Jerry Lewis

Scientist Sherman Klump's inventions, his upcoming marriage to his pretty colleague Denise Gaines, and his reputation, are threatened by his evil clone Buddy Love. Having learned his lesson after the events of The Nutty Professor (1996), meek, gentle Dr Sherman Klump dedicates himself to science. However, when beautiful fellow DNA-researcher Denise Gaines enters the picture, once more, Dr Klump is in love. And, as the love-smitten professor dreams of a brighter future, the lean-and-mean Buddy Love persona emerges, demanding freedom. Now, the nasty alter-ego stands in the way of happiness, and poor Sherman must do everything in his power to rid himself of Buddy once and for all. Can the rowdy Klump family lend a helping hand? —Nick Riganas Professor Sherman Klump is getting married, and the Klump family could not be more delighted for him. But Buddy Love, his Mr. Hyde alter-ego from the first film, is back and trying to make it on his own. Buddy keeps resurfacing in untimely outbursts, and threatening the portly professor's marriage plans to colleague Denise Gaines. Utilizing Denise's cutting-edge DNA research, Sherman decides to rid himself of his monstrous nemesis--and his disruptive outbursts--once and for all by extracting Buddy's DNA from his system. But Buddy bursts full-bodied into Sherman's world and lays claim to the professor's astounding invention: a revolutionary youth serum. Desperate to keep it from Buddy, Sherman hides the serum in the Klump family home, thinking it will be safe. Buddy correctly divines where Sherman has placed the serum, but to get it, he has to deal with the entire Klump family first. —Anonymous Sherman Klump is engaged to his pretty girlfriend, fellow professor Denise Gaines. But Buddy Love, his other him from the first movie, tries to stay in his own form for eternity, so he keeps reappearing, which creates chaos for Klump. Klump tries to destroy Buddy Love forever, but while his plan has failed, and he starts to lose his knowledge and memory, he must do something to prevent the loss of the thing that made Denise fall in love with him: his wisdom. With help from his very crude and rude family, the Klumps, he tries to return his memory and to vanish Buddy Love forever. —rsilberman

