Dennis Dugan

Darren Silverman (Jason Biggs), Wayne LeFessier (Steve Zahn) and J.D. McNugent (Jack Black), best friends since fifth grade and Neil Diamond fans throughout, form a Neil Diamond tribute band called "Diamonds in the Rough". Wayne was born when his mother's water broke at a Neil Diamond concert and ever since he has had a cosmic connection to Neil Diamond. JD is lactose intolerant and not very bright. Darren is a romantic but very gullible around women. Wayne became the third string Quarterback for his high school football team, and JD became the mascot, while Darren joined the cheer-leading squad. Darren develops a crush for Sandy, who was also on the cheer-leading squad. Coach Norton was their idol through High School. As grown-ups, JD works at Subway. Darren is the social director at a retirement home. Wayne started his own business for pest and rodent removal, but he ends up getting assaulted by the animals. Darren is still alone and wants to be in a relationship. The only woman he loved, Sandy, was from a family of circus performers who left town for new opportunities. Sandy didn't even know that Darren had a crush on her as he never asked her out. Darren meets a beautiful but domineering psychologist, Judith Fessbeggler (Amanda Peet), through a chance encounter in a local bar after a band gig. Judith shows signs of being emotionally abusive when she orders a drink for Darren without even asking his preference. Unfortunately, six weeks into their relationship, Judith is still making Darren watch her change clothes. Darren asks her if they could finally have sex, but Judith refuses until marriage. She suggests non-penetrative sex instead and proceeds to push Darren's head between her legs. Darren gets nothing but a sore jaw. Judith says that she cannot return the favor as she has very sensitive gums and instead gives Darren a magazine and a towel to masturbate. Darren takes Judith to meet his friends. Judith is all snobbish and calls the guys obsession with Neil Diamond as a delusion, projection fantasy. Judith tells Darren that the guys are pigs for their disgusting habits and the lack of personal hygiene. JD insists that Judith sits on his Barcalounger, but the reclining mechanism fails, throwing her right across the room. Judith loses her patience when the guys throw beer at each other after their team scores a touchdown in a game on TV. Judith isolates Darren from his friends, demands that Darren quit the band and torched his Neil Diamond albums, receive humiliating medical procedures (like implant for his butt cheeks) and attend relationship counseling under her care. JD and Wayne talk to Darren that Judith is not the right woman for him, but Darren is too far into serving Judith to be able to see the big picture. Wayne and J.D. decide to save Silverman from her by attempting to bribe her with Wayne's house, arm wrestle her, and shock her with faked photographs of Darren cheating, all to no avail (Judith knows that Darren had no tattoos and the body in the photos had a tattoo on the arm). Judith knows that she controls Darren, and he does everything she says. She refuses to let go of him. The friends, undaunted, try to reunite Darren with his "one and only", Sandy Perkus (Amanda Detmer), when she returns to Seattle to take her final vows as a nun. When Darren and Judith announce their engagement (with Darren committing to taking Judith's last name), Wayne and J.D. kidnap Judith. However, she discovers the identity of her captors, and the duo are convinced they cannot let her go. When they visit Coach Norton (R. Lee Ermey) in jail (who accidentally killed a referee with a football signal pole in a fit of rage), his advice is that they should just kill her. The pair attempt to shoot Judith but end up deciding against it. Sandy's feelings for Darren are reawakened, but the pair's attempted date is ruined by Darren's preoccupation with Judith. Sandy, disheartened, returns to the convent, but Darren snaps out of it and runs the 30 miles there to win her back. Chained to an engine block in J.D.'s basement, Judith convinces J.D. he is gay. She knocks him unconscious to steal his keys and escape, only to be tranquilized with a dart gun by Wayne. Returned to the basement, Judith seduces Wayne into releasing one of her hands, so she escapes again. Judith runs to Darren's house in time to see him kiss Sandy but shames him into confessing his engagement to Judith. Sandy, disheartened, returns to the convent again. Darren has Wayne and J.D. arrested. After escaping from jail with the help of Coach Norton, J.D. and Wayne rush to the convent on the brink of Sandy's final vows as a nun. They convince her that Darren still loves her. They then kidnap Neil Diamond to help Darren and Sandy reunite. At the wedding, Neil stalls the proceedings with song while Wayne and Judith beat each other up (as love play), Darren and Sandy reunite, and J.D. arrives holding Coach in his arms, and Coach asks him when will he get married and J.D. says he's gay and then Coach tells hims he's Gay too. On stage at the Neil Diamond concert that night, the priest weds Darren to Sandy, Wayne to Judith, and J.D. to Coach; the entire cast sings "Holly Holy".

