Janice Rule

A British private eye's relatives confuse his case. Ginley (Albert Finney) is a nightclub bingo caller eager for a career change. On his thirty-first birthday, he advertises himself as a private eye in the newspaper. He dons a trench coat, and begins engaging others in rapid-fire dialogue as if he were Humphrey Bogart, or some Dashiell Hammett creation. Soon after, Ginley is phoned by a fat man, who gives him a package containing a gun, a photograph, and a large sum of money. Eventually Ginley is investigating a case involving smuggling of weapons as well as drugs. Ginley also finds himself at odds with his unsupportive brother, who offers Ginley payment to break off his investigations. Eventually Ginley learns of his brother-in-law's involvement in the crimes at hand. Ginley faces a series of daunting tasks: solving the crimes, bringing justice to the smugglers (and a murderer), as well as maintaining his safety and sanity in the process.

The movie begins, as the credits roll, with an unseen person moving among the summertime woods, in what we are soon to learn is a well-to-do suburban upper New York state neighbourhood. Soon the person, clad only in swimming shorts, is revealed to be a lean, lithe and tanned, middle aged Ned Merril, a one time stockbroker, socialite and ladies man. He approaches a domestic pool, dives in and swims three lengths, at the end of which he is met with an iced drink offered by Donald Westerhazy, who obviously knows him and invites him to come and say hello to his wife Helen. In the course of the conversation with them, it emerges they haven't seen Ned for quite some time. They, and their out of town guests; the Forsburgh's (also old acquaintances of Ned) , are all recovering from the excesses of a party thrown by The Westerhazy's the night before. The first hint that all may not be what it seems, is when Ned refers to his wife Lucinda and the two couples exchange puzzled glances, but continue to talk as normal, discussing other neighbours; The Grahams who have installed a new swimming pool. This plants an idea in Ned mind; to swim home using a string of pools across the county to his house. He explain the route will take him via pools of the The Grahams, The Lears, The Bunkers, a portage through the Patisons riding ring, to the Hallorans and the Gilmartins. Then down to the Biswangers, Shirley Abbots, across route 424 to the public pool and then up the hill and home. He exclaims he will call it the Lucinda river, after his wife. As he departs, Helen Westerhazy poses the question; "Swim to his house, now why would he want to do that?" Next Ned arrives at the pool of Howard (Howie) and Betty Graham. In the initial conversation with Betty, she explains how expensive the new pool was to get installed, but hints that money was no object since Howie is doing so well in his work. In the course of conversation with Betty it transpires that, when younger, Ned didn't think much of Howie and didn't believe he would succeed. Ned brushes this off as jealousy, saying it was because he was crazy about Betty, even though it emerges he was dating his future wife Lucinda at the time of Betty and Howard's wedding. Howie arrives on a new fangled, ride on lawnmower, which Ned feels compelled to fix the engine idle on. The talk turns to Ned's home, as Howie asks why he never put in a pool? Howie speculates that the house is probably still worth much more than Ned paid for it, with the tennis courts and all the planting done. Ned doubts whether he'll ever sell it and says he wants to see his girls married in the house, which causes puzzled glances between Howie and Betty. The arrival of the The Grahams offers a welcome distraction for an embarrassed Howie and Betty, who go to meet their guests as Ned resumes his swim. In the next scene, Ned emerges from the pool of the Lears to be greeted by a very hostile woman called Mrs Hammar. When she enquires what he is doing there, he tells her he is Ned Merril, a friend of her son Eric. When Ned inquires about her son it transpires that Eric is now dead and Ned didn't even visit him in hospital when he was in his final illness. Shocked at this revelation, Ned makes to leave, but is stopped by Mrs Hammar, who tells him that this is now her property and he is never to visit again. At this stage, it is becoming obvious that Ned is in severe denial, or is obviously running from a lot of things in his past. However, on spying a stallion in the distance, he soon recovers his old virile demeanour while racing against the horse. He next arrives at the pool of the Bunkers, where he meets 20 year old