David Huddleston

The movie opens with the opening night (which is also the closing night) of washed-up producer Max Bialystock's (Nathan Lane) latest Broadway endeavor, Funny Boy: A Musical Version of Hamlet. The crowd leaves the theater exclaiming about how awful the show was ("Opening Night"). Later, Bialystock's new accountant, Leopold Bloom (Matthew Broderick), comes to check the books for Funny Boy. Leo's visit is interrupted when Hold-Me-Touch-Me (Eileen Essell), one of Max's elderly backers, stops by to drop off a "checkie" and play naughty games with Max. Leo confesses that he's always wanted to be a producer. However, he's extremely nervous -- he carries his blue baby blanket with him, rubs his face with it when he becomes anxious, and descends into full-blown hysterics when Max takes the blanket away. After calming down and looking at the show's books, Bloom gets an idea and muses that you could make more money with a flop than with a hit, though it would be illegal. Bialystock tries to convince the insecure Bloom to collaborate with him to put on the biggest flop in history, then take the money and go to Rio de Janeiro ("We Can Do It"), but Bloom refuses and goes back to his accounting firm. Leo finds himself unhappy with his job and fantasizes about being a Broadway producer ("I Wanna Be a Producer," a big production number with elaborate sets and chorus girls wearing costumes made of pearls -- a riff on the line "beautiful girls wearing nothing but pearls" from "We Can Do It"). He has an epiphany and quits, returning to Bialystock and agreeing to help him with his flop. They form a partnership, Bialystock & Bloom. Max and Leo search for the worst play ever written and settle on Springtime for Hitler, a "singing love-letter to Adolph Hitler" written by Neo-Nazi Franz Liebkind (Will Ferrell). The lederhosen-wearing Liebkind receives them on his roof, where he raises carrier pigeons. The partners ask him to sign over the rights to produce the show, but first they are coerced into wearing swastika armbands while singing and dancing to "the Führer's favorite tune" and taking the sacred Siegfried Oath ("Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop"). They swear, under penalty of death, to never never never dishonor the spirit or the memory of Adolph Elizabeth Hitler. They then meet the worst director in town, a flamboyant homosexual named Roger DeBris (Gary Beach), and his equally flamboyant assistant Carmen Ghia (Roger Bart). DeBris, claiming that he's going to a costume party, appears in an elaborate sequined evening gown in the style of the Chrysler Building. It takes some persuasion -- and Max and Leo have to meet DeBris' live-in production team, who resemble the Village People -- but at the mention of a Tony Award, DeBris agrees to direct ("Keep it Gay"). DeBris' middle name, as it turns out, is also Elizabeth. Max and Leo return to their office to find Swedish bombshell Ulla Inga Hansen-Bensen-Yanson-Tallen-Hallen-Svaden-Swanson (Uma Thurman) wanting an audition, though none are scheduled. Bialystock allows her to try out anyway ("When You Got it, Flaunt it"), and they hire her as their secretary and cast her. At one point as they're preparing to go out, Leo asks Max if he can wear one of Max's black hats. Max tells him it's a Broadway producer's hat, and Leo can't wear it until he has a show on Broadway. Next, they need to raise the money: two million dollars. Bialystock pimps himself out to every rich old lady he can get his hands on in exchange for the dough ("Along Came Bialy"). Max and Leo return to their office to find that Ulla has painted everything white, from the walls and the furniture to the knickknacks and the telephone. Max leaves and Leo laments the danger that a relationship will distract him from his work, but he