Burt Reynolds

Paul "Wrecking" Crewe (Adam Sandler) is a former NFL player disgraced for shaving points in a big game. He gets in an argument with his rich girlfriend, Lena (Courteney Cox), regarding his failure. He locks her in a closet, gets drunk, and goes joyriding in her Bentley Continental GT through San Diego. After completely wrecking the car and disabling several police cruisers in the process, he gets arrested and convicted for grand theft auto and driving while intoxicated and is sentenced to three years in Allenville Penitentiary in Texas. In prison, Warden Hazen (James Cromwell) asks Crewe to help the prison guards' football team. Crewe, under threat of an extra five years in prison for a falsified accusation of attacking Captain Knauer (William Fichtner), decides to help him. He informs Hazen that what his team needs is a tune-up game, in which they play a team like Appalachian State in order to boost morale. Hazen decides that Crewe, with the help of a fellow inmate, Caretaker (Chris Rock), will make a team out of the inmates for them to play as their tune-up game. He starts off with a poorly organized team, before being noticed by another prisoner, former college football star Nate Scarborough (Burt Reynolds), who decides to help him by coaching the team. Crewe, Nate and Caretaker find a rating system on the criminals (up to five stars, depending on how prone to violence they are). They all set out to find and recruit some five-star inmates: linebacker "Battle" (Bill Goldberg); fullback Turley (Dalip Singh Rana); and at safety, Torres (Lobo Sebastian), a chain-smoking outsider. But after realizing their team is built on power and nastiness (primarily on defense) and there are no offensive threats on the team, Crewe realizes he needs more players. Caretaker suggests that it is due to their lack of "brothers", as they only have one currently on their team: defensive lineman Switowski (Bob Sapp), a childlike and friendly, but large strongman. Crew approaches the black inmates, but one of them, Deacon Moss (Michael Irvin), says that none of them want to play on his team because of Crewe's point-shaving history. So, Crewe challenges Deacon to a 1-on-1 basketball game where if Crewe wins, the men will join the team. They play basketball and call their own fouls, with Crewe getting physically punished during the game. Despite Crewe losing, one of the black inmates, Earl Megget (Cornell "Nelly" Haynes, Jr.), is impressed by Crewe's resilience and joins the team, which Deacon allows with no consequence. Megget becomes the team's running back by impressing Crewe with his running ability. After a tip from Unger (David Patrick Kelly) that Crewe and Meggett are the only real offensive threats on the team, Captain Knauer, the guards' quarterback, decides that the guards should try to stop Megget by trying to get him to assault one of them and sticking him in solitary confinement. Three guards, Denham (Stone Cold Steve Austin), Garner (Brian Bosworth), and Engleheart (Kevin Nash) try to provoke Megget by using racial slurs and making him pick up books they dropped on the floor repeatedly. The guards give up on this after he withstands their harassment without being provoked. Witnessing this, Moss, "Cheeseburger" Eddy (Terry Crews), and the rest of black inmates agree to join the football team. Hazen and guards go to extreme lengths to stop Crewe's squad, even flooding their field, but the team overcomes these obstacles. Caretaker suggests that since the guards have been playing dirty, that the inmates should start acting more like criminals, such as swapping Engleheart's Anabolic steroids for estrogen pills, examining x-rays of guards with broken bones, and acquiring tapes of the guards' past games from Hazen's elderly secretary Lynette (Cloris Leachman), in exchange for Crewe playing sexual games with her and Brucie (Nicholas Turturro) caught in love with a sissy called Miss Tucker (Tracy Morgan) by camera CCTV. After watching 2 comedy videos, Scarborough plays the guard's past games videos in order to examine the guard's formation to his teammates. Without feeling conscious, Unger secretly see the activities of the inmates who were watching a movie, and he immediately told Guard Garner. To sabotage the inmates' morale, the guards Garner, Engleheart, Holland, and Lambert have Unger plant a bomb in Crewe's cell during the inmate's last practice. Crewe, deciding to stay with the team for their post-practice hype, doesn't notice Caretaker going to Crewe's cell to leave him a present. Unger, waiting for Crewe to enter his cell, doesn't notice Caretaker going into Crewe's cell. Caretaker places an old college picture of Crewe as a present on top of his radio. Caretaker listens to the "music" that Crewe was listening to (set up by Unger to provoke Caretaker to change the station) and does change the channel, causing the bomb to explode. Unger, still not knowing it was Caretaker, closes the cell door to keep any help from arriving. Crewe and Scarborough arrive too late and watch Caretaker burn to his death. At the funeral the next day, Crewe and the football team leave presents for Caretaker including a bible from Moss, "Cheeseburger" Eddy's Cheesburger with fries, Caretaker's stopwatch and whistle from Scarborough, and a picture of his mother from Crewe that he showed him a few nights before. During game day, the inmates, now calling themselves "Mean Machine", with gear provided by the late Caretaker, overcome a rough start, and Crewe has to help the team realize that winning the game is more important than personal grudges. One of the referees is also corrupt, and Crewe has to coerce him to make fair calls by giving up two downs to throw the ball in his groin. The first half ends with the score tied. The angered Hazen informs Crewe that if he does not lose he would be framed for the murder of Caretaker. Crewe acquiesces to Hazen's threat. After the guards score touchdowns while inflicting punishment on the inmates, while Crewe fakes an injury to leave the field. Crewe returns to the field, but the other inmates, believing he has returned to his old point-shaving ways, ignore him, and allow him to get tackled twice. After losing his helmet and still getting the first down, Crewe admits his sabotage to the other inmates, and asks for their forgiveness. United again as a team, the Mean Machine scores two touchdowns to cut the guards' lead to 35-28, but Megget injures his knee. Scarborough comes in for one play as replacement and scores a touchdown off a trick play involving a fumble called a Fumblerooski. They decide to go for the two-point conversion, and the win. As they get up to the line they seem to be confused, and Crewe and Coach start arguing in order to trick the guards. Moss gets the snap and passes it to Crewe, who scores the winning conversion. Knauer, with a newfound respect for Crewe, lets him know that he will testify that Crewe had nothing to do with Caretaker's death. Hazen admonishes Knauer for losing a fixed game and notices that Crewe is heading towards the exit along with the fans. Retrieving a sniper-rifle, he demands that Crewe be shot for attempting to escape. Knauer hesitates because of the numerous people near Crewe. Knauer sights up Crewe, but hesitates again, calling out Crewe's name to get him to stop. As Crewe picks up the game football and returns back, Knauer angrily hands the rifle back to Hazen and leaves, while Crewe gives the game ball to Hazen, telling them to place it in his trophy case. Moss and Battle pour a cooler of Gatorade on Hazen in a mockery of a typical football game celebration. Hazen angrily shouts that they will receive a week in the hotbox. Battle yells back, "Who gives a s**t!"

The Royal National Gallery of London sends Mr. Bean, their most inept and detested employee, to California for the transfer of a painting in a desperate attempt to get rid of him.

