Banky Edwards (Jason Lee) are comic book artists and lifelong friends. Holden is the calmer, more reasonable of the duo; Banky, meanwhile, is the caustic and short-tempered half. The story opens at a comic book convention in New York City where the two are promoting their latest comic series 'Bluntman and Chronic'. After Holden breaks up a fight between Banky and an antagonistic fan, they attend a panel discussion where they meet Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams). She is a struggling comic book writer whom is friends with the African-American comic book writer and activist Hooper (Dwight Ewell) who puts on this militant image to hide his flamboyantly gay personality. That evening, the four go out for drinks together at a local bar where Holden is attracted to Alyssa based on their conversation during a dart game. Through Hooper she invites Holden to a get together at a bar she frequents. Banks comes along and while there Alyssa is asked to sing a song. During the song Banky notices that they are in a female gay bar and that Alyssa is singing the love song to a woman in the audience and not to Holden who thinks the song is for him. The four of them end up at a booth and Alyssa and Banky have an involved conversation about sex with women while Holden broods, visibly upset about Alyssa being a lesbian. However, they have discovered they are both from the same area of New Jersey and the two begin hanging out, and a deep friendship develops. During their discussions it is clear that Holden has a very narrow heterosexual view on male female relationships and sex in general. The new friendship does not sit well with the homophobic Banky, who dislikes and distrusts Alyssa and is bothered by the relationship that develops between her and Holden. Holden and Banky's business relationship suffers as well -- the two had been on the verge of signing a lucrative deal to turn Bluntman and Chronic into television show and Banky feels that Holden is no longer taking their combined efforts or the TV show seriously. Eventually, Holden is no longer able to contain his feelings, and confesses his love to Alyssa. She is initially angry with him and walks away. Holden follows her and they have a heated discussion about their relationship and she walks away again. Holden is confused and while returning to his vehicle Alyssa runs up, they embrace and that night the two begin a romantic relationship. Banky walks in the next morning and finds them together sleeping on his couch in the studio. This new development worsens the tension between Holden and Banky who distrusts Alyssa and that his friend is going to be hurt when the relationship fails. Banky runs across an old friend who grew up with Alyssa who tells him a sexual adventure story from Alyssa's past. Banky reports to Holden that Alyssa participated in a threesome with two guys during high school, which earned her the nickname "Finger Cuffs" for getting it from both ends. Holden is deeply disturbed by this revelation, having believed based on their conversations about love and sex that he is the first man Alyssa had ever slept with. Holden asks advice from Hooper who tells him that if he wants his relationship with Alyssa to work, he must be honest and truthful and ask Alyssa about her past. Hooper also tells Holden he believes the issue with Banky is that Banky is jealous and in love with him and that his macho sexual banter is a disguise for his true feelings. The following evening, Holden confronts Alyssa while attending a hockey game and he clumsily attempts baiting her into confessing, which she eventually does, prompting her to storm out of the arena. During a tearful argument in the parking lot, she tells Holden about her youthful sexual experimentation involving men. She apologizes for letting him believe that he was the only man she had been with but justifies it by saying she could see that he took pleasure in the thought. However, she refuses to apologize for her past and Holden leaves feeling angry and confused. Later, during lunch at a local diner with the local stoners and drug dealers Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith), who were the inspiration for the Bluntman and Chronic comic book characters, Holden gives them their monthly residual pay for sales of the comic book. Here he confides in them about his troubled feelings and relationship with Alyssa. Speaking more than one line for the first time, Silent Bob mentions chasing Amy and reveals that he was once in a relationship "a couple of years ago" which was similar to Holden's. Despite the fact that he was in love with his girlfriend, Amy, his insecurities about her adventurous sexual past caused him to sabotage the relationship and leave her. Angry at himself for letting her go, he has "spent every day since then chasing Amy". Inspired by Silent Bob's story, Holden devises a plan to fix both his relationship with Alyssa and his fractured friendship with Banky. He invites them both over and tells