John Cleese

Based on Norman Bridwell`s children`s books of the same name, the film is a live-action portrayal of a young girl who loves her puppy, Clifford, so much that he grows to an enormous size.

Inspired by the NYT bestselling book, this lively philosophical investigation into the rise of asshole behaviour across the world asks: What does it mean to be an asshole, and more importantly, how do we stop their proliferation? After stumbling upon Philosophy professor Aaron James's titular book, filmmaker John Walker presents theories centered on the type general society classifies as the "asshole". In attempting to define the term, James himself comes up with someone who "allows himself special advantages in cooperative life out of an entrenched sense of entitlement that immunizes him against the complaints from other people". The issues discussed in the film include: the association between narcissism and assholism; the difference between an asshole and a prick or a dick; the prevalence of assholism in men versus women; the asshole culture in Los Angeles and in Canada, the latter known as land of overly polite and unassuming people (with a few individuals, the so-called national sport, and one public sector organization being dissected in the discussion in being contrary to the perception that Canada has a difficult time producing assholes); if being an asshole is a born or learned trait; certain groupings in which asshole behavior seems to be inherent; the effect of electing assholes as leaders of countries, they who usually espouse some sort of populism; the role of the online world, especially tech giants and trolls, in the evolution of assholism; and organizations, especially ones where assholes seem to be dominating figures, taking measures to eliminate assholism in seeing it as a structural problem negatively impacting the organization, including the bottom line. Examples from popular culture are used to highlight these concepts. —Huggo Some people grapple with the moral challenges of treating human beings decently. Others are just... assholes. Inspired by Aaron James' New York Times bestseller of the same name, this documentary investigates the breeding grounds of contemporary 'asshole culture' - and locates signs of civility in an otherwise rude and nasty universe.

When their village is invaded by the grumpy Bergens, two mismatched friends must work together in perfect harmony to save the day.

While looking for a new home, The Croods come across a more evolved caveman named Guy. Together they explore fantastic creatures and a whole new world of adventure!

Longing for the days when he was a `real ogre`, Shrek signs a deal with Rumpelstiltskin that turns his world upside down with only 24 hours to restore his happily forever after.

An international thief is on the loose, stealing treasured artifacts and the famous Pink Panther diamond. Inspector Closseau (Steve Martin) is assigned to a team of international investigators, who are just as clumsy as he is. Featuring alongside are John Cleese, Andy Garcia, Alfred Molina and Aishwarya Rai.

An international thief is on the loose, stealing treasured artifacts and the famous Pink Panther diamond. Inspector Closseau (Steve Martin) is assigned to a team of international investigators, who are just as clumsy as he is. Featuring alongside are John Cleese, Andy Garcia, Alfred Molina and Aishwarya Rai.

The greatest fairy tale never told continues when Shrek embarks on another whirlwind adventure with Donkey and Puss In Boots to find the rightful heir to the throne.

With the birth of a new litter of 11 piglets, the farmer must eliminate one so the mother can feed them. The farmer gets his ax and selects the runt of the litter when he is stopped by his daughter, Fern (Dakota Fanning). Fern begins to feed her new piglet and names him Wilbur (voice of Dominic Scott Kay). After Wilbur gets strong enough to be on his own, he is put into the barn across the road. In the new barn, he meets many different animals: cows, sheep, geese, a rat, a horse, and of course a spider named Charlotte (voice of Julia Roberts). Wilbur's friendship with all the animals in the barn brings them all together, and they become one big happy family. There is only one problem that Wilbur doesn't know, he is a spring pig, and they don't usually get to see winter. Charlotte promises Wilbur that she will do something to save his life. Charlotte spins the words "some pig" in her web to show the farmer a miracle that may save Wilbur's life. Douglas Young (the-movie-guy)

When a trip to meet Shrek`s in-laws turns into a twisted adventure, he and Donkey take on a Fairy Godmother, the pompous Prince Charming, and the ogre-killer, Puss In Boots.

MI6 agent James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) infiltrates a North Korean military base where Colonel Tan-Sun Moon (Will Yun Lee) is trading weapons for African conflict diamonds. The UN has banned trade in these diamonds as they are being used to fund wars. Bond hijacks a helicopter that was supposed to be delivering diamonds to the base in exchange for weaponry. Bond puts C4 explosives inside the diamond case before the helicopter landed. After Moon's right-hand man Zao (Rick Yune) receives notification of Bond's real identity, Moon attempts to kill Bond. Before practically destroying the military base, a hovercraft chase ensues, ending with Moon's craft tumbling over a waterfall. Bond is captured by North Korean soldiers and imprisoned by the Colonel's father, General Moon (Kenneth Tsang). After 14 months of captivity and torture at the hands of the Korean People's Army, Bond is traded for Zao in a prisoner exchange across the Bridge of No Return. He is sedated and taken to meet M (Dame Judi Dench), who informs him that his status as a 00 Agent has been suspended under suspicion of having leaked information under duress to the North Koreans. A top US agent in the North Korean high command had turned up dead during Bond's captivity and a prison communication named Bond as the source, leading MI6 to assume he had cracked. But Bond is convinced that he has been set up by a double agent in the British government. After escaping MI6 custody where he lowers his pulse and simulates a heart attack, he finds himself in Hong Kong, where he learns from Chang (Ho Yi), a Chinese agent and old colleague, that Zao is in Cuba. He asks Chang to get him to settle both their scores with Zao. In Havana, Bond meets with NSA agent Giacinta "Jinx" Johnson (Halle Berry) and follows her to a gene therapy clinic on a nearby island where patients can have their appearances altered through DNA restructuring. Jinx kills Dr. Alvarez (Simón Andreu), the leader of the therapy, while Bond locates Zao inside the clinic and fights him. Zao escapes in a helicopter, leaving behind a pendant which Bond discovers a cache of conflict diamonds bearing the laser signature of the company owned by British billionaire Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens). Bond learns that Graves only appeared a year prior, apparently discovering a vein of diamonds in Iceland leading to his current wealth and celebrity. At Blades Club in London, Bond meets Graves along with his assistant Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike), who is also an undercover MI6 agent. After a fencing match that escalates into a claymore sword duel, Graves invites Bond to Iceland for a scientific demonstration. M restores Bond's Double-0 status, but warns him that the British Intelligence has other priorities and Q (John Cleese) issues him an Aston Martin V12 Vanquish with active camouflage. At his ice palace in Iceland, Graves unveils a new orbital mirror satellite Icarus, which is able to focus solar energy on a small area and provide year-round sunshine for agriculture. Frost seduces Bond in order to distract him during Jink's capture. Jinx infiltrates Graves's command center and is captured by Graves and Zao. As Zao is about to kill her with a laser weapon, Bond rescues her and discovers that Graves is Colonel Moon, who has used the gene therapy technology to change his appearance and amassed his fortune from conflict diamonds as a cover. Bond confronts Graves, but Frost arrives to reveal herself as the traitor who betrayed him in North Korea, forcing Bond to escape from Graves' facility. Though both Graves and Frost believe they killed Bond, he returns in his armed stealth Vanquish to rescue Jinx, who has been betrayed by Frost in the ice palace. As Graves uses Icarus to melt the ice palace, Zao pursues Bond into the palace using his Jaguar XKR with thermal imaging. Bond kills Zao by causing an ice chandelier to fall onto him and revives Jinx in Graves' hot springs after she has almost drowned. Bond and Jinx pursue Graves and Frost to the Korean peninsula and stow away on Graves' An-124 cargo plane. Graves reveals his identity to his father, and the true purpose of the Icarus satellite: to cut a path through the Korean Demilitarized Zone with concentrated sunlight, allowing North Korean troops to invade South Korea and unite the peninsula. Horrified that it would potentially trigger World War III with the United States, General Moon rejects the plan, but Graves murders him. Bond attempts to shoot Graves, but his aim is deflected by a soldier. His gunshot pierces the fuselage, causing the plane to decompress and descend rapidly. Bond and Graves engage in a fistfight, and Jinx attempts to regain control of the plane. Frost attacks Jinx, forcing her to defend herself in a sword fight. After the plane passes through the Icarus beam and is further damaged, Jinx kills Frost. Graves attempts to escape by parachute, but Bond opens the parachute, pulling Graves out of the plane and into one of its engines, disabling the Icarus beam. Bond and Jinx escape the disintegrating plane in a helicopter from the cargo hold with Graves's stash of diamonds, just achieving ignition before they reach the ground. At MI6 headquarters, Moneypenny (Samantha Bond) is using the agency's virtual reality glasses, while fantasying having a romantic moment with Bond but is interrupted by Q. Bond and Jinx have landed the helicopter near a secluded seaside Buddhist temple. Bond has covered her with handfuls of the confiscated diamonds as they enjoy a romantic evening together.