Julie Anne Hooper who, it transpires, used baby-sit his girls. He is amazed to see her all grown up and wonders why he doesn't see her anymore. To which she replies that they obviously don't need her (as the girls are now grown up). Nonetheless, Ned tries to book her for babysitting for the following Sunday night, which Julie thinks is a joke. The arrival of Julie's brother and his girlfriend adds a bit more to Ned's back story, where we learn he used drive a red Jaguar sports car and his daughter's names were Ellen and Aggie. Ned's enthusiasm about his swim entices Julie to join him and so they set off for the next pool. Along the way Ned remarks on the apparent changing of the season by referencing the flowers in bloom. Julie then confesses that she had a crush on Ned as a young babysitter to the extent that she once stole one of his shirts to wear. They arrive at the pool of the Bunkers where a party is ongoing. Ned is again greeted enthusiastically by many of the guests, even thought one of the ladies inquires if it is undiplomatic to ask about Lucinda, a question which Ned ignores. More hints of Ned former life of yachting and drinking Dom Perignon champagne are revealed. Julie becomes somewhat more flirtatious in a bid to show how grown up she's become. Another somewhat drunken male guest corners Ned to apologise for not calling him and says that he thinks it was a rotten thing for Ned to be ousted from his job like that by some new firecracker. Ned deflects the conversation and moves on with Julie to encounter yet another of his past conquests, a divorcee, Cynthia, who witheringly tries to dismisses Julie as competition. When Cynthia seductively invites Ned over to visit, he says he will need to discuss it with Lucinda which disgusts Cynthia. Another guest, Danny offers Ned the prospect of a new position, which Ned rejects dismissively when told he may have to take a cut in pay. As Danny tells Ned he doesn't have to pretend with him, Ned and Julie resume their swim and then move on to the Patisons riding ring. There Ned again impresses Julie with his athletic virility by jumping over the horse jumps, before over reaching himself and hurting his ankle in the process. Julie tells Ned some more about herself, which leads Ned to come on to her. Ned reveals that he married into money, that he was from humble origins and it was Lucinda who was rich. He then revisits the subject of his stolen shirt and possessively offers to be Julie's guardian angel, which spooks Julie and she runs off. Ned limps along a road alone and finds himself at the entrance to the Hallorans estate, just as a chauffeur driven Rolls Royce is driving in. Thinking he knows the chauffeur, he bums a ride, only to discover that the former chauffeur Steve has left. However, the new chauffeur also calls him by name. On the drive up to the house he discover the new chauffeur has been in his position for almost two years. He is the epitome of discretion (unlike, it would appear, Steve) and refuses to engage in discussion about Steve or much else either. Ned leaves the car at the front of the house and brings the newspaper for the Hallorans out to their pool at the rear. Sitting by their pool, it is soon obvious that the Hallorans are nudists. Mr Halloran is engaged in a conversation with their daughter on the phone, who obviously disapproves of their nudism and refuses to bring their grandchildren to visit unless the older couple put on clothes. As Ned approaches he removes his swimming trunks out of respect, while the Hallorans argue about refusing him if he asks for money. The three exchange petty conversation, which mainly reflects the Hallorans snobbery and the value they place on maintaining their privacy. Ned notices Mrs Halloran is organizing a safari benefit ball and tells her to put him down for a table. She balks and tells him a table costs $1,000. Mr Halloran interjects to tell Ned he was awfully sorry they couldn't be of help. When Ned replies he didn't recall asking for help Mr Halloran diverts by inquiring how Lucinda and the girls are. Chillingly, Ned retorts that Lucinda is fine and the girls are at home playing tennis and then takes his leave to go swim in the pool. As he leaves, Mrs Halloran removes his name from the list for the ball. Next Ned approaches the Gilmartins where he encounters a young boy (Kevin Gilmartin, Jr. "after my father") selling lemonade and practicing playing a recorder. Ned asks for a cup of lemonade and Kevin tells him it costs 10 cents. Ned tells him he'll owe it to him, but Kevin is skeptical, even when Ned says he'll drop it round to him tomorrow. Kevin