Lance Perkins (Eddie Murphy) is hosting an exercise program on TV for overweight people. At the Wellman College, thousands of hamsters are overrunning the entire campus, causing general chaos. This is due to the obese, yet loving and kind-heart, Professor Sherman Klump (Eddie Murphy) accidentally releasing them by grazing the switch that opens the hamster's cages. The problem having been contained, Sherman is given an update by his assistant, Jason (John Ales), about their latest project an experimental formula that reconstructs the DNA of an obese person to make weight-loss easy. It seems that their fattest hamster, Shelley, has lost 3 ounces, proving that the serum works. Jason suggests increasing the amount Shelley is fed, but the ever-kindly Sherman argues against it, saying it could be dangerous. He then has an unpleasant meeting with Dean Richmond (Larry Miller). The Dean tells him that the incident with the hamsters has cost the science department most of its funding. Harlan Hartley (James Coburn) is the school's last remaining wealthy alumnus and is planning to award a $10 million grant to the college. After class, Sherman meets and instantly falls in love with Carla Purty (Jada Pinkett), a chemistry graduate student who is a big fan of his work. Sherman had dinner with his obese, impolite family including father Cletus, mother Anna Pearl Jensen-Klump, Anna's mother Ida Mae Jensen and Sherman's older brother Ernie (all of whom are also portrayed by Murphy). After noticing that he's taking very small amounts of food from the table, Sherman reveals that he's trying to watch his weight and avoid the calories. His father, Cletus, scoffs him, believing that there's nothing wrong with being fat and that while Sherman can do whatever he can, he'll never get rid of his fat. After his mother, Anna, brings up Colon Cleansing she saw about on T.V., Cletus starts his habit of randomly passing gas, much to the humor of Ernie Sr. and Jr., but to the disgust of Sherman, Grandma, and Anna. Sherman is hurt by the comments Cletus makes, but Anna, tells him that he is "beautiful inside and out," saying that he can do anything if he just believes in himself. This prompts Sherman to attempt to ask Carla out on a date, which she accepts, much to his surprise. While watching Lance Perkins on TV giving one his speeches of motivation, Sherman falls asleep and dreams he is making out with Carla on a beach, but she gets buried in the sand by his weight. Sherman is motivated, full of energy, and is determined to lose some weight. A Rocky-style montage ensues, showing Sherman trying various methods to get fit before the big date. At the date, it begins well with Carla showing admiration for Sherman's work, but Sherman falls victim to the club's wicked comic Reggie Warrington (Dave Chappelle), who attacks him with cruel jokes about his obesity. Back at Carla's home with tears in his eyes, a deeply hurt and humiliated Sherman says goodbye to his date. Carla insults Reggie for what he did to him and tells Sherman that he is brilliant. Sherman tells her to have a pleasant evening and shakes her hand. At home, completely depressed, he has a nightmare in which he becomes a giant with Reggie being present insulting him again, his mother offering him fried chicken, and his father supporting his fat weight. He lays waste to the city with just a single fart, which is then accidentally lit on fire. When he awakens, he yields to the temptation to try the serum on himself. It works, as he loses 250 pounds in seconds. Overwhelmed he goes out and buys many normal size clothing (mainly spandex) as a celebration. He initially celebrates the weight loss but later finds the effects of the serum are only temporary. Dubbing himself Buddy Love (Eddie Murphy), he invites Carla out on a date at the same club again while the serum begins to wear off. Carla later tells Sherman about Buddy and Sherman encourages her to go out with him. Reggie is present again, and Buddy takes revenge and heckles him mercilessly largely by targeting Reggie's "mama" with fat jokes similar to the ones Reggie pelted him with. During this Buddy develops a personality of his own as the high testosterone levels causes him to be overly assertive and confident. Finally angered, Reggie tries challenging Buddy to a Karate match, but he is once again overpowered as he performs Minnie Riperton's 1975 hit Lovin' You on the piano for Carla, and forces Reggie to perform her signature high-pitched squeal. Buddy then proceeds to stuff Reggie into the piano. Sherman's "Buddy" persona starts to develop an independent personality due to the heightened testosterone levels of the transformation, gradually changing from his regular good-nature self to perverted, arrogant and cruel. This transformation is seen by Sherman's lab assistant, Jason. He gives a waiter a credit card to pay for the meal. Buddy and Carla then share a kiss. Immediately after, the serum begins to wear off and Buddy makes a quick exit, attributing it to an allergic reaction to Carla's lipstick (the 'bulking up' beginning with his lower lip, and his midsection begins to swell up). Jason happens to be at the bar and notes that the card Buddy is using belongs to Sherman. He follows Buddy into the sports car to confront him, only to learn Sherman's secret when he discovers him in mid-transformation, culminating in Sherman's having to be cut out of the car when he becomes too big to use the door. The next morning, Sherman is very late for a class and his students have all left. The Dean Richmond ((Larry Miller), however, is there and he confronts Sherman about the sports car, which Buddy bought on Sherman's faculty account. The Dean threatens to strangle Sherman and asks him to meet Hartley (James Coburn) at a hotel restaurant called The Ritz to describe the weight-loss serum. Later, in the lab, Jason tells Sherman that he can't control Buddy, whose testosterone levels keep rising per transformation, as Buddy acted the exact opposite of who Sherman, and Buddy is now becoming an independent personality instead of a thin Sherman. Later, Carla talks to Sherman about her date with Buddy and Sherman takes the opportunity to ask Carla to dinner with his family, who promptly embarrass him by making various suggestive comments about their relationship, his grandmother especially pushing the question on whether or not they're having relations, and that there's nothing wrong to admitting if they are, calling it a beautiful thing. Cletus farts again. His confidence low and, after Carla mentions that she would like the opportunity to get to know the caring person she sometimes sees in Buddy's eyes, he uses the serum again. Sherman arrives at The Ritz as Buddy Love with Carla. When the dean spots him, Carla asks Buddy if he will take Sherman's place. With the Dean desperate to get the grant, he allows Buddy to talk to Hartley. He does, and he takes all the credit of his work to Hartley much to Carla's shock and outrage. Hartley and the dean are very impressed with his work, and the dean invites him to the alumni ball. Carla catches Buddy flirting with three women and dumps him out of disgust. Undaunted, he throws a loud party at Sherman's house that night, burning all the health food products in the fridge. Having transformed back to his normal self during the night, Sherman awakens to find himself surrounded by strange women. He has no memory of the previous night and is stunned to find the whole house in disarray. Carla arrives shortly thereafter to tell Sherman that she has left Buddy and to apologize about her encouraging Buddy to talk to Hartley. Carla finds the reverted Sherman with the women and breaks off their friendship as well. To add to Sherman's problems as he chases after her, he finds an eviction notice taped to his front door by his unseen grouchy downstairs neighbor and landlord, Mr. Wilson, owing to all the noise Buddy and the party had made during the night. After the falling out with Carla and Richmond gleefully telling Sherman that Buddy will be taking his place at the Alumni Ball, which means that Sherman is effectively fired from his job. At home, depressed, Sherman accidentally activates the VCR, where Buddy has left a message taunting Sherman and encouraging him to take the serum once again. This inspires Sherman to take his life back, resolved to prove that he can defeat Buddy. Sherman, having had enough of his alter ego, destroys all of the serum samples. However, Buddy, having anticipated this, has laced a sample of the serum in one of Sherman's diet shake cans, which Sherman drinks, causing him to transform into Buddy again. Jason that he has calculated that if he drinks 500 ml of the serum, he will have enough cellular stability to be thin forever, thus "killing" Sherman. However, he cannot drink all of that serum at once, as it would (literally) kill Sherman and therefore Buddy, too. Buddy, however, has a plan to drink 250 ml of the serum while still in the lab and the other 250 at the alumni ball. Sherman's young assistant Jason (John Ales) tries to stop him from going to the ball, but Buddy knocks him out and departs. At the ball, Buddy demonstrates the effects of the serum to the audience, but Jason arrives in time, as he has found out that Buddy's testosterone levels are at a lethally high 60,000%. Buddy plans to drink the serum to get rid of Sherman permanently, resulting in a fight between the two identities. The two of them get into a brief fist fight, but Sherman begins to fight Buddy from within. Sherman eventually transforms into his regular self and tells the alumni that he was wrong for what he did, that Buddy was who he thought he (and everybody else) wanted him to be, and that he should accept himself for who he is. As he leaves, Carla stops him and asks why he lied. He says he did not believe that she would accept him, but she says it doesn't matter if he is overweight or not. Carla forgives Sherman and invites him to dance with her. Jason presents Sherman with a tuxedo that will fit him. Richmond rehires Sherman and Hartley, impressed by Sherman's brilliance and genuine nature, donates the grant to Wellman. Sherman's mother cheers him on as he dances with Carla.

