Bruce McCulloch

Nice guy John Plummer (Jason Lee) is engaged to ditsy Elaine Warner (Leslie Mann), and intends to use his life savings of $30,000 to put a down payment on a house because he does not want to accept money from her wealthy father, Mr. Warner (Dennis Farina), who is also John's employer and who already considers John unworthy of his daughter. Warner also has a mean dog named Rex who hates John and always agrees with his master. Simultaneously, his niece Noreen (Tammy Blanchard), daughter of John's "trailer-trash" sister, Patty (Megan Mullally), is accepted to Harvard University, but needs an additional $30,000 on top of her grants and scholarships in order to attend. Noreen shows her uncle John a videotape made many years ago, at which time he promised to pay for Noreen's college education when the time came if she were to work hard and be accepted to a university. John now has a moral and financial dilemmadisappoint his fiancée and prove her father right by showing that he cannot provide for Elaine, or disappoint his niece, sister, and her friends, who all look up to him, and take away his niece's only chance to escape from a life of lower-class poverty. John's best friend from high school, who was severely picked on and cried all the time, was an eccentric loser landscaper Walter "Duff" Duffy (Tom Green) tells John that one of his rich landscaping clients keeps large amounts of cash in an unlocked safe, and that no one is ever in the home on Sunday nights. Duff convinces John, who is bitterly opposed to the idea, that stealing from the homeowner would be okay, because no one would be hurt and the insurance company, which "deserve to be ripped off", would reimburse him. John reluctantly agrees, and he and Duff set out to steal the cash, but Duff runs off when lights come on in the home, leaving John staring down the barrel of the homeowner, Honorable Emmett Cook (Richard Jenkins)'s gun. Rather than being shot or turned over to the police, John instead finds himself forced at gunpoint to cross-dress and role-play the part of Cook's late wife as the two men lie in bed and "spoon". Eventually, after taking an incriminating photograph of John, one of many identical photos Cook keeps in an album while explaining to John that he is "not gay, I just miss my wife", Cook releases him. As he is leaving, Mr. Warner and his dog are riding by, and takes note of John's panicked behavior, believing that he has caught John in an affair which will be evidence he can use to persuade his daughter to call off the wedding. Further capers ensue as John and Duff attempt to rob a liquor store and later attempt to con a drug lord out of $30,000 by concocting a phony story about running an ecstasy ring. Meanwhile, a police detective (John C. McGinley) is on to John and Duff, but never has enough evidence to actually pin any of the crimes on them. Meanwhile, Mr. Warner breaks into the gun-toting Emmett Cook's house in order to get evidence against John, and once Cook catches him, he is also forced to "spoon". Before leaving, Warner finds the incriminating photo of John from the album in hand. Eventually, John is forced to confess everything to his fiancée, after her father confronts her with a photograph of John in drag with Cook. Not only is the fiancée not upset with John, but she now respects and admires him far more for the lengths he was willing to go to in order to provide for her, spare her feelings and send his niece to Harvard. The fiancée Elaine then confides in John that her wealthy father keeps a great deal of money at his business, and that it would be easy for them to steal it. John, Elaine, and Duff set out to rob the business in the night. Unfortunately, Mr. Warner had hid his dog Rex inside the vault. Rex attempts to attack Duff by biting him in the crotch but Rex is instead aroused and does not let go. Duff manages to get the lovestruck dog into a room, so he can try to break a window it make it look like a break in. Duff frantically tries to break a window (with Rex miserably watching while he tries to break out of the room in which he is trapped). The window will not break and Rex, yearning for Duff, finally escapes the room and jumps on top of Duff. Just as John and Elaine find the money, Mr. Warner finds them and tries to attack them but he is caught by the Detective who mistakes him for a burglar. John and Elaine escape to Duff's van but Duff is still being chased by Rex and has to jump inside the van but Rex follows them and finally has his way with Duff since there is nowhere else to run. The police arrive and the gang unsuccessfully tries to get away. They are all taken into custody by the detective and facing a series of charges including breaking and entering, animal cruelty, attempted vehicular manslaughter, (thanks to Duff selling him out), John feels like his goose is cooked, until the judge in charge of his arraignment turns out to be the gun-toting, Emmett Cook. Upon their mutual recognition, John writes, in his lawyer's notebook, a message to Cook and flashes it across the court, threatening to expose the judge's fetishupon reading the makeshift sign, Cook quickly dismisses all charges against John. Finally, Duff comes through as best he can and gives John his life savings, $1,000, which John bets on a longshot horse which wins and which paid 30 to 1. John and Elaine are married with Mr. Warner, Patty, Emmett Cook, and Duff among their wedding guests, Noreen goes off to college, and, in the final scene, John is left to ponder how loser Duff could possibly accumulate $1,000. The last scene shows Duff offering to "spoon" with Cook for $1,000.

Mary Kathering Ghallagher (Molly Shannon) wants one thing in life, a kiss. Not just any kiss mind you. She wants a Hollywood fireworks type kiss. The only way that she can get what she wants is to become like all those people she saw on T.V. She had to become a SUPERSTAR! Sky Corrigan (Will Ferrell) is her passion and she will do anything to get his lips. Then the perfect opportunity arises. Catholic Teen Magazine is sponsoring the talents show and the prize is the chance to become an extra in a movie with positive moral values. This doesn't go along without a few comical obstacles along the way. This comical parody of a Catholic teen girl's life is sure to evoke laughter from the whole family. Will Mary's dreams come true? Does she have what it takes to become the next big thing a SUPERSTAR!?