Henry (Steve Martin) and Nancy Clark (Goldie Hawn) are a couple living in a quiet Ohio town. Married for 27 years, their last child Alan (Oliver Hudson) has left home, and Nancy is suffering from empty nest syndrome. Unbeknownst to her, Henry has lost his job due to corporate downsizing and has an interview in New York. Henry has told Nancy that his company has offered him a big promotion and so he needs to relocate to New York, but Nancy can stay in Ohio. At the very last minute, Nancy decides to board the flight and go to NY with Henry. From the moment they depart their hometown of Twin Oaks, Ohio, the couple suffers nearly every indignity out-of-town person possibly could experience: Heavy fog forces their flight to circle around Kennedy Intl. Airport repeatedly and finally be rerouted to Boston's Logan Airport, where they discover their luggage - in which Henry's ulcer medication and Nancy's extra cash are packed - was left behind. Henry didn't eat any airline food. Just missing the train at South Station, they hire a car to drive to New York. The heater on the car wouldn't regulate, and they steam in their own sweat. Meanwhile Nancy is not able to give proper directions and the couple get lost in Manhattan. They eventually turn on the navigation system, but it gets turned to French language and the duo can't understand a word it says. Nancy takes over the driving and due to the misdirection, drives straight into a seafood packing facility. The damage to the car costs $2200. They decide to walk to their hotel and on the way, they meet Andrew Lloyd Webber lookalike, who mugs them on the pretext of borrowing $5 from them to get to his Broadway show, and then taking them into a secluded corner. Luckily, Henry had saved his credit card in his sock. The couple eventually get to the Grand Mark Hotel and meet the night duty manager Mr. Mersault (John Cleese). Henry discovers that his credit card is maxed out. He figures out that Nancy had given one of his cards to their daughter Susan, when she moved out of Med school to pursue a career as an actress. Henry is also mad that Susan threw away $50K in tuition money. Since they didn't have any money, the hotel throws them out. They walk to Susan's apartment, but she is not home. Henry is yelled at for trying to steal an apple and Nancy has dogs set upon her by the suspicious NYC neighbors. They take shelter in a church, which happens to be serving food. But it turns out it is the meeting for a sexual self-help group. Nancy and Henry are asked to participate if they want to have any food. Nancy says that they haven't had sex in over 2 months and Henry says that he has been tense. Henry reveals that he was fired from his job and that he is in NYC for a job interview the following morning. Nancy remembers that she kept travelers checks in her luggage and they go back to the hotel to check if their luggage has been delivered. The luggage is not there, and the couple retires into the bar to have some trail mix. A random guy Greg (Mark McKinney) starts hitting on Nancy, when Henry is in the toilet. Greg is from LA and is about to head out for some work and will be back later that night. Nancy seduces him and gets him to give her his key. Nancy and Henry go to the room and order an expensive dinner. But Greg comes back early, and Henry has to hide. Luckily Greg only forgot his cell phone and leaves. while leaving Greg sees the dinner order coming in and then finds Henry in the room. He threatens to call the police. Henry and Nancy have to run, and they escape by climbing down the open balcony into the room below, with an open door. There Nancy finds Mr Mersault cross dressing in female customers clothes. In the process, Henry and Nancy end up destroying the hotel's electronic facade and the lights go out in the entire hotel. Nancy steals some money from the room, and they run out and get into a cab. The cab driver keeps telling them to get out, but Henry insists that he is not going anywhere. Turns out it was a stolen cab being used as a getaway car in a robbery. After a brief scuffle, the couple has to jump out of the cab in the middle of central park. Henry and Nancy have a huge fight about how they have no common interests now and that they are headed for a divorce. But later they patch up and thinks about how much fun they were, back when they were young. They start having sex in the middle of the park. Shortly thereafter the park is lit up by a nearby function, where an old lady has donated money to the mayor for their "light up the city" campaign. Henry and Nancy are chased by guards for having sex in the open. They take shelter in an abandoned cabin. The next morning Henry is arrested when he goes peeing out in the open, for public exposure. Nancy runs after Henry, but she has no bail money. She calls the hotel and speaks to Mersault. She threatens to reveal that she saw Mersault wearing a female guest's clothes and dancing in her room, if he doesn't come with bail money right away. Henry had a bad headache and accepted aspirin from a fellow inmate. But those were drugs. Going back to the hotel, Henry gets delirious and starts acting strange. Somehow Nancy gets Henry back to the hotel, where Mersault has given them a suite to get Henry ready for his interview. He somehow manages to arrive on time for his interview. Reaching the reception, he is told that the meeting was moved to 9 am and Henry is late. The receptionist called their house in Ohio and their hotel but couldn't get through. Henry is crestfallen. The executive, Ms Tobin is preparing for a client meeting and then flies to London for a week. It's over. But Nancy tells Henry not to give up. Henry snaps at the receptionist and tells her what the couple has been through in the last 24 hrs. He gets the meeting with Ms Tobin. Henry wins the room by suggesting a new tag line "Only in New York", for their new campaign for New York City. Henry draws upon his experiences in the last 24 hours to come up with the tagline. He gets the gig. Henry hires Nancy as his first employee on his own creative team They decide to stay in New York and go to watch Susan perform in the theatre.

In Bilbao, MI6 agent James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) meets a Swiss banker to retrieve money for Sir Robert King (David Calder), a British oil tycoon and friend of M (Dame Judi Dench). Bond interrogates the banker as to the identity of someone who killed an MI6 agent (from whom the money was stolen in the first place. The money was paid by King in exchange for a report that King thought identified terrorists trying to destroy his oil pipeline. But the report turns out to be from the Russian nuclear commission, but the banker is killed and Bond forced to escape. Some unknown assassin helps him escape with the money before he can learn. At the MI6 headquarters in London, the money is revealed to be laced with explosives that kills King (explosive is triggered by a lapel on King's coat). Bond chases the assassin by boat on the Thames to the Millennium Dome, where she attempts to escape via hot air balloon. Bond offers her protection in exchange for the name of the real person behind King's murder, but she refuses and blows up the balloon at the cost of her life. Basically Bond delivered the explosives right to King. Bond has a dislocated collar bone due to the incident, a secret which was known to select people in MI6. Bond traces the recovered money to Renard (Robert Carlyle), a former KGB agent turned high-tech terrorist. Years ago, Renard kidnapped Elektra King (Sophie Marceau) in exchange for a massive ransom demand. The ordeal resulted in a failed assassination attempt by MI6 after M advised King not to pay the ransom, and left Renard with a bullet lodged in his brain which renders him impervious to pain as well as slowly killing off his other senses. Before the events of the film, he was spotted operating in some very politically dangerous countries in the world including but most likely not limited to Afghanistan, Moscow, Russia, Bosnia, Iraq, Iran, Beirut, Cambodia and Pyongyang to start funding his anarchist terrorist operation. Renard now seeks revenge on both the King family and MI6 for his death sentence, as the bullet will kill him when it reaches the center of his brain, a KGB agent-turned-terrorist. The amount recovered by Bond was exactly the amount of the ransom demand by Renard for Elektra. M assigns Bond to protect King's daughter, Elektra King; Bond flies to Azerbaijan, where Elektra is overseeing the construction of an oil pipeline. During a tour of the pipeline's proposed route in the mountains, Bond and Elektra are attacked by a hit squad in armed, para-glider-equipped snowmobiles. Q (Desmond Llewelyn): MI6's "quartermaster" (Last appearance). R (John Cleese): Q's assistant and appointed successor. A humorous James Bond refers to him as "R": "If you're Q....does that make him R?" Bill Tanner (Michael Kitchen): M's Chief of Staff. Miss Moneypenny (Samantha Bond): M's secretary. Bond visits Valentin Zukovsky (Robbie Coltrane) at a casino (where Elektra loses $1MM to Zukovsky in a card game) to acquire information about Elektra's attackers from whom Bond had recovered a parachute branded with Russian Atomic Center, Anti-terrorism Unit. After losing, Elektra says "There is no point in living, if you can feel alive." After seducing Electra, Bond discovers that Elektra's head of security, Sasha Davidov (Ulrich Thomsen), is secretly in league with Renard. Bond kills Davidov and boards a plane bound for a Russian ICBM base in Kazakhstan. Posing as a Russian nuclear scientist, Bond meets American nuclear physicist Christmas Jones (Denise Richards). Jones is at the base removing weapons-grade plutonium from bombs and helps defusing them. Bond is taken underground to inspect the work done so far, to certify it. He finds Renard working in the underground chambers. When confronted Renard tells Bond that he spared Bond's life at the banker's office since Bond was delivering the money on Renard's behalf. Renard distracts Bond with the threat of killing Elektra, and utters the same words that Elektra said to Bond at the Casino. Renard escapes when Jones identifies Bond as a fraud and is attacked by the Russian forces protecting the base. Renard also knew exactly where Bond's shoulder was unhealed. Renard removes the GPS locator card and weapons-grade plutonium from a nuclear bomb. Renard steals the bomb and flees, leaving everyone to die. Bond and Jones escape the exploding silo with the locator card. Back in Azerbaijan, Elektra has called M to take charge when Renard strikes her pipeline. Bond discloses to M that Elektra may not be as innocent as she seems. He suggests that Elektra was the insider who switched the pins on her own father, and hands her the locator card as proof of the theft: an alarm sounds, revealing that the stolen bomb from Kazakhstan is attached to an inspection rig heading towards the oil terminal. The inference being Renard is detonating the nuke in Elektra's pipeline at the behest of the Russians, who have three competing pipelines and would be happy to see her's go away. Bond and Jones enter the pipeline to deactivate the bomb, and Jones discovers that half of the plutonium is missing. They both jump clear of the rig and a large section of the pipe is destroyed. Bond and Jones are presumed killed. Back at the command center, Elektra reveals that she killed her father as revenge for using her as bait for Renard. She abducts M, whom she resents for advising her father not to pay the ransom money. Bond accosts Zukovsky at his caviar factory in the Caspian Sea as he wants to know what did Elektra pay him for at the casino, and they are attacked by Elektra's helicopters. Zukovsky's henchman Bull was secretly working for Elektra and alerts her. Zukovsky reveals his arrangement with Elektra was in exchange for the use of a submarine captained by Zukovsky's nephew, Nikolai. The group goes to Istanbul, where Jones realizes that if Renard were to insert the stolen plutonium into the submarine's nuclear reactor, the resulting nuclear meltdown would destroy Istanbul, sabotaging the Russians' oil pipeline in the Bosphorus. Elektra's pipeline is planned to go around Istanbul, dramatically increasing the value of her own oil. Bond gets a signal from the locator card (which he had given to M) from the Maiden's Tower - just before Zukovsky's henchman Bull (Goldie) blows up the command center. Zukovsky is knocked unconscious, and Bond and Jones are captured by Elektra's henchmen. Jones is taken aboard the submarine, which was seized by Renard's men. Bond is taken to the tower, where Elektra tortures him with a garrote device. Elektra reveals that when her father refused to pay ransom, she seduced Renard and turned him to work for her. Zukovsky and his men seize the tower, but Zukovsky is shot by Elektra. The dying Zukovsky uses his cane gun to free Bond. Bond frees M and kills Elektra. Bond dives after the submarine, boards it and frees Jones. He wants to surface the submarine, but Renard attacks and destroys the controls and the submarine sinks instead. The submarine's hull ruptures as it bottoms in the Bosphorus. Bond fights Renard and kills him. Bond and Jones escape from the submarine, leaving the flooded reactor to detonate underwater. Later, Bond and Jones share a romantic evening in Istanbul and end up in bed together which is being monitored by MI6 satellites.