Former FBI secretary Erin Grant (Demi Moore) loses custody of her young daughter Angela (Rumer Willis) to her ex-husband Darrell (Robert Patrick), a criminal who cost Erin her job as a secretary for the FBI (as Darell was a drug addict and dealt in illegal drugs). The judge was sympathetic to Darrell as he was collaborating with the Miami Police Department as an informant. To afford an appeal to get her daughter back, Erin becomes a stripper at the Eager Beaver, a strip club in Miami. Erin has been working there for 8 weeks and needs to come up $15k in 6 weeks to appeal her daughter's custody decision. Erin is the top draw at the Eager Beaver and patrons come specifically to watch her strip on stage. Other strippers include Monique (Dina Spybey) who comes from Paris, Lorelei (Barbara Alyn Woods) who is a transfer from a rival club called Flesh Farm and Urbana Sprawl (Pandora Peaks). Erin would have to dance day and night and hope for generous tips to have any chance of making the money she needs for her appeal. Meanwhile Darrell has moved without informing Erin and is using Angela to steal hospital medical supplies and selling them on the black market. Rita (Siobhan Fallon Hogan) is Darell's sister, and Erin tries to find out from her where he has moved to. Shad (Ving Rhames) is a bouncer at the club and looks out for Erin. Shad wants to get rich by suing a yogurt company for a cockroach he found in their product. In reality, Shad had put the cockroach inside the yogurt himself to make his case. A Congressman named David Dilbeck (Burt Reynolds) representing Florida's 5th congressional district, visits the club and becomes infatuated with Erin. Erb Crandall (Robert Stanton) is Dilbeck's executive assistant. A patron named Paul Guber was at the club for his bachelor party. He got enamored with Erin, got on stage and hugs her, causing Dilbeck to attack Paul with an empty Champagne bottle. Shad was busy in the backroom and hence was not around to protect Erin. Aware of Dilbeck's embarrassing indulgences, another Eager Beaver patron Jerry (Orly) approaches Erin with a plan to manipulate the congressman to settle the custody battle and help her get Angela back. However, as he is the chairman of the subcommittee on sugar, Dilbeck has powerful business connections including lobbyist Malcolm Moldowsky (Paul Guilfoyle) his right-hand man, and father-and-son sugar barons Willie and Chris Rojo, whose price supports are worth hundreds of millions of dollars, and who want to ensure he remains in office. Consequently, those who can embarrass him (including Jerry, who contacted Malcolm to blackmail Dilbeck) in an election are murdered. Attorney Alan Mordecai (Stuart Pankin), who has acquired photos of the night when Dilbeck became intoxicated at the club and assaulted fellow patron Paul Guber, his client, invites Shad, a bouncer and the club's head of security, to join him in a scheme to blackmail Dilbeck. Meanwhile police officer Al Garcia (Armand Assante) has fished out Jerry's body from a lake. Al Garcia is on vacation there with his wife Donna and son Andy. Autopsy has revealed that he was drowned in tap water first before being thrown into the lake. It was murder. Jerry had Erin's photos all over his apartment and that's how Al finds Erin at the Eager Beaver and understands her full situation. Erin wants Al to make sure that Miami PD dumps Darrell as an informant, so that during her appeal he doesn't have any protection from the police department and can be exposed for the criminal he is. Fully sympathetic to her plight, he complies. However, L.W. Fingerhut, the judge overseeing Erin's case in civil court, suffers a fatal heart attack and is pronounced dead on arrival at Don Shula Hospital, causing her appeal to be delayed by six months. To protect Angela, Erin retrieves her from Rita's care, having found Darrell's address by stealing her mail. Alan approaches Dilbeck with the picture from the Eager Beaver and Malcolm is worried. Erin takes Angela to work and sees Erin dancing on stage, topless. Darrell attacks Erin outside the club, but is saved by Shad, who breaks Darrell's hand. Angela tells Erin that she looked pretty dancing on stage. Al Garcia meets Erin and tells him that Congressman Dilbeck has a crush on her and shows her the photo being used for his blackmail. Al wants Erin to contact him if Dilbeck is in touch with her. Dilbeck's personal interest in Erin persists, and she is invited to perform privately for him. He asks her to become his lover and later his wife, despite his staff's concerns that she knows too much. Malcolm threatens Erin that he knows that Angela is with Erin illegally and will put Angela in state care if Erin talks about Dilbeck to anyone. Eventually, Alan turns up dead as well and Al is now worried about Erin. However, Erin and Al Garcia begin to suspect the congressman's guilt in the murders, and Erin concocts a plan to bring the congressman to justice. But she doesn't know that Malcolm knows that Al is in touch with her (& that she is ex-FBI). Dilbeck and Malcolm then debate whether to kill Erin or simply silence her by threatening to take away her daughter. Malcolm gets Dilbeck to invite Erin for another private show and plans to kill her just after. Erin goes for the private dance without Al or Shad. Darrell then interrupts the dance, allowing Erin to retrieve a gun and force him and Dilbeck to the nearby Belle Glade sugar refinery, where she has arranged for TV crews to arrive for a news conference. On route, she forces Darrell to write a note releasing custody of Angela to her and once there, she tricks Dilbeck into confessing to the murders on tape. As Malcolm arrives, Garcia suddenly appears along with the news crew, and Dilbeck is soon after arrested. Erin, having regained full guardianship of Angela, thanks Garcia and Shad for assisting her and jokingly expresses interest to Garcia in running for Congress as Dilbeck's replacement.

Outside a hotel in Chicago, Illinois, police officer Tony Church (Burt Reynolds) and his team prepare for a drug bust. As an undercover officer named Lindy (Ned Schmidtke) arrives at the dealer's third floor room with $2 million, prostitute Della Roberts (Liza Minelli) arrives to meet her client. Knocking on the wrong door, she is turned away by "Dancer," (James Remar) a former police officer. After Della finds her client's room, Church and his team arrest the drug dealers. However, Dancer appears wearing a motorcycle helmet and throws a flash grenade into the room. Opening fire with an automatic weapon, Dancer aims at the dealers and the officers, killing everyone except Tony Church. Grabbing the money and cocaine, Dancer attempts to kill Della. Church shoots, but misses, and Dancer escapes. At the police station, Church turns in his badge after the hot-tempered and arrogant Precinct Commander Wieser (John P. Ryan) accuses him stealing the money for himself. Meanwhile, Dancer stalks Della and tries to murder her. Worried, Della asks Church to protect her, but he only agrees after she reveals she has given up prostitution. Later, Church and Della run into former police officer Roger Latrele (Richard Masur). Della recognizes Roger from a party she once worked. Breaking into the police records department, Church and Della learn that Dancer was the code name for fired officer Adam Booth. Afterward, Church and Della visit Beth Connors (Dionne Warwick), Della's former madam. Going through Beth's files, Church notices that Alexander, the city's top cocaine dealer, referred all the former police officers as clients, including Roger Latrele. Assuming Dancer and Roger work for Alexander, Church and Della ask Beth to get them invitations to a party at Alexander's mansion in order to look for evidence. At the party, Alexander recognizes Tony Church. Upset with Beth for double-crossing him, Alexander has Dancer kill her. Later, Roger feels guilty about his association with Alexander. Meeting with Church, Roger confesses that Alexander ordered the drug bust ambush. Meanwhile, Della hears about Beth's murder and breaks into the dead madam's apartment, looking for information on Dancer. As she telephones Church with the name of the club where Dancer works, Dancer kills Roger. Wearing a "wire," Della arrives at the dance club with Church. Before Della goes inside, Church kisses her. However, Dancer takes Della hostage and drives to Alexander's mansion. Church radios his former partner, Lemar, for backup, and follows them. At the mansion, Dancer puts on his motorcycle helmet and blinds Alexander and his henchmen with a flash grenade before killing them. Church appears and attacks Dancer by placing a flash grenade inside his motorcycle helmet. When the grenade detonates, Dancer's head explodes. In the final scene, Della embraces Church and announces that she will be moving in with him.