Sonny Koufax (Adam Sandler) is a carefree, unmotivated 32-year-old bachelor who lives in New York City and has declined to take on adult responsibility. He has earned a degree in law but has chosen not to even try to attempt to take the bar exam, since he was awarded $200,000 in a vehicle accident years prior and lives off his restitution. He is employed, on a part-time basis only, as a toll booth attendant and he more or less just does this job just to get out of the apartment once in a while. The film shows Sonny's friends, all former schoolmates, are "moving ahead" in their lives. His roommate, Kevin Gerrity (Jon Stewart), decides to ask Corinne (Leslie Mann) to marry him, which is another thing that irritates Sonny. Kevin decides to pop the question the day before he is leaving for China for his law firm. Corinne vehemently dislikes Sonny because he constantly teases her about her former job at Hooters when she was in medical school. Two of his male friends from school, in contrast to their conduct in Sonny's experience while at school, are now revealed to be homosexual and in a committed domestic partnership. Sonny's girlfriend, Vanessa (Kristy Swanson), disgusted and perplexed at Sonny's contrasting and inconsistent conduct decides to end her romantic relationship with him-and also find a new much older man with more reliability. Sonny quickly becomes occupied with a new series of events in his life. Sonny wakes up to Kevin already at the airport leaving for China. Kevin is revealed to having fathered an illegitimate son, whose name is Julian (Dylan and Cole Sprouse). Julian is abandoned at Sonny and Kevin's apartment, with a written explanation that Julian's mother is now declining to care further for Julian. It is revealed at the Social Services office that Julian's mother died of cancer. Kevin, at the airport ready to go to China, gets a call from Sonny informing him of the letter and the boy. Despite his selfishness and lack of parenting skills, Sonny assures him that he will take care of Julian until Kevin returns from China. Sonny decides to handle the situation himself, and, in the process, decides Julian will solve his problem with his ex-girlfriend. To win Vanessa back, Sonny introduces her to Julian. However, he discovers that she is now dating Sid, whom - despite being much older than her - she reveres as more motivated and intelligent with a "five-year plan". Becoming frustrated with parenting, Sonny poses as Kevin and takes Julian to his social worker Arthur Brooks (Josh Mostel) telling him that Julian should return to his mother. However, Brooks informs Sonny that Julian's mother died of cancer and offers to place Julian into a foster home. After this, Sonny rants about it in a phone call to his father, Lenny, who is shocked and infuriated with Sonny for trying to raise a child, due to his irresponsibility. Sonny, in caring for Julian, soon discovers a new purpose in his life and a deep connection with Julian as a father figure. Julian helps Sonny find a new girlfriend in Corinne's lawyer sister Layla. Brooks finds a foster home for Julian and leaves messages for Sonny, but is suspicious when he does not respond. After a meeting at Julian's school Sonny rethinks his parenting methods after Julian's teacher complains about the habits he has developed due to Sonny's influence. He turns Julian's behavior around. Social Services discovers that Sonny is posing as Kevin and insists that he give up Julian. Social services take Julian and decides to press charges against Sonny. Sonny complies, but contacts Layla to help take legal action. The case is brought to court, where Sonny has his friends as counsel, including Layla (Joey Lauren Adams), Corinne's sister and Sonny's new girlfriend, and late arrival Kevin. Sonny gets positive testimony from his friends-even Corinne, who swore to disliking him from the day they met. Sonny then calls himself to the stand and asks his father to question him. Despite Lenny's fervent belief that he is not father material, Sonny convinces him that he will not fail at being a father. Impressed by Sonny's sincerity, Lenny vouches for him. The judge is ready to sentence him to jail for kidnapping Julian and defrauding the state. At this point, Kevin steps forward as Julian's father and insists that no charges be filed, having remembered a drunken fling with a Hooters girl in Toronto during the 1993 World Series, and connecting that with Julian's earlier testimony of originally coming from Toronto and being born in July. Judge Healy (Carmen De Lavallade) grants Kevin custody pending a DNA test. Sonny promises Julian that although he cannot be his father, he will always be there for him. He then passes Julian to Kevin and the two start to bond. Sonny still maintains contact with Julian through Kevin, often meeting up with him for activities such as basketball. One year, three months, and six days later, Sonny, now a lawyer and married to Layla with a child of their own, is surprised with a birthday party at Hooters attended by all his colleagues and friends, including Julian, but is more surprised to find his ex-girlfriend working as a Hooters girl, and her boyfriend with his so-called five-year plan working the grill.