Zookeepers struggle to deal with the policies of changing directors. Octopus, Inc., a massive corporate conglomerate run by shrewd, cruel tycoon Rod McCain (Kevin Kline), purchases both a UK-based leisure company and also the failing London Marwood Zoo. To bring more business to the zoo, Octopus hires a new manager, Rollo Lee (John Cleese), who promptly comes up with a way to increase profits: do away with all of the animals except the ferocious ones. This new Fierce Creatures Policy shocks the Marwood zookeepers, led by the unendingly talkative Adrian "Bugsy" Malone (Sir Michael Palin). Eventually, Rod McCain's son Vince McCain (Kevin Kline) and up-and-coming business executive Willa Weston (Jamie Lee Curtis), take control of the zoo and revoke the Fierce Creatures Policy. Vince instead comes up with many underhanded, vicious schemes to attract customers: unauthorized celebrity endorsements; shoddy, overpriced zoo merchandise; and using robotic animals instead of real ones. However, Vince is also stealing from the zoo's funds, and when his father finds out, he rears to turn the zoo into a Japanese-owned golf course. Meanwhile, Willa has grown to love the zoo and its animals, and she and her newly-reformed love interest Rollo plot with the zookeepers to save the zoo from the McCains. —Josh Martin <jmartin@netarrant.net> The owner and C.E.O. of Atlanta-based multinational corporation Octopus, Inc., worth $6 billion, is bombastic Aussie transplant Rod McCain (Kevin Kline). Rod's son, opportunistic Vince McCain (Kevin Kline), works for the organization as the marketing manager, despite Rod considering Vince a wuss, Vince just waiting for his father to die so that he can inherit the corporation, and Vince having previously stole from the corporation about which Rod is well aware and for which Vince served time. What Vince doesn't know is that even if Rod has any intention to die--which he doesn't--he doesn't plan to give Vince anything. Rod has a general policy that any of his assets has to net a twenty percent return on investment. Within one of Octopus' recent acquisitions is Marwood Zoo in England. Rod transfers one of his Hong Kong-based employees, straight-laced Rollo Lee (John Cleese), a former Police Officer, to run the zoo, and who just wants to do his job for the corporation, namely net that twenty percent return. As such, his first major change is to implement a policy of only housing what he considers the marquee animals, namely fierce creatures. This new policy does not sit well with the zoo staff, particularly the animal keepers, who do anything to convince Rollo that all of the animals at the zoo are important, while Rollo wants to show his staff at any cost that he is in charge. Rollo and the zoo staff have another enemy with arrivals from Atlanta. Willa Weston (Jamie Lee Curtis) is a new Octopus employee, who wants to run the zoo as Rod sold the asset for which she was hired to head on her first day with the company. Accompanying Willa is Vince, who mistakenly believes that Willa is interested in him romantically. While Willa wants to devise the model of zoo operation for the corporation, Vince has his own ideas of how to make a quick buck for the zoo and thus for himself, moves which sit well with no one but Vince. Willa and Rod, based on circumstantial evidence, mistakenly believe that Rollo is a ladies' man, who has multiple female sex partners during any of his liaisons. They all have yet another enemy when they learn that Rod is coming to England in a move to sell the zoo to a Japanese corporation, who want to replace the zoo on the property with a golf course. Through this entire process, Rollo and Willa come to some revelations about their feelings toward zoos and this zoo in particular, and about each other, which makes their priority to save the zoo from sale so that they can operate it together in their new vision. —Huggo

Victor Frankenstein is obsessed with the idea of a man-made creation. But one night his Creature comes to life and so begins the nightmare that will engulf him and those he loves.