relents however and gives Ned a cup, commenting that he is shivering. Ned inquires about Kevin's parents. He says his mother is in Europe on her honeymoon, so she couldn't take him and his father is in love with the manicurist (that's what his mother says). Ned notices the boy is lonely and says he'll invite him over to his house and he can play with Ned's girls who he says are not much older than Kevin. Kevin is excited at the prospect of this and of cycling his English racing bike. He offers Ned another drink but Ned says he hasn't time as he is swimming home. He asks Kevin if it is ok to use his pool and Kevin says yes but hesitates. Ned walks him up to the house, where he discovers the pool is empty. Kevin says they took the water out of the pool because he's not a good swimmer. Ned say he will pretend to swim the pool using all the strokes and invites Kevin to join him. While going up and down the length of the pool, Ned paints a glorious picture of himself, to Kevin, as a wonderful dad who floods the tennis courts in winter to turn them into a skating rink and says Kevin will have to join them next winter. Kevin is delighted at his achievement of having "swum" a full length of the pool. Then he begins to have doubts, but Ned tells him, if you believe in something enough, then it can be true. Kevin asks to do it again but Ned says he has to leave, at which point Kevin gets angry as everyone appears leaves him. As he walks into the forest Ned hears Kevin jumping on the diving board above the empty pool and returns, worried that Kevin will hurt himself. Kevin is puzzled when Ned says he was worried he might dive in, to which Kevin replies "but there's no water in the pool". Next, Ned arrives at the Biswangers, where yet another party is in full swing pool side, with people dancing, drinking and gorging themselves on caviar. Henry Biswanger is explaining to an audience of other men about the all-weather sliding cover over his pool, which will allow its use all through the year. Grace Biswanger greets Ned coldly, accusing him of gate crashing their party. Ned goes to get a drink and strikes up conversation with the bartender, saying he must be new, explaining he hasn't seen him at parties. The bartender replies that he hasn't seen Ned either. Another female guest, Joan, arrives to jump the bar queue before Ned. He talks with her about swimming. Joan asks is he a neighbour and Ned replies "No". She asks if he is a friend of the Biswangers, Ned replies that they are not even on his Christmas card list. He tries to entice Joan to come along with him, telling her he is noble and a very special human being. Another male guest arrives and takes Joan aside, obviously to explain to her who Ned really is. Ned jumps in the pool to swim a length and emerges at the other end as one of the catering staff wheels a hot dog wagon past. Ned recognises it as one he built for his kids. He gets quite emotional, loudly explaining its providence. Mrs Biswanger approaches angrily and explains that they bought it at a white elephant sale. Ned offers to buy it back, offering to send a check for whatever price they want, at which Mr Biswanger scoffs. When Ned threatens to make a bigger scene, Mr Biswanger tells him to leave. Ned does so, humiliated, but says Mr Biswanger will be hearing from his lawyer. As he limps away, all the party guests watch on. Ned next arrives at the pool of Shirley Abbot, an actress. When he tells her he is swimming home she tell him to grow up. It soon become obvious that Ned and Shirley have been lovers and that she has been hurt by Ned's behaviour in the past. When he tries to come on to her like old times she rejects him brutally. He tells her about the hot-dog wagon at the Biswangers and she asks how would she know it, that she's never been to his house. As he makes a drink, Ned exclaims to her that "we are running out of Tabasco". Shirley, irritated at his use of "we" says he is a little confused this afternoon, living in Never Never Land and inquires about his house (she's heard he's had a change of residence, which Ned denies) and Lucinda, whom she obviously dislikes. When Ned says Lucinda has always done a lot of good in the town, Shirley acidly replies that she just didn't do very good at home. Ned begins to reminisce on their affair, recalling the previous winter in Toronto. Shirley replies that she hasn't been in Toronto for 3 years. She tells Ned that she wants him to get out of her garden, he asks is it because she is expecting someone, another male? When she confirms this Ned is taken aback and Shirley asks him if he thinks she's