A young New Yorker goes to Arizona where he finds freedom to both love and dream. An Innuit hunter races his sled home with a fresh-caught halibut. This fish pervades the entire film, in real and imaginary form. Meanwhile, Axel tags fish in New York as a naturalist's gofer. He's happy there, but a messenger arrives to bring him to Arizona for his uncle's wedding. It's a ruse to get Axel into the family business. In Arizona, Axel meets two odd women: vivacious, needy, and plagued by neuroses and familial discord. He gets romantically involved with one, while the other, rich but depressed, plays accordion tunes to a gaggle of pet turtles. —Greg Pribyl <gpribyl@isd.net>

An American plans to bilk the British out of some considerable money with the help of an English con artist. George Lester is a man who is chasing rainbows, looking for the pot of gold at the end. When his wife, Pamela grows tired of being dragged all over the world, she leaves him. While she is away, George converts her family home into a discotheque, when she returns, she threatens to send George to jail for fraud, cause she didn't give her approval. George needing some fast bucks, decides to turn to an old cohort of his, William Homer but Willy's a little short. George then decides to steal the plans to a new drill, Pamela's suitor, Dudley Heath is working on. But when George gets the mumps, he can't make it to the meeting place and refuses to give Willy the plans unless he gives him the cash first. And the buyers won't give unless they see the merchandise first. —rcs0411@yahoo.com

Robert Reed visits his philandering friend Bernard Lawrence just as Bernard's scheme of being secretly simultaneously engaged to three flight attendants goes awry. Based on Marc Camoletti's stage play. American playboy Bernard Lawrence has cleverly designed a system using the airline timetables to keep going three affairs with flight stewardesses. However, his life soon starts to descend into a shambles after the arrival of a friend, Robert Reed, and a dreaded change to the flight order, whereby it becomes increasingly difficult to keep his three fiancées apart. —David Gibson <djg6@ukc.ac.uk> Living in Paris, journalist Bernard has devised a scheme to keep three fiancées: Lufthansa, Air France and British United. Everything works fine as long as they only come to visit him every third day. But when there's a change in their working schedule, they will be able to see him every second day instead. Bernard's carefully structured life is breaking apart. —Mattias Thuresson American Bernard Lawrence is an International Press correspondent based in Paris, where he lives with his fiancée, British national British United air hostess Vicky Hawkins. Or is it German national Lufthansa air hostess Lise Bruner? Or is it French national Air France air hostess Jacqueline Grieux? In fact, it's all three, but none of the three know about the other two. With a master airline schedule in hand, Bernard is able to schedule time separately with each of his three fiancées in the same apartment at different times - when one is in Paris, the other two are off flying around the world. Helping Bernard is his acerbic-tongued, efficient but slightly tired live-in maid, Bertha, who has to manage three sets each of photographs, clothing (two of which are always locked up) and bed linens, and has to remember that it is Vicky who eats kidneys, Lise who eats knockwurst and Jacqueline who eats soufflés. Trouble ensues when a rival reporter acquaintance, Robert Reed, comes to Paris. Upon finding out about Bernard's personal situation, Robert blackmails Bernard, the ransom for not exposing Bernard's secret to any of the three women being being able to stay at the apartment while in Paris. But Robert sees somewhat of a good thing, as when he learns that Bernard may be relocated to New York, Robert has dreams of taking over Bernard's Paris situation. But worse for Bernard is that British United, Lufthansa and Air France have all purchased new jumbo jets making air travel faster, which in turn means a whole revamp of their respective airline schedules and the schedules of the three fiancées. —Huggo

