Gerry Bednob

David Wozniak (Vince Vaughn) is a hapless deliveryman for his family's butcher shop, pursued by thugs to whom he owes $80,000. David invested in a company called NewTech with the borrowed money, whose owner was later arrested on unrelated charges. David works for his father Mikolaj (Andrzej Blumenfeld), who doesn't think very highly of him. Aleksy (Bobby Moynihan) & Victor (Simon Delaney) are David's brothers. Mikolaj wanted to make sure that David had the jerseys for the basketball team they are sponsoring as that evening was the team photo shoot. David insists that he had the jerseys even though he didn't. He picks the jerseys and stores them in his delivery truck, but then the truck is towed away as David had too many parking violation tickets throughout the city. As a result, the team photo that night is without the jerseys, again giving Mikolaj a reason to think less of David. David approaches some bank for a loan, but none of them would lend him any money without a collateral. David has to grow pot at his home to be able to have some way of paying back the borrowed money. David's girlfriend Emma (Cobie Smulders) is pregnant with his child. Emma is not happy with David as David is not involved with her life and doesn't call her for many days at a time. David did not even know that Emma was pregnant till one day he knocked on her door at 3 am at night, with flowers that he picked from her neighbor's front yard. David admits to his friend Brett (Chris Pratt) that he is ready to have a child. Brett has 4 kids of his own and strongly discourages David from going down the same path. Brett says that David does not have the skills to be a father, but David says that he needs discipline and direction, that fatherhood can provide. One day, David returns from work to find a lawyer Mark Williams (Damian Young) from the sperm bank where he gave sperm donations 693 times over a period of 33 months and earned a sum of $24,255 during his student years. The lawyer tells him he had fathered 533 children. Due to complications at the clinic the doctor gave David's sperm, to all of his female clients. Of those, 142 have joined a class action lawsuit to force the fertility clinic to reveal the identity of "Starbuck", the alias he had used. The kids are contesting that Starbuck's right to privacy is secondary to their right to know who their biological father is. David's friend and lawyer Brett represents him as he tries to keep the records sealed. Brett's licensed had lapsed, so he has to visit the bar association to get it reinstated. This alarms David who considers getting a real lawyer to represent him. Brett provides David with profiles of each party to the lawsuit: David stalks them, finding moments for random acts of kindness. He finds that one of his kids turned out to be a star professional basketball player named Andrew Johansson. This encourages him to look at the profiles of his other kids & help them in their lives. He visits his second child Josh (Jack Reynor) who is a bartender at a barista but really wants to be an actor. So, David volunteers to take care of the Barista while the kid goes & acts in plays & makes his career as an actor. Josh is fired from his job, when the owner come by and finds David at the bar, but Josh gets the acting job. He finds the profile of a girl named Kristen (Britt Robertson) & gives her a visit to find that her boyfriend bailed on her with rent money & that she has overdosed on drugs. The hospital wants her in a rehab program, but she begs David to let her be released so that she can join her job at Bloomingdale's. David believes in her & signs the papers. The girl repays his faith by turning up for the job on time the next day. David makes it a mission to learn about the lives of as many kids as he can & takes a real interest in them & tries to help them in every way he can. One of his kids is mentally challenged, one of them is gay & a player. Taylor (Amos VanderPoel) is a lifeguard at a local pool. Brett discourages David from interfering in his kids' lives as that could lead to complications against David in the class action lawsuit. One of the kids named Viggo (Adam Chanler-Berat) learns of David's true identity as their biological father. He uses that leverage to stay with David. Viggo even goes to David's basketball league, even though Viggo is terrible at basketball & makes him attend many meetings of the class action lawsuit kids, including their picnic camping day, where David gets to connect with even more of them. The picnic news of 533 kids from the same donor getting together is picked up by all the major news channels like the CNN, BBC, Fox and so on. Brett tells David that this is great news since the agency is not supposed to take any action that jeopardizes David's anonymity, and the picnic did just that. David can counter sue them for big damages. Spending time with his biological kids also allows David to be more attentive towards Emma & their brooding kid. This endears Emma to David & she visualizes having a real life with him. David decides to identify himself to the kids, but after the thugs assault him and even his father (The thugs now demand $100,000), he agrees with his lawyer Brett to sue the sperm bank for damages. He wins the lawsuit: he receives $200,000 and keeps his identity a secret. David has regrets, but after his father pays off his debt, David reveals his identity on Facebook. He goes to Emma's house and finds that she is going into premature labor. At the hospital, his baby is born, he proposes to Emma, and many of the children show up to see him.