been in a deep freeze while he's been playing happy families. For the first time, we begin to see a real chink in Ned's facade, as he asks her what's happened and says that nothing's worked out the way he thought it would. She replies that he got turned out of his golden playpen. Shirley tells a story of once going to spy on Ned and his family on their way to the ballet and watching him schmoozing, smilingly with the hoi polloi, when hypocritically, one hour previously, he had been in bed with her. When he asks if her new man is better in bed than him she throws a drink in his face. Then she relates how he broke up with her by bringing her to a posh New York restaurant hoping she wouldn't make a scene. She says he sold her the yarn about having to go back to his wife and kids, even though he didn't love his wife (but the real estate was in her name!). She then mocks him about her affair with a bell hop to spite him further. He tries to entice her to come away with him to a castle in Ireland, but she again replies that she wants him to leave. He attempts to placate her and says he never meant to hurt her. His increasing shivers cause Shirley some genuine concern and she offers to drive him home. But he refuses and repeats the mantra that Lucinda is waiting for him, and the girls are at home playing tennis, as Shirley stares on in disbelief. Ned draws her into the pool and tries to remove her swimming costume, but finally Shirley breaks and tells Ned what she really though about him; that he was a bore with his stories about his old deals and his old girls and his golf scores and his war stories. To Ned's dismay she says she was acting with him all the time, but he still tries to convince himself that she is lying and she loved it all. Struggling out of the pool, Ned is next confronted by route 424 and struggles to cross the six lanes of traffic, like a wounded animal. When he eventually succeeds he slinks away into the woods on the other side. Ned's next stop is the public pool where he pleads to be allowed enter, even though he doesn't have the 50 cents entry fee. He's resorting to begging when another couple approach and the man, Howie recognises Ned. Ned asks him if he will lend him the 50 cents and even though Howie's wife advises against it, Howie gives it to him. Ned is further humiliated by the pool staff, by being sent to take a shower and even being sent back again to wash his still dirty feet. Even then, he is subject to a careful inspection of his toes, akin to a criminal, before he is finally allowed to swim. He struggles to swim a single length of a pool crammed with other users and emerges seemingly exhausted by the effort. He is again confronted by Howie and his wife, along with another couple who are also less than impressed to see him. Howie's wife, frustrated at Howie's attempt at friendliness towards Ned, instead asks him when he is going to pay his bills? She is joined by the other couple, who echo the same sentiments. Ned promises to send them both a check the next day, which invites further scorn. The second male starts talking about the ostentatious orders he used deliver to Ned's house. Ned asks Howie how is his family and Howie begins to tell him about how well his oldest boy is doing, but is interrupted by his wife who says that they know how to bring their kids up right, Not like Ned, where it appears one of his daughters has been caught drink driving and Ned paid to keep her name out of the papers. Howie's wife continues to plunge the knife in further when Ned claims that his daughters worship him, by saying they laughed about him behind his back and when Ned accuses her of being a liar, Howie finally cracks and tells Ned the obvious truth, that his girls thought he was one big joke. Stunned at this revelation, Ned pushes Howie aside and climbs up a rocky slope to escape the pool compound and their mocking of him. Ned finally arrives at the entrance to his own house and pushes his way in through the rusted gates as thunder crashes above. He limps into an unkempt and overgrown garden. As he walks through the dilapidated tennis courts, rain starts to fall and autumn leaves are piled in heaps. He approaches a once obviously grand, but now deserted house. He tries the front door but it is locked. He begins to bang on the door as rain falls in sheets and is blown by the wind. Through a crack in one of the windows we get a view inside one of the rooms of the house, empty save for some discarded boxes and an old tennis racket. This is revealed as Ned's true reality, that of the broken man slumped outside as the rain pours down on him.

