Dick O'Neill

An unconventional cop who takes no bull is paired up with an amazing detective to capture some powerful criminals, but the cop soon realizes that his by-the-book partner has split-personality disorder. Two-fisted savvy cop Mac finds that he's being saddled with a new partner, a known burnout, to work with him on a difficult new case. The new partner is Ellis, an amazing detective who puts Sherlock Holmes to shame with his lightning-fast deductions. Ellis has a couple of problems: he keeps assuming the personalities of entire casts of television shows. This can be a problem when people start shooting at them. —John Vogel <jlvogel@comcast.net>

Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin), a homeless bum, directly addresses the camera and tells his story. Navin is the adopted white son of African American sharecroppers in Mississippi, who grows to adulthood naively unaware of his obvious adoption. The large family lived in a small shack. The family includes mother (Mabel King), father (Richard Ward), brother Taj (Dick Anthony Williams), sister Elvira (Ren Woods), Grandma Johnson (Frances E. Williams) and many more. He stands out in his family not just because of his skin color, but also because of his utter lack of rhythm when his adopted family plays spirited blues music. He is unable to dance in rhythm to the spirited folk songs played by the family, but finds that he can do so perfectly to a champagne-style song on the radio. One night, he hears the staid and starchy Roger Wolfe Kahn Orchestra song called "Crazy Rhythm" on the radio and his feet spontaneously begin to move with the urge to dance. He sees this as a calling (and believes that this is the kind of music that inspires him to go out into the world and be somebody) and decides to hitchhike to St. Louis, from where the song was broadcast. On the way, he stops at a motel, where a dog wakes him up by barking at his door. Navin thinks the dog is trying to warn of a fire and decides to name the dog "Lifesaver." He wakes up all the other hotel guests to rescue them, but when everyone realizes it was a false alarm, one Asian man angrily suggests he call the dog "Shithead," which Navin takes literally. Navin takes a lift from several motorists and eventually reaches St. Louis. Navin gets a job (and a place to sleep) at a gas station owned by Mr. Harry Hartounian (Jackie Mason). Harry pays Navin $1.10 per hour. Navin makes it a habit of sending his savings back home at regular intervals. Over a period of time Harry starts to trust Navin and even leaves him in charge of the gas station when he goes out on date with his wife. A car full of thieves rolls in to buy some gas. Navin says that they have to pay by credit card as he is all alone and the owner has asked him not to expose the cash at the gas station to customers. Navin realizes that the credit card is stolen. Navin calls the cops but then attaches a thick rope to the axle of the car and the other end to the wall of a nearby church. When the thieves realize that they have been made, they try to drive away, bringing down the church wall. He's thrilled to find that he's listed in the local phone book, as his name is "in print" for the first time. Not long after, a gun-wielding lunatic (M. Emmet Walsh) randomly flips through the phone book and picks "Johnson, Navin R." as his next victim. As the madman watches through his rifle scope, waiting for a clear shot, Navin fixes the slippery glasses of a customer, Stan Fox (Bill Macy), by adding a handle and a nose brake. The customer, Stan Fox, is an inventor who promises to try to market the device to split the profits 50/50 with Navin, then departs. Seizing his chance, the crazed sniper tries to kill Navin, but fails, hitting the oil cans in the station window and a soft-drink machine. The lunatic chases Navin to a traveling carnival, where Navin hides out, eventually getting a job with SJM Fiesta Shows as a weight guesser. While employed there, Navin meets an intimidating daredevil biker named Patty Bernstein (Catlin Adams) and has a sexual relationship with her, finally realizing what his "special purpose" (his euphemism for his penis) is for. Later, while operating a miniature railway, he meets a cosmetologist named Marie Kimble (Bernadette Peters) and arranges a date with her. Patty confronts them, but Marie knocks her out. While courting, Navin and Marie walk along the beach and sing "Tonight You Belong to Me", with Navin playing the ukulele and Marie on the cornet. Navin and Marie fall in love, but Marie reluctantly decides to leave him because of his lack of financial security. She writes a note and slips out while Navin is in the bath. Devastated, Navin takes Shithead and travels to Los Angeles. There, the gunman who tried to kill him-now sane and working as a private investigator-tracks him down and gives him a letter from Stan requesting a meeting. His glasses invention, now called the Opti-Grab, is selling big and he's entitled to half of the profits. Stan gives him a check for $250,000 as the first installment on his share of the profits. Now extremely rich, he finds and marries Marie, and they buy an extravagant mansion. Their life becomes one of splendor and non-stop partying. However, motion-picture director Carl Reiner (playing himself) files a class action lawsuit against Navin, claiming that the invention caused his eyes to be crossed and as a result, the death of a stunt driver in the film he was making. Nearly ten million other people have the same complaint (including the judge and prosecution) and are awarded $10 million in damages. Bankrupt, depressed, and now homeless, he abandons Marie and is soon living on the streets. He storms out into the street after yelling at and blaming Marie. Seeing how callous and superficial they've become, Marie wears her tattered dress from the beach, and regrets requiring Navin to be rich. His story now told, he resigns himself to a life of misery and memories of Marie, but to his amazed joy, she suddenly appears, along with Navin's family, and some more good news: Having carefully invested the small sums of money he sent home throughout the film, they've become wealthy themselves. They pick him up off the street, and he and Marie move back home into the Johnsons' new house - a much larger but identical version of their old, small shack. Once again Navin dances on the porch to folk songs, this time with perfect rhythm.