Lifelong platonic friends Zack and Miri look to solve their respective cash-flow problems by making an adult film together. As the cameras roll, however, the duo begin to sense that they may have more feelings for each other than they previously thought. Zack and Miri are two lifelong platonic friends who make an adult film to pay the rent of their apartment. With their friend Delaney, the couple set out for auditionees for their porn film, but in the process of filming, they realize they feel more for each other than they had before. —Fashionisto Late twenty-somethings Zack Brown and Miri Linky, who have been friends since they met in grade one, are platonic roommates, who have never had sex with each other or have seriously contemplated it. Both work in dead end retail service jobs, and cannot make ends meet. They have no money for their upcoming rent, and with several utility bills past due, their electricity and water have been shut off. After speaking to a friend of a friend at their ten year high school reunion, Zack comes up with an idea to make money: make a porn movie, with themselves as the lead actors, and distribute the final product themselves. Zack figures they have a built-in initial market of their 800 high school classmates regardless of what those classmates think of either of them sexually, and that neither of them have any significant people in their lives who they would embarrass by having sex on camera. Beyond the obstacles of production, such as costs for equipment, the sound stage, sets and other actors and actually finding those actors, Zack and Miri have to face the obvious question of what having sex with each other will do to their friendship. They decide that they will treat it as a job with no effect on their friendship. Through the obstacles of production, working on this job does have an effect on both Zack and Miri which does have the potential to affect their friendship. Beyond whether this project will get them out of their financial hole, the questions are whether the effect they each face are the same, whether they will confront the effects objectively, and whether they will be truthful with the other. —Huggo Zack Brown and Miriam have been friends since high-school and share an apartment with many unpaid bills. In a reunion party, they find that the former high-school star is now a porn actor, and this inspires them to make a porn film to pay their bills. They cast the actors, actresses and crew, and Zack writes the screenplay. —Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil After completion of their school, Zack Brown and Miriam Linky go steady, live together, but are not intimate. Years later, they are still living together and on the lookout for intimacy. Despite Zack's employment with 'Bean-N-Gone' Coffee Shop, owned by an East Indian, Surya, they are unable to pay their utilities and end up without hydro and heat. After attending a reunion, both decide to make a porno film, and title it 'Star Whores'. They accordingly hire actors and decide to play lovers themselves in this movie - with hilarious and life changing results. —rAjOo (gunwanti@hotmail.com)

The movie begins as we meet Andy Stitzer (Steve Carell). He lives in a downstairs apartment and is unusually organized and tidy. He has a massive collection of action figures and video games. He also has a high tech video system and even a video chair for playing his games. This is the perfect 20 year old's apartment; unfortunately, he's 40. As he wakes up we watch as he struggles to pee with his "morning wood" and then makes a perfect breakfast omelet with fruit and juice. Again, everything is neat, organized and well planned out. He goes out and chit chats with the upstairs neighbor and his wife, making plans to come over to watch Survivor. He gets on his bike and rides to work. He works at a giant electronics store, think "Best Buy" or something similar. He works in the inventory control room, away from the public. He's actually a very nice guy but his co-workers think he's weird and possibly a serial killer. One day his coworkers discover they are one person short for a poker party they are planning later that night so they decide to ask Andy; he accepts their offer. Much to their surprise, Andy's great and beats them all. Everyone's sitting around swapping sex stories and when it comes to Andy he makes something up and it's obvious he's lying. They call him out and ultimately it is revealed that he is a virgin. Andy "rides" home in shame, completely embarrassed and ready to quit his job. He's up all night and just can't stop thinking about the humiliation that awaits him in the morning. The next morning he cautiously enters work and everything is fine at first and then one by one, different co-workers start making cracks about him. He runs out of the place in shame but one of his poker buddies stops him and eventually all his buddies get together and make it their personal goal to help him with his problem. For the next 45 minutes or so of the movie we see many different parties, clubs, and encounters he gets set up on, all pretty funny but none of them work. Among them by far the funniest is when they decide he needs to have his chest waxed. The torture he goes through is hilarious and gets even funnier when we see him walking home with a little blood on his shirt. At a bar one night they advise him on finding a drunk girl to take home. He does but since he doesn't have a car or license, the drunk girl drives, almost killing him and the evening ends with her throwing up on him. She offers to still have sex with him but he turns her down. One day at work he is forced to work out on the floor for a bit and meets Trish (Catherine Keener). Trish owns a small store across the street called "We Sell Your Stuff On eBay" The two hit it off and she gives him her phone number. He tells his buddies about her but they insist that he if he really loves her he can't have sex with her until after he loses his virginity. If his first time is with her it will be awful and she'll think he's a freak. Again they try to hook him up but nothing works. Finally after a date with Trish it looks like it's actually going to happen. They're on her bed making out when she goes into the bathroom to get ready. She tells him that there are condoms in the drawer but check the expiration date because they're pretty old. He starts reading instructions and such, not quite sure how to use one. He goes through a dozen or so just trying to get one on when suddenly Trish's daughter and boyfriend walk in. Her daughter is angry and she and her mom get into a huge argument. The boyfriend looks down on the what looks like a dozen used condoms laying on the bed and whispers to Andy, "teach me!" Andy and Trish decide to put off sex for awhile and just get to know each other. They decide to wait until their 20th date to have sex. They have many dates and Andy and Trish's daughter are actually becoming quite close. Trish helps him with his dream of opening his own electronics store by selling some of his collection at her eBay store. Things are going just great between the two of them. One day Trish goes over to Andy's apartment and finds a collection of porn that one of Andy's buddies gave him. Trish can't believe what kind of freak Andy is and rushes out. Andy chases after her and the chase ends with Andy crashing his bike into a billboard truck, landing right in front of her. As she is leaning over him he finally confesses to her that he is a virgin. The two have a passionate embrace. The next thing we know it's their wedding day. On the wedding night they finally make love. She tells him, congratulations, you are officially not a virgin. This encounter lasts 1 minute. She asks if he wants to do it again and he says sure... Two hours later we see them lying in bed with big grins on their faces. She asks him how it was and then the movie breaks into a strange video of him singing "Aquarius" with many of the cast of characters from the film in the background.