allows himself to kiss Ulla anyway ("That Face"). After the kiss, he throws away his blue blanket. Auditions are run by DeBris and his assistant Ghia, with Liebkind, Bialystock, and Bloom observing. During the singing auditions for Hitler, Liebkind flips out over a performance and shows the auditioner how the song is supposed to be sung ("Haben Sie Gehört Das Deutsche Band?"). Max hires Liebkind to play Hitler on the spot. On opening night ("Opening Night (Reprise)"), Leo turns up at the theater with the special Broadway producer's hat, but Max admonishes him not to wear it until the curtain has gone up and come down. Leo wishes everyone good luck, and the others (minus Bialystock) chastise him for breaking the ancient theater taboo while Bialystock invokes bad luck in every way he can think of, from breaking a mirror and walking under a ladder to throwing a black cat in front of people going backstage ("You Never Say Good Luck on Opening Night"). As Liebkind goes backstage there's a loud crash, and he exclaims that he's broken his leg. Desperate, they recast Roger DeBris as Hitler and file into the theater to watch Springtime for Hitler. The audience is horribly offended by the opening number and people begin to walk out. Then Roger DeBris enters as Hitler. After seeing the flamboyant Hitler playing the Nazis for laughs, the crowd views the show as a satire and loves it ("Springtime for Hitler"). Bialystock and Bloom return to the office, distraught at the success of their show. Bloom fishes his blue blanket out of the wastebasket, grabs the two sets of books (one labeled "Show to the IRS," the other "Never show to the IRS") and attempts to go turn himself in, but is stopped by Bialystock. As they tussle, DeBris and Ghia arrive to celebrate. Liebkind, wearing a cast and carrying a crutch and a gun, bursts in shooting and shouting that Bialystock and Bloom must die because they broke the Siegfried Oath. There is commotion, DeBris and Ghia hide in the closet, and Liebkind runs out of bullets. Just as Max thinks he's saved the day by convincing Liebkind that it was the actors who mocked Hitler and therefore Liebkind should go kill them all, the police show up. They arrest Liebkind, who promptly breaks his other leg while trying to escape. Then they find the duplicate sets of books and arrest Bialystock for tax fraud, as Bloom is nowhere in sight. After they all leave, Ulla comes in and finds Bloom hanging on the back of the door. She convinces him to take the money from the safe and run away with her to Rio. In jail, Bialystock gets a postcard from Bloom about how much fun he and Ulla are having in Rio. Bialystock laments his predicament ("Betrayed"). However, Leo and Ulla come to Max's aid in court because Leo realizes that Max, despite being sleazy and manipulative, has been a good friend to him ("'Til Him"). Ulla reveals that she's now Mrs. Bloom ("he wouldn't do it unless we got married!"). Bialystock and Bloom are each sentenced to five years in Sing Sing penitentiary -- the judge (David Huddleston) conveniently ignoring the fact that Bloom is not being tried for anything. ("It breaks my heart to break up such a beautiful friendship, so I won't.") They write and produce a musical in prison ("Prisoners of Love," with piano accompaniment by Liebkind), selling 700% of the ownership shares to the prisoners and prison staff. They're pardoned and released because they lifted the spirits of the other inmates. Bialystock and Bloom take Prisoners of Love to Broadway, where Ulla and chorus girls play the prisoners and Max and Leo's prison buddies sit in the audience in chains. Leo finally gets to wear the producer's hat, and the partners become successful producers ("Leo and Max") of such blockbusters as A Streetcar Named Murray, South Passaic, Maim, and Katz.

