Dyan Cannon

In 1982 Brooklyn, a boy named Charlie Carbone is about to become the stepson of a crime boss named Salvatore Maggio (Christopher Walken). The mobster's juvenile delinquent apprentice Frankie Lombardo (Michael Shannon) tries to drown Charlie (he throws a long pass at the beach into the water and asks Charlie to retrieve the ball, when Charlie didn't know how to swim), but a boy named Louis Booker (Anthony Anderson) saves him and they become best friends. That was the only day Louis got Charlie out of trouble.. For the rest of his life Louis reminds Charlie that he saved his life and gets him into trouble. Twenty years later, in 2002, Charlie (Jerry O'Connell) now runs his own beauty salon and Louis still remains his best friend, but Sal's henchmen take a majority (80%) of the salon's profits, leaving Charlie very little for improvements. After they botch the job of hiding some stolen television sets (This was Louis's deal and he wanted Charlie's help to hide the TVs before he can make the delivery), resulting in the discovery of Sal's warehouse (after being chased by the police, only 5 sets remain intact which Louis takes to Sal's warehouse, and are followed by the police in a helicopter) and the arrest of at least one of his men, Sal gives Charlie and Louis one more chance. Under instructions from Frankie, they are to deliver a package to a man named Mr. Smith (Marton Csokas) in Coober Pedy, Australia. Frankie also warns them against opening the package "under any circumstances" and to call Mr. Smith at the phone number he gives them should they run into any trouble. Unknown to Charlie and Louis, however, Sal tells his Capo (Tony Nikolakopoulos) that he is "canceling their return trip." On the plane, Louis opens the package, against Frankie's warnings, to find $50,000 in cash. Upon landing in Australia (Charlie is so afraid that he is strip searched by the customs, but luckily Louis had taken the envelope and hid inside his jacket), they rent a Land Cruiser and head to Mr. Smith. Along their way, they accidentally run over a red kangaroo. Thinking it is dead, Louis puts his "lucky jacket" on the kangaroo and with Charlie's sunglasses to pose for photographs as a joke, as he thinks the kangaroo looks like "Jackie Legs", one of Sal's henchmen from Canarsie. The kangaroo then suddenly regains consciousness and hops away with one problem; the $50,000 was in the jacket. Charlie and Louis get into their car and try to reclaim the money from the jacket on the kangaroo, but the ensuing chase ends with the duo crashing through a field of termite mounds and then into a pile of rocks, wrecking the car. At a pub in Alice Springs, Louis manages to call Mr. Smith and tries to explain their situation. Mr. Smith, however, thinks they stole his package and threatens to kill Louis and Charlie, telling him that they had better have the money ready when he meets them, or he'll "chop them into snags and feed them to the crocodiles"; he then plans to find them himself. Smith tracks the number to the bar from where Louis called him. Back in New York City, Sal gets the call from Mr. Smith saying that Charlie and Louis haven't arrived; Sal then sends Frankie and some men to Australia to investigate. Meanwhile, Charlie and Louis attempt to reclaim the money from the kangaroo by shooting it with a tranquilizer dart from a biplane (Louis had met a girl Jessie from the wildlife foundation, who gave him this idea after hearing his story). The attempt fails when Louis accidentally shoots Blue (Bill Hunter) the pilot and strands the trio in the desert. Louis asks Blue to point them to the nearest wildlife foundation center, hoping that they run into Jessie. They spend many hours wandering in the desert, during which Charlie hallucinates about a jeep, and they soon meet a woman from the Outback Wildlife Foundation called Jessie (Estella Warren), who Louis previously met in Alice Springs. Thinking she is only a mirage, Charlie grabs her breasts and she knocks him out with her canteen. While unconscious, Charlie dreams about meeting a speaking, rapping version of the kangaroo, while Sal and Louis mock him in kangaroo forms. Meawhile Blue stayed with the plane and tried to fix his radio. He gets it working, but his location is heard by Mr Smith, who then severs the connection. Smith gets to Blue and finds where Louis and Charlie are headed. The following day, the trio get on camels (Jessie agrees to help them