A young heiress must choose among six uncles, one of whom is up to no good and out to harm the girl's beloved bodyguard who practically raised her. Nine-year-old Donna Peyton is orphaned when her father dies and leaves her with a $30 million fortune. Her late father's attorney, John Wyman, explains that she must visit each of her six uncles (all played by Jerry Lewis) and decide which of them will become her new "father." —Ray Hamel <hamel@primate.wisc.edu>

A bumbling, yet loveable, med student leaves medical school because of his neurotic sympathy pains that he shares with his patients. He takes a job at an exclusive posh sanitarium as an orderly. While he makes great efforts to be a model orderly, his good natured innate ineptness makes a shambles of the institution and tries the patience of the hospital staff. The harder he tries, the worse he makes things with sidesplitting funny results. While at the hospital, a significant figure from his long ago teenage past resurfaces. The results will have you in a flight of emotions from drama to slapstick to pathos. Only Jerry Lewis could pull this off in one of his best film works. Look for the wonderful Alice Pearce ("Gladys Kravtiz" of Bewitched) in the role as the hilarious hypochondriac "Mrs. Fuzzybee." Her scenes with Jerry are the funniest in the entire film.

An incompetent bellhop is recruited to fill in for a deceased comedian. When a star comedian dies, rather than letting anyone know, his comedy writers decide to find and teach an unknown to fill his shoes for a big show the comedian had been schedeled for. But the man they choose - bellboy, Stanley Belt - can't do anything right, and time's running out.

Norman Phiffier works as a store clerk in a large department store. Clumsy and inept, he can't do anything right. Boy are they in trouble! Barbara is a very rich girl who falls in love with Norman Phiffier, a poor young man. She doesn't tell him who she really is and prepares to marry him. But, Mrs. Tuttle (Barbara's mother) doesn't want her daughter to mary such a poor man. So, she hires Norman at one of her big stores, and gives him the most difficult and disgusting works. She hopes that seeing Norman humiliated, Barbara will finally leave him. But things don't work exactly this way... —Chris Makrozahopoulos <makzax@hotmail.com>

Professor Julius Kelp is a nerdy, scruffy, buck-toothed, accident-prone, socially awkward university professor whose experiments in the classroom laboratory are unsuccessful and highly destructive. When a football-playing bully embarrasses and attacks him, Kelp decides to "beef up" by joining a local gym. Kelp's lack of physical strength leads him to seek a solution in his specialty of chemistry. He invents a serum that turns him into Buddy Love: a handsome, suave, charming and brash girl-chasing hipster. This new personality gives him the self-confidence to pursue one of his students, Stella Purdy. Although she resents Love, she finds herself strangely attracted to him. Buddy wows the crowd with his jazzy, breezy musical delivery and poised demeanor at the Purple Pit, a nightclub where the students hang out. He also mocks a bartender and waitress and punches a student. The formula wears off at inopportune times, often to Kelp's humiliation. Although Kelp knows that his alternate persona is a bad person, he cannot prevent himself from continually taking the formula as he enjoys the attention that Love receives. As Buddy performs at the annual student dance the formula starts to wear off. His real identity now revealed, Kelp gives an impassioned speech, admitting his mistakes and seeking forgiveness. Kelp says that the one thing he learned from being someone else is that if you don't like yourself, you can't expect others to like you. Purdy meets Kelp backstage, and confesses that she prefers Kelp over Buddy Love. Eventually, Kelp's formerly timid father chooses to market the formula (a copy of which Kelp had sent to his parents' home for safekeeping), endorsed by the deadpan president of the university who proclaims, "It's a gasser!" Kelp's father makes a pitch to the chemistry class, and the students all rush forward to buy the new tonic. In the confusion Kelp and Purdy slip out of the class. Armed with a marriage license and two bottles of the formula, they elope. During the short closing credits, each of the characters comes out and bows down to the camera, and when Jerry Lewis, still portraying Kelp, comes out and bows, he trips and goes into the camera, breaking it and causing the picture to go black.

A TV repairman dreams of being a detective and sets out to locate a missing heir. Lester is a clumsy and awkward TV repair man who is nevertheless gifted technically. In helping out a friend, he is drawn into a mystery involving a missing heir in a rich family. He begins to notice little things, like how much those family portraits look like him. Surely..no..he can't be...can he ? —David Gibson <djg6@ukc.ac.uk>

A clueless, recently-single graduate unwittingly takes a job as a servant in a mansion inhabited by dozens of young women. After his girlfriend leaves him for someone else, Herbert gets really depressed and starts to search for a job. When he finally finds one, it happens to be in a large house which is inhabited by many, many women. Can he live in the same home with all these females? —Chris Makrozahopoulos <makzax@hotmail.com>

A goofy paperhanger is hired to root out a financial inefficiency on a Hollywood studio lot, wreaking havoc as he goes. Paramutual Pictures wants to know where all the money is going, so they hire Morty to be their spy. Morty works for Mr. Sneak and gets a job in the mail room so that he can have access to the lot. But all that Morty ever finds is that he can cause havoc no matter what he does. —Tony Fontana <tony.fontana@spacebbs.com> Paramutual Pictures decide that they need a spy to find out the inner workings of their studio. Morty S. Tashman (Jerry Lewis), (the 'S' stands for 'scared'), is a paperhanger who happens to be working right outside their window. They decide that he is the man for the job and hire him on the spot. He bumbles his way through a series of misadventures, reporting everything back to the corporate executives.