Big Enos Burdett (Pat McCormick) is attempting to be elected as Governor of Texas against other candidate, John Coen (David Huddleson). After a figurative and literal "mudslinging" between the two, they are both confronted by the outgoing governor, and given a thorough tongue lashing. As Burdett is leaving the office he overhears the governor yelling at an assistant to take responsibility of transporting a crate of unknown content from Miami to the Republican Party convention in Dallas. Burdett then schemes to pick up the crate and deliver it to the convention. He enlists the help of Bandit (Burt Reynolds) and Cledus (Jerry Reed) to carry out the task. The early parts of the film feature Cledus attempting to convince the Bandit to "do it one last time." Unfortunately, in the time since their previous challenge in the original 'Smokey and the Bandit' film, the Bandit has split from his love-interest "Frog" (Sally Field) and become an alcoholic. The Bandit is said to be "the only man in the world to drink up a Trans Am,". Cledus seeks the help of Frog to encourage the Bandit to sober up and regain his fitness, since Big Enos has raised the stakes of the game to $400,000. Frog abandons her second attempt at wedding Buford T. Justice's son Junior (Mike Henry) to help. She is initially persuaded more by the money than her love for Bandit. She buys him a 1980 Turbo Trans Am "Son of Trigger"... powered by the Turbo 301, by trading in Junior's car. The middle sections of the film feature a madcap race across the United States as the trio once again tries to outrun and outwit Sheriff Justice (Jackie Gleason) and Junior. The team discovers that their cargo is in quarantine for three weeks, and they need to get it to Dallas in three days. When they break into the quarantine area to steal the crate, the mysterious cargo turns out to be an elephant (the mascot of the Republican Party) who they named Charlotte after Snowman remarked that she reminded him of his Aunt Charlotte and even smelled like her, too. When Cledus opens the crate containing the elephant, Charlotte races out, nearly trampling Frog. The Bandit saves the day by doing a backflip onto the elephant's back and riding the elephant out of the quarantine shed. Noticing a splinter was stuck in her foot, the Bandit removes it, and the elephant takes a shine to Bandit. On their way to Dallas, Cledus fears Charlotte is in poor health. They find an Italian doctor, played by Dom DeLuise, in the back of an ambulance stopped at the same gas station as they are. When the doctor, a gynecologist by trade, finds out it is an elephant he has to look at, he freaks out and nearly runs away. As the doctor attempts to refuse helping them, he sees his driver speed away in the ambulance, leaving him stranded. After the Bandit and Cledus bribe him with large amounts of money he gives in and agrees to ride in the truck with the elephant and examine her. Charlotte is later discovered to be pregnant, and eventually gives birth later in the film. As they try to make the Burdett's deadline, the doctor pleads with the Bandit for some time off the road so Charlotte can rest off of her feet. He reluctantly gives in twice, the first time wrapped up by Charlotte, the second time agrees on his own, Frog citing Bandit's desire to regain his lost fame of the past. She grows closer to him as she did in the past film. While at a restaurant, she sees him scribbling on a napkin a picture of Charlotte cradled by suspended netting in order to keep her off of her feet. She becomes furious and leaves. The Bandit follows and she says he does not care about the elephant and when he likes himself again would she then consider seeing him again. He later makes his drawing a reality, in a near drunken stupor. The doctor agrees the idea will work and agrees to press on. Unable to stop the Bandit and Cledus, Justice enlists the help of his two brothers, Reginald Van Justice from Canada, and Gaylord Justice (both also played by Jackie Gleason), from another part of Texas. Justice lures the Bandit into a valley, with a line of Mounties on one hill side, Texas Rangers on the other. Bandit orders Cledus to continue delivering Charlotte to Dallas. Cledus later returns, with a convoy of trucks to help destroy all of the police cars. Charlotte and the doctor watch the action from afar. After the mass destruction of police cars, only Buford, Gaylord, and Reginald come out relatively unscathed. Bandit and Cledus escape the valley by driving across a bridge of tractor trailers. As the Justice's follow, a trailer pulls out resulting in their cars falling down and being destroyed. However, Buford's car is still operable, though folded up in the middle and missing its doors and roof. Justice and Junior are cut off by a farm tractor, and they drive off the road, hitting an embankment by a pond, throwing Junior into the pond. When asked what he was thinking about, Buford simply says, "Retiring." The movie closes with Bandit informing Frog he liked himself again, that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life without her. When she asks about Burdett's bet, he informs her he blew it, and said they could still get there nonetheless, late though. He shows her Charlotte and her baby in circus-like chariots. Frog is overjoyed. Bandit asks Charlotte if it is OK to marry Frog, to which Charlotte responds loudly. They drive away with Charlotte and her baby in tow... and Buford still pursuing them in a bus.