when Charlie offers a $2000 grant to her foundation. Louis had told her that the Kangaroo had their passports, and nothing about the $50K) then track the kangaroo at the nearby Todd River and try again to catch it with bolas (They cover themselves to mud to cover their human scent and get close to the Kangaroo), but Louis accidentally botches their attempt when a swarm of ants crawls up his pants. While waiting for the next opportunity to catch the kangaroo, Charlie begins developing feelings for Jessie, which she claims not to return at first, but he senses that she is lying. The next day, Mr. Smith and his henchmen arrive and capture the trio. Smith takes Jessie with him to track the Kangaroo, and orders his men to kill Charlie and Louis. Charlie and Louis turn the tables (Louis cuts their ropes by taking a scissor hidden in Charlie's pockets) and outsmart them, only to find Frankie has tracked them and is prepared to kill Smith, Charlie and Louis. Just as he is about to however, the kangaroo suddenly returns causing a fist fight between Mr. Smith's henchmen and Frankie's crew, who outmatch them. The distraction allows Charlie, Louis, and Jessie to escape on their camels. A final three-way chase ensues, with Charlie, Louis and Jessie chasing after the kangaroo while being pursued by Frankie and his goons. Louis finally manages to retrieve the money from the kangaroo but ends up nearly falling down a cliff and is narrowly saved by Charlie and Jessie. After getting the money back, Charlie tries to hand it over to Frankie once and for all, but the latter angrily declines and reveals that Sal really sent them to Australia to pay for their own execution at the hands of Mr. Smith much to the shock of Charlie and Louis. Out of nowhere, the police force led by an undercover cop Mr./Sgt. Jimmy Inkamale (David Ngoombujarra) arrive and arrest Frankie, Mr. Smith, and their respective henchmen. Charlie and Louis call each other true friends, and Charlie reclaims Louis' lucky jacket from the kangaroo (it was proven lucky as otherwise they would have delivered the money to Smith and ended up dead), who turns out to have a family. One year later, Charlie and Jessie are married and have used Sal's $50,000 to start a line of new hair care products bearing a kangaroo logo, and Louis has become Charlie's advertising partner. Frankie, Mr. Smith, and their men have been imprisoned for life as has Sal who has failed at using his high-level connections to avoid arrest as mentioned in Charlie's narration where the newspaper states that he is currently on trial. The kangaroo, now called "Kangaroo Jack", is still happily living in the outback. Now able to speak again, Jack breaks the fourth wall, explaining why the film should end with him and closes it with his version of Porky Pig's famous catchphrase "That's all, blokes!"

When a crass new-money tycoon's membership application is turned down at a snooty country club, he retaliates by buying the club and turning it into a tacky amusement park. Jack Hartounian, a self-made man is trying to get into Bushwood County Club because his daughter is being asked by her snooty friends. Jack applies, but a couple things ruin his application: one being that he's extremely boorish and the other is that he is building low-cost housing in an affluent neighborhood. Jack then turns to Ty Webb, who owns the majority share of the club; Jack buys Ty's shares, takes over the club, and makes some changes which the members don't like. That's when the club members attack Jack by stopping his housing project. Eventually they decide to settle it on the golf course, but the club president decides to take contingencies. —rcs0411@yahoo.com After the reckless wager in Caddyshack (1980), Kate Hartounian, and her unrefined real-estate developer father, Jack, apply to join the elitist Bushwood Country Club, only to find themselves kicked out. As a result, much to the horror of the club's haughty president, Chandler Young, and his equally snotty wife, Cynthia, the self-made millionaire realises that the only way to join the exclusive golf club is by buying it. Now, as if that weren't enough, Jack intends to turn the once-prestigious Bushwood into the gaudiest miniature-golf park in America. Will a climactic face-off settle their differences once and for all? —Nick Riganas Kate Hartounian is a young girl with a snotty rich friend who wants Kate and her father, Jack, to become members at a high-class golf club. Everything is going fine until the current members meet Jack. His application to join is rejected. In retaliation, Jack buys the rights to the club and turns it into an amusement park-type golf club. In order to settle things once and for all, the two sides face off in a golf match. —Anonymous