In Medieval Europe, a king named William rules a large and mighty kingdom. But he is sad until his daughter is born. He names her Odette. At the ceremony for his daughter, everyone was invited to the christening, including the queen of another kingdom, Queen Uberta, and her young son, Prince Derek. William and Uberta agree to unite their kingdoms through their children with the plan that they would spend every summer together with the hope of them falling in love and marrying. Unknown to both, is a big threat to their kingdoms. Sir Rothbart, an evil court warlock, looks on and is unconcerned about the birth of the new princess. He plans to overtake William's kingdom by means of the Forbidden Arts. But before he can have the chance to strike, William's guards attack and Rothbart's powers are plunged into darkness. Despite the calls for Rothbart's death, the king decides to banish him. Before he leaves, an enraged Rothbart swears he will return one day with his powers and take everything the king loves. Many fear that William is too kind. But over time, the threat is forgotten. The hopes turn instead to the following summer when Prince Derek and Princess Odette would meet. King William brings Odette to Queen Uberta's castle where she spends the summer with Derek. The two children, knowing they are meant to one day wed, instantly harbor a dislike for each other. Each summer, they resent their time together with Derek and his chap Bromley opting to prank Odette. When they both finally grow up to be young adults and meet again, Derek is struck by the discovery that Odette has grown from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan. Odette also realizes she is now charmed by the prince, and they are smitten with each other. Following a kiss at the ball that night, Derek announces for them to arrange the marriage with cheers from his mother, but Odette asks him to wait. When Derek tells her she is all he ever wanted because she is beautiful, she asks him "what else?" and wants to know if beauty is all that matters to him. Confused, Derek asks her, "What else is there?" Saddened by his response, Odette rejects the marriage and departs with her disappointed father. Derek watches Odette, William, and their carriage leave, and Uberta exclaims about all the wasted years of planning. That night, her head butler, Lord Rogers, advises Derek that he must think of something other than Odette's beauty while Bromley is playing a little game of chess. On the road back to their kingdom, they're ambushed by Rothbart, who has gotten his powers back. Turning himself into the Great Animal, he attacks the king's fleet and kidnaps Odette. The wounded captain makes his way to Derek's castle, informing the prince, his friend, and the head butler of the attack. Upon learning from William's captain of the attack by the Great Animal, Derek races off to find the overturned carriage and mortally wounded king. With his last breaths, William tells Derek that Odette is gone after a great animal attacked them -- that it's "not what it seems." Once William dies, Derek cries out for the loss of Odette, not knowing if she's alive or dead. Following William's own assassination, Odette is shown to be a swan at the lake by the abandoned castle that is revealed to be Rothbart's new hideaway. He informs her that when the moonlight touches the lake each night, she will turn back into a princess. He also reveals that he still wishes to rule over William's kingdom, but he wants to do it legally as her husband, so he doesn't have to fight to keep the kingdom. Odette refuses him and tries to escape, but the court warlock further reveals that no matter where she is, she will turn back into a swan once the moon leaves the lake, leaving her to sob. After searching everywhere with no sign of Odette, Derek's kingdom believes she has perished, but Derek is determined to believe that the "Great Animal" has her and won't give her up without a fight. The next day, he practices daily to make sure he is ready for the battle. Lord Rogers helps Derek and Bromley practice by pulling together the musicians and has them dress up as forest animals, telling them that the servants have a day off. Derek and Bromley are armed with arrows that have harmless, painted balls of cloth instead of tips on them. They use the fake animals for target practice, keeping score of whose color is painted the most on each animal. Derek wins with a hidden spot on the elusive "white rabbit". Rogers then challenges Derek and Bromley to a quick round of "Catch and Fire" to prove that Bromley is as courageous as he claims. Dressed in a suit of armor with an apple tied on top of his helmet, Bromley shoots a single arrow at Derek who stands at a distance away with his back turned. Timing it perfectly, Derek whips around, snatches the arrow from the air and perfectly shots the apple in half, demonstrating his perfect ability as an archer. As Rogers tells Bromley about what it's like to have courage, Derek vows to find Odette no matter where she is. Back at Swan Lake, Odette has made friends with a French frog named Jean-Bob and a tortoise named Speed. Jean-Bob believes he is a prince and that a kiss from a princess will turn him back into his human, prince form. He thinks he needs to cross an alligator-filled moat to retrieve flowers for Odette, and the brave feat will make her want to kiss him. He fails to do so after almost getting eaten, and Odette tells him he deserves a kiss for trying. He agrees, but she explains that because of her spell, she can only kiss the man she loves. The man must then declare a vow of everlasting love to the world and her spell will be broken. She believes Derek is out there working on finding his way to her. Suddenly, an injured Irish puffin bird flies through the trees and collapses. Odette pulls the arrow from his wing and the bird wakes up, believing Odette to be the one who harmed him until he realizes she saved him. He feels indebted to her, introducing himself as Lieutenant Puffin. Odette explains there isn't much he can do because she is under a spell. Just then, Rothbart appears, asking for her hand in marriage again. Odette turns him down, exclaiming that he asks her the same question every night and she gives him the same answer -- "I'll die first." The moon sets, however, and Odette turns back into a swan. Back at the kingdom, Uberta is planning a ball for the following night where princesses from across the mainlands will meet the eligible prince, hoping one of them will sway Derek away from his quest to find Odette, despite Rogers doubting that Derek won't stop unless he finds Odette. Meanwhile, Derek continues to research through books at the library, looking for answers to King William's warning about the Great Animal not being what it seems. He finds a book that helps him deduce that the Great Animal is very likely to be a shapeshifter. He recruits Bromley to join him on a hunt in the woods after promising his mother he would be back in time for her ball, while she orders her first footman, Sir Chamberlain, to help make make the arrangements for the ball and required four royal escorts to escort the Ladies and Lords. Back at Swan Lake, Odette tells Puffin about her spell, and she and Puffin decide to retrieve the map from Rothbart's castle in order to find Derek and bring him back to the lake. After some trouble getting the map from Rothbart's hag sidekick, Bridget, Odette and Puffin are able to set out to Derek's castle. Along the way, they happen upon Derek and Bromley venturing through the woods. When Derek spots the swan, he believes it may be the Great Animal and attempts to shoot her with an arrow. Puffin pushes her away in time and they fly towards Swan Lake with Derek in pursuit. Odette is able to land on the lake and she transforms back into herself as Derek watches. Surprised but relieved to see her, he runs out to greet her in a loving reunion. Odette tells him about Rothbart and her spell, and Derek invites her to the ball the following night so he can declare his vow of everlasting love to the crowd and break her spell. At this moment, Rothbart starts calling out for Odette, who forces Derek to depart before he discovers them. Unknown to Odette, Rothbart heard their entire exchange and tells her she won't make it to the ball because there will be "no moon" that night, to her dismay and sorrow. Fearful that despite her not being there, Derek will still make his vow, Rothbart turns Bridget into Odette and sends her to the ball, plotting that Derek will make his vow to the wrong woman and the real Odette will die as a result. On the night of the ball, he imprisons Odette (who is now in her swan form) in the castle dungeon, along with Bromley, whom he found lost in the woods. Bridget (as Odette) arrives at the ball late and Derek immediately dances with her, happy to see Odette, but unaware it's not her. At Swan Lake, Puffin, Speed and Jean-Bob successfully free Odette from the dungeon, and Odette flies off towards Derek's castle. Through the window, she is shocked to see her doppelganger and desperately tries to break inside, but it's too late. Derek makes his vow to the wrong Odette, and the real one immediately feels the consequences. Rothbart breaks into the castle, crashing Uberta's party. He confronts Derek and reveals that he made his vow to the wrong woman, which is revealed to be Bridget. Derek spots Odette through the window as she weakly flies away. Realizing his mistake, he pursues Odette back to Swan Lake where he finds her transformed as a human again on the ground. Held by Derek, Odette tells him she is weak but knows the vow he made was meant for her. She confesses her love to him before losing consciousness. A furious Derek confronts Rothbart, demanding he shouldn't let her die. Rothbart challenges him to defeat him first, transforming and revealing himself into the Great Animal once more and the perilous battle ensues when Rothbart overpowers Derek and threw him on the ground, nearly killing him. Fortunately, Odette's animal friends are able to retrieve his bow from the lake and get it to him just in time. Bromley, who escaped from his earlier imprisonment in the dungeon, shoots a single arrow to Derek, who catches it in the air and fires it into the Great Animal's chest, sending him crashing to the lake in flash of magic lights. Once Rothbart is killed, Derek returns to Odette's side. Heartbroken, he declares his love to Odette, who wakes up. Happily, they embrace. Derek and Odette get married and unite their kingdoms with the young couple having restored Rothbart's castle and taken residence there. Bridget also redeems herself and falls in love with Sir Chamberlain. At the celebratory ball that night, Odette finally kisses Jean-Bob, and he believes he has turned into a prince when he sees a prince in the fountain water's reflection (when it's actually a real prince hovering over him). Derek pulls his bride onto a bridge overlooking Swan Lake. Odette asks him if he will love her until the day she dies, and Derek responds that he'll love her for much longer. They kiss.

A duke dies and leaves the title and wealth to his adult son. But who's the real son: the found baby raised in USA or the abandoned baby raised by a Hindi family in London? Comedy follows. A member of the English upper class dies, leaving his estate and his business to an American whom he thinks is his son who was lost as a baby and then found. An Englishman who thinks he is an Indian comes to believe that he is actually the heir. He comes to hate the American who is his boss, his friend, and the man who has stolen the woman after whom he lusts. —Mark Logan <marklo@west.sun.com>

Fievel's family decides to move out to the West, unaware that they are falling into a trap perpetrated by a smooth-talking cat. Some time after the Mousekewitz's have settled in America, they find that they are still having problems with the threat of cats. That makes them eager to try another home out in the west, where they are promised that mice and cats live in peace. Unfortunately, the one making this claim is an oily con artist named Cat R. Waul who is intent on his own sinister plan. Unaware of this, the Mousekewitz's begin their journey west, while their true cat friend, Tiger, follows intent on following his girlfriend gone in the same direction. —Kenneth Chisholm <kchishol@execulink.com>

In London, four very different people team up on a jewel heist, then try to double-cross one another for the loot, complicated by their efforts to fool the very proper barrister Archibald Leach. In London, Georges Thomason (Tom Georgeson), his seductive American girlfriend Wanda Gershwitz (Jamie Lee Curtis), and their associate Ken Pile (Sir Michael Palin) are planning their latest crime: a diamond heist that should net them 13 million pounds sterling. They plan to leave the country with the goods after the heist. On Wanda's recommendation, they enlist the help of her weapons-expert brother Otto West (Kevin Kline) for this heist. Actually, Otto isn't Wanda's brother, but her latest lover, a dimwit who gets off on his own body odor and believes he's an intellectual because he reads Nietzsche and does not tolerate being called stupid by anyone. Wanda has one weakness in men which is how Otto was able to get her to be his lover: speaking Italian in seduction. Wanda and Otto plan to double-cross Georges by having him arrested for the heist while they abscond with the jewels. Wanda further plans to triple-cross Otto by eliminating him from the picture after she has the jewels. They are able to get Georges arrested with him not knowing who tipped the off the police, and implicated by elderly eyewitness Eileen Coady (Patricia Hayes). With Georges in jail, Wanda and Otto discover that he has protected his investment by moving the jewels from their agreed location to a hidden one, telling nobody where they are but offering Ken a slight hint. Georges gives Ken, an animal lover with an extreme stutter, the task of killing Mrs. Coady before she is able to testify against him, as she is the Crown's primary witness. Meanwhile, Wanda has her own plan to reach her end goal: seduce George's defense lawyer Archie Leach (John Cleese) and find out Georges' secrets about the heist, including the location of the jewels. Archie may be easy prey for Wanda's seduction, as his wife Wendy (Maria Aitken) is a self-absorbed woman who pays him little attention. Otto might throw a wrench into Wanda's plans if he finds out what she's doing. —Huggo British gangster Georges Thomason (Tom Georgeson) and his hapless aide Ken Pile (Sir Michael Palin) draft a pair of arrogant Americans, grifter Wanda Gershwitz (Jamie Lee Curtis) and weapons expert Otto West (Kevin Kline), for a massive diamond heist. When the job goes badly, Wanda attempts to seduce Georges' stuffy lawyer Archie Leach (John Cleese) to find out where Georges hid the diamonds. Meanwhile, Ken repeatedly attempts to kill an elderly woman who witnessed the robbery. —Jwelch5742 To lend a hand in a bold diamond heist, British criminal mastermind Georges Thomason and his animal-loving right-hand man Ken Pile enlist the help of two siblings: the statuesque Wanda Gershwitz and her loose-cannon Friedrich Nietzsche-quoting brother Otto West. However, after they pull off the robbery in broad daylight, greed takes over, and an anonymous call to the police sends behind bars Georges, the only man who knows the location of the hidden loot. Now Wanda must put her stunning looks to good use and seduce Thomason's unsuspecting barrister Archie Leach in high hopes of finding the jewels. But the seemingly-foolproof plan is already falling to pieces. Is there no honour among thieves anymore? —Nick Riganas Sexy American diamond lover Wanda Gershwitz (Jamie Lee Curtis) and her boyfriend Otto West (Kevin Kline) are in England to plot with Georges Thomason (Tom Georgeson) and Ken Pile (Sir Michael Palin) the robbery of a diamond collection. Wanda and Otto want the stolen diamonds for themselves, and inform the police about Georges, not knowing that he has already moved the diamonds to another secret place. Wanda thinks the best way to find out is by getting close to Georges' lawyer, Archie Leach (John Cleese). —Sami Al-Taher <staher2000@yahoo.com>