Alyssa that he would like to get over her past and remain her boyfriend. He also tells Banky that he realizes that Banky is in love with him... kissing him passionately to prove the point. Holden suggests that the three of them should have sex with each other in a threesome so he will no longer be envious of Alyssa's broader experiences and it will resolve Banky's issues with them as a couple. Banky reluctantly agrees to participate. Alyssa is appalled and refuses, at which Banky expresses his relief. Alyssa tries to explain to Holden why his plan is so wrong. Before leaving, she states that she will always love him but her past is in the past and she will not be his whore and slaps him across his face. Banky then leaves without saying a word. One year later, the story has Banky busy promoting his own new comic book at a convention in New York. It is revealed that Holden has dissolved their partnership over Bluntman and Chronic, leaving the viewer with the assumption that he sold the publishing and creative rights over to Banky (which is corroborated in the beginning of 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back'). Banky looks over and sees Holden at a distance, who silently congratulates him for his success on the new book. Banky gestures over to a booth hosted by Alyssa who is promoting her own comic, and provides wordless encouragement with a hand gesture implying a coming together to Holden to go talk to her. Holden has a brief poignant conversation with Alyssa, and gives her a copy of 'Chasing Amy', his new comic based on their failed relationship. Holden asks her to contact him. After Holden leaves, Alyssa's girlfriend (Virginia Smith) comes back to the booth and asks who that was. Alyssa feigns indifference,casually tosses his comic on the floor behind her and replies, "Oh, just some guy I knew." She then turns to sign the next fan's material.

Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran) is a clerk at the Quick Stop, a local convenience store in Leonardo, New Jersey. On Dante's day off, his boss calls him in to cover a few hours for another employee who is sick. Arriving at the store, he finds that padlocks for the security shutters are jammed closed with chewing gum, so he hangs a sheet over them with a message in shoe polish: I ASSURE YOU; WE'RE OPEN! Dante is flustered at having to open the store at 6 AM when he'd just closed it the night before. He's also upset that he hasn't gotten enough sleep before having to play a street hockey game that afternoon. Dante's day is spent in the purgatory of serving a succession of clueless and oblivious customers while bemoaning the fact that "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" His earliest customer is a man who tries to convince cigarette-buying customers that they should buy chewing gum, Chewlies brand, instead of smoking. To emphasize his point, the man shows a customer what he claims is a diseased lung that he carries in a bag. Before long, a crowd has gathered at the checkout and turns hostile at the first customer's taunts and rantings, blaming Dante for the ills of smoking because he sells cigarettes. When they start pelting him with cigarettes, Dante's girlfriend, Veronica, appears and sprays them all with a fire extinguisher, bringing them under control. She confronts the man who recommended the chewing gum, finding out he's a representative of the Chewlies brand trying to drum up sales. She orders him out along with the mob, chiding them for having nothing better to do with their lives. Dante and Veronica talk for a bit behind the counter about their past relationships. After a few minutes, Veronica gets up to leave and sees an old flame of hers, a guy nicknamed "Snowball". She admits to Dante that she'd performed oral sex on him and the conversation quickly escalates into an argument. She tells him that she performed fellatio on 36 other guys before she dated Dante. Dante jealously considers her past acts to be more severe than his own, which include having had sex with 11 other women before Veronica. Veronica storms out, furious with Dante's insensitivity. Interspersed with the demands of his job, Dante passes time in wide-ranging conversations with his slacker friend, Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson). Randal ostensibly works at the RST Video Store right next door, although he spends almost the entire day at the Quick Stop and is not averse to treating customers with contempt. The two converse about many things to pass time, such as whether the independent contractors working on the second Death Star when it was destroyed at the end of Return of the Jedi might have been innocent victims of the Rebels' efforts to defeat the Empire. Another customer offers support for Randall's theory when he tells the duo that he passed up a contracting job on a mobster's house and the contractor that took the job was killed when the house was bombed. Veronica stops in again, bringing Dante lasagna for lunch. The two reconcile