Philippe Douvier (Robert Webber), a major businessman and secretly the head of the French Connection, is suspected by his New York Mafia drug trading partners of weak leadership and improperly conducting his criminal affairs. Due to this, Douvier's signature Gannet transaction is in jeopardy as New York believes that he does not have the power to control the situation. To demonstrate otherwise, Douvier's aide Guy Algo (Tony Beckley) suggests a show of force with the murder of Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau (Peter Sellers). Clouseau is the most important man in France, a nemesis for criminal organization all over the world, and someone that the mafia would be happy to get rid of. Clouseau has already survived 16 assassination attempts, including 2 from his own boss. Unfortunately for Douvier, his first attempt at bombing him fails. The bomb destroyed half a city block and yet Clouseau survives. Clouseau informs the police commissioner (Douglas Wilmer) that the bomb was meant for him. The commissioner tells Clouseau about Claude Russo, a criminal who dresses as a woman and has conducted 4 armed robberies in 3 weeks. Clouseau sets the commissioner's office on fire with his clumsiness. The subsequent attempt by Chinese martial artist 'Mr. Chong' (an uncredited appearance by the founder of American Kenpo, Ed Parker) is thwarted when Clouseau successfully fights him off, believing him to be his (Clouseau's) valet Cato (Burt Kwouk) who has orders to keep his employer alert with random attacks. That night, Douvier poses as an informant and calls Clouseau at his resident, to lure Clouseau into a trap, but the Clouseau's car and clothes are stolen by transvestite criminal Claude Russo (Sue Lloyd) (who took a lift from Clouseau when he was on his way to meet Douvier). Russo is subsequently killed by Douvier's men. Douvier's men had set up a diversion further up the road. When Russo follows the car, he is hit by machine gun bullets and ends up driving the car into a telephone pole. Upon collision, the car bursts into flames and Russo's body is charred beyond recognition. Subsequently Douvier and the French public believe Clouseau is dead. The President declares a day of mourning and all the Government buildings fly their flags at half-mast in Clouseau's honor. As a result of this assumption, Clouseau's former boss, ex-Commissioner Charles Dreyfus (Herbert Lom), is restored to sanity and is to be released from the lunatic asylum to perform the investigation in Clouseau's death. The police commissioner says that only Dreyfus knows Clouseau well enough to conduct the investigation into his death. In Russo's clothes and insisting on his true identity, Clouseau is taken to the asylum himself (featuring a cameo by Andrew Sachs, whose character apparently believes himself to be Hercule Poirot, the greatest detective in all of France). Clouseau is given 90 days of psychiatric examination, but he escapes into Dreyfus' room, who faints from the shock of seeing Clouseau alive. He commissioner tells Dreyfus that perhaps the man he saw in the closet was Claude Russo, which reassures Dreyfus that Clouseau is indeed dead. Clouseau manages to disguise himself as Dreyfus and is taken home by operative Francois (Andre Maranne). Clouseau is thrilled to learn that the Pope himself might be in attendance at his funeral. At home, Clouseau finds Cato, who, despite having turned Clouseau's apartment into a Chinese-themed brothel (customer recite a password to gain entry and the password is "Inspector Clouseau"), is relieved to see he survived and the two plan revenge on the sponsor of Clouseau's assassination. Cato claims that he needed something to keep himself busy and the brothel was going to make $300-400K per year. Meanwhile, Dreyfus is assigned to read a eulogy at Clouseau's funeral by the police chief's wife, on pain of his own discharge. The commissioner says that the PR people would love the angle of the story and the wife of the head of the police department wrote the speech. So, Dreyfus has no choice. During his recital, Dreyfus barely controls his mirth at the praise of Clouseau, but