The story opens with a man sleeping in a remote cabin in the American Old West. The door to the cabin bursts open and a gunman enters, shooting at the sleeping man, who quickly grabs his pistol and shoots back, killing his would-be killer. The man continues to aim at the sides of the cabin and shoots another man walking outside. Repeated shotgun blasts blow through the roof of the cabin but the man is out of shots for his revolver. He tosses the revolver at the wood burning stove in the cabin and distracts the roof shooter long enough to grab his Winchester rifle. He shoots upward and hits the roof shooter, who falls into the cabin. The man with the rifle, Emmett (Scott Glenn), walks outside and looks over the failed assassins. He also looks at the horses, seeing a familiar brand emblem. Emmett leaves the cabin and continues his journey, taking the branded horse with him. Far out in the desert, he comes across another man, lying on the ground in his long underwear. He gives the man some water and takes him along. Later, as they camp for the night, the man in the underwear tells Emmett that his name is Paden (Kevin Kline) and that he'd been riding with a group of men who looted him and stole his horse. The two stop at an Army outpost where Emmett gives Paden some money to buy proper clothing. Paden suddenly spots his horse and the man who stole it. He ducks into the nearby general store where he has an argument with the shopkeep: lacking enough money to buy a pistol Paden wants to borrow one but the clerk won't let him. Paden asks the man for a gun worth the money Emmett gave him and is given a rusty old pistol that the cylinder falls out of. Paden rushes out to the square and loads the gun; he is spotted almost immediately by the horse thief, who rides toward him, shooting. Paden takes quick but very careful aim and shoots the man off the horse. A few minutes later, while he kisses his horse, Paden is grilled by a US Army sergeant about the shooting. Paden tells the lieutenant to look at the underside of his saddle, where his name is etched. When the lieutenant asks Paden his name, another man in the crowd, Cobb (Brian Dennehy), speaks up and tells the lieutenant how to spell it. The lieutenant checks the bottom of the saddle, confirming Paden's claim and tells the crowd to disperse. He also tells Paden to get some clothes. Cobb loans Paden money to buy clothes and a hat (that has a humorously bent brim). Paden promises to pay Cobb back ("I'm good for it."). Cobb asks Paden to join him in a new business venture further out west. Paden refuses to join Cobb but watches as Cobb meets a scruffy, shady-looking man, Tyree, who's shackles are being removed while he's freed from custody. While Cobb and Tyree ride off, Tyree, in a sinister tone, asks Paden about a dog. Emmett plans to ride to another remote town called Turley, where he'll pick up his brother, Jake (Kevin Costner), and continue to Silverado to meet their sister and her family. After they visit for a while, Jake and Emmett plan to move on to California. Paden agrees to go, especially after Emmett mentions that there's a saloon there, his favorite place. The two arrive and are immediately scolded by a grizzly man, Hobart, who mistakenly calls them Baxter and Holly. Hobart is leading a group of farmers who are heading to Silverado to settle. When the real Baxter and Holly arrive, Paden and Emmett are suspicious of the deal they strike with Hobart. Paden and Emmett sit down to eat in a hotel restaurant. While they eat, a large black man, Malcolm "Mal" Johnson (Danny Glover) walks in and asks for a room for the night and a bottle of whiskey. The woman behind the counter apprehensively gives Mal the whiskey, however the hotel manager tells Mal to leave, saying he doesn't serve Mal's "kind" there. Three other man, eating at another table, suddenly stand up and approach Mal to throw him out. However, Mal is much tougher and smarter and quickly beats all three in a brief fight, causing a fair amount of damage to the restaurant. Just then the town's sheriff, John Langston (John Cleese), walks in and stops the brawl. Though Emmett and Paden offer testimony that Mal didn't start the fight, Langston still orders him to leave town without paying for the damage to the bar, knowing the manager's reputation for bigotry. Mal gathers his things and leaves, taking the only shot of whiskey that wasn't broken in the brawl. Langston sits down with Emmett and Paden, explaining despite his British ancestry, the people of Turley accepted him for maintaining the peace. To that end, he asks them why they're in town. Emmett tells him that he's meeting his brother, Jake, and when he describes him, Langston immediately knows where he is; Jake has been jailed for shooting a man. Jake tells Emmett that it was self-defense (for kissing the wrong woman), however, Langston seems driven by Old West justice and Jake is to be hanged the next morning at 10 am. Though Emmett tells Jake that he can't help him, after he leaves the sheriff's office, Emmett tells Paden he plans to bust Jake out. Paden, however, refuses to get involved and he and Emmett go to the saloon for a drink. In the saloon, Paden spots the man who stole his hat. He also surmises that the man is carrying his Colt revolver. The man stands up slowly and tries to draw but Paden is faster, and he kills him. Langston has Paden thrown in jail with Jake immediately. The next morning, a young boy calls the sheriff out of his office. Langston leaves his deputy behind and follows the boy out; the sheriff's gallows where he'd planned to hang Jake, are engulfed in flames. Back in jail, Jake picks the cell's lock with his belt buckle. When the deputy cautiously enters the cell to investigate he sees only Paden standing there. He's just finished locking Paden's wrists to the cell bars when a boot drops into sight, behind Paden. Paden suddenly punches the deputy, knocking him cold. (Jake had been hiding piggyback on Paden.) The two find their gear and wait outside the sheriff's office for Emmett. They get into a brief gunfight with a few of the town's residents and Langston, who had returned from the burning gallows. Emmett arrives with a couple of horses and the three race out of town, with the sheriff and his posse close behind. When they reach the town's outskirts, Jake, Emmett and Paden are aided by Mal Johnson, hiding in a rock outcropping and shooting with a Henry rifle - Mal is an accomplished sniper and prevents Langston's deputy from shooting Jake and shoots Langston's hat off his head. Knowing that any further pursuit would be dangerous, Langston calls off the manhunt. Mal joins the three and they continue to Silverado. Some time later the team finds Hobart's party, stranded in the scrubland. Baxter and Holly have betrayed them and stolen the strongbox with all their money. The team leaves Jake behind to get the wagon train moving again. Paden, Mal and Emmett ride north, finding a canyon where Baxter and Holly have joined up with their own gang. Emmett rides into the canyon, towing Paden's horse with Paden slung over it, playing dead. Emmett tells the gang's leader, Dawson (James Gammon), that he needs a place to hide out from a posse after robbing a bank in Turley. Dawson is furious that Emmett led a posse to his best hideout and plans to shoot Emmett on the spot when shots are heard from above. Mal and one of the settlers are shooting from the top of the canyon. Emmett frees all of Dawson's stolen horses, causing a ruckus, while Paden ties a rope to the strongbox and rides out, towing it behind him. Emmett follows with Mal and the settler covering the escape. While the three laugh over how well Mal's plan worked, the settler believes they'll betray him and his friends as well, and orders them to hand over the box. He's suddenly shot dead by one of Dawson's men who'd been hiding in the rocks above them; the three return fire and kill him. They ride back and help Jake guide the wagon train to Silverado. That night, Mal, Jake and Emmett share a campfire and Paden hints that he's interested in a woman named Hannah (Rosanna Arquette), the wife of the man who was killed at Dawson's hideout. Mal talks about the horrible work he endured in the slaughterhouses in Chicago and how he's going to Silverado to reunite with his father and his sister on the farm his father has set up. The team guides the settlers to their territory and ride the rest of the way to Silverado. They go their separate ways. Paden goes to the local saloon and is awed when he meets the woman who manages it, Stella (Linda Hunt), who is a former legendary dancer from Virginia, the Midnight Star. She and Paden bond immediately, becoming instant friends. They're both met by Cobb, who reveals that he's sheriff of Silverado, calling the place "heaven." Mal goes to his father's farm, finding it overrun with cattle and family's house burned out. He finds his father, Ezra, hiding out in a nearby cave; Ezra had been run off his land by by the men of a powerful cattle driver named McKendrick (Ray Baker). Ezra also tells Mal that his mother had died of fever the previous summer and that Mal's sister, Rae, is now a prostitute in town. Mal vows to set things right. At Jake and Emmett's sister's house, they reunite with their family. Their brother-in-law, the town's land claims agent, tells them that the town has become corrupted by Cobb's influence. Jake and Emmett