Kid Rock

The story starts off with a race, a race including Smoke, the King of Cali. Alongside him are the other members of his bike gang, the Black Knights, including Kid, a prospect. Kid, whose father is Smoke's mechanic/best friend, is anxious and impatient to start his life as a member of the Black Knights. He wants his father to look at him the same way he looks at Smoke. Kid's dreams are shattered, however, when Smoke's race gets out of hand and his father is hit + killed. Flash forward to a year later, where a now cocky Kid has joined forces with Stuntman. The two have been traveling California, hustling other racers out of their money. After another routine hustle, Kid runs into Smoke, and challenges him to a race. Smoke refuses, stating that Kid needs to join a gang and win some races before he'll be up to his standards. Prompted by Smoke's refusal, Kid forms his own gang -- the Biker Boyz -- with only three members, himself, Stuntman, and Primo, another free lance racer. The three set off, immediately building a following and gaining prospects. Along for the wild ride is Tina, a feisty young woman, who is drawn to Kid by is incessant devotion to her. During an annual party, Kid and Smoke are both enlightened by Kid's mother that Will, the man who raised Kid, is not his real father -- Smoke is. Smoke is shocked, but Kid couldn't be more angry. After fighting with his mother, he leaves home and moves in with Tina, determined to beat out Smoke and the Black Knights. Unable to wait for success, Kid begins hustling again, despite it being against code. After Smoke saves him from being killed by another gang in Fresno, Kid challenges him to a race, the stakes being the end of racing for both of them. The gangs travel to Fresno, where Kid races Dogg. The race ends badly and it looks as if Kid won't be able to race against Smoke the next day, seeing as his bike is totaled. Dogg, however, comes through and lends Kid his bike, with hopes that Kid will beat smoke and put an end to his reign as King of Cali. The next day, the two gangs meet up and set their terms before Kid + Smoke head off to the path they'll be racing on. The race starts normal for Kid, but Smoke has already gone in the zone, everything but the road ahead of him blurring out of vision. Suddenly, Smoke's tunnel of thought is filled with memories, of everything since the night Will was killed. During this, Kid comes into the zone, his mind focusing on nothing other than the road. As the two edge closer to the finish line, Smoke lets up, allowing Kid to beat him. As the movie ends, Kid and Smoke come to an understanding, and Kid allows Smoke to keep his helmet and his right to race.

Joe Dirt (David Spade) is an irrationally optimistic, 30-ish, southern-rock and muscle-car-loving, mullet-sporting, lovable loser working as a janitor at an L.A. radio station. Finding Joe an irresistable target for his sarcastic on-air wit, a Howard Stern-like deejay named Zander Kelly (Dennis Miller), puts Joe on the air to tell his story. For three days Zander and a growing legion of listeners are surprised to find themselves captivated, delighted, and occasionally repelled by Joe's incredible tale of his search to find the parents who referred to him as "Joe Dirt" (rather than by his real last name, which he can no longer remember) and left him sitting in a garbage can at the Grand Canyon when he was 8 years old. Thorughout the film, the story reverts for short periods back to the KXLA studio for dialogue between Joe and Zander. Pivotal to Joe's story is the past relationship he reveals between himself and Brandy (Brittany Daniel), a beautiful farm girl from his adopted hometown of Silvertown, Idaho. Joe feels that Brandy and his dog, Charlie, were the only real friends he ever had. After living in and leaving a series of bizarre foster homes, Joe met Brandy one winter when he was living in the woods outside Silvertown and Charlie's testicles became frozen to the front porch of Brandy's house. Brandy helped Joe and Charlie and for the next few years the three spent most of their time together. Believing that Brandy is "too hot" to ever love a guy like him, Joe is blind to the fact that she obviously has very real feelings for him. Complicating their relationship is Brandy's alcoholic father (Joe Don Baker) and the local Trans-Am-driving bully, Robby (Kid Rock). Brandy's father kills Joe's dog after it fails in a Lassie-like mission to free the father when he gets stuck on railroad tracks, resulting in the loss of his leg. The death of Charlie causes Joe to feel that he needs to take up the search for his mother and father. Joe is certain they did not leave him intentionally and must be looking for him too. His travels take him first to a town where Joe gets a job wearing a sandwich board advertising a local dental clinic. As he is working, Joe meets a kind older woman (Angela Paton) who is just about to put a mint condition 1969 Plymouth Hemi GTX convertible for sale. Admiring her car Joe tells her part of his story. Having recently lost her abusive police sketch artist husband to a tragic "accident" ("I pushed him into the woodchipper," she whispers), she sells Joe the car for the change in his pockets. She also gives him the idea of hiring a sketch artist to make pictures of his parents to aid in his search. Before Joe can enjoy his dream car, he is sent to the roof of the dental clinic to secure a promotional hot air balloon. While Joe is in the balloon's basket, high winds cause the balloon to break free and Joe sails away. He is eventually knocked from the basket when it collides with an oil derrick in the Dakotas. Needing $360 to hire a sketch artist, Joe sees it as a cosmic sign that his search will succeed when he discovers the oil company is paying $360 dollars a week for work on the rig. Joe is a disaster as a rough neck and an outcast from the other workers, resulting in him being both fired after one week and beaten up by fellow worker Zeke (Lee Walker). Joe next spends the night in what he mistakenly believes is a circus tent. It is really a fumigation tent. The the next day, high on insecticide fumes, Joe wastes his $360 on sketches of what appear to be Father Time and serial killer Richard