Harold Gould

In Palermo, Italy in 1979, Fabbrizio Disguisey (James Brolin), is the latest in a long line of Italian secret agents known as "Masters of Disguise". The family has been practicing the art for several centuries and have used their skills to protect the world from evil. Fabbrizio barely avoids getting caught while breaking up an ancient artifacts smuggling ring run by the evil Devlin Bowman (Brent Spiner) while disguised as Bo Derek. Bowman goes to jail and Fabbrizio decides it best to keep his family's identity a secret from his infant son, Pistachio (Dana Carvey), as he believes that this life is too dangerous. 23 years later, Fabbrizio runs an Italian restaurant in America with his unnamed wife "mama" (Edie McClurg) and Pistachio working as, respectively, the cook and a waiter. Thanks to his yet-untold family heritage, Pistachio has a tendency to mock people at random, doing perfect but annoying and badly timed impersonations. Pistachio has a natural talent for disguises and constantly practices his covers in front of the mirror, especially with wearing underwear on his head. Pistachio is also looking for a wife, but his nerdy demeanor makes him unlikable to women, as well as a target for bullies, like fellow waiter Rex (Jay Johnston). Pistachio's ex-flame Sophia is now going out with Rex. Pistachio feels that his destiny is far away, but Fabbrizio convinces him that his destiny is in being a waiter in their family restaurant. One night, Devlin Bowman, fresh out of jail, kidnaps Fabbrizio and "Mama", forcing the former to use his Disguisey powers to steal legendary artifacts like the U.S. Constitution and the Liberty Bell. Meanwhile, Pistachio is visited by his unnamed grandfather (Harold Gould), who reveals Pistachio's heritage and begins training him in the ways of becoming a Master of Disguise. Grandfather says that the Disguisey's have used their powers to catch thieves, save environment, and even get George Washington elected President (as he was a boring speaker). Grandfather hands Pistachio a handbook on the art and science of being a Master of Disguise. In the attic Pistachio and Grandfather find Fabbrizio's nest, which had all the hardware needed for any disguise. Grandfather also tells Pistachio about Energico, an energy field, that binds all Disguisey's from the past to the present. He teaches Pistachio to tap into the Energico to get words, skills, ideas that are considered impossible. The mantra is "Become Another Person". Eventually, Pistachio gets the basics of the Disguisey (Grandfather says that Pistachio is level 1 out of 7000) and his grandfather gets him an assistant, the gorgeous Jennifer Baker (Jennifer Esposito), who is a little confused about what the job entails. She takes the job as it pays $417 per week plus dental. With this Grandfather leaves Pistachio and asks him to use his skills to find his parents. Pistachio and Jennifer search the area where Fabbrizio was kidnapped and find one of Bowman's cigars, which is emblazoned with the symbol of the "Turtle Club". Pistachio disguises himself as a man who dresses and acts like a turtle. They manage to learn Bowman's name and scheme, as well as that he'll be at an antiques fair the next day. Jennifer basically does all the work, and Pistachio just stands around looking silly. Jennifer has a boyfriend named Trent, who hates her son Barney, while pretending to love him. Pistachio, on the other hand, cares for Barney and encourages him to follow his dreams. Pistachio and Jennifer go to the fair, the former disguised as an elderly woman named Gammy Num-Nums. They meet Bowman, who invites Jennifer to a party at his house. Pistachio goes to the party disguised as Tony Montana and distracts Bowman while Jennifer looks for clues about Pistachio's parents. Though she gets it, Pistachio causes so much trouble that he's forced to abandon Jennifer when Bowman sends his men after him. Pistachio loses the henchmen by disguising himself as shark-hunter Quint. He uses other disguises, like Bavarian tax agent Constable Mueller and British secret agent Terry Suave, to get Jennifer to safety. That night, Pistachio and Jennifer look through the clues at a local restaurant, and they deduce that Bowman has forced Fabbrizio to go back to his disguising ways to steal the treasures for Bowman. While there, they find Jennifer's boyfriend Trent (Mark Devine) out on a date with Pistachio's old flame, Sophia (Maria Canals). Pistachio then ends up slapping Trent into submission, then leaving with the love-struck Jennifer. Bowman's men kidnap Jennifer as soon as they arrive back at her home. Her son, Barney (Austin Wolff), whom Pistachio has befriended, finds him talking with his grandfather via hologram and a plan is formed. Pistachio, disguised as a cherry pie, breaks into Bowman's house and stops the auction. But even after defeating Bowman's ninja army, Bowman has one final trick up his sleeve. He has attached a mask of his own face to Fabbrizio's head, making him appear to be Bowman. While the real Bowman escapes, Pistachio is forced to fight his father. In the end, Pistachio helps his father snap out of it, they free "Mama", return the artifacts, Pistachio marries Jennifer, and becomes an official Master of Disguise. However, there is one final thing to deal with -- Bowman still has the Constitution. Luckily, the Disguiseys find him in Costa Rica. Disguised as George W. Bush, he, along with Fabbrizio and his grandfather, defeat Bowman once and for all.