are still determined to continue on to California. At night, Mal's father goes out to a nearby stream for water. He's met there by two of McKendrick's men who steal his Henry rifle and kill him. Mal, asleep in the cave where his father had been hiding, hears the gunshots and races down to the stream to find his father dead and his Henry rifle stolen. In town, Cobb meets Paden at the saloon and fires Stella's partner, Kelly, giving his job, security chief for Stella, to Paden. Cobb accuses Kelly of skimming profits and throws him out of the saloon. Paden accepts the job just as Kelly tries to shoot Cobb; Cobb is quicker on the draw and kills Kelly. Paden is unsure of having Cobb as a boss. While a crowd stares at Kelly's body, a professional gambler, Slick (Jeff Goldblum), arrives and inquires about a honest game. Cobb tells him to talk to Paden. Mal goes into town to tell his sister, Rae (Lynn Whitfield), that their father is dead. Rae is mostly unconcerned and isn't happy to see her brother. Mal tries to convince Rae to give up prostitution but she refuses. The settlers that were guided to Silverado hold a large picnic, inviting their rescuers, Jake and Emmett. During the festivities, McKendrick's men attack them, shooting their dogs and livestock and setting fire to their tents and wagons. Several people are shot. Jake and Emmett shoot several of the thugs and drive the rest off; Emmett recovers a Henry rifle from one of them. Back at the saloon, Stella and Paden discuss the liquor she sells, which she shamelessly dilutes, claiming the undiluted spirit is too dangerous. She shows Paden the bottle of the "good stuff" she keeps for special occasions. A disturbance in the bar gets their attention and Paden finds Jake and Cobb's man, Tyree, facing off against each other. Jake had kissed Tyree's woman, Phoebe, angering Tyree. Paden disarms the situation quickly, seizing Tyree's pistol and telling Jake to leave, reminding him about his arrest in Turley. He gives Tyree his gun back, Tyree immediately shoves it underneath Paden's chin, threatening to kill him. Stella talks him down and Tyree leaves. Emmett and Jake's nephew, Augie, rides around town on a horse and is stopped by McKendrick and some of his men. Emmett happens by and returns the horse to McKendrick when he sees the cattle rancher's brand on it, proving the men who attacked Emmett while he was sleeping worked for him. McKendrick was looking for revenge, given Emmett shot his father to prevent him from shooting Jake in the back. The two exchange wary looks and McKendrick rides off. At the saloon, Cobb tells Stella about his history riding with Paden: the two, along with a large group of thieves, had pulled off many robberies together with a small group of friends, including Tyree. A stray dog had joined the group, becoming their mascot. Following a robbery, the dog tripped up Tyree's horse, throwing him off. Tyree had shot the dog and Paden, who never cared for much more than himself, was overcome and stopped to take care of the dog. He was left behind by Cobb and the others, got arrested by the posse & served jail time. Following his telling of the story, Cobb gives Paden his first earnings in the saloon. Cobb suggests that Paden could run the saloon without Stella, however, Paden refuses, saying he'd quit before taking Stella's dream away from her. Cobb tells Paden that Emmett, Jake and Mal are causing trouble in his town. He asks Paden not to interfere with his handling of the situation and Paden apprehensively agrees. Outside town, Emmett is practicing his shooting, using Mal's father's rifle and his own pistol. When he's out of shots, several of McKendrick's men appear, including Tyree, throwing lariats around him, holding him down while Tyree runs him down with his horse. Just as they're about to shoot him dead, Mal appears on a nearby bluff and shoots one of Tyree's men in the hand, and kills another. They're sent back to town on foot. Mal talks to Emmett, telling him that he was looking for him and his father's rifle. Emmett is horribly injured but still needs to find his brother, who will be McKendrick's next target. Mal tells him to stay and rest and that he'll find Jake. Emmett tells him he's in just as much danger for killing the McKendrick's men. Mal talks to his sister, telling her that the men who killed their father are after Jake. Rae has Slick meet Mal, with the time and place to find Jake. When Mal arrives there, Cobb is waiting and has Mal beaten and arrested. While incarcerated, Paden visits Mal, who is distrustful of his friend since Paden works for Cobb. At Jake and Emmett's sister's house, McKendrick has captured them and waits for Jake. Jake returns home and is immediately captured. After he's brought outside, the house is set on fire to burn the land registries. His brother-in-law tries to stop McKendrick's men and is shot. His wife is knocked unconscious as well and Augie is kidnapped, having seen who caused the fire. News of the fire soon reaches the saloon. Paden and Stella rush to the fire; Stella directs her men to help with a bucket brigade headed by Paden, however, the fire has burned beyond control. Cobb appears and says how he hates to see such destruction in his town. He again warns Paden that any interference could be dangerous for Stella. While Stella grills Paden on why he was just sitting around with everything going on, Rae gets word of her brother's capture and steals Slick's dagger, which he conceals in his boot. The deputy Mal shot in the hand brings her to him and tries to "search" her. She stabs the man in the back with Slick's dagger but is shot. Mal grabs the man and forces the dagger deeper into his chest, killing him. As he struggles for the keys to his cell, another of Cobb's deputies enters the room. Mal, virtually unable to see the man at an angle, throws the dagger into his chest, killing him. Meanwhile, Stella figures out why Paden wouldn't act: Cobb was using her as leverage. She said there are always people in the world who think they can push others around. Paden admires her spirit but is still afraid of Cobb hurting her. (STELLA: He can't hurt me...if he's dead.) Phoebe then arrives to show them that Mal freed himself and left his unconscious sister in the storage room. Mal goes back to the cave where he'd left Emmett and tells him the evening's events, particularly about Augie being kidnapped. Overcoming his injuries, Emmett rises to his feet and gears up. Mal does as well, taking both his and his father's rifles. The pair ride out and are joined by Paden. They ride out to McKendrick's house on his cattle ranch. Causing a massive cattle stampede, they take out most of McKendrick's men. Mal takes up a position on the roof of the rancher's house, providing cover as their sniper. Emmett rides to the house and finds his nephew, killing several men. Augie tells Emmett that Jake was killed on the way to the house when he fell off his horse and into a deep ravine. Emmett smiles, knowing that Jake, an acrobat of some talent, would never have such an accident and likely faked his own death. Paden battles several more men in the horse barn and is nearly shot when one thug sneaks up on him with Jake's pistols. As he moves in, Jake swings down on a rope, knocking the man out cold. The two take out the rest of the men in the barn and retreat, Jake finding both Augie and Emmett at the house. Mal is nearly killed himself on the roof, however, he is able to take out his killer after a warning from Paden. The team leaves the ranch and rides for Silverado. At the outskirts of town, the team gears up and leaves Augie at the town cemetery. All four settle their personal scores with Cobb's men: Jake rushes into the saloon, drawing the attention of Tyree and another deputy. The two search the saloon but can't find Jake, who'd been hiding under the platform that Stella has behind the bar. Jake, having removed his boots, sneaks out to find that Tyree and his partner have walked down opposite sides from the front door. Jake calls out to them and shoots them both simultaneously. Mal goes to the store room where Rae lies injured. Slick is there, having traced Stella to Rae. Slick, telling Mal that Rae needs a doctor, tries to kill Mal with a hidden Derringer, however, Mal is too fast. Slick reaches for his dagger, but Mal buries it in his stomach. Emmett rides through town looking for McKendrick and the two begin a furious gunfight on horseback. Emmett is able to take out McKendrick's sniper, but loses his rifle when McKendrick lands a lucky shot, jamming it. Emmett is also shot in the leg by his enemy, dropping his pistol. Emmett lures McKendrick to the other side of town; riding his horse up a loading ramp, he makes his horse jump from a platform, it's hooves hitting McKendrick in the head, unseating & killing him. Paden and Cobb face off in a traditional Old West duel, with Stella looking on. The two say goodbye to each other. Cobb draws first, but is too slow and Paden kills him. Paden slowly re-holsters his pistol. Paden and Stella meet back in the saloon and finally share a drink of the "good stuff." Emmett and Jake say their goodbyes as well and head out for California, like they planned, their brother-in-law and sister and Augie are safe. Mal and Rae head back to their father's farm. As they all leave, Paden now wears the Silverado sheriff's badge and seems likely to marry Hannah, the settler.