Released from prison, Stick meets up with a friend and joins him on a job delivering a bag. His friend gets killed in the setup. Stick gets away and is ready to forget all and see his daughter, but they won't forget. Ernest 'Stick' Stickley returns from prison, and very soon he gets involved with his old friend in a drug-running deal that goes sour. Hired by a rich investor, he tries to walk the line, but trouble follows him throughout as he tries to collect a debt and make up for lost time with his daughter. Stick also finds a new flame with a financial wiz and gets set to enjoy a new life, but Chucky and Nestor, the two hoods who owe him the debt, have other plans for Stick.

Kansas City 1933.Prohibition and the mobsters rule the streets.The number one crime boss is Leon Coll (Tony Lo Bianco),but Primo Pitt (Rip Torn) is determined to be top dog.One night at a cafe,Police Lieutenant Speer (Clint Eastwood) encounters his ex-partner turned Private eye Mike Murphy (Burt Reynolds) who gets into a fight with a pair of thugs.Speer's heard rumours about some dodgy dealings going on around at Murphy's agency and is convinced that the punch up had something to do with it.The next day at his office,Murphy's secetary Addy (Jane Alexander) who he and Speer have both always liked (and is possibly the reason for their feud) tells Murphy that the two thugs were in fact Repo guys.Murphy's partner Dehl Swift (Richard Roundtree) arrives flashing his money around,and Murphy becomes suspicious that his partner is up to no good. Dehl arrives at a club where his girlfriend Ginny Lee (Irene Cara) sings and gives Leon Coll's crooked book keeper $25,000 from Primo Pitt.Pitt wants all of Coll's accounts to use as evidence against him so that he can take over the streets.Ginny Lee worries that Dehl is getting in too deep when he tells her of his plan to double cross Pitt and sell Coll his books back to him for $50,000.Later at a boxing match,Speer is on a date with Addy when Dehl arrives to meet Coll.Dehl tells Coll that his book keeper betrayed him and Pitt will have enough to bring him down. Dehl goes home and Speer follows him.When Dehl arrives he finds Ginny Lee been held hostage by Pitt and his gang.Attempting to save her,Ginny Lee manages to escape but Dehl is killed.Speer kills one of the henchmen.Pitt manages to escape without been seen but without the books he wanted.At the morgue,Speer fills Murphy in on the incident.As he leaves,Coll's men pick Murphy up and tell him about the situation with Dehl and the books and that he wants them back.But it isn't long before Pitt pays him a visit as well and tells him he has his girlfriend Caroline (Madeline Kahn) hostage and that he wants the books. Speer discovers that the bullet found in Dehl's body matches the bullet from Pitt's gun and tells Murphy he wants to know Ginny Lee's whereabouts so she can testify.But Murphy secretly meets her so he can try and find out where Dehl has hidden the books.He soon realises that he had stashed them in the locker of a boxing gym.Pitt's men arrive to try and get hold of Ginny Lee but as she escapes she is hit by a car. Now in possession of the books,Murphy plans to get Caroline back but Pitt's men and Coll's men arrive at the same time and he finds himself caught up in a shootout.Speer arrives and reluctantly takes care of the situtation.Murphy tells him about Caroline,so Speer joins him at Pitt's hideout for the exchange of the books.Pitt tells them that Caroline is been held somewhere else.Murphy tells him in that in the case with the books is also some explosives.A shootout breaks out and Speer ends up killing Pitt. Speer and Murphy extract the whereabouts of Caroline from one of the thugs - at a brothel.They set out to get her back.But at the same time,Addy is taken hostage by Coll and his men at her apartment.Speer and Murphy gate crash the brothel and beat up Pitt's remaining men and rescue Caroline.As they leave,Coll drives up with Addy and tells the pair he wants the books.Addy gets out of the car and Murphy hands Coll the case with the books and explosives.As Coll and his men drive off,the car explodes. Some time later,Ginny Lee is back singing at the club and Murphy is on a date with Caroline,while Speer is dating Addy.A fight breaks out between Murphy and a few guys and after making Speer spill his drink,Speer gets him outside for a fight.The film ends with the two squaring up to each other and trading insults.

A womanizing sculptor named David goes to seek help from a psychiatrist, Marianna, to cure him of his obsession with women. Marianna (Dame Julie Andrews), a Los Angeles based therapist, tells the story of one of her patients, middle-aged David Fowler (Burt Reynolds), a successful sculptor. He originally came to see her due to his sudden impotence in all aspects of his life, including in his art and in his sex life, the latter especially worrisome as he has always adored women in the holistic sense, they in general who adore him right back. David's sessions with Marianna have most often been comprised of him talking about the women in his life, past and present, those in his early life, who included his single mother, who had her fair share of suitors and lovers, and a plethora of prostitutes, one to whom he lost his virginity, and the profession which he has always treated with respect beyond the issues of many women resorting to the business as a last resort to survive. He has moved from one girlfriend or lover to another in his fear that he would miss something special in the women he has not yet met. Those women include, but are not limited to: Courtney Wade (Cynthia Sikes), local on-air television personality who pampers him with her cooking; Agnes Chapman (Marilu Henner), who may have the best looking legs in the world according to David, but who tells David in return that the legs he saw to which he was initially attracted were not hers; Louise Carr (Kim Basinger), the wife of a Houston-based client, wealthy Roy Carr (Barry Corbin), David's sexual encounters with Louise, which are characterized by their riskiness and her canny ability to calculate the time required; and David's assistant Nancy (Jennifer Edwards), the one woman to whom he was attracted, but with whom he had never slept, due to the vulnerable state she was in when they met. Beyond trying to figure out what has caused David's current issue, Marianna has to admit to herself that she too is not immune to his charms. All of these women realize that they are most-likely temporary fixtures in his life, but love him nonetheless. However, one woman may make him feel true love, enough to want to settle down with her. —Huggo This is the tale of a sculptor named David Fowler (Burt Reynolds), who has a major womanizing problem. He goes to seek help from a psychiatrist, Marianna (Dame Julie Andrews), to cure him of his obsession with women. His story of sexual and romantic exploits with the ladies is told by Marianna. —mts77