Mute bellboy Stanley works at the luxurious Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami Beach. In spite of being a serviceable and friendly employee, the clumsy Stanley gets successively into trouble with his mistakes. Stanley is a bellboy at the Fountainbleau Hotel in Miami Beach. It is there that he performs his duties quietly and without a word to anyone. All that he displays are facial expressions and a comedic slapstick style. And anything that can go wrong - does go wrong when Stanley is involved. Then one day, Jerry Lewis, big star, arrives at the hotel and some of the staff notice the striking resemblance. Stanley continues to do what he was hired to do while star Lewis has more trouble with his entourage than the hotel accommodations. —Tony Fontana <tony.fontana@spacebbs.com>

The weirdest alien of the galaxy pays a visit to Earth... Jerry Lewis is Kreton, a childish alien who, against his teacher's will leaves his planet to visit the Earth, and lands in the backyard of a famous television journalist who doesn't believe in U.F.O's and aliens. Wanting to study humans but not able to fully understand them, Kreton makes a mess out of it, generating a lot of comic situations. —Alessio Quirino

A gender-swapped retelling of Charles Perrault's classic, where Cinderfella is visited by a fairy godfather to help him escape from his wicked stepmother and stepbrothers. This was Jerry Lewis' answer to the classic Cinderella story. When his father dies, poor Cinderfella (Jerry Lewis) Fella is left at the mercy of his snobbish stepmother (Dame Judith Anderson) and her two no-good sons, Maximilian (Henry Silva) and Rupert (Robert Hutton). As he slaves away for his nasty stepfamily, Maximilian and Rupert attempt to find a treasure Cinderfella's father has supposedly hidden on the estate. Meanwhile, hoping to restore her dwindling fortunes, the stepmother plans a fancy ball in honor of the visiting Princess Charming (Anna Maria Alberghetti) who she hopes will marry Rupert. Eventually, Cinderfella's Fairy Godfather (Ed Wynn) shows up to convince him that he has a shot at winning the Princess. —phillindholm When Fella's father dies, he continues to live with his wicked stepmother Emily and her two sons, Maximilian and Rupert. His stepfamily takes over the family mansion, while Fella is reduced to living in an unfinished room at the end of a long hallway. He has essentially become their butler, catering to their every whim. Fella dreams nightly that his father is trying to relay a message to him about where he has hidden his fortune, but he always awakens before he learns the hiding place. His stepfamily knows of this secret fortune and some go to great lengths to discover its whereabouts, while others pretend to befriend him in order to wrangle Fella's fortune away once it is found. Back home, one of Fella's stepbrothers realizes that Fella is the supposed "prince." They wind up in a struggle under a tree and discover that the fortune is hidden there. Fella, who had always known where the money was, gives it to his stepfamily, saying that he never needed money to be happy; he only wanted a family. Shamed, his stepmother orders her sons to return the money to Fella. The princess arrives with Fella's lost shoe, but Fella explains that they could never be together because she is a "person" and he is a "people." She tells him that, underneath the fancy clothes, she is a "people" too. —tpsimpleman

During the 1950s, a military panel grills Junior Officer John Paul Steckler to find the whereabouts of a Navy destroyer that he temporarily commanded during WWII and is missing. John Paul Steckler was the Junior Officer aboard a destroyer when WWII ended. He gets stuck with the job of sailing the ship to the states to be decommissioned. Now years latter, no one knows where the ship is. He has a choice. Find the ship, or pay for it, Now! If only Prudence, to whom he just got married, could understand why he isn't there for his Honeymoon. —Brian W Martz <B.Martz@Genie.com> The United States Navy is asking the government for new appropriations. Now a Congressman Mandeville, who wants to turn them down, thinks he has the means--one of their vessels, a destroyer escort is unaccounted for. Now the last man who was in command of it, is John Paul Steckler VII, who comes from a long line who naval goof-ups. So Admiral Bludde sends for him and when he is brought before them, he is told that unless he can tell them where the vessel is, he stands to face charges. It seems that after the war, he was placed in command, cause he was lowest ranking officer, and after getting caught by Japanese soldiers, who were unaware that the war was over, and being mistakenly believed to be dead, his crew left him, and when he returned he sign the ship out. So along with Ensign Benson, he tries to find out where his ship went. —<rcs0411@yahoo.com>

Gilbert Wooley is a second-rate magician who is sent to entertain the troops in the pacific. During his time in Japan he becomes attached to a little orphan boy.