Matt Kirby (Terence Hill) arrives to Miami. He is a drifter who has travelled in a ship hidden with the cargo and has to leg it when he's discovered. Asks for a job as stivadore but is refused in not friendly terms, in spite of being in front of a long list of waiting-to-be-filled jobs, so he wrecks the car of the person who denies him a position. Wilbur Walsh (Bud Spencer) arrives just minutes away from Kirby, and is told the same: or he belongs to the only available union or has nothing to do. He wrecks the new car of the manager. The managers asks for another new car to be brought in. The manager happens to be Fred "Curly" Cline (Luciano Catenacci), a criminal - which it has never been proved. Walsh and Kirby's paths meet while they are running from the police, called because of the wreckage of the cars. They have to make amends and leave the place together. They wreck the third car, this time making the manager do it himself, helped by some of his thugs. Walsh is reluctant even to speak to Kirby, but he pesters him. In fact, he ends up calling the psychiatrict ward telling them that a fat man is about to commit suicide jumping from a bridge. The male nurses arrive with a straight jacket but it's impossible for them to put it on Wilbur Walsh. He punches them and then, sees Matt Kirby looking at the "show". They finally go to a humble diner where they strike conversation with two motorbike road officers who suggest that they join the police force. They seem to agree, but it's just a way to be in good terms with the local police, as they intend to rob a local supermarket, because after so many adventures they have no money or job. They haven't got any weaponry, but Walsh intends to stick out a finger from inside one of his jeans pockets, so that the bulk looks like a gun. However, when they reach the intended location of the robbery, they find out that they have been tricked, and the flat belongs to the police themselves. They sit down as though they are waiting for their turn to be enlisted. The two road officers appear and offer to take them to the place of enlistment, actually saving Walsh and Kirby from ending up in jail themselves. Feeling trapped, they have no other option than to comply and enlist. Capt. McBride (David Huddleston) soon makes Kirby the apple of his eye. The day that their training is finished, McBride says that he won't accept any resignations before six months' time, unless somebody ends up dead in a body bag. Without speaking about it, both Kirby and Walsh decide that their only way is to be such bad police officers that McBride will expel them from the force. The frist thing Kirby does is to bamp onto another car, with such luck that two runaway criminals were inside. One of their workmates suggests to McBride that that was "beginners' luck", but McBride thinks that it's attention and talent for law enforcement. He makes Kirby the patrol boss. Kirby flirts with a Chinese girl, Susy Lee (Laura Gemser), who takes them to her home. She and her father show them the photograph about Susy's disappeared boyfriend. To be dismissed, Kirby and Walsh treat Lieutenant Governor (Edy Biagetti) very roughly because of speed limit surpassing, although he was not resisting. The important man complains to McBride, but that only makes McBride more interested in the new officers, praising them by radio. Walsh and Kirby are becoming the stars of the force in Miami. The criminals have to act: Kirby and Walsh are breaking the status quo. Fred Curly hires Geronimo (Luciano Rossi) to hurt them badly for six months. They don't want Geronimo to kill them because that would anger the whole police body, so it's better to make them need a wheelchair for six months. Geronimo and his thugs (Ottaviano Dell'Acqua, Alex Edlin...) fight Walsh and Kirby in the Miami rugby stadium. Kirby and Walsh win, obviously. After talking to the Chinese man again, they start wondering why they find him everywhere. He advises Walsh "the big dragon" to follow the advise of "the little tiger", but Walsh says that that has only brought him trouble. They find the two patrolmen of the beginning who are jealous of their ascendent on McBride. Through radio, a car breakdown is announced. Walsh doesn't want to go because he's just started a hamburger - he doesn't want to share with Kirby, but when Matt comes back to say that the occupants are two blondes in skimpy clothes, Wilbur runs there. The two blondes are Countess Galina Kochilova (Jill Flanter) and Angie Crawford (April Clough). Galina tells Angie to leave the "big guy" to her, making the audience imply that it's some kind of ambushment. The two ladies flirt with the two police officers. As they behave