Secret agent Matt Helm must battle foreign spies and a rogue nation's exiled ruler in order to recover a hijacked U.S. government experimental flying saucer. Without a doubt, there's a mole in the secret Intelligence and Counter Espionage agency. Right after the successful launch of the first state-of-the-art USAF flying saucer, the powerful tractor beam of a nefarious criminal organisation forces the experimental vessel to crash-land in the lush Central-American jungles. As a result, having no recollection of the mysterious incident, the amnesiac test pilot, Sheila Sommers, will have to join forces with the spy extraordinaire and suave photographer, Matt Helm, and travel to sun-kissed Acapulco to shed light on this thorny case. Nevertheless, their luxurious Mexican resort is rife with deadly traps and crafty double-agents, bent on stopping the prying intruders. Will Matt and Sheila unearth the dangerous conspiracy? Can they retrieve the top-secret spacecraft? —Nick Riganas A flying saucer, built by the U.S. Air Force and powered through electromotive forces, is launched into space on a top secret test flight. Shortly after it attains a position in space, strange tractor beams are aimed at it that drag it slowly bring it down to a spot in the lush jungles near Acapulco. There must be a mole in the secret Intelligence and Counter Espionage agency (ICE). The test pilot, Shiela Sommers is recovered but is suffering from amnesia, most unresponsive. That changes as soon as Matt Helm, spy extraordinaire and suave photographer, is sent by his boss MacDonald to visit her. A past assignment, in which they posed as a married couple, instantly snaps her out of the memory loss has her believing that they are once again married. Matt Helm and Shiela travel to sun-kissed Acapulco to shed light on this thorny case. The luxurious Mexican resort is rife with deadly traps and crafty double-agents, bent on stopping the prying intruders. Their targets are exiled ruler, Ortega, and his henchman Quintana. Quintana's Ole brewery plant becomes a focus of action. Interfering initially is foreign agent Francesca Madeiros. Eventually, they agree to cooperate. Most anxious to get his hands on the saucer is an Arab agent/assassin named Nassim. He fails to realize that the electromotive forces used to propel the saucer are fatal to men. That's why the initial test flight was piloted by Shiela. —Garon Smith A government space saucer is hijacked mid-flight by a powerful laser beam. ICE sends agent Matt Helm to Acapulco with and the female pilot, Sheila Sommars, to recover the saucer, under the guise of Matt taking fashion photographs of beautiful models. Matt is temporarily side-tracked, falling prey to the seductive charms of enemy agent Franceca Madeiros. —<slaygirl@sexydeath.com> A flying saucer built by the U.S. government is launched into space on a top secret test flight. Sheila Sommars is the pilot chosen and all goes well until she is found a few months later in a state of shock. Agent Matt Helm is then assigned to find the saucer, with Sheila posing as his wife. When he gets to Mexico, he must not only deal with the exiled ruler, Ortega and his henchman Quintana, but with enemy agent Fracesca Madeiros and an Arab agent/assassin named Nassim. —Brian Washington <Sargebri@att.net>

During the Civil War, Mexican cattleman Alvarez Kelly supplies the Union with cattle until Confederate Colonel Tom Rossiter's hungry men force Kelly to change his customers. Suave former Texan cattleman Alvarez Kelly now living in Mexico has little interest in the Civil War except to make some money. But after a long drive to deliver cattle to the Union he finds himself kidnapped by Confederate Colonel Tom Rossiter. With the hungry troops and civilians surrounded in Richmond by the Union army the Colonel intends, one way or the other, to persuade Kelly to help steal the herd and move it into town. Confederate money has no appeal so the Colonel resorts to other means with unexpected results. —Jeremy Perkins {J-26}