As is the case with the two preceding 'Smokey and the Bandit' films, Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 begins with Big Enos (Pat McCormick) and Little Enos (Paul Williams) offering a sizeable wager on one's ability to transport a shipment a large distance in a short period of time. Offering a slight twist, however, the offer is this time made to a retiring Sheriff Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason), betting $250,000 against his badge on his ability to transport a large stuffed fish from an eatery in Florida to Texas. Unlike the two earlier films, Big and Little Enos this time seem to be quite active in their desire to see Buford fail in his goal. After Buford dodges their many traps (especially after he destroyed their milk truck, which drenched them and disabled their engine), they then go so far as to actually attempt to hire the Bandit (as a distraction) to stop him. Deciding that the Bandit is too egotistical and hard to manage, they hire Cledus "Snowman" Snow (Jerry Reed) as his replacement. Accepting the offer, Cledus parks his Peterbilt 359 and climbs behind the wheel of a black and gold 1983 Pontiac Trans Am. He later picks up Dusty (Colleen Camp), who quits her job as a "bookkeeper" for a used car dealership, but not before attempting to wreck her boss' business (a seedy used car dealership) by badmouthing him in the middle of broadcasting a live TV commercial. The scene of Cledus picking up Dusty in the middle of the road is almost an exact repeat of how Bo picked up Frog in the 1977 film. Cledus manages to catch up with Buford on an interstate, where he then lassoes Buford's fish off of the Justices' police cruiser; Buford needs the fish to retrieve his $250,000. Buford then begins a hot pursuit of Cledus, with another local officer who attempts to take charge of the situation. Not long after the local officer is disabled, Buford becomes disabled as well when sand is dumped on his squad car. The pursuit quickly resumes as Buford catches up to the duo after Cledus and Dusty stop at a redneck bar to pick up some food. The chase resumes as they enter a local town, where mass chaos comes with their entry. Cledus escapes when an 18 wheeler blocks the alleyway where Cletus run through. While trying to get the truck out, Buford's car is hitched to a tow-truck. After unsuccessfully pleading with the traffic officer to release his car, he sends his son Junior (Mike Henry) out to unhook it. Unable to wait, he angrily reverses the car and escapes. The tow truck operator chases him in pursuit, with Junior dangling on the hook, spinning freely. Eventually, Buford manages to make the truck flip over, sending the truck and Junior flying. A number of cars continue to crash into the pile-up. The next scene comes sudden as the Bandit and Justice are in the Mississippi fairgrounds. Buford continues to pursue on two wheels after driving on an incline with Cledus letting the fame get to his head. Cledus and Dusty decide to stop at a hotel for the night, which contains people who are involved in "sexual" acts, several of which are quite deviant. Buford finds the Bandit's Trans Am and decides to make a search of the building to find the fish, which he eventually does. While searching in the steamroom, Buford handcuffs himself to a muscular nymphomaniac female who will not take no for an answer. The next final scenes show Buford getting his tires blown by the "Enos Devil Darts." Cledus quickly arrives and retakes the fish. Cledus and Justice then start a final pursuit with Buford on two tires, first through a bunch of cattle, then to boats, then finally through a field where the Enoses set off a series of explosives, one of which destroys all of the bodywork, leaving the engine, seats, and police light bar (being held by Junior above his head). Cledus decides to surrender the fish to let Buford win. Just after cashing in on the $250,000, Buford finds Cledus and begins to apprehend him, but Buford then imagines Cledus to be the "Real" Bandit (in a cameo appearance by Burt Reynolds) who sweet talks him to letting him go and starting a new pursuit. Similar to the ending of the 1977 movie, Buford is again chasing the Bandit in the hulk of his police cruiser (the muscular female has taken Junior's place riding shotgun this time), while Junior chases after "Daddy" for miles on end, dropping the reward money as he goes.

After five successful years of living and working together, a couple decide to get married. But what they don't count on is how to survive the honeymoon. When a professional couple who have lived & worked together for many years finally decide to marry, their sudden betrothal causes many unexpectedly funny and awkward difficulties. They soon find that being married is often quite different from being "best friends." —Ary Luiz Dalazen Jr. <ajr@fortalnet.com.br> Richard Babson and Paula McCullen are successful Hollywood screenwriting partners, best friends, roommates and lovers. They decide to take the next step in their relationship by buying a house together. Because of the symbolism of the house purchase, Richard is able to convince an initially reluctant Paula to get married, her reluctance due to it meaning that she has to be a grown-up in life, just one of her many neuroses. In agreeing to get married, Paula in turn is able to convince Richard to take a cross-country train trip first to visit her parents in Buffalo, New York for a week to help celebrate their fortieth anniversary, then to Vienna, Virginia to visit his parents for a few days, Paula and Richard who have yet to meet their respective in-laws. Beyond the pressures they face from their producer Larry Weisman concerning their latest screenplay, Richard and Paula may not be able to survive not only as a married couple but as a partnership in all its aspects on this trip, as each not only can see into the future of their spouse by his/her parents, but the state of marriages in all their facets the longer they progress. The situation is exacerbated by their marriage being placed under a microscope by those around them. —Huggo

A town's Sheriff and regular patron of a historical whorehouse fights to keep it running when a television reporter targets it as the Devil's playhouse. Founded in 1910 just outside of the city limits of Gilbert located in Lanville County, Texas, the Chicken Ranch has for generations been known as the best little whorehouse in Texas for its wholesome fun, strict moral code, and cleanliness, all perpetuated by its original owner, Miss Wulla Jean. Seven years ago, Miss Wulla Jean died, leaving the Chicken Ranch to her favorite working girl, Miss Mona Stangley, who wants to keep the same traditions of Miss Wulla Jean. The Chicken Ranch has always had the unofficial blessing of the local authorities, who see the ranch providing an important community service, one which most in local authority have used at one time or another in their lives. In fact, Miss Mona and Lanville County Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd have been in a relationship for years, Ed Earl, who is Miss Mona's protector, albeit one with a hot temper and good ol' boy attitude that doesn't exactly match the needs of his law upholding position. That blessing may change when television personality and consumer watchdog, Melvin P. Thorpe, one of the most powerful men in the state, starts an on-air exposé of the illegal activities at the Chicken Ranch, the exposé which includes Ed Earl's role in letting it happen. Ed Earl and Miss Mona's relationship goes through some difficult times on how to deal with this issue, especially with the upcoming annual party night with the players following the Thanksgiving Day football game between the University of Texas and Texas A&M, this party which is arguably the Chicken Ranch's busiest night of the year, and one filled with tradition for the ranch and the participating schools. Will the Chicken Ranch be able to remain open especially in light of a spineless Governor who sways to the direction of polls, and will Ed Earl and Miss Mona's relationship be able to withstand the pressure? —Huggo

Big Enos Burdett (Pat McCormick) is attempting to be elected as Governor of Texas against other candidate, John Coen (David Huddleson). After a figurative and literal "mudslinging" between the two, they are both confronted by the outgoing governor, and given a thorough tongue lashing. As Burdett is leaving the office he overhears the governor yelling at an assistant to take responsibility of transporting a crate of unknown content from Miami to the Republican Party convention in Dallas. Burdett then schemes to pick up the crate and deliver it to the convention. He enlists the help of Bandit (Burt Reynolds) and Cledus (Jerry Reed) to carry out the task. The early parts of the film feature Cledus attempting to convince the Bandit to "do it one last time." Unfortunately, in the time since their previous challenge in the original 'Smokey and the Bandit' film, the Bandit has split from his love-interest "Frog" (Sally Field) and become an alcoholic. The Bandit is said to be "the only man in the world to drink up a Trans Am,". Cledus seeks the help of Frog to encourage the Bandit to sober up and regain his fitness, since Big Enos has raised the stakes of the game to $400,000. Frog abandons her second attempt at wedding Buford T. Justice's son Junior (Mike Henry) to help. She is initially persuaded more by the money than her love for Bandit. She buys him a 1980 Turbo Trans Am "Son of Trigger"... powered by the Turbo 301, by trading in Junior's car. The middle sections of the film feature a madcap race across the United States as the trio once again tries to outrun and outwit Sheriff Justice (Jackie Gleason) and Junior. The team discovers that their cargo is in quarantine for three weeks, and they need to get it to Dallas in three days. When they break into the quarantine area to steal the crate, the mysterious cargo turns out to be an elephant (the mascot of the Republican Party) who they named Charlotte after Snowman remarked that she reminded him of his Aunt Charlotte and even smelled like her, too. When Cledus opens the crate containing the elephant, Charlotte races out, nearly trampling Frog. The Bandit saves the day by doing a backflip onto the elephant's back and riding the elephant out of the quarantine shed. Noticing a splinter was stuck in her foot, the Bandit removes it, and the elephant takes a shine to Bandit. On their way to Dallas, Cledus fears Charlotte is in poor health. They find an Italian doctor, played by Dom DeLuise, in the back of an ambulance stopped at the same gas station as they are. When the doctor, a gynecologist by trade, finds out it is an elephant he has to look at, he freaks out and nearly runs away. As the doctor attempts to refuse helping them, he sees his driver speed away in the ambulance, leaving him stranded. After the Bandit and Cledus bribe him with large amounts of money he gives in and agrees to ride in the truck with the elephant and examine her. Charlotte is later discovered to be pregnant, and eventually gives birth later in the film. As they try to make the Burdett's deadline, the doctor pleads with the Bandit for some time off the road so Charlotte can rest off of her feet. He reluctantly gives in twice, the first time wrapped up by Charlotte, the second time agrees on his own, Frog citing Bandit's desire to regain his lost fame of the past. She grows closer to him as she did in the past film. While at a restaurant, she sees him scribbling on a napkin a picture of Charlotte cradled by suspended netting in order to keep her off of her feet. She becomes furious and leaves. The Bandit follows and she says he does not care about the elephant and when he likes himself again would she then consider seeing him again. He later makes his drawing a reality, in a near drunken stupor. The doctor agrees the idea will work and agrees to press on. Unable to stop the Bandit and Cledus, Justice enlists the help of his two brothers, Reginald Van Justice from Canada, and Gaylord Justice (both also played by Jackie Gleason), from another part of Texas. Justice lures the Bandit into a valley, with a line of Mounties on one hill side, Texas Rangers on the other. Bandit orders Cledus to continue delivering Charlotte to Dallas. Cledus later returns, with a convoy of trucks to help destroy all of the police cars. Charlotte and the doctor watch the action from afar. After the mass destruction of police cars, only Buford, Gaylord, and Reginald come out relatively unscathed. Bandit and Cledus escape the valley by driving across a bridge of tractor trailers. As the Justice's follow, a trailer pulls out resulting in their cars falling down and being destroyed. However, Buford's car is still operable, though folded up in the middle and missing its doors and roof. Justice and Junior are cut off by a farm tractor, and they drive off the road, hitting an embankment by a pond, throwing Junior into the pond. When asked what he was thinking about, Buford simply says, "Retiring." The movie closes with Bandit informing Frog he liked himself again, that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life without her. When she asks about Burdett's bet, he informs her he blew it, and said they could still get there nonetheless, late though. He shows her Charlotte and her baby in circus-like chariots. Frog is overjoyed. Bandit asks Charlotte if it is OK to marry Frog, to which Charlotte responds loudly. They drive away with Charlotte and her baby in tow... and Buford still pursuing them in a bus.