shamelessly, Wilbur Walsh mends their car fast. Angie tells about the Countess having a mansion in Miami, and invites them for the weekend. Galina cannot smoke the way she thinks countesses should smoke to save her life, so she gets frustrated. A butler Pierre (Emilio Delle Piane) opens the door and asks for Walsh and Kirby's hats, which they found strange. They are ridiculous in their Sunday-like clothes. The two young women appear in bikinis and take the plastic flowers from the two men. The girls go swimming in the pool, which gives Walsh and Kirby time to notice a photograph of Galina with red hair. Both realise the girls are prostitutes, and that they are in the house where there is going to be an ambush, probably organized by Fred Curly. The girls tell Pierre / Piero to make the men drunk during dinner. The two men show their bad table manners at all times. The two men make the girls and Pierre completely drunk, even when the butler says that he is a teetotaller. Bad manners go around the table at that time. Wilbur asks about the photograph, and Galina says that it is the photograph of her sister Princess Lexia, married to General Molotov, a relative of the inventor of the Molotov cocktails. The two police officers are the only sober people. In the morning, they reach the harvour, and they find suspicious movements in the ship cargo. They do not stay with the goods; they follow the leading car, reaching the same warehouse in the harvour from where they were kicked out at the beginning. Another road officer (Duilio Olmi) asks them what they are doing around there. They show them their badge and ask him to stick around just in case. They see a politician with a briefcase knocking the door with a password, and they take notice of it. They use it to enter the place, knocking the doorman down. Probably, the bowling alleys are just the front for some criminal business. Inside, it seems like there is a meeting. Inside the bowls, there are drugs, Fred Curly and some other minor criminals. The Chinese man who died at the beginning probably stole something unbeknowst that it was something much more important and dangerous than what he had thought about. They enter and tell everybody to put their hands up. One of the criminals realises that the guns are unloaded. The 18 criminals run after Kirby and Walsh. Puches come back and forth in the bowling alley. There is a stupid thug (Riccardo Pizzuti) which keeps on coming back to tell their bosses that he's seen some suspicious strangers. At that moment, McBride and many more policemen arrive to detain the criminals. McBride congratulates Walsh and Kirby. McBride tells Kirby to shave for the last time. McBride will let them quit after they have written their report. Kirby and Walsh bring present to the children of the Chinese family. They finally tell them that their relative is dead. They also give them some money for the education of the children. Walsh is angry because he's given all his money to that family. However, McBride asks for blood donations from the A-B Negative group because the two patrolmen of the beginning have been hurt, and they go to assist them.

John Deakin is being transported, as a prisoner, on a train with supplies and medicine to Fort Humboldt, Nevada, so he can help aid the remote garrison of Fort Humboldt. After a sudden outbreak of diphtheria, the authorities dispatch an express train carrying reinforcement soldiers and medical supplies through the frozen West across the Rocky Mountains to aid the remote garrison of Fort Humboldt. Along with the troops, there are also aboard Governor Richard Fairchild; the outpost commander's daughter, Marica; the squad's captain, Major Claremont; the U.S. Marshal, Pearce, and his mysterious prisoner, John Deakin. Indeed, this was supposed to be a routine operation; however, before long, in this confined but well-guarded place, missing officers and unexplained deaths start to shroud the mission with mystery and suspicion, as an unstoppable unknown killer is picking them off one by one. Who is the murderer in their midst? —Nick Riganas When a military outpost is struck with a severe outbreak of diphtheria, the authorities send a train loaded with medical supplies and replacement soldiers. As the train is on its way however, a passenger is murdered. And then two passengers; then the entire human cargo of several cars. John Deakin, a man under arrest and being transported to custody, does some digging to find out the reason for the carnage. —Alfred Jingle