The film begins with a stand-alone 17-minute supporting feature entitled The Crimson Permanent Assurance (directed by Terry Gilliam). Set in London, England in present day 1983, a group of elderly office clerks in a small accounting firm rebel against their emotionlessly efficient, yuppie corporate masters. They commandeer their building, turn it into a pirate ship, and sail into a large financial district, where they raid and overthrow a large multinational corporation (before ultimately sailing to the edge of the earth and falling off). The film proper consists of a series of distinct sketches, broken into seven chapters. Part I: The Miracle of Birth A woman in labour is taken into a hospital delivery room, where she is largely ignored by doctors (John Cleese and Graham Chapman) and nurses, who are more concerned with using the hospital's most expensive equipment to impress the hospital's administrator (Michael Palin). The woman in labour notices that hospitals are changing, with "lots and lots of machinery". The Miracle of Birth Part II - The Third World In Yorkshire A Roman Catholic man (Palin) loses his employment. He goes home to his wife (Terry Jones) and an impossible number of children, where he discusses the church's opposition to the use of contraception, leading into the musical number "Every Sperm Is Sacred". Watching this unfold, a Protestant man (Chapman) proudly lectures his wife (Eric Idle) on their church's tolerance towards contraception and having intercourse for fun, although his frustrated wife points out that they never do. Part II: Growth and Learning A schoolmaster (Cleese) and chaplain (Palin) conduct a nonsensical Anglican church service in an English public school. The master lectures the boys on excessively detailed school etiquette regarding the school cormorant, and hanging clothes on the correct peg. In a subsequent class, the schoolboys (Idle, Palin, Jones, Chapman, and others) watch in boredom as the master gives a sex education lesson, by physically demonstrating techniques with his wife (Patricia Quinn). Later, a team of boys is beaten physically and on the scoreboard in a violent rugby match against the masters; the scene then match cuts to Part III. Part III: Fighting Each Other A World War I officer (Jones) attempts to rally his men (Chapman, Gilliam, Palin, Idle, and Cleese) to find cover during an attack, but is hindered by their insistence on celebrating his birthday, complete with presents and cake. A blustery army RSM (Palin) attempts to drill a platoon of men but ends up left alone when he excuses them one by one to pursue leisure activities. In 1879, during the Anglo-Zulu War in Natal, a devastating attack by Zulus is dismissed due to a far more pressing matter: one of the officers, Perkins (Idle), has had his right leg bitten off during the night. The military doctor (Chapman) hypothesises that, despite not being native to Africa, a tiger might be the perpetrator. Ainsworth (Cleese), Packenham-Walsh (Palin) and a sergeant (Jones) form a hunting party, which encounters two suspicious men (Idle and Palin) dressed in two halves of a tiger suit, who attempt to assert their innocence through a succession of increasingly feeble excuses to explain why they are dressed as a tiger. The Middle of the Film A woman (Palin), as if on a talk-show called "The Middle of the Film", introduces a segment called "Find The Fish" a brief surreal piece in which a drag queen (Chapman), a gangly long-armed man (Jones), and an elephant-headed butler eerily challenge the audience to find a fish in the scene. Part IV: Middle Age A middle-aged American couple (Idle as the wife and Palin as the husband) heads to a dungeon-themed Hawaiian restaurant at a holiday resort. They are presented with a menu of conversation topics by their waiter (Cleese), and choose philosophy and the meaning of life. Their awkward and generally uninformed conversation quickly grinds to a halt, and they send it back, complaining "This conversation isn't very good." Part V: Live Organ Transplants Two paramedics (Chapman and Cleese) arrive at the doorstep of Mr. Brown (Gilliam), a card-carrying organ donor, to claim his liver. He protests on the basis that he is not dead, but is nonetheless gruesomely operated on against his will. Cleese's paramedic unsuccessfully attempts to chat up Mrs. Brown (Jones), then requests her liver as well. She initially declines, but after a man (Idle) sings a song about man's insignificance in the universe ("The Galaxy Song"), she agrees. In a large corporate boardroom, a businessman straightforwardly summarises his two-part report on the meaning of life: that the human soul must be "brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation", which rarely happens because people are easily distracted; and that "people aren't wearing enough hats." This is followed by an attempted takeover of the building by the Crimson Permanent Assurance from the short feature. Part VI: The Autumn Years A posh restaurant (complete with a pianist played by Idle, singing "The Penis Song" à la Noël Coward), is visited by Mr. Creosote (Jones), a morbidly obese man in his autumn years. Creosote swears at the unflappable maître d' (Cleese), vomits copiously, and consumes an enormous meal and a huge quantity of beer and wine to the disgust of other patrons. After he has finished, the maître d' offers him a small after-dinner mint; despite initial resistance, Creosote eats it then explodes, showering the restaurant with human entrails and vomit. Part VI-B: The Meaning of Life Afterwards, two of the restaurant's staff clean up the mess left behind by the late Mr. Creosoto and offer their own thoughts on the meaning of life. The maître d' converses with cleaning lady Maria (Jones). The waiter Gaston (Idle) leads the viewer to the countryside where he was born, and explains that his mother encouraged him to notice the beauty of the world and love everyone. Realising that the audience is unamused, he angrily dismisses them and walks off. Part VII: Death A condemned man (Chapman) is allowed to choose the manner of his execution: being chased off the edge of a cliff by a horde of topless women. A depressed autumn leaf "commits suicide" by falling off its tree. Distraught, his wife and children quickly do likewise, followed by the rest of the tree's leaves simultaneously. (Animated segment) The Grim Reaper (Cleese) visits an isolated country house, and finds himself invited into a dinner party. Not knowing who he is, the dinner guests spend a lot of time arguing with him before finally being told they've all died from eating contaminated salmon mousse. Their souls leave their bodies, and they follow the Grim Reaper to Heaven. The dinner guests arrive in Heaven, a bright Las Vegas-style hotel where every day is Christmas. In a large auditorium filled with characters from throughout the film, a cheesy lounge singer resembling Tony Bennett (Chapman) performs "Christmas in Heaven", while bare-breasted women wearing Santa Claus costumes perform an elaborate dance number. The End of the Film The hostess from "The Middle of the Film" is handed an envelope containing the meaning of life, and casually reads it out: "Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations." She retorts that "gratuitous pictures of penises" and other meaningless controversies would do a better job at bringing the audiences into the cinema, and bitterly announces the closing credits.