Carla Naples ran away from her small town life, her small town family, and a small town boy with a crush on her to become a big star. But while on a shoot in Mexico she got secretly married and turns up pregnant with no proof of marriage her agent suggests a little bit of help keeping her babies and keeping them secret, he suggests family but Carla knows there's only one person who'll do anything for her and that's small town crush Clayton Pool. Carla's little sister has had a crush on Clayton as long as Clayton has had a crush on Carla. Clayton agrees to find the baby on his doorstep and keep it for Carla until.... Carla fails to tell him it's not one baby, but three..and the laughs go on from there.

A bumbling hero with a photographic memory winds up in Morocco as a private in the French Foreign Legion. He still hasn't adjusted after 18 months. Among other things, he's lost a tank. Private Meredith Bixby is so out of step in the Army that his six weeks of planned basic training has now stretched to 17 months. After he loses a tank, WAC Major Shelton, a psychologist, is assigned to make a good soldier out of him. She requests Corporal Dolan and Private Stan Wensalawsky to help with the training. Dolan and Stan both have scores to settle with Bixby and their "guidance" leads to more mishaps. Sergeant Pulley has them shipped out to Morocco. On leave in North Africa, Bixy wanders alone into a bar, has a few Moroccan Delights, which he thinks are malted milks, and becomes convinced that exotic singer-dancer Zita is THE girl for him. To protect him, Dolan tells him some lies about Zita, and Bixby, in despair, joins the Suicide Division of the Foreign Legion. He is kidnapped by a band of Arabian plotters and, guarded by the knife-happy Abdul, is ordered to assemble a stolen American cannon. Zita learns of his plight and gets Dolan and Stan to join her in a rescue mission. —Les Adams <longhorn1939@suddenlink.net>

Sidney Pythias is a bumbling janitor picked up by cop Mike Damon as a teenage gang member worth saving from delinquency. With Damon's help, Sidney works his way through the Police Academy to become a cop too.

A singer who can't pay his bookie joins a nerdy, star-struck movie fan and his Great Dane in a cross-country convertible ride to Hollywood. The last movie with Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin together, is a satire of the life in Hollywood. Steve Wiley is a deceiver who cheats Malcolm Smith when he wins a car, claiming that he won it too. Trying to steal the car, Steve tells Malcolm that he lives in Hollywood, next to Anita Ekberg's. When Malcom hears that, they both set out for Hollywood and the adventure begins... —Chris Makrozahopoulos <makzax@hotmail.com> Malcolm Smith, a star-struck movie fan known for his lucky feelings, wins a new convertible in a theater raffle, but his ownership is challenged by compulsive gambler Steve Wiley, who hopes his forged winning ticket will help him pay off his bookie. After Steve regales a lovesick Malcolm with concocted stories about his supposed next-door neighbor, sultry actress Anita Ekberg, they agree to share the car on a cross-country trip to Tinseltown. Steve is prevented from abandoning his traveling companion on several occasions by the latter's pet dog, a huge and voracious Great Dane named Mr. Bascomb. They bond by sharing various adventures in New Jersey, Chicago, Oklahoma, and New Mexico. By the time they get to Las Vegas, where they meet the real Anita Ekberg and test Malcom's luck with craps, they have acquired a third member of their group, Terry Roberts, an aspiring dancer, who becomes romantically involved with Steve. —Gabe Taverney (duke1029@aol.com) Malcolm Smith is a movie buff who yearns to go out to Hollywood to meet Anita Ekberg. Steve Wiley is a gambler with some bad debts. They both have winning tickets in a car raffle (Steve's is fake), so they share the car and head off to Hollywood along with Malcolm's Great Dane and a girl named Terry that they meet along the way. —Chris Yanda <cyanda@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca>

When an aspiring barber becomes inadvertently involved in the theft of a valuable diamond, necessity forces him to masquerade as a 12 year-old child - with humorous consequences. Wilbur is a young man whose dream is to become a great barber, but for now he's working just as an assistant at a hotel's barber shop. When one day he gets involved (by mistake) in some big robbery, he is forced to disguise himself as a 12-year-old boy so that he can get away from his persecutor. —Chris Makrozahopoulos <makzax@hotmail.com>

Rick Todd uses the dreams of his roommate Eugene as the basis for a successful comic book. Rick Todd and Eugene Fullstack share an apartment and have dreams for the future. Rick is an aspiring artist looking for a break. Eugene loves comic books, especially The Bat Lady series. He is so engrossed with her stories that he has nightmares and dreams of his own comic book characters. Their luck begins to change when Abby Parker is fired as the artist for the Bat Lady. Rick pitches his own comic book series and Eugene gets to meet Bessie Sparrowbrush, who, unbeknown to him, is the artist's model the Bat Lady. Rivalry and romance ensues for all four of them, with several song and dance numbers along the way.