about their respective sexual pasts -- in an earlier conversation with Randal, Dante realizes that his sexual history is no better than Veronica's. She and Dante also talk about Dante's current disposition -- he's in a rut with no motivation to change -- Dante had attended college for a short period and dropped out. Veronica had transferred to a nearby university to be closer to Dante. Further contributing to Dante's misery is an announcement shown him by Randal in the local newspaper that his famously unfaithful ex-girlfriend, Caitlin, is engaged to be married. For the previous several weeks Dante had been secretly talking to Caitlin on the phone, rekindling their relationship. Dante also talks to Randal about how Caitlin had frequently been unfaithful to Dante, once even mistaking him for another man at a party they'd both gone to separately. Randal suggests that Dante stay with Veronica since she really loves him and that Caitlin isn't worth going back to because of her infidelity. Learning that he's stuck working the store all day because his relief skipped out to go to Vermont on vacation and the owner of the store and building is nowhere to be found, Dante convinces his friends to play hockey on the store roof. The game is short; 12 minutes into the 1st period, an irate customer climbs the ladder to the roof, demanding that Dante open the store. When the guy criticizes Dante's playing, Dante angrily invites him to play in their game. The guy wastes no time knocking Dante over in the face off and shoots their only ball off the roof and into a storm drain. Reopening the store, Dante finds out one another of his ex-girlfriends has died and her memorial service is today. Randal talks him into closing the store again and going to the wake. The visit is disastrous, and the two are seen leaving the funeral home in a hurry and driving away, although the audience doesn't see what transpires during the memorial service. However, a conversation moments later between the two reveals that Randal knocked over the casket. Randal seems indifferent to the chaos he caused, callously saying that the dead friend didn't feel a thing. While talking to a couple of former high-school classmates, Dante finds out that the man he's talking to, Rick Derris, was one of Caitlin's flings while she was still dating Dante. Another man enters the store and asks Dante if he's been working there all day. After a few moments, he hands Dante a court summons; Dante had allegedly sold cigarettes to an underage girl, whose mother had called the authorities. However, Dante had not been at the counter at the time, Randal had and had sold the girl the cigarettes. Dante now faces incontestable charges and a $500 fine. While he chases after the official and Derris in protest, Caitlin (Lisa Spoonhauer) suddenly appears, a surprise visit. Dante takes her to the video store for a private conversation. After she assures Dante that the engagement announcement was a premature and arranged by her overbearing and domineering mother, the two trade banter and Dante becomes torn between her and Veronica. He finally decides to take Caitlin on a date and slips home to change. He returns to discover that Caitlin has had sex with a dead man in the bathroom, having mistaken the man for Dante (the man had earlier entered the bathroom with a pornographic magazine and had suffered a fatal heart attack while masturbating). An ambulance takes Caitlin away in shock, along with the corpse. Meanwhile, Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith), a pair of stoners who've spent all day hanging out (and dealing marijuana) outside the Quick Stop, enter the store to shoplift. Dante turns down Jay's offer to party with them. Knowing Dante's predicament, Silent Bob pauses before following Jay outside and offers the following wisdom: "You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you." Dante then realizes that he loves Veronica. When she returns to the Quick Stop, though, Randal complicates things by revealing that Dante was in love with Caitlin and is planning to date his ex again. Veronica angrily breaks up with Dante and reveals to him that Randal told her of his plans to be with Caitlin. Dante finally loses his temper and fights with Randal, making a mess of the store. Afterward, while they sit in the mess they created, Dante continues to bemoan his station in life and being stuck in a dead end job, having a girlfriend who had sex with a dead man, and that Veronica had an active sex life before she and Dante began dating. Finally losing his own temper, Randall yells back at Dante and counters everything by telling Dante that he's sick of hearing him whine about how rotten his life is and that Dante needs to think about making serious changes in his life if he wants it to improve. The film ends with the two reconciling and cleaning up the store for the night. At Dante's request, Randal "rangles" out, popping back in briefly to toss Dante's sign at him stating, "You're closed!"