The Master of Disguise
In Palermo, Italy in 1979, Fabbrizio Disguisey (James Brolin), is the latest in a long line of Italian secret agents known as "Masters of Disguise". The family has been practicing the art for several centuries and have used their skills to protect the world from evil. Fabbrizio barely avoids getting caught while breaking up an ancient artifacts smuggling ring run by the evil Devlin Bowman (Brent Spiner) while disguised as Bo Derek. Bowman goes to jail and Fabbrizio decides it best to keep his family's identity a secret from his infant son, Pistachio (Dana Carvey), as he believes that this life is too dangerous. 23 years later, Fabbrizio runs an Italian restaurant in America with his unnamed wife "mama" (Edie McClurg) and Pistachio working as, respectively, the cook and a waiter. Thanks to his yet-untold family heritage, Pistachio has a tendency to mock people at random, doing perfect but annoying and badly timed impersonations. Pistachio has a natural talent for disguises and constantly practices his covers in front of the mirror, especially with wearing underwear on his head. Pistachio is also looking for a wife, but his nerdy demeanor makes him unlikable to women, as well as a target for bullies, like fellow waiter Rex (Jay Johnston). Pistachio's ex-flame Sophia is now going out with Rex. Pistachio feels that his destiny is far away, but Fabbrizio convinces him that his destiny is in being a waiter in their family restaurant. One night, Devlin Bowman, fresh out of jail, kidnaps Fabbrizio and "Mama", forcing the former to use his Disguisey powers to steal legendary artifacts like the U.S. Constitution and the Liberty Bell. Meanwhile, Pistachio is visited by his unnamed grandfather (Harold Gould), who reveals Pistachio's heritage and begins training him in the ways of becoming a Master of Disguise. Grandfather says that the Disguisey's have used their powers to catch thieves, save environment, and even get George Washington elected President (as he was a boring speaker). Grandfather hands Pistachio a handbook on the art and science of being a Master of Disguise. In the attic Pistachio and Grandfather find Fabbrizio's nest, which had all the hardware needed for any disguise. Grandfather also tells Pistachio about Energico, an energy field, that binds all Disguisey's from the past to the present. He teaches Pistachio to tap into the Energico to get words, skills, ideas that are considered impossible. The mantra is "Become Another Person". Eventually, Pistachio gets the basics of the Disguisey (Grandfather says that Pistachio is level 1 out of 7000) and his grandfather gets him an assistant, the gorgeous Jennifer Baker (Jennifer Esposito), who is a little confused about what the job entails. She takes the job as it pays $417 per week plus dental. With this Grandfather leaves Pistachio and asks him to use his skills to find his parents. Pistachio and Jennifer search the area where Fabbrizio was kidnapped and find one of Bowman's cigars, which is emblazoned with the symbol of the "Turtle Club". Pistachio disguises himself as a man who dresses and acts like a turtle. They manage to learn Bowman's name and scheme, as well as that he'll be at an antiques fair the next day. Jennifer basically does all the work, and Pistachio just stands around looking silly. Jennifer has a boyfriend named Trent, who hates her son Barney, while pretending to love him. Pistachio, on the other hand, cares for Barney and encourages him to follow his dreams. Pistachio and Jennifer go to the fair, the former disguised as an elderly woman named Gammy Num-Nums. They meet Bowman, who invites Jennifer to a party at his house. Pistachio goes to the party disguised as Tony Montana and distracts Bowman while Jennifer looks for clues about Pistachio's parents. Though she gets it, Pistachio causes so much trouble that he's forced to abandon Jennifer when Bowman sends his men after him. Pistachio loses the henchmen by disguising himself as shark-hunter Quint. He uses other disguises, like Bavarian tax agent Constable Mueller and British secret agent Terry Suave, to get Jennifer to safety. That night, Pistachio and Jennifer look through the clues at a local restaurant, and they deduce that Bowman has forced Fabbrizio to go back to his disguising ways to steal the treasures for Bowman. While there, they find Jennifer's boyfriend Trent (Mark Devine) out on a date with Pistachio's old flame, Sophia (Maria Canals). Pistachio then ends up slapping Trent into submission, then leaving with the love-struck Jennifer. Bowman's men kidnap Jennifer as soon as they arrive back at her home. Her son, Barney (Austin Wolff), whom Pistachio has befriended, finds him talking with his grandfather via hologram and a plan is formed. Pistachio, disguised as a cherry pie, breaks into Bowman's house and stops the auction. But even after defeating Bowman's ninja army, Bowman has one final trick up his sleeve. He has attached a mask of his own face to Fabbrizio's head, making him appear to be Bowman. While the real Bowman escapes, Pistachio is forced to fight his father. In the end, Pistachio helps his father snap out of it, they free "Mama", return the artifacts, Pistachio marries Jennifer, and becomes an official Master of Disguise. However, there is one final thing to deal with -- Bowman still has the Constitution. Luckily, the Disguiseys find him in Costa Rica. Disguised as George W. Bush, he, along with Fabbrizio and his grandfather, defeat Bowman once and for all.
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