his reaction is disguised by his tears of muffled laughter. Later, at the graveside ceremony, Clouseau sneaks in disguised as a church official and then surreptitiously reveals himself to Dreyfus. Upon recognizing Clouseau, Dreyfus faints and falls into the burial pit. Douvier's wife Therese (Adrienne Corri) eventually threatens him with divorce for his unfaithfulness with his secretary Simone (Dyan Cannon). Needing her respectability, Douvier tells his secretary and paramour Simone LeGree that their relationship is over, to which Simone reacts angrily. Fearing that she will reveal his crimes, Douvier gives orders to have Simone killed at her nightclub; but having been told by an informant Fernet (Alfie Bass) of the possibility of trouble there, Clouseau and Cato inadvertently manage to save her. At Simone's flat, Clouseau reveals his identity, prompting her to reveal that Douvier ordered Clouseau's assassination. Attacked by more hit men, Clouseau and Simone escape into Dreyfus' flat, coincidentally located nearby. Fleeing Douvier's henchmen, Simone tells Clouseau of Douvier's plan to meet the New York Mafia godfather Julio Scallini (Paul Stewart) in Hong Kong for the Gannet Transaction - a $50,000,000 heroin sale. Dreyfus overhears Simone telling Clouseau of Douvier's plan, but again faints when he beholds Clouseau. Clouseau, Cato, and Simone follow Douvier to Hong Kong in disguise, unaware that Dreyfus has also arrived. Dreyfus wants to use the opportunity to finally get one up to Clouseau & redeem his own career. Clouseau impersonates Scallini in a ridiculous gangster disguise, while Simone distracts the real godfather. One of Scallini's men spots Douvier leaving their hotel with a stranger, and Clouseau exposes his own disguise during the Gannet Transaction. A car chase begins, ending in a crash at the Hong Kong docks, where Dreyfus recognizes Clouseau and pursues him into a firework warehouse. Inside, Dreyfus mistakenly sets the fireworks off and the resulting explosions sow chaos among all the participants, which eventually leads to the arrests of Douvier and Scallini. Clouseau is honored for their capture by the President of France, and he and Simone spend an evening together.

Following a knee injury, Joe Pendleton, a Los Angeles Rams second-string quarterback, practices with the team as the managers and coach comment repeatedly on his good form. Away from the football field, he focuses on fitness and relaxes by playing the saxophone. On Joes birthday, Max Corkle, a Rams trainer and Joes good friend, drops by his home with a cake and informs him that the coach wants Joe to start the game against the Dallas Cowboys instead of Tom Jarrett. Joe steps up his training, but while bicycling through a tunnel he is hit by a van. With saxophone in hand, Joe arrives at a way station to Heaven accompanied by The Escort, a celestial assistant who instructs Joe to board an aircraft for his final destination. Joe refuses, believing it is only a dream. Delicately, the archangel man in charge, Mr. Jordan, explains that this place represents the afterlife, but Joe is convinced that his death is a mistake. After verifying Joes status, a clerk announces that Joe isnt due to arrive until the year 2025, and The Escort, a rookie, admits that he pulled him away before the outcome of the collision. Since Joes body has already been cremated, Mr. Jordan says that in order for him to return to life, Joe must occupy the body of another man, as long as that mans death has not yet been discovered. Mr. Jordan and Joe proceed to scout for possible candidates. At the estate of Leo Farnsworth, a millionaire industrialist, they observe the scheming of his wife Julia Farnsworth and Tony Abbott, Farnsworths assistant. Julia and Abbott are having an affair, and they have left Farnsworth to drown in the bathtub after drugging him. Meanwhile, Betty Logan, a schoolteacher, arrives at the mansion to insist on meeting with Farnsworth about his refinery that will force the eviction of families in her hometown of Pagglesham, England. Joe is immediately smitten with Betty and wants to help her. Until they find a more athletic candidate, Mr. Jordan agrees to let Joe inhabit the body of Farnsworth temporarily. In the upstairs bathroom, Joe assumes his new identity, but only sees himself in the mirror. Mr. Jordan assures him that even though Joe can only see himself as the internal person of Joe Pendleton, others will see and hear