One day in Desert Hole, New Mexico, bumbling train station attendant Homer Flagg impulsively hops a passing train, hoping it will take him to an exciting new life in New York. Instead, Homer is chased off the train by an MP and jumps into an abandoned automobile near the tracks. Oblivious to a sign on the front grille identifying the car as radioactive, Homer drives off toward the Los Alamos nuclear test site and ends up at a gas station. When Homer finally notices the sign, he faints, and the next day, his imminent death from radiation poisoning is announced in newspapers across the country. In New York, Morning Chronicle reporter Wally Cook convinces her wary publisher, Oliver Stone, that Homer's terminal illness would be great fodder for a series of articles and talks him into inviting Homer to spend his last days in New York at the paper's expense. Homer, meanwhile, learns from his incompetent doctor, Steve Harris, that he was misdiagnosed and is not dying after all. Homer is unhappy about the news, as the railroad was about to give him $300 to go to New York, and reluctantly returns to the depot. There, Homer meets Wally as she is disembarking, and when she tells him about The Chronicle's offer, cannot bring himself to admit he is healthy. Homer races to Steve's office and begs him not to send his amended medical report to the railroad, but Steve refuses until Wally shows up and enchants him. Steve then insists on accompanying Homer to New York, and on the plane there, knocks Homer out with some pills and flirts shamelessly with an unreceptive Wally. In New York, Homer receives a hero's welcome and is put up at the Park Ritz Hotel, where he begins ordering room service, a new wardrobe and other expensive amenities. Steve cautions Homer to act sick, but Homer has a difficult time suppressing his excitement during highly publicized appearances at Yankee Stadium and the Wonderland Ballroom. There, while Steve tries to romance Wally, Homer dances a wild jitterbug after a waiter slips him some vodka and champagne, then collapses on the floor. The next day, at the hotel, Steve ministers to a hungover Homer, whose guilt at deceiving Wally and the world is starting to take its toll. To please Steve, Homer agrees to tell Wally that Steve loves her and wants to marry her, even though he is in love with her, too. When Wally shows up and admits to Homer that she is going to talk to the governor about erecting a statue in his honor, Homer protests that he is unworthy. Seeing his opportunity, Homer then tells Wally how much Steve loves her, but Wally insists that she loves Homer and wants to marry him. Swept up in the moment, Homer agrees and later rejects Steve's angry suggestion that he tell Wally the truth to ensure that she is marrying him for love. Just before the ceremony, however, Homer overhears Wally confess to Steve that she actually loves him but wants to make Homer's last days happy. At the altar, Homer refuses to say "I do" and runs back to the hotel to pack. When Wally, Oliver and the mayor demand to see him, Homer hangs from a chandelier and pretends he is a fighter pilot, hoping to convince them that he has gone insane. His act works, but Wally is so filled with pity that she talks Oliver into paying to have the top radiation sickness experts flown to New York. Wally distracts Steve, who has stipulated that only he be allowed to treat Homer, long enough to kidnap Homer and take him to the hospital where the foreign doctors are to examine him. To prevent the examination, Steve tries to knock Homer out, but is himself knocked out. When the unconscious Steve is mistaken for Homer and wheeled in to be X-rayed, Homer dons different disguises and impersonates each of the three doctors separately in an attempt to fool them into diagnosing radiation sickness. The doctors deduce Homer's scheme, however, and inform Oliver that he is as healthy as a horse. Unaware they have been exposed, Steve comes up with the idea to publicly "cure" Homer, and the two begin to celebrate their cleverness. Wally arrives unexpectedly at the hotel, however, and reveals that she is on to them. Though relieved that Homer is well, Wally demands that he fake committing suicide, then slip out of town. As directed by Wally, Homer leaves a suicide note in his hotel room and goes with Steve and a camera-wielding Wally to "drown" himself in the river. The note is soon found by some Boy Rangers, who notify the fire department and Oliver. Determined to see Wally's scheme succeed, the mayor, Oliver and his "sluggers" race to the river to cajole the frightened Homer into jumping before the fire department arrives to save him. Homer instead falls into the river, crashing through his rescue rowboat. The rowboat sinks, and later, after Homer's grand public funeral, Homer and Steve, who has married Wally, undertake the jobs assigned to them by the mayor--street cleaning.

This musical comedy revolves around Harvey Miller who is skilled at golf but afraid of crowds. Unable to compete in tournaments himself, he starts coaching his friend Joe.