"How Not to Be Seen": A parody of a government film which first displays the importance of not being seen, then devolves into various things being blown up (anyone who is seen is shot down), much to the amusement of the narrator (John Cleese). The narrator eventually composes himself, says "And now for something completely different," and finds himself being blown up. "Animation - Main Titles:" Animated by Terry Gilliam. "Man with a Tape Recorder up His Nose": Immediately following the main title sequence, a screen appears announcing "The End". An emcee (Terry Jones) steps onto the stage, explains that the cinema overestimated the film length and announces an interval. In the meantime, two short films are shown - one starring a man (Michael Palin) with a tape recorder up his nose (which plays La Marseillaise) and another starring a man with a tape recorder up his brother's (Graham Chapman) nose (with a brief "stereo" segment at the end of the second film, in which both tape recorders are played slightly out of sync). "Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook": A Hungarian gentleman (Cleese) enters a tobacconist's shop and reads from his phrasebook the declaration: "I will not buy this record, it is scratched" (believing it to be a request for cigarettes). Through similar non-sequitur, he and the proprietor (Jones) manage to arrange the purchase of a packet of cigarettes, until the Hungarian's phrasebook-guided English devolves into sexual innuendo ("Do you want to come back to my place, bouncy-bouncy?"). The incident takes a dramatic turn as the tobacconist uses the phrase book to translate the cost into Hungarian - "costs 6 and 6" ("Yandelavasa Grldenwi Stravenka") - and is rewarded with a right cross. The Hungarian gentleman is swiftly arrested for assault, but is released and the author (Palin) of the fraudulent phrasebook is arrested instead. At the author's trial, the prosecutor (Eric Idle) claims that in the book the Hungarian phrase meaning "Can you direct me to the station?" is translated by the English phrase, "Please fondle my buttocks," which leads to the film's first exclusive link, in which another Hungarian (Jones) uses the aforementioned inappropriate English phrase to a local gentleman (Chapman), who then gives him proper directions to the station. "Animation - Land of Hands": An animation depicting cut-out hands as plants and animals. "Animation - A Shaver's Suicide": An older man puts shaving cream all over his own head and cuts it clean off. "Marriage Guidance Counsellor": Arthur and Deidre Pewtey (Palin and Carol Cleveland) attend an appointment with a marriage guidance counselor (Idle), who ignores Arthur's rather tedious explanation of their situation and openly flirts with Deidre, eventually telling Arthur to leave the room so that he can make love to the man's wife. Initially depressed by this turn of events, Mr. Pewtey is berated by a heavenly voice (Cleese), who tells Arthur to "pull his finger out" and thus bolsters his self-confidence... but his attempt to take command of the situation fails miserably (he is told to go away), ultimately leading to a 16-ton weight being dropped on top of him. "Animation - The Carnivorous Pram": A man pushes a baby carriage that devours several old ladies, until an intended victim is saved by the intervention of an irate viewer (the hand of Gilliam and the voice of Connie Booth) - who reaches into the screen, turns the carriage around, and sets it to attack its owner instead. The old lady is carted away by truck, and replaced by a statue: Michelangelo's David. "Animation - David's Leaf": An animated arm tries to remove the fig leaf protecting the aforementioned statue's modesty, and after a brief struggle, succeeds, revealing - not the expected male genitals, but the head of an old woman who demands smut like this not be shown on screen. "Nudge Nudge": Sitting in a bar, a man (Idle) asks another man (Jones) about his wife, with a relentless stream of unsubtle sexual innuendos. It turns out that he simply wants to know, "What's it like?" "Self-Defence Against Fresh Fruit": In a self-defense course, a Sergeant Major (Cleese) teaches his students (Chapman, Jones, Palin, and Idle) how to defend themselves from an attacker armed with fresh fruit. This sketch begins with a nun (Gilliam, dubbed by Booth) saying "Well, I think it's overrated" in response to the previous sketch - another link that is exclusive to this film. "The Colonel's Warning": An uptight Colonel (Chapman) warns the film not to get silly again after the above sketch, and orders the director to cut to a new scene. "Hell's Grannies": A documentary report about disaffected urban behavior, which includes "Hell's Grannies" (antisocial old ladies), "Baby Snatchers" (men dressed as babies, who seize random people off the street) and vicious gangs of "Keep Left" signs, at which point the Colonel stops the sketch for becoming "too silly". "Camp Square-Bashing": An army platoon performs precision drilling (also called "square-bashing") in a highly effeminate manner, which the Colonel again finds silly ("and a bit suspect, I think") and replaces with a cartoon. "Animation - The Prince and the Black Spot": An animation depicts a prince getting a spot on his face, foolishly ignoring it and dying of cancer. The spot then goes out to seek its fortune and marries another spot. "Kilimanjaro Expedition": Arthur Wilson (Idle) goes to Sir George Head (Cleese) to join an expedition to Mt. Kilimanjaro, but the interview rapidly descends into chaos due to Head's unusual case of double vision and another member of the expedition (Chapman) trashing the office. The scene ends when Head is startled to see the next scene coming, as it presumably looks to him like a young woman with four breasts. "Girls in Bikinis": Sexy young women are seen posing in bikinis to the sound of lecherous male slavering, which ends abruptly when the camera pans to Cleese reclining on a desk in a pink bikini and bow tie saying the phrase, "And now for something completely different." "Wanna Come Back to My Place?": A man (Palin) tells a police inspector (Cleese) of a theft, and after an awkward silence, decides to invite said policeman to come back to his place, presumably for sex. After a moment, the policeman agrees and follows the man off. "The Flasher": A man (Jones) in a grubby raincoat appears to be flashing his naked body to women on the streets. He then does the same to the camera, revealing he is fully clothed, and hanging round his neck is a sign saying "Boo!" "Animation - American Defense/Ads": A middle-aged secretary is consumed by hordes of yellow creatures resembling Chinese soldiers during the Cultural Revolution. The segment turns into a series of propagandist advertisements for American Defense, Crelm Toothpaste and Shrill Petrol. This segment abruptly ends when the advertiser for Shrill Petrol (voiced by Palin) is shot off-screen while overstating the effectiveness of his product. "Animation - You'll Never Take Me Alive, Copper!": The murderer of the Shrill Petrol advertiser hides himself in a trashcan, but is subdued when the police drop a 16-ton weight upon him, which leads to the 20th Century Frog and MGM-spoofing logos that introduce the next item. (NOTE: This animation was for "20th Century Vole" in the original TV version.) "Animation - Conrad Poohs and His Dancing Teeth": An animated photograph of Gilliam, in which his teeth dance to the music of Josef Wagner's "Under the Double Eagle". "Musical Mice": Ken Ewing (Jones) has "musical" mice, reputedly trained to squeak at specific pitches. He announces they will play "Three Blinded White Mice", but he simply starts hitting them with huge mallets while humming the tune himself. His audience is enraged and chases him out of the nightclub. "It's the Arts": The audience chases Ewing into a television studio, interrupting a talk show (presented by Idle) in which an interviewer (Cleese), attempting to create a rapport, calls his subject - film director Sir Edward Ross (Chapman) - increasingly inappropriate nicknames: "Ted", "Eddie Baby", "pussycat", "angel drawers", and "Frank"... claiming "President Nixon had a hedgehog named Frank." When he finally starts using less questionable names for his guest and the guest is finally convinced to discuss his latest film, he quickly tells him to shut up... at which point Ken Ewing reappears in the studio, still being chased by the angry mob, and escapes through an exit onto the streets. "Seduced Milkmen": A milkman (Palin) gets seduced at the door of a house by a lovely woman (Cleveland), and follows her inside, only to get locked in a room with other milkmen, "some of whom are very old." "The Funniest Joke in the World": Ernest Scribbler (Palin), who is shown writing the revelation to the previous sketch and discarding it, has a sudden inspiration and writes a lethal joke - anyone hearing or reading it will literally "die laughing". It is acquired by the British army who translate it into German, creating a devastating weapon that wins the Second World War. (NOTE: This sketch is considerably shorter than in its original TV version.) "Animation - Old Lady Waiting for the Bus": In another link exclusive to this film, an animated man (based on a portrait of Henry VII of England, voiced by Cleese) attempts to apologize for the poor taste of the previous item, but is distracted by an animated woman flashing her nude body to him, and departs (on his fingers) to chase after her. An old woman then arrives on the scene and attempts to catch a bus, but it drives past. A second bus comes along, but it, too, drives past. When a third bus comes, the woman trips it with her foot and flips it over so she can board it. "Animation - The Killer Cars": In an overzealous attempt to curb overpopulation, cars turn vicious and begin eating people. Eventually, a giant mutant cat is created to deal with this menace. This plan works perfectly - the city is saved - until the cat starts eating buildings. Another exclusive bit to this film alludes to a cataclysmic battle against the giant mutant cat occurs off-screen, narrated by an old man (Idle) who describes it as "a scene of such spectacular proportions that it could never in your life be seen in a low budget film like this... if you notice, my mouth isn't moving, either." "Animation - Dancing Venus": The mutant cat from the previous animation falls into a sausage grinder, with a number of other animals. The resulting "product" leads into the hair of Botticelli's Venus, who stands on her shell... until an arm comes out of the water and twists her nipple like a radio knob. Upbeat music plays, and Venus dances wildly until her exertions cause the shell to tip over, leading to (by way of Venus falling into a fish tank)... "The Dead Parrot": Eric Praline (Cleese) attempts to get a refund for his deceased parrot, but the shopkeeper (Palin) refuses to acknowledge the parrot's passing on. In another sketch that proves to be much shorter than its original TV counterpart, a twist ending has the shopkeeper revealing that he never wanted to be a pet shop owner, he always wanted to be... "A LUMBERJACK!" "The Lumberjack Song": The shop owner (Palin) sings about his desire to be a lumberjack, as well as his tendencies toward transvestism, the latter a revelation that both surprises and dismays his best girl (Booth) and the background singers (nine Canadian Mounties - five of whom are Chapman, Cleese, Idle, Jones and Gilliam), who ultimately storm off in disgust and pelt him with rotten fruit. As the owner leaves in defeat, in another link exclusive to this film, he passes by a group of old ladies roasting Cleese on a spit, who once again proclaims, "And now for something completely different." "The Dirty Fork": The employees of a restaurant (Jones, Palin, Idle, and Cleese) react with ever-increasing melodrama to a dirty fork given to a dining couple (Cleveland and Chapman), resulting in the horrible death of the head waiter (Idle) as well as an insane attack by the chef (Cleese). After a brief chaos, a punchline is then shown, in which Chapman turns to the camera and says "Lucky that I didn't tell them about the dirty knife!" "Animation - Musical Interlude": A picture of Rodin's The Kiss appears, with the addition of several small holes along the woman's leg. The woman straightens her leg out, and the man plays her like an ocarina. "Animation - How to Build Certain Interesting Things" (exclusive to this film): Garbage is dropped on a stage and banged repeatedly with a hammer. It takes on the shape of a wheeled arm holding a gun, which rolls into the next scene. "Bank Robber": A bank robber (Cleese) mistakes a lingerie shop for a bank, and attempts to rob it. After the shop owner (Idle) stymies his hopes of stealing large quantities of money, the robber is somewhat put out by his error, and makes do with a pair of panties. "River Link" (exclusive to this film): Cleese walks through a river to reach his desk and state (for the last time in the film), "And now for something completely different." "People Falling Out of High Buildings": An office worker (Idle) sees people falling past the window, but his co-worker (Cleese) is uninterested, until they realize there is a board meeting occurring up stairs and wager whether Parkinson will be next. A man played by Chapman then writes a letter of complaint, but just as he writes "I have worked in tall buildings all my life, and have never once--", an unknown force propels him screaming out of a tall building. "Animation - The Metamorphosis": A grimy-looking caterpillar in a trench-coat with human-like features goes to sleep and wakes up as an effeminate male butterfly. "Animation - The Three People" (exclusive to this film): Three people walk in snow and then, one at a time, sing the title of the next sketch in harmony (sung by Jones, Palin, and Cleese). "Vocational Guidance Counselor": Herbert Anchovy (Palin) no longer wants to be a chartered accountant, and harbors dreams of being... "A LION TAMER!" The counselor (Cleese) suggests that Anchovy should instead work his way up to lion taming, via banking, an idea which Herbert initially rejects, until he is informed that the animal he thinks is a lion is in fact an anteater, and mere stock footage of a lion scares the life out of him. He desperately cries out that he just wants to see his name in lights, and his wish is granted by a magic fairy (Idle in drag with a mustache). "Blackmail": Herbert is initially mystified by his sudden role of hosting the television show "Blackmail", in which he threatens various citizens with revealing sensitive information dealing with their sex lives unless they pay him increasingly large sums of money. He gets into the idea very quickly, performing his new, albeit questionable, duty with enthusiasm and panache. (NOTE: Terry Jones makes his debut here as the nude organist, after Terry Gilliam had previously performed the role on the TV show.) "The Battle of Pearl Harbor": The silly-hating Colonel appears again (having called in to the previous sketch due to being one of its target victims), and introduces a group of women who are members of the Batley's Townswomen's Guild (the Pythons in drag) - led by one Rita Fairbanks (Idle) - who re-enact the attack on Pearl Harbor... or, rather, beat each other with their handbags while rolling in mud. "Romantic Interlude": Brian and Elspet (Jones and Cleveland) begin ravishing each other on a bed, and several suggestive images are shown (an industrial chimney collapse shown in reverse, a train entering a tunnel, a torpedo being fired, etc.), but the images are actually only films being played by Brian, on a projector propped on the bed. Elspet testily asks whether he is actually going to do something or just show films all night. Brian replies with "Just one more, dear", and proceeds to show the next and final sketch. "Upper Class Twit of the Year": Five mentally deficient members of the landed gentry go through a challenging obstacle course, with such events as: walking along a straight line; jumping over a wall made of two rows of matchboxes; and slamming a car door loudly. The winner will be the first competitor to shoot himself in the head. (In the process, one twit is so inept that while attempting to back up a car, he somehow manages to run himself over.) "Animation - End Titles:" The end credits, rendered in Terry Gilliam's typically absurd style. The various "characters" seen in the credits are taken from various other animations that were seen in the series.

The world's richest man and his adopted hobo son set out to test the limits of human vanity and greed through a series of "money games". Sir Guy Grand adopts homeless bum Youngman to be heir to his obscene wealth, and immediately begins bringing him into the intricacies of the family business, which is to prey upon people's greed by use of the vast holdings of the Grand empire. They leave no stone unturned as sporting events, restaurants, art galleries, and traditional pheasant hunts turn into lurid displays of bad manners and profiteering. Things climax at the social event of the season, the inaugural voyage of the new pleasure cruiser, "The Magic Christian". —Ed Sutton <esutton@mindspring.com>