In the American Old West of 1874, construction on a new railroad led by Lyle (Burton Gilliam) runs into quicksand. The route has to be changed, which will require it to go through Rock Ridge, a frontier town where everyone has the last name of "Johnson" (including a "Howard Johnson", a "Dr. Samuel Johnson", a "Van Johnson" and an "Olson N. Johnson"). The conniving State Attorney General Hedley Lamarr (Harvey Korman) wants to buy the land along the new railroad route cheaply by driving out the townspeople. He sends a gang of thugs, led by his flunky assistant Taggart (Slim Pickens), to scare them away, prompting the townsfolk to demand that Governor William J. Le Petomane (Mel Brooks) appoint a new sheriff. The Attorney General persuades the dim-witted Le Petomane to select Bart (Cleavon Little), a black railroad worker who was about to be hanged. (Bart had hit Taggart in the head with a shovel after Taggart ignored him and his black friend sinking in quicksand, deciding to save their handcar instead.) Lamarr believes a black lawman will so offend the townspeople that they will either abandon Rock Ridge or lynch the new sheriff, with either result paving the way for him to take over the town. With his quick wits and the assistance of drunken gunslinger Jim (Gene Wilder), also known as "The Waco Kid" ("I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille"), Bart works to overcome the townsfolk's hostile reception. He defeats and befriends Mongo (Alex Karras), an immensely strong, slow-thinking (but surprisingly philosophical) henchman sent by Taggart and Lyle to kill Bart, and then beats German seductress-for-hire Lili von Shtupp (Madeline Kahn) at her own game. Lamarr is furious that his plans keep failing and decides to destroy Rock Ridge with a newly recruited and diverse army of thugs (which Lamarr characterized as ideally consisting of "rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists"). Bart now has 24 hours to come up with a "brilliant plan to save our town". He gathers the town, along with the railroad workers, 3 miles east of Rock Ridge to build a fake town as a diversion. The workers labor all night to complete their task. The sun rises on a fake town that's a perfect replica, down to the orange roof on Howard Johnson's outhouse. Bart realizes the town has no people in it, so it won't fool Lamarr's villains. Bart orders the townspeople to make "exact replicas of themselves," and leaves with Jim and Mongo to execute a plan that will slow the villains "to a crawl". The three construct a tollbooth labeled "Le Petomane Thruway", requiring Taggart's crew to pay 10¢ each to pass on their horses. ("Now what will that asshole think of next?" snaps Taggart.) Since no one in the raiding party has any change, Taggart sends someone back to town to "get a shitload of dimes". Once through the tollbooth, Lamarr's villains attack the fake town populated with dummies, which Bart boobytrapped with several dynamite bombs. Bart tries setting off the bombs but is unsuccessful as the detonator does not work. Jim is given the task of exploding the bombs, and fires his pistol at them. After the bombs explode, launching villains skyward, the Rock Ridgers attack the villains. The resulting fight between the townsfolk and Lamarr's army of thugs breaks the fourth wall.... literally. The fight spills out from the Warner Bros. film lot into a neighboring musical set being directed by Buddy Bizarre (Dom DeLuise), then into the studio commissary, where a pie fight ensues. Taggart is knocked out when Mongo smashes his head on a cash register, and the fight finally pours out into the surrounding streets (specifically, Olive Avenue in Burbank). The citizens of Rock Ridge chase the villains back to town to destroy them, but Lamarr takes a taxi..... "off this picture." He arrives at Grauman's Chinese Theatre to watch the "premiere" of Blazing Saddles. Unfortunately, he sees on the movie screen that Bart has arrived outside the theatre. Bart ends up killing Lamarr by shooting him in the groin. Bart and Jim then go into the theater to watch the end of the film. The film ends with Bart leaving Rock Ridge, much to the sadness, of the townspeople and the railroad workers, for his work there is done. He intends to fight injustice in other parts of the world, which the townspeople and the railroad workers dismiss as "bullshit", and Bart admits it's simply getting dull around there. As he rides off, he finds Jim (who still has the popcorn that he bought at the theater), and the two decide to go off to "nowhere special." They then hand in their horses to the film crew horse wranglers, and ride off (in a limousine) into the sunset.

Several young draft dodgers head West to their deaths in this fatalistic reworking of OLIVER TWIST set in 1863 America - Jeff Bridges as the Artful Dodger, Barry Brown as Oliver, and David Huddleston as a sort of Fagin.