In New York City, Phil Potter (Burt Reynolds), a freelance magazine writer, tries once more to reconcile with his wife Jessica (Candice Bergen), but she wants a divorce and is ready to pursue an independent life as a singer-songwriter. Leaving their apartment with a single suitcase, Phil moves to Boston, Massachusetts, where his brother, Michael "Mickey" Potter (Charles Durning), resides. While Mickey, a psychiatrist, recommends a local support group for divorced men, and his wife, Marva (Frances Sternhagen), states that the end of marriage could be an exciting new beginning, Phil is too sad to consider their advice. Later, Phil rents an apartment in town and tries to make the place feel like a home, but longs for companionship. Walking to Mickey's house for dinner one night, Phil encounters a skittish woman, who believes Phil is following her. After cursing at him, she runs away. When Phil arrives at the house, Mickey introduces the same woman as Marilyn Holmberg (Jill Clayburgh), a nursery school teacher and friend, whom he and Marva invited to dinner, hoping she and Phil might be well matched. Realizing the mistake she made, Marilyn is overcome with embarrassment. At the end of the evening, Phil asks Marilyn for a date, but she is wary of recently divorced men and thinks they should wait. After learning his divorce is final, Phil joins the support group and has his first date in eight years with an overeager woman named Marie. As soon as he arrives home from the uncomfortable experience with Marie, he telephones Marilyn and persuades her to have dinner with him. The evening goes well, and Phil and Marilyn enjoy getting to know each other over the next two weeks. Phil, however, confides to the support group that he has avoided going to bed with Marilyn, and a fellow divorce suggests that he probably still feels married. One evening, Phil surprises Marilyn at her apartment and announces that he wants to have sex with her. Despite his abrupt declaration and her anxiety, they spend the night together. When Phil leaves before dawn, Marilyn angrily reminds him that she is not a one-night stand, but Phil reassures her. As his relationship with Marilyn progresses, Phil overcomes his fear of teaching for the first time and begins a new job educating college students about magazine writing. At Thanksgiving, Mickey and Marva notice how happy the couple appears. During the holiday dinner, Marilyn answers the telephone and tells Phil that Jessica is on the line. While everyone at the table overhears the conversation, Phil awkwardly informs Jessica that Marilyn is a friend of Mickey and Marva. Upset, Marilyn leaves the gathering. Phil follows her, explaining that he was nervous since he had not spoken to Jessica in awhile and felt as if he was cheating on her. Although Marilyn is more comfortable with Phil than any previous boyfriend, she believes he still has feelings for his former wife and says goodbye. Later, Phil approaches Marilyn while she volunteers at the nursery school's charity fair. In light of her outburst at Thanksgiving, Phil believes they need to define their relationship more clearly, then asks Marilyn to move in with him. With both nervousness and enthusiasm, she agrees. To celebrate their first evening of co-habitation, Marilyn makes a "Welcome Home Hotstuff" banner, while Phil is at work. On the way back to the apartment, Phil arranges for duplicate keys and adds Marilyn's name to the mailbox. Upon arrival, however, he is shocked to find Marilyn sitting on the couch with Jessica. To ease the awkward encounter, Marilyn enables the former spouses to visit in private. Dressed in a sexy blouse, Jessica explains to Phil that she impulsively decided to visit him and apologizes for her timing, but confesses she is disappointed to find he is not pining for her. As Phil drives Jessica back to her hotel, she flirts with him, while he admits that he is still mad at her. When they arrive at her hotel room, Jessica hangs the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door and has a bottle of wine waiting. Phil is ready to give in to the seduction, but as she sings her song, "Better Than Ever," dedicated to their reconciliation, his desire dissipates, and he leaves. Jessica telephones later that evening to explain that her dramatic behavior was inspired by her love for him. During the support group meeting, Phil confesses that he desperately wanted to have sex with his former wife. While shopping for a couch with Jessica, Phil has an anxiety attack in the department store, and Mickey is summoned to calm him down. After he recovers, Phil reveals to Marilyn that he must return to Jessica. As Marilyn angrily moves back to her apartment, she persuades Phil to "swear on his brother's life" that he will never contact her again. In New York City, Phil attempts to resume his relationship with Jessica, but as they bicker, Phil is reminded that the connection with his former wife does not feel as "terrific" as the one with Marilyn. After six weeks, he arrives back in Boston. Phil, however, is unaware that Marilyn has been has been dating John Morganson, a professional basketball player with the Boston Celtics. At the department store, he buys the couch Marilyn wanted, then arrives outside her nursery school dressed for the Christmas season as Santa Claus. Marilyn does not immediately recognize him as she meets her new boyfriend and drives away. When Phil tries telephoning her, she pretends to be a voice on an answering machine. Next, Phil tracks down Marilyn at the Boston Garden arena while she watches her boyfriend practice with the Celtics. Seeing Phil arrive, Marilyn immediately claims she is no longer interested in their relationship, until Phil asks her to marry him. Shocked by the proposal, Marilyn cannot hide her feelings, and embraces him.