In New York City, four heavily armed men with code names (Mr. Blue, Mr. Green, Mr. Grey, and Mr. Brown), wearing disguises of eyeglasses, fedora hats, and fake mustaches, board at different station stops (the Green Line at 59th Street, Grey Line at 51st Street, Brown Line at Grand Central, and finally Blue Line at 28th Street) on the Pelham 123 subway train run of the 6 Lexington Avenue Local service. The men take the train, securing a group of hostages, whom they isolate in one car of the train, then disconnect this car from the rest of the train. Meanwhile, Lieutenant Zachary Garber (Walter Matthau), a cynical and curmudgeonly yet light-hearted New York City Transit Authority police lieutenant, begins his day by leading four visiting Tokyo Metro directors on a tour of New York's subway command-center. This is interrupted by Blue's radio announcement to the command center that "your train has been taken." Blue (Robert Shaw), the British-accented leader of the hijackers, tells Garber they are demanding a ransom of one million dollars, to be delivered to them within one hour; otherwise they will kill one passenger per minute, starting when the hour has passed. Garber, the sarcastic Lieutenant Rico Patrone (Jerry Stiller), and other transit workers cooperate while trying to guess how the criminals intend to escape the subway tunnel and get away. Various clues soon surface for Garber to figure out, first with his hearing Blue's very distinctive English accent over the radio. It later turns out that Blue was a ruthless British mercenary, and Green (Martin Balsam) is a former transit worker who from time to time sneezes over the radio and is heard by Garber, who responds by saying "Gesundheit." Garber also learns that one of the hostages is an undercover police officer. The mayor finally agrees to pay the ransom at the urging of his deputy mayor. The police dispatch a squad car carrying the ransom money. When the car is wrecked in a collision, Garber daringly bluffs to buy some time, telling the takers that the money already has been delivered to the 28th Street Station and only the walk down the tunnel is delaying it. A reluctant Blue agrees to the delay. A police motorcycle completes the trip from the scene of the collision to the subway station and two unarmed officers are sent down the track on foot to deliver the money to the hijackers. With the money finally in hand, the hijackers demand that electric power be restored to the subway line, and that all signals in the path of the train be turned green from 28th Street to the South Ferry station, both of these being necessary for the car to move. Having overridden the subway car's dead-man's switch, which would otherwise ensure its stopping unless someone remained at the throttle, the hijackers get off the train and set it in motion. As the train starts to move, the undercover officer also jumps off the train and hides between the rails. The car begins to travel faster and faster, since no one is controlling its speed. Outside the tunnel, Garber and Inspector Daniels are convinced that the runaway train is a diversion and that the hijackers must have left the train. The hijackers divide the ransom money, discard their disguises, and start their escape into the tunnel's emergency exit; however, Grey refuses to leave his gun behind as agreed and is shot dead by Blue. The undercover officer, still hiding in the tracks, manages to kill Brown with one shot. Green escapes onto the street. Garber arrives after Green has gotten away and, drawing on Blue, orders him to surrender just as Blue is about to shoot the undercover officer. Blue asks Garber if the death penalty is available in the state of New York anymore. Told that it is not, Blue responds, "Pity", then promptly electrocutes himself by stepping onto the third rail while a horrified Garber watches. Entering the South Ferry Loop, the runaway car finally encounters a red signal. The car's emergency brakes are tripped and it grinds to a halt; the remaining hostages are all safe. Green, the only hijacker to escape, has left as a clue only Garber's surmise that one of the hijackers must be an ex-motorman of the New York Transit Authority (owing to the hijackers' knowledge of the car's operation). With the dead three all identified, Garber realizes that the hijacker still at large must be the former transit employee. Garber and Patrone, working their way through a list of former motormen "discharged for cause" (and, by implication, disgruntled), pay a visit to Harold Longman. Longman, known to the audience as Mr. Green, is shown rolling in the packs of ransom money on the bed in his seedy efficiency apartment when Garber and Patrone knock on his door. He hides the money quickly, then opens to the officers and bluffs his way through their questioning. The officers find Longman's alibi weak, but start out the door, until Longman sneezes and Garber says "Gesundheit." Garber then re-opens the door, the expression on his face in the door opening (the film's final frame) telling the audience that he knows he has just found the final hijacker.