Wrongfully accused of a bank robbery, a writer seeks the help of his ex-wife, who is now married to the soon-to-be Attorney General of California. Writer Nick Gardenia is kidnapped from his California cliffhouse and forced to rob a bank. Now a fugitive, he seeks help from his ex, Glenda. She is a public defender remarried to a prosecutor, and we get a houseful of hijinks. —<rth@ece.arizona.edu> Glenda Parks is a bleeding heart liberal lawyer, who believes she can be a major part in the redemption of her down and out minor criminal clients by employing them to do odd jobs for her. Her husband, Ira Parks, is the Los Angeles District Attorney who has just found out that he is in the running to become the state Attorney General. A major obstacle in him getting this position is that Glenda's first husband, non-fiction writer Nicholas Gardenia, was caught clearly on a video surveillance camera as being the perpetrator of a bank robbery in Carmel. In reality, Nick was abducted at gunpoint by the true bank robbers who forced him to be their front man. Nick is hesitant about turning himself in as he was previously wrongly imprisoned for two years in Mexico while he was working on an illegal alien story, prison where he does not want to go back. As such, he turns to the only person he believes can and will help him, namely Glenda. Glenda has mixed emotions about Nick reentering her life. Her head wants to hide Nick from Ira and get him out of their Brentwood house for good as quickly as possible, especially as a lot of powerful and authoritarian figures are mulling around the house, but her heart wants to help Nick much like she helps her clients and the many stray dogs that have entered the Parks' lives. Nick, on the other hand, tries somewhat to clear his name, but he seems more interested in reuniting with Glenda who he still loves and who he believes still loves him. —Huggo Nick Gardenia is a writer and was at home working when two men knocked on his door and pulled a gun on him. They make him drive them to a bank and rob it. The surveillance cameras catch him. Eventually it is sent to the D.A.'s office and the D.A., Ira Parks recognizes him as his wife's ex-husband. When he tells his wife, Glenda, about it she doesn't believe it. The guys who grabbed Nick throw him out of the car and he makes his way to Glenda and asks for her help. —rcs0411@yahoo.com

Henry Winkler portrays an outrageously self-confident but out-of-work actor, a young man who dreams of stardom and leaves college to pursue fame and fortune. In 1951, Andy Schmidt is in his last year of college. Taking life easy, always with a saucy joke on his lips, he manages to win fellow student Mary's heart, although she's already otherwise engaged. But getting a job after college turns out to be much harder than he expected. Most directors take offense at his free interpretation of his roles. Desperate, he gives wrestling a try; to avoid getting beaten up, he stages the fights--and incidentally invents show-wrestling. —Tom Zoerner <Tom.Zoerner@informatik.uni-erlangen.de>

A nuclear-powered bus driving cross-country from New York City to Colorado is destined for disaster because of the machinations of a mysterious group allied with the oil lobby. The ultimate disaster movie parody: A nuclear-powered bus is going non-stop from New York City, New York to Denver, Colorado, and is plagued by disasters because of the machinations of a mysterious group allied with the oil lobby. When the driver is injured, a washed-up, down-on-his-luck-but-used-to-be-great type who used to be engaged to the inventor's daughter is brought in to drive the giant bus, which includes a one-lane swimming pool and a one-lane bowling alley. —John Vogel <jlvogel@comcast.net>

A spy is brought back from cryogenic suspension after being almost killed in a plane crash returning from a mission to learn about a deadly new weapon being developed in the East. But the vital memories are being suppressed, so the authorities use ultra-advanced technologies to try to uncover the secret. —Letter B.