When Herman promises the mob to fix a racing horse in order to pay off his debts, he selects his veterinarian cousin as a patsy to help him but things go awry. Herman owes a lot of gambling debts. To pay them off, he promises the mob he'll fix a horse, so that it does not run. He intends to trick his animal-loving cousin, Virgil, an apprentice veterinarian, into helping him. Of course, he doesn't tell Virgil what he is really up to. Mistaken identities are assumed, while along the way, Virgil meets a female vet and Herman falls for the owner of the horse. Goons and mobsters are also lurking around; so beware! —erasmus

Close remake of Ghost Breakers (1940) starring Paulette Goddard, Bob Hope and Willie Best as Hope's valet and a very young Anthony Quinn as the Mederes brothers (Cariso in the remake). Mary Carter (Lizabeth Scott) inherits her family's ancestral home, located on a small island off Cuba, and, despite warnings and death threats, decides to sail to Havana and take possession of the reputedly haunted castle. She is joined by nightclub entertainer Larry Todd (Dean Martin) who, believing he has killed a mobster, flees New York with a friend, Alex. Once on the island the three enter the eerie castle and, after viewing the ghost of one of Mary's ancestors and fighting off a menacing zombie, find the key to the castle's treasure. In Scared Stiff (1953) broadcaster Larry (Hope) becomes a nightclub entertainer and his valet Alex (Willie Best) changes into a friend. If you like Jerry Lewis (I dont) you may enjoy his impersonation of Carmen Miranda and the rest of the remake, but I think everybody in the original, with the exception of Dean Martin, did a better job in a better film. Written by Doug Sederberg {vornoff@sonic.net} and jojo.acaplco@gmail.com

Although allergic to kissing girls, Seaman Melvin Jones, through a fluke TV appearance, gets the undeserved reputation of a great kisser dubbed "Mr. Temptation" and is pursued by amorous young females. Because of a misunderstanding Melvin Jones is inducted into the Navy despite his numerous allergies. When appearing on a TV show sponsored by a lipstick manufacturer, fluke circumstances cause him to be perceived as an irresistibly great kisser by viewers, and he is undeservedly hyped in the media as "Mr. Temptation." His shipmates bet their pay that he can get Corinne Calvet, a sexy French chanteuse, to kiss him. Despite his allergy toward kissing girls, he tries not to let them down even though it threatens his relationship with girlfriend Hilda. —duke1029

Nightclub comic Hap Smith assumes the identity of another soldier so he can tour army bases in a revue with his ex-partner Chuck Allen. Hap Smith, nightclub entertainer, has a new act since his former partner Chick Allen joined the army: with lovely new partner Betsy Carter, Hap plays a clownish parody of a soldier. Meanwhile, Chick is organizing a soldier show at Fort Benning and finds he needs his old partner's help. To get onto the base, Hap impersonates a hapless real soldier, Dogface Dolan; but circumstances force them to prolong the masquerade, creating an increasingly tangled Army-sized snafu.

The greatest player in Ridgefield College history uses his influence and reputation to get his only son, a sickly, uncoordinated nerd, on the college football team with comic results. Jarring Jack Jackson, the greatest football player in Ridgefield College history, is disappointed that his only son Junior is an uncoordinated, allergy-ridden bookworm. He uses his athletic reputation and standing as #1 alumni contributor to pressure the coach to take Junior on the team. In addition, he pays the tuition of Junior's financially needy classmate Bill Baker, a potential all-American, with the understanding that he will room with Junior and mentor him athletically and socially. Junior's initial efforts as quarterback prove disastrous, and further complications arise when the roommates both fall in love with the same co-ed. Plot complications become critical as the climactic homecoming game approaches. —duke1029

En route to Hollywood, singer Steve, his partner Seymour and fiancée Jane, Jane's airheaded roommate Irma, and Irma's con artist fiancé Al have a series of misadventures and end up involved with a murderous gang. In this sequel film, all the characters remain the same; Al is still unemployed, Jane still has show-biz aspirations for boyfriend Steve; Steve and Seymour are still partners, and Irma is still Irma, which isn't all that easy. Al gets Steve a singing job on television, which is seen by a Hollywood producer. He signs Steve to a long term movie contract, and all hands depart for Hollywood. But, alas, the producer turns out to be an escaped lunatic, and they end up in Las Vegas, where Irma manages to get kidnapped by gangsters, who are very unhappy with Irma. —Les Adams <longhorn1939@suddenlink.net> A delusional escaped mental patient convinces crooner Steve Laird that he's a Hollywood producer and signs him to a bogus studio contract. A jubilant Steve and his entourage; friend Seymour, con-artist agent Al, fiance Jane, and Jane's room mate Irma, the prototypical dumb blonde, speed across the country to California. They learn the truth before finishing their journey in Las Vegas, but not before Steve becomes entangled with a sexy French actress, Seymour gets involved with a chimpanzee, Al goes into the rug business with a millionaire Indian, and Irma is kidnapped by gangsters after she inadvertently sabotages one of their rigged roulette wheels. —Gabe Taverney (duke1029@aol.com)