A clan of ninjas finds an abandoned treasure chest that had been washed onto shore, inside of which was a white infant boy. An ancient legend spoke of a foreigner who would come among the ninja and become a master like no other. The white orphan boy, Haru (Chris Farley), is raised among the ninja, with the expectation that he may be the one of whom the legend speaks. As Haru grows into adulthood, doubts are quickly cast over him for being the great white ninja. Although he does possess some ninja traits, Haru is clumsy and does not really fit in, and fails to graduate a ninja with the rest of his class. Left alone to protect the temple while the clan are on a mission, Haru disguises himself as a ninja when a blonde American woman who comes to seek the services of one. The woman, Sally Jones (Nicollette Sheridan), is suspicious of her boyfriend, Martin Tanley (Nathaniel Parker), and sends Haru to a Tokyo harbor to investigate. Haru finds out that Tanley and his staff, Nobu (Keith Cooke Hirabayashi) are involved in a counterfeiting business and also witnesses a murder. The clan are disappointed with Haru's actions when Tokyo police presume that Haru is responsible for the murder. However, Haru admits that Sally was in trouble, despite her name is a pseudonym. Haru departs from Tokyo to Beverly Hills to search for Sally. Gobei (Robin Shou), Haru's adoptive brother and the best ninja in his class at the beginning of the film, is sent by the clan to watch over and protect Haru. Haru has trouble adjusting to Western culture, but checks in at a Beverly Hills five-star hotel, where he befriends an employee, Joey Washington (Chris Rock), and teaches him some ninja lessons. Haru sets out on his search for Sally, convinced that she is in trouble. Haru eventually finds Sally, but she distances herself from him. Haru tracks Tanley and Nobu to a night club in Little Tokyo, where they are trying to get back a set of counterfeiting plates from their rival gang. Unfortunately, Haru finds himself as the suspect of a second murder. He return to the hotel the next day and meditates to communicate with his Sensei (Soon-Tek Oh) for guidance. Haru resumes his quest, and tracks down Tanley's mansion. Upon entering Tanley's mansion, Haru speaks with Sally, whose real name is Allison Page. He eventually begins to trust her again, and Allison tells Haru that she accused Tanley for killing her sister. That night, Haru and Allison escape a gun-fight at a Japanese restaurant, where Tanley and his henchmen sees Allison there. Haru and Allison have their retreat at the hotel for the night. The next day, Haru disguises himself as ink specialist Chet Walters (William Sasso) and Tanley takes him to his warehouse, where Tanley soon finds out that Haru is "the fat ninja that everyone is talking about". While Tanley is in the process of getting the other half of the plates that night, Allison rescues Haru from the back of Tanley's van. However, Tanley kidnaps Allison during the process, and Haru must find his way back to Tanley's warehouse to rescue Allison, but since he was blindfolded during his first trip, Haru must recreate his ride by memory and enlists his help of Joey and without knowing that Gobei is also hiding in the trunk. After Joey accidentally drives the convertible through a horse race and a car wash, he and Haru start over. Gobei gets out of the trunk after Haru is blindfolded, knocks Joey out, and drives the convertible to Tanley's warehouse. Haru uses the momentum of a large palm tree to jump into Tanley's warehouse, while Gobei also makes it in by using stealthier methods. Haru and Gobei fight Tanley's henchmen until Haru is reminded that he should be rescuing Allison. Using a forklift, Haru smashes two holes in the wall of the room where Tanley takes Allison hostage, almost setting off the bomb. Haru attempts to defuse the bomb, but accidentally resets it for five minutes. Haru leaves Allison for four minutes to help Gobei, who is surrounded by Tanley's henchmen. Haru jumps off the railing and eventually lands on an ax-wielding henchman who attempts to kill Gobei and suddenly becomes an adept ninja when Gobei gets hurt by Nobu and his henchmen. Haru and Gobei defeat one henchman with their little help from Joey, who jumps into Tanley's warehouse and eventually lands on one of them. Haru and Gobei has two minutes to defeat Tanley, who has a gun. Haru cuts the rope of a winch to aim for Tanley, but the hook accidentally knocks out Gobei instead. Blocking Tanley's bullets by swinging his two swords, Haru eventually incapacitates Tanley. He return to the upper level to rescue Allison. Using a huge harpoon gun mounted on a cart, Haru shoots a harpoon through the room and inadvertently lands in the back of a truck where Tanley attempt to escape from his warehouse. After capturing the bomb, the cart lands in Tanley's truck and explodes seconds later. Haru successfully rescues Allison, and Tanley and his surviving henchmen are arrested. In the film's conclusion, Haru talks to his Sensei about returning to Beverly Hills, where they do not have ninjas there. Haru and Allison later ride on the bus, which accidentally drags a rope tied into Gobei's wheelchair. Haru shouts an apology to Gobei, who is thrown into the ocean.