Bo Darville, aka The Bandit, is a semi-retired trucker legend, working in a trucking rodeo. He is approached by a shady father and son tycoon team (Big and Little Enos Burdett) who are planning a big party. Only problem is, in 1978 America, due to arcane liquor laws, it was illegal to ship Coors beer east of Texas...and the Burdetts wanted some for their Atlanta, Georgia shindig. 400 cases of it. The Burdetts offer The Bandit $80,000 dollars to get the brews in Texarkana, Texas and bring them back to Atlanta in 28 hours. Enter Cledus Snow, "The Snowman." Bandit convinces Cledus to drive the beer truck, while he will run blocker--distracting Smokey, just like in their heyday. With Cledus convinced, the decoy is revealed...a 1977 black Pontiac Trans Am with gold eagle paint scheme, one of the most iconic automotive symbols in American film history. Like the Battle of Troy is to Odysseus, securing of the brew is just the beginning. Now, they just gotta get it home. How hard could that be? They would have made it with hours to spare, save for their paths crossing with the disruption of the wedding of the soon to be blushing new couple, Deputy Buford T. and Mrs. Carrie Justice, Jr. Seems the almost-Mrs. Justice got second thoughts at the altar, and "danced back up the aisle", apologizing to Junior all the way. On her way out of the church, she flags down the first car to pass...Bandit Darville's Trans Am. She hops in, wedding dress and veil (for awhile at least), flapping in the T-tops. She introduces herself to The Bandit, who eventually names her Frog, as she's prone to hoppin'. Hey, you try getting out of a wedding train in a 70s American muscle car going 110 miles an hour. Back at the Justice wedding, the father of the groom is beside himself with rage. As he exits the church, Sherriff Buford T. Justice--OF TEXAS!!--is informed that the harlot who has embarassed him in front of his town sped away at harrowing speeds...in a black Trans Am. The pursuit is on!! Cledus is making good time in the beer truck, although an unscheduled swim with his co-pilot (Bassett Hound Fred) and a truck stop fight with a group of grizzled bikers lose him valuable minutes. Meanwhile, chemistry is sparking up ahead between Bandit and Frog. He even takes his hat off, which he only does for one thing...and one thing, only. As Texas turns to Arkansas, suddenly something becomes apparent...Sherriff Justice is still in pursuit, and he loses another marble with each new insult to his police vehicle. Many, many police cruisers are destroyed. An unfinished suspension bridge is jumped...and then, not. Diablo sandwiches. The rocking chair. Hot Pants. Finally, the entire Georgia State Police force, complete with helicopter, join the chase. In a stunning climax of events, the deadline is met...and the money is collected from Enos and enos. OK, not really. A double-or-nothing deal is struck for some Boston clam chowder (in 18 hours), and off run Bandit, Frog, and the Snowman in their new candy apple red Cadillac. Bandit, via the police band of his ever-present CB, finally presents himself to Buford...eventually. Tipping him off to their next destination, they speed away...heading north to New England. Sherriff Justice peels out of the parking lot, leaving Junior behind...obediently chasing Daddy. Who else, after all, is going to hold his hat?

LA Police Lt. Phil Gaines (Burt Reynolds) and Nicole Britton (Catherine Deneuve), a high-priced call girl and the lieutenant's girlfriend, have their weekend plans dashed when Gaines receives a call that a dead woman was found on the beach. Before he leaves, the two plan a romantic trip to Rome, Italy. At the police precinct, Gaines and his partner, Sgt. Louis Belgrave (Paul Winfield), meet Marty and Paula Hollinger (Ben Johnson and Eileen Brennan), and ask Marty to view the deceased to see if it is his daughter, Gloria. Upon seeing Gloria's naked lifeless body, Marty punches Gaines in the face, screaming they should have covered her up. Sgt. Belgrave insists they charge Marty with assault, but Gaines apologizes for not covering the girl. Later, Gaines enters an interrogation room to find Belgrave and another police officer beating a confession out of an Albino man (David Estridge). Infuriated by their brutality, Gaines orders the prisoner released and given something to eat. Gaines then learns that Jerry Bellamy (David Spielberg), a murderer he arrested, was paroled after only serving five years of his two life sentences. Gaines goes to his office and stares wistfully at a seven-year old calendar showing the Roman coliseum. That night, Marty Hollinger lies in bed picturing his daughter, Gloria, as she grew from a toddler to teenager. His wife reminds him they "lost" Gloria a long time ago. Meanwhile, Gaines stands on his balcony overlooking Los Angeles, California, while Nicole has phone sex with a client. When Nicole hangs up, she complains her job is getting harder every day. Gaines suggests she quit, but is silent when she asks if he will take care of her. To lighten the mood, Nicole encourages him to reminisce about the love affair he had when he visited Rome. The next day, Belgrave and Gaines brief their boss, Capt. John Santoro (Ernest Borgnine), on the Gloria Hollinger case. Although the girl tested positive for semen, there was no sign of rape. Plus, blood tests indicate that Gloria died of suicide. After learning the girl's father is "a nobody," Santoro tells them to close the file. Meanwhile, Nicole entertains mob attorney, "Kingfish" Leo Sellers (Eddie Albert), on his yacht. Sellers goes ashore to make a telephone call. In Akron, Ohio, his call is answered by a man at a telephone booth. Three men leave a union meeting hall, and are killed when the car explodes. Afterward, the man tells Sellers "it is done", and hangs up. Back in Los Angeles, Gaines removes a picture of Sellers and Gloria Hollinger from the dead girl's wallet. Sgt. Belgrave snatches it from him and gives it to another officer to enlarge it and make additional prints. The Hollingers arrive to collect their daughter's personal effects, and Marty refuses to accept his daughter's death was a suicide. When Gaines tells him the case is closed, Marty threatens to find the killer and take care of him. After Marty leaves, Paula explains he has never been the same after his traumatic experiences in the Korean War and a sympathetic Gaines gives her his business card in case she needs his help. Gaines learns that Jerry Bellamy has killed two women and taken a third hostage while holed up in a downtown factory. When Gaines arrives at the scene, Bellamy threatens to shoot his prisoner unless the police lieutenant comes in alone. Inside, Bellamy orders Gaines to kneel, then, as the killer rants about the evils of women, Belgrave drops from a skylight, distracting the killer. Gaines pulls his gun and kills Bellamy. Later, Gaines and Belgrave are drinking in Gaines's office, when Belgrave insists they investigate Leo Sellers's connection to Gloria's death. He argues that Seller is a mob lawyer, and Gloria was carrying an envelope holding $2,000 in cash and had Sellers's picture in her wallet. Knowing Seller is one of Nicole's clients, a reluctant Gaines agrees. Meanwhile, Marty collects Gloria's things from Gloria's roommate, Peggy Summers (Catherine Bach), who shows him a much larger photograph of Gloria and Sellers. Learning Gloria was a stripper who dated Herbie Dalitz, the emcee at her club, Marty goes to confront Herbie. That night, Gaines confesses he is having trouble accepting Nicole's profession. When he refuses to marry her, she packs to leave him. Gaines slaps her and she hits him in the head with an ashtray. He throws her on the bed, and what starts as a violent kiss turns passionate and they make love. The next morning, a narcotics officer gives Gaines a tape recording of Sellers calling Ohio and the bomb blast that killed the union men. He explains that the telephone booth was "bugged" to catch drug deals, but the tape now belongs to homicide. Later, Gaines and Belgrave respond to a telephone call from Paula Hollinger and go to her home where they find a badly beaten Marty. Marty says Gloria was at a sex party at a home owned by a man named Leo. Gaines agrees to investigate Gloria's death, but only if Marty promises not to take any more chances. Gaines interviews Herbie Dalitz, who admits procuring Gloria for Leo after he saw her in a pornographic movie. When questioned, Leo Sellers admits partying with Gloria, but insists she left his house alive. When Gaines asks if Leo feels any responsibility for the girl's suicide, Leo answers she was screwed up before he met her. Gaines then reveals that police taped his call to Ohio. Leo's only response is to say that he knows Nicole and Gaines are living together and admires that Gaines does not let her profession get in the way of their relationship. Later, Gaines has drinks with Paula Hollinger and learns that Gloria was the result of an affair she had while Marty was in a veteran's hospital being treated for mental illness. Although Marty learned of the affair, he never suspected he was not Gloria's father. The next day, Gaines tells Marty that Gloria committed suicide. When Marty accuses Gaines of being paid off, the lieutenant shows him film of Gloria and Peggy Summers having sex with a man. Marty leaves in tears, goes to Peggy and beats her until she reveals Leo's last name. When he leaves, Peggy calls Belgrave. Carrying a loaded gun, Marty confronts Sellers at his house. Sellers ask why kill him, as there "were a lot of men who led Gloria astray?" Marty replies that he cannot kill everyone and shoots him between the eyes. Gaines and Belgrave arrive to find Leo dead and Marty slumped in a chair. Gaines tries to get Marty to understand the trouble he is, but Marty just repeats that he will have his day in court. After learning Marty bought the gun from a pawnshop without giving his name, Gaines takes the pistol and shoots Marty in the shoulder, then concocts a story that Sellers pulled the gun when Marty confronted him and, in the ensuing struggle, Marty was wounded and Leo killed. Belgrave protests, but Gaines explains that even though Leo did not kill Gloria, he was a murderer and there are times justice is served by "sticking up for the Marty's of the world." Gaines telephones Nicole and tells her to meet him at the airport so they can fly to Sausalito, California, and get married. After hanging up, Gaines walks into a liquor store, where an armed man attempts to rob the place. Gaines intercedes, but he is shot dead. Later, Belgrave finds Nicole at the airport and breaks the news. As they leave, an airplane headed for Rome takes off.