him as Leo Farnsworth. Dressed in polo attire, Joe listens while Betty objects to the plans of Farnsworths Exo-Grey Industries. Upon seeing her husband alive, Julia screams hysterically, and Abbott quickly drags her away. Betty is confused by Joes lack of concern for his wifes outburst, and is also annoyed when Joe claims that he is not really Leo Farnsworth. Believing that he is taunting her, Betty angrily walks away, but warns him that she will be at the next company board meeting. While Joe studies Farnsworths business, Julia and Abbott wait nervously, unsure if he is plotting revenge for the murder. On the way to the board meeting, Joe invites reporters and Betty to join him. Everyone in the room is dumbfounded when Joe passionately compares Exo-Greys winning position to that of a football team that must protect its lead and do the right thing by not exploiting others. That evening, after Betty visits Farnsworth to compliment him on his courage in front of the board, Joe takes her out to dinner at a drivein restaurant. Inside the limousine, Joe confides that he cannot stop staring at her, and Betty admits that she sees something special in his eyes. As they are saying goodbye, Joe declares his plan to divorce Julia. With a new motivation, Joe tells The Escort that he wants to remain in Farnsworths body and get it into shape for football. That evening, despite rigging a heavy fixture above his bed, Julia and Abbott once again fail to murder Farnsworth. The following day, Max arrives at the estate and listens with skepticism while Joe explains that he wants to try out for the Rams quarterback and pay Max to be his trainer. Max is reluctant to jeopardize his reputation with the Rams by entertaining the whims of a millionaire. After initially seeming like at lunatic, Joe is finally able to persuade Max that he is really Joe Pendleton by playing the saxophone badly, as only Joe could. The estate immediately becomes a football training camp. After working out with the butlers of the mansion, Joe takes the next step by purchasing the Los Angeles Rams. During a locker room meeting, the players grumble when told that the new owner Farnsworth will be the quarterback in a scrimmage game and instructed to not hold back with him. At first, Joe receives no help from his offensive line and is repeatedly sacked. But, after requesting one chance to complete a play, he makes a successful pass and continues to display his skills for the rest of the practice, earning the respect of the players and defying the doubters on the sideline. Sometime later at the estate, Joe and Betty attend a gathering of The Ecology Club on the garden lawn. Watching from her bedroom window with Abbott, Julia still thinks that Farnsworth is plotting against them, and contemplates another murder. After strolling together on the property, Joe asks Betty to marry him. Just as Betty responds with excitement, The Escort interrupts Joe with the news that he must abandon Farnsworths body. Unsure what will happen to him, Joe asks Betty to remember what she saw in his eyes. Before she leaves, he embraces her and says, Theres nothing to be afraid of. Mr. Jordan visits to reiterate that he cannot change what is meant to be and that Joe must leave Farnsworths body, but Joe refuses, intent on playing in the Super Bowl and being with Betty. At that moment, Abbott shoots Joe from the bedroom window, and Joe tumbles into a well. No longer in Farnsworths body, Joe emerges from the well with his saxophone and has no choice but to follow Mr. Jordan back to Heaven. Farnsworths disappearance becomes front-page news, and Krim, the police detective in charge, gathers together the staff along with Max, Betty, Julia, and Abbott for questioning at the estate. Meanwhile, the Super Bowl between the Rams and the Pittsburgh Steelers is underway at the Los Angeles Coliseum, and Max is anxious to be there, so Krim lets him watch the game on television during the proceedings. Concerned for Betty, Joe is present in the room alongside Mr. Jordan. When the Rams quarterback, Tom Jarrett, is seriously hurt and taken off the field on a stretcher, Mr. Jordan transports Joe to the game. Mr. Jordan explains that it is Toms destiny to die at this time. Joe moves toward Toms body and occupies it, springing off the stretcher and onto the field. Watching this sudden recovery on television, Max realizes that it must be Joe. At the same time, the gardener runs into the room