Betsy Jobs (Kirsten Dunst) and Arlene Lorenzo (Michelle Williams) are two sweet but somewhat ditsy teenage girls living in Washington D.C. in the early 1970s. Betsy comes from a wealthy family in the Georgetown area, while Arlene lives with her widowed mother Helen (Teri Garr) in an apartment in the Watergate building. Betsy stays with her father David (Karl Pruner) and brother Larry (Devon Gummersall). The house is upset as Larry has recently been drafted. One night, on a quest to mail a letter to enter a contest to win a date with teen idol singer Bobby Sherman, the two girls sneak out of Arlene's home, at the same time as the Watergate break-in. They manage to enter and leave through the parking garage door, accidentally causing the break-in to be discovered. They are seen by G. Gordon Liddy (Harry Shearer), who they believe to be committing a jewel robbery; they panic and run away. The security guard, who had heard the parking garage door being shut, goes to investigate and is startled by the taped door. The guard calls the police, who immediately arrest the burglars. The burglary revolved around members of a group associated with Nixon's 1972 re-election campaign breaking into and planting listening devices (and also taking photographs of confidential documents) in the Democratic National Committee headquarters at the Watergate Office Building in Washington, D.C., on June 17, 1972. The next day, while at the White House on a school tour, they accidentally happen across Liddy again. They don't recognize him, but he recognizes them and instantly becomes suspicious. The girls had noticed a piece of paper stuck to the underside of Liddy's shoe, which they assumed to be toilet paper. But when Liddy left, they picked the paper which had some named and an amount of money written next to each name. They keep the paper as a souvenir. Liddy points them out to H. R. Haldeman (Dave Foley), who proceeds to interrogate them; their conversation (in which it is revealed that the girls don't actually think about the President that much) is interrupted by a phone call from Haldeman's wife. During the call the door of their room opens up and they can see directly into the Oval office with Nixon playing with his dog named Checkers. Arlene attracts the attention of the dog with a whistle, which brings Nixon into their room as well. President Nixon / Dick (Dan Hedaya), who takes Haldeman aside to complain about the bugging operation being so fouled up. The girls are naturally awestruck at being in the same room as Nixon - but more awestruck at being able to play with his dog, which gives Nixon an idea. In order to keep their silence, he appoints them his official dog-walkers. Which means they must be admitted repeatedly to the White House. Rose Mary Woods (Ana Gasteyer) is Nixon's assistant. On these visits they accidentally influence major events such as the Vietnam peace process (Arlene advocates that bombing hurts people, and Nixon takes that as the voice of the people and instructs Kissinger accordingly. Arlene says that the people would like Nixon more if he stopped the war) and the Nixon-Brezhnev accord, by bringing along cookies that they have inadvertently baked marijuana into. When Betsy's brother, Larry (Devon Gummersall), reveals the cookies' "secret ingredient" and realizes the President ate them, he concludes that this was likely a leading cause of Nixon's paranoia. They also become familiar with the key figures of Nixon's administration, including the long-suffering, frequently ignored Henry Kissinger (Saul Rubinek), and inadvertently learn the major secrets of the Watergate scandal without realizing what they know. They were finding their way through the White House and mistakenly stumble onto a room where a man was counting money with a machine and putting it into a briefcase, while others were busy shredding documents. Nixon explains that Paper Mache is a hobby of his. Arlene, previously infatuated with Bobby Sherman, now falls equally hard for the president. She adorns her bedroom walls with posters of Nixon and changes her look including wearing contacts instead of glasses. Just after reading an 18½-minute message of love into his tape recorder, she plays back another part of the tape and, after hearing his coarse, brutal rantings, quickly realizes his true nature. When they confront Nixon ("You kicked Checkers, you're prejudiced, and you have a potty mouth!"), he fires and threatens them ("You don't mess with the big boys!"). The girls now reevaluate what they have learned and decide to reveal everything to the "radical muckraking bastards" (Nixon's words) at the Washington Post, Bob Woodward (Will Ferrell) and Carl Bernstein (Bruce McCulloch). So, they become informants; two 15-year-old girls are the true identity of the famous Deep Throat (Betsy's brother had just been caught watching the film of the same name). Woodward and Bernstein - portrayed as petty, childish, and incompetent - are naturally skeptical of the two girls. To make matters worse, their only piece of physical evidence, a list of names of those involved from the Committee to Re-Elect the President, is eaten by Betsy's dog. Nixon's men realize that the girls are a real threat and attempt tactics such as bugging and undercover agents to find out what they know, eventually going so far as to break into Betsy's house and plant an undercover agent as Arlene's mother's boyfriend. Eventually pushed to the limit after being chased by the Watergate "plumbers", the girls decide to take action: sneaking into Haldeman's house, they manage to find and steal a crucial tape recording. They give a transcript of it to Woodward and Bernstein (keeping the tape as a "souvenir") thus ending Nixon's political career. Nixon finds Arlene's message on his tape and erases it, reasoning that he would be "crucified" if it was perceived that he had an affair with a 15-year-old girl. After the resignation, as Nixon's helicopter flies over Betsy's house, the two girl hold up a sign depicting the phrase "You suck, Dick", further angering the now ex-president.