A sadistic warden asks a former pro quarterback, now serving time in his prison, to put together a team of inmates to take on (and get pummeled by) the guards. A football player-turned-convict organizes a team of inmates to play against a team of prison guards. His dilemma is that the warden asks him to throw the game in return for an early release, but he is also concerned about the inmates' lack of self-esteem. —Matt Heffernan <msh6880@cs.rit.edu> An ex football player Paul Crewe (Reynolds) spirals out after being caught shaving points to gamble on games. Some bad choices lead to Crewe getting sent to prison where the warden has his eye on him to coach their semi pro team. After refusing, at the lead guards forceful request, crewe finds himself in the dregs of the prison workforce. Finally the warden decides to use him in a different capacity and tasks him with putting together an all inmate football team to play a tune up game with the guards. Through trials and tribulations, Crewe gets his team together and puts the guards through their paces in an all out roughed out guard on inmate football game. Former star quarterback Paul Crewe is arrested and convicted on a variety of charges and sent to State prison. The chief guard, Captain Knauer, is immediately antagonistic towards Crewe and makes his life a living hell. Crewe gets a chance for some revenge when the warden arranges a game between the inmates, coached and quarterbacked by Crewe, and the guards, coached by Knauer. Now he has four weeks to whip his team into shape, a team whose members haven't played in years, if at all, while the guards team play regularly and successfully. —grantss

A prisoner is released from custody on the condition that he becomes a stool pigeon for the FBI to help them incriminate a corrupt sheriff. Good ol' Southern boy Gator McKlusky has served four years of his five-year prison sentence for moonshining, up to this point a model prisoner. When he learns that his younger brother, college student and activist Donny McKlusky, was murdered, his bound dead body found in a Bogan County Lake, he is able to convince the authorities to release him early in return for him finding evidence against the suspected culprit, Bogan County Sheriff J.C. Connors, not for the murder of which they have no idea of the McKluskys' suspicions against Connors, but concerning an active but somewhat cold IRS file, namely yet unproven but well-known unreported lucrative profits in bilking moonshiners. They also know that the sheriff is crooked in other ways, but the IRS only has the jurisdiction on the tax evasion issue. They provide Gator with a souped-up car fit for moonshine runs that would be able to outrun almost any on road vehicle, and a contact in Bogan County: Dude Watson, a mechanic who has no option but to cooperate despite his own fears about Connors, in he being a con on probation, the conditions which they know he has broken. In turn, Dude is able to set Gator up with moonshiner Roy Boone to infiltrate the business in the county as one of his runners. The IRS's goal, which has its inherent risks for Gator in him needing to provide names of moonshiners, is secondary for Gator, who just wants to avenge Donny's murder. But Gator could have bigger problems if the Sheriff gets wind that the Feds are after him via Gator and/or Dude, they or anyone connected to them possibly ending up like Donny if he has his way. —Huggo

Four city men on a canoe trip pit their nerve against the churning waters of a wild Georgia river, which soon becomes a fight for survival against nature and the brutality of man.