with Farnsworths jacket that he found in the well, which prompts Julia to scream that Abbott is the murderer, and he in turn points the finger at her. In overtime, Joe leads the Rams to a Super Bowl victory. During the celebration in the locker room, Mr. Jordan appears before Joe declares that Joe now has a permanent body in Tom Jarrett and he will no longer remember Joe Pendleton, or any of the events that happened, but he will now live out the rest of his life as Tom Jarrett with all of Tom's memories, while Joe's memories of his past life and all about Mr. Jordan and Heaven will be forgotten forever. Later that evening, Joe doesnt recognize the saxophone, and thinks Max has drunk too much champagne when he calls him Joe. Max finally realizes that Joe as he knows him no longer exists. As Joe/Tom exits through a stadium hallway, Betty enters looking for Max. After giving her directions, Joe/Tom wonders if they have met before. Betty says she doesnt know him, but she has a connection to football through her close friend, Leo Farnsworth. When the lights of the hallway are switched off, Joe/Tom assures Betty that theres nothing to be afraid of and guides her out the door. Betty is touched by what he said, recalling her last conversation with Farnsworth. Joe/Tom asks her out for coffee, and when Betty realizes that he is the quarterback, she says yes at once.

A year after Sheila is killed by a hit-and-run driver, her wealthy husband invites a group of friends to spend a week on his yacht playing a scavenger hunt mystery game. The game turns out to be all too real and all too deadly. Sheila Green (Yvonne Romain) is killed in a hit-and-run car accident while walking home from a party one night. A year later, her multi-millionaire husband Clinton (James Coburn) invites a group of friends (James Mason, Raquel Welch, Dyan Cannon, Richard Benjamin, Joan Hackett, Ian McShane) to spend a week with him on his yacht. Clinton loves to play elaborate games and he assigns everyone a secret--one is an alcoholic, another an informer and so on--that they are not to share with anyone. Every day for the next six days, they will call into a port where they will be given clues to discover one person's secret. The game takes a deadly twist when a murder takes place and it all has to do with the game they have been playing and the secrets that Clinton assigned at the outset. —garykmcd Megalomaniacal movie producer Clinton (James Coburn) invites six acquaintances on a week-long cruise on his yacht, the Sheila, named after his late wife, Sheila Green (Yvonne Romain). All are B-list Hollywood types looking for their next project. On board, they play a game that Clinton calls "The Sheila Green Memorial Gossip Game". The game quickly changes when some of the guests figure out Clinton's real motivations. —Huggo

Released after ten years in prison, Duke Anderson decides to steal from every apartment in a luxurious Manhattan building, unaware that he is being video taped throughout.

While awaiting the outcome of her husband's surgery, Julie Messinger discovers he has been having affairs. Julie Messinger has it made. She is a New York housewife whose husband, Richard, is an editor for a prominent photography magazine. They have a small circle of friends, including well-meaning, but inept Dr. Timothy Spector, photographer Cal Whiting and Cal's live-in girlfriend Miranda. Julie's mother spends her days getting pedicures and manicures, applying make-up and fake eye-lashes and buying expensive clothes, all the while criticizing her daughter for her looks and behavior. When Richard goes into the hospital for a minor mole-removal surgery, Julie gets more than she bargained for. Richard suffers from complications and goes into a coma, supposedly caused by a rare surgical factor, and she gathers friends and family together, culminating in a hilarious "quasi-cocktail-party" scene in the blood donation center of the hospital. While dealing with red tape, hospital bureaucracy and clueless doctors, Julie discovers her husband's "little black book," which contains the names of her friends. She confirms that her husband had been sleeping around and proceeds to make a fool out of him by getting it on with his male friends. When the complications get more ominous, guilt opens the door to her liberation as a woman. A scathingly funny examination of the dirty rich partying while one of their number lies on the brink of death. —thustlebird