The citizens of a small Texas town become worried and panicked when a local bad boy escapes prison and heads for his hometown. Most everyone in town thinks that Sheriff Calder is merely a puppet of rich oil-man Val Rogers. When it is learned that local baddie Bubber Reeves has escaped prison, Rogers' son is concerned because he is having an affair with Reeves' wife. It seems many others in town feel they may have reasons to fear Reeves. Calder's aim is to bring Reeves in alive, unharmed. Calder will have to oppose the powerful Rogers on one hand and mob violence on the other, in his quest for justice. —Buxx Banner <bux572@aol.com> When the troublemaker Charlie "Bubber" Reeves breaks the prison with a dangerous inmate, his partner kills a driver on the road and Bubber takes the blame. The tycoon Val Rogers rules his small hometown, but Sheriff Calder keeps his independence from the powerful man. Jason 'Jake' Rogers, who is the son of Val Rogers and Bubber's friend, has a love affair with Bubber's wife Anna Reeves and he is concerned with the reaction of his former friend. While the local vigilantes organize a manhunt, Calder believes in Bubber's innocence and asks Anna to meet Bubber with Jake and convince her husband to surrender to him. —Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil A native of Tarl, Texas, Bubber Reeves is one of two that has just escaped from prison together, for Bubber two years into his almost completed sentence. While not a model citizen, Bubber was in prison for a crime he didn't commit. Many that know Bubber, including Tarl County Sheriff Calder and most residents of town, believe Bubber will head back to Tarl as his wife, Anna Reeves, still lives there. Calder, a farmer at heart who is biding his time in the job, which he hates, until he can afford to go back to being a farmer, was appointed on the pull of Val Rogers, the wealthiest and most powerful man in town. As such, Calder is caught in the middle, as most believe he is in Val's back pocket in doing what Val asks of him. Val is arguably the only person in town that doesn't know that his son, Jake Rogers, who has not been able to live up to family expectations, is having an affair with Anna, the two and Bubber friends since childhood, and Jake and Anna who had dated before she married Bubber. In that vein, Anna does truly love both in different ways. As the people in town await Bubber's return, including his parents, his mother in particular who loves him but blames herself for the way he turned out, the moral decay of the town in general is highlighted, many who have their own view of what should happen to Bubber and how to achieve it to their satisfaction against what they perceive will happen in part on their view of Calder. That moral decay is only heightened as many mistakenly believe Bubber the perpetrator in the murder of a traveling salesman. —Huggo

In New Mexico, a Confederate veteran returns home to find his fiancée married to a Union soldier, his Yankee neighbors rallied against him and his property sold by the local banker who then hires a gunman to kill him. When Confederate soldier Matt Weaver returns to town after the Civil War, he finds that his home has been sold by town boss Sam Brewster. Brewster hires gunfighter Jules Gaspard d'Estaing to deal with Weaver, but d'Estaing's independent approach settles the town's problems in a very unorthodox manner. —<JeanneArmintrout@juno.com> In the aftermath of the costly Civil War, the veteran Confederate Army soldier, Matt Weaver, returns to his hometown of New Mexico and his dusty ancestral farmhouse, only to discover that his property has been confiscated and resold by the immoral town boss, Sam Brewster. As the hamlet's only Rebel trooper attempts to repossess his ranch, an unfortunate complication will have the suave Creole gunslinger, Jules Gaspard d'Estaing, hot on his trail, paid by the crooked land baron to kill Weaver. Nevertheless, right from the start, the mysterious hired gun seems to have plans of his own. Will Jules finish what he got paid for? —Nick Riganas

A newly-married American couple vacationing in Mexico is prevented by the police from leaving Acapulco after the husband becomes the prime suspect in a local girl's murder. After six months of marriage to Trevor Stevenson (Ralph Meeker), well-known painter and much-decorated hero of WWII, Stella (Janice Rule) has found such complete fulfillment of all her romantic dreams that after he is accused of murdering a pretty cantina waitress on their first night in Acapulco, she angrily defends him to Police Captain Henrique Monteros (Paul Henreid), nephew of Senora Reidl (Fanny Schiller), owner of the pension where they are staying. But when the maid, Maria (Rosenda Monteros), tries to blackmail her with sketches of the dead girl made by Trevor on the night she was murdered, and found in the house by the husband and Maria's lover, Amigo Herrera (Yerye Beirute), Stella has second thoughts about her husband's innocence--and his bouts of amnesia enforce her doubts.