The credits at the start and close of the film are played over a backdrop of a large mass of white rabbits, to the tune of "Let's Misbehave" by Cole Porter. The film is divided into seven vignettes, as follows: "Do Aphrodisiacs Work?" In Elizabethan times, the king (Anthony Quayle) is infuriated by his fool (Woody Allen), whom he considers unfunny. Later, the fool follows the queen (Lynn Redgrave) into the gardens and fondles her. After she stalks away, the ghost of the fool's father appears and commands him to have sex with the queen. A sorcerer provides him with an aphrodisiac but warns him that if the king discovers the potion, he will be killed. The fool then gives the queen the potion, and as soon as she drinks it, she demands that he ravage her. Upon removing her clothes, however, the fool discovers her chastity belt, and gathers keys and tools in a desperate attempt to break it open. As the fool opens the belt, the noises from inside the room attract the attention of the guards and the king himself. Hearing him approach, the fool and the queen struggle to close the belt, but his hand becomes stuck inside, so she throws her dress over his hand to hide it. When the king wants to make love to his wife, the fool pretends to leave but hides beneath her skirt. Soon, the king uncovers the fool and has him beheaded. "What Is Sodomy?" At Dr. Ross's (Gene Wilder) busy practice, he is surprised by a visit from Armenian shepherd Milos Stavros (Titos Vandis), who announces that he is in love with a sheep named Daisy. Unsure how to respond, Ross is further horrified to hear that Milos made love to the animal but now imagines that she is cold and indifferent to him. When Milos urges the doctor to speak to her for him, Ross gently suggests psychiatric care. Milos insists on carrying Daisy inside, where, as Ross explains why Milos' feelings are completely inappropriate, the doctor strokes the sheep and begins to fall in love with her. That night at dinner Ross is listless and later, his wife Anne (Elaine Giftos) finds him petting his lambswool sweater. The next day, Milos brings Daisy to the office, and Ross nervously woos her. He takes her to a hotel room, ordering caviar and grass from room service. Soon he is buying the animal diamonds and lingerie, but when Anne catches the two together, Ross loses his family and his license. Waiting tables to support Daisy, he screams to the crowd that he is a doctor, then returns home to find a note from Milos stating that he has taken Daisy back to Armenia. A broken man, Ross drinks Woolite on street corner. 'Why Do Some Women Have Trouble Reaching an Orgasm?" (Note: this segment is filmed entirely in Italian) After his wedding, Fabrizio (Woody Allen) takes his bride Gina (Louise Lasser) to bed, but she is unmoved and passive. Over the next weeks, he grows despondent at his wife's lack of passion, and disheartened by his friends' tales of their sex lives. Despite his exhaustive efforts, she remains bored. Fabrizio visits his priest, who states he can do nothing to help. One day the couple is in a store when Gina becomes aroused and urges Fabrizio to make love to her. Realizing that she wants to make love only in public places, the two enjoy sex in church, restaurants and friends' homes. Although Fabrizio is concerned that they will one day be discovered, he is relieved that at least his wife is not frigid. "Are Transvestites Homosexuals?" Sam (Lou Jacobi) and Tess have dinner with the parents of their daughter's fiance Alvin. During the meal, Sam goes upstairs, ostensibly to use the bathroom but really to try on Alvin's mother's dresses. As the others are downstairs discussing their travels, upstairs he prances in a dress, hat, high heels and purse. Upon hearing Alvin's father climbing the stairs, Sam hangs from the window ledge to hide. Unable to hold on, he drops to the ground and walks to the sidewalk in front of the house, where his purse is snatched by a man running by. Women walking nearby gather to help him, then the police arrive. Insisting that he does not want to press charges, Sam struggles to hide his mustache. When another police car pulls up with its siren blaring, everyone in Alvin's parents' home steps outside to investigate. Sam tells the police that he is three months pregnant, prompting Alvin's father to invite him inside. At that point, Tess recognizes him, shouting "She's my husband." Later, in bed, Tess tells her husband that she does not mind that he is "diseased and perverted," and pleased that she is so understanding, he agrees to see a doctor about his condition. "What Are Sex Perverts?" The television game show "What's My Perversion?" begins with a commercial for hair conditioner that features two football players in a locker room. As the ad ends, the men begin kissing. Jack Barry emcees the show, which asks celebrity panelists Pamela Mason, Regis Philbin, Toni Holt and Robert Q. Lewis to guess a contestant's deviant sexual preference, based on the answers to questions they pose. Contestant Bernard Jaffe, who likes to expose himself on subways, answers a series of questions, but the panel cannot guess his perversion, speculating that perhaps he is a rapist or child molester. Later, one lucky winner acts out his fantasy on air: Rabbi Chaim Baumel, a silk stockings fetishist, is tied up and whipped while his wife sits at his feet eating pork. "Are the Findings of Doctors and Clinics Who Do Sexual Research and Experiments Accurate?" Victor Shakapopulis (Woody Allen in another role), a sexual phenomena researcher, stops at a gas station on his way to the home of Dr. Bernardo (John Carradine), a renowned sex expert with whom he plans to work. Helen Lacey (Heather MacRae), a young reporter planning to interview Bernardo, tells him her car has broken down, so he offers her a ride. At Bernardo's mansion, the door is opened by hunchback Igor. Bernardo enters and whips Igor, then serves dinner, at which the two younger visitors praise the doctor and his innovative findings. He notes that although he was thrown out of the Masters and Johnson Institute for Sexual Studies and labeled insane, he initiated dozens of major findings in the field. He then takes them to his laboratory, where Victor and Helen are horrified to see the experiments being performed on unwilling human subjects: one man has sex with a huge loaf of bread, while the brain of a lesbian is being transported into a man who works for the telephone company. Bernardo holds them at gunpoint and declares that Helen will be the subject of his new experiment, in which he will test her heart rate while she is "gang-banged" by twenty Boy Scouts. Igor restrains Victor and straps Helen down, but Victor escapes, grabs Bernardo's gun and shoots into the lab, ruining his equipment. As the lab begins to burn, Victor frees Helen and they flee. Bernardo and Igor are trapped in the ensuing explosion. Outside, the car will not start, and Victor and Helen witness a giant breast burst out of the house and move toward them. They race to the sheriff to report the "fiendish tit" on the loose. Meanwhile, a couple parked nearby is attacked by the breast. Victor plots to destroy it, and so lures it out into a field. Dodging the milk it squirts at him, he holds up a cross and leads it into a giant bra, trapping it. Walking with an admiring Helen, Victor decides that some things about sex are better left unknown. "What Happens During Ejaculation?" In a mission control center inside one man's brain, operators are busily controlling all his bodily functions. The main operator (Tony Randall) signals the eyes to show him the man's dinner date and agrees with the controller (Burt Reynolds) that there is some likelihood of sexual activity later. The sperm prepare to launch, hoping this is not another false alarm. The operator directs the man to attempt to make love to his date in his car. Engineers winch up the penis, but the workers fail to keep the erection upright. All of the body systems check in with each other to locate the problem, and finally a 45-degree erection is achieved. As he lines up for penetration, one sperm (played by Woody Allen) is scared to go out, but his friend reminds him that he took an oath to fertilize an ovum or die trying. Suddenly, the erection once again flags, and the operators scramble to alleviate the problem, which is revealed to be a priest in the conscience room turning up the guilt mechanism. Jettisoning the priest, the main operator calls "Full steam ahead." In the erection room, the laborers sing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" while the sperm play a melancholy tune, then launch. When the orgasm is completed, the controllers celebrate with champagne and cigarettes. In the car, the date asks to "go again," and the main operator signals the gonads that "We're going for a record."

A widow hires an ex-gambler to retrieve gold bars from a sunken river boat in Colorado and discreetly return them to the Federal Mint, from where they had been stolen by her dead husband. Sam Whiskey is an all-round talent, but when the attractive widow Laura offers him a job, he hesitates: he shall salvage gold bars, which Laura's dead husband stole recently, from a sunken ship and secretly bring them back to the mint before they are missed. But how shall he manage to get several hundred pounds of gold into the mint without anyone noticing? —Tom Zoerner <Tom.Zoerner@informatik.uni-erlangen.de> At the end of the Civil War, Sam Whiskey (Burt Reynolds) is seduced away from his career as a gambler by the lovely Laura Breckenridge (Angie Dickinson). She wants him to help her recover a quarter of a million dollars worth of gold bars which her late husband stole. The gold is aboard a sunken river boat in the River Platte in Colorado and must be recovered and restored to Denver Mint before the theft is discovered - which could destroy Laura's family name. Sam agrees to do the job for $20,000 and teams up with a local blacksmith and a buddy from the war. The team heads for the Platte, unaware that they are being followed by an outlaw who wants the gold for himself. Using a home-made diving helmet that will allow Sam to go beneath the river; but after the heroes retrieve the loot, the outlaw steals it from them. With some interesting weaponry, Sam manages to recover the gold and with his cohort rejoins Laura in Denver where he poses as a government inspector, enters the mint, and "accidentally" damages a bust of George Washington. He insists upon having it repaired and takes it back to his blacksmith friend, where the gold is recast into the shape of the bronze bust. When outlaw Rick Davis catches up with the trio, he mistakenly steals the original bust. Sam and company gain entrance to the mint and there recast the bust back into gold bars. The next morning Laura rewards the men with the promised $20,000 and Sam with her heart. —T.O. (adapted from TCM) Above all, Sam Whiskey, an intrepid adventurer who's not afraid to get his hands dirty if the price is right, loves to take his chances. With this in mind, after numerous underpaid jobs, a stint in the army, and a failed attempt in the business world, desperate-for-cash Sam finds himself hopelessly seduced by the beautiful widow, Laura Breckenridge, who has an offer many would refuse. Now, on the bottom of Colorado's serpentine Platte River, somewhere in the sunken steamboat Bonnie Blue, a quarter of a million dollars in gold bars awaits one man crazy enough to confront violent river pirates and bushwhackers. However, that's not all. If Sam succeeds in retrieving the gold, he must have the stomach for yet another, even more dangerous challenge: return the precious gold ingots to the impenetrable, heavily guarded Denver Mint. This time, the odds are against him. Is bold Sam Whiskey up to the job? —Nick Riganas