Ramirez. Joe next decides to locate his parents through the use of an "Indian tracker." On a local reservation he encounters and befriends Kicking Wing (Adam Beach), the young proprietor of an unsuccessful roadside fireworks stand and aspiring veterinarian. Joe, who it appears is quite an afficianado on the topic of fireworks, encourages Kicking Wing to diversify into more spectacular wares than the "snakes and sparklers" he currently offers. While at Kicking Wings, Joe discovers what he believes to be an atomic bomb and, strapping it to his back with duct tape, uses it to blackmail a Grand Canyon tour bus company out of its list of passengers on the day his parents left him at the canyon. Joe intends to use the list to find people with photos that might show him or his parents. Joe gets the lists but the "bomb" turns out to be an RV septic tank and Joe ends up covered in rotten sewage. Joe then goes to work for a traveling carnival as a means to travel the country tracking down people on the list. Back in the town from which he left in the balloon, he meets the seductive Jill (Jaime Pressley), a single mother who shares his affinity for southern rock, Hemis and mullets. Joe goes to the local impound yard to retrieve his GTX where a greasy attendant (Kevin Nealon) informs him the impound fee is over $3000. Unable to pay, Joe buys a rusty, fume-spewing 69 Dodge Daytona and informs Jill that his real car is unavailable because he's having a "footprint gas pedal installed." After making out with Jill, Joe discovers that she may actually be his long lost sister and he is faced with the decision of whether to go ahead and sleep with her. He discovers she is not in fact his sister and the rocking headboard indicates the two egage in some vigorous action. At this point the story reverts from the past to the present and Joe makes a phone call from the LA radio station to Brandy. He leaves a message on her machine saying, "Hey, Brandy, it's Joe. I'm out in L.A. They got me on the radio station telling my story to everybody. I didn't get to the sad part yet. I'm guessing you had reasons for doing what you did. And I guess I'm just calling to say goodbye. I miss you, Brandy." Joe then continues to tell his story to Zander. Joe leaves Jill to continue on his cross-country effort to track down every person on the bus list and look at their photos. This results in Joe being held prisoner in Indiana by "Buffalo Bob" a fishnet stocking weaing psychopath who intends to turn Joe's skin into an overcoat (ala "Silence of the Lambs"). Joe is rescued, and among Bob's photographs Joe discovers one which shows his parents' car with a Louisiana license plate. Joe goes to New Orleans and takes a job as a janitor at an elementary school. Here he meets fellow janitor Clem (Christopher Walken), whose past is a little unclear. When a student accidentally makes "killer mustard gas" and the class is nearly overcome, Clems rescues them. In a clear attempt to avoid the spotlight he tells everyone it was Joe. At the resulting news conference Joe tells reporters of his search for his parents and also reveals that it was actually Clem who was the hero. That night mafia hitmen arrive at Clem's house. Joe comes to the scene the next morning to find police removing the dead bodies of Clem and his attackers. As Joe mourns over the covered body of Clem, Clem reveals to Joe that he is not actually dead but is being relocated again as part of the Federal witness protection program. Joe takes a new job at an alligator farm and befriends the farm's owner (Rosanne Arquette) who inherited it from her parents when they were killed by a gator. She hates her life there and wishes a man would come along and take her away. Joe enthralls tourists with his death-defying act of placing his head into the mouth of a huge gator. This of course results in Joe nearly being eaten. As Joe is reviving from his encounter with the gator, he remembers that his real last name is "Nunamaker." With this final bit of information Joe learns his parents were from Baton Rouge. Joe arrives at his parents' home to find it condemned and abandoned. A backwoods Cajun (Blake Clark) tries to remind Joe that "home is where you make it," but Joe is unable to understand him through the thick accent. Joe is heart-broken. As he is lying on the ground staring at the moon he realizes he had a home in Silvertown with Brandy and that he needs to return. He calls her and gets the answering machine. He leaves a message saying he is returning, but the message is deleted by Robby. As Joe walks into Silvertown he is met by Robby and his toadies. Robby tells Joe that he is marrying Brandy and that Brandy found Joe's parents in California. He says Brandy doesn't want to see Joe. Joe doesn't beleive this but Robby shows Joe a note, signed by Brandy with X's and O's, saying she found Joe's parents but that Robby shouldn't tell Joe if he calls. Joe walks away pretending not to be crying while Robby continues to insult him. The scene returns to Zander Kelly's studio. Zander is incensed that Brandy would treat Joe that way and insists on getting Brandy on the phone. Brandy is put on the air and Zander confronts her about her note to Robby. Brandy admits she wrote it but only because she wanted to tell Joe in person, and months went by and Joe never came home. Brandy then tells Joe that his parents were killed the day they were at the Grand Canyon. She says Joe should come home to Silvertown and let her take care of him. Joe is next shown as having become a media sensation. Before returning to Silvertown he makes an appearance on the television show "TRL" with Carson Daly. While Joe is on TRL a women calls in and claims to be his mother. Joe believes the call is legitimate and he goes to a trailer in Simi Valley, CA, to meet his parents. Joe discovers that his mother (Caroline Aaron) and father (Fred Ward) are alive, but that they left him on purpose and have only contacted him to get publicity for their online business. Joe storms out of his parents' trailer. Joe threatens to kill himself by jumping off a bridge in LA. The crowd and police implore him to reconsider and to come down from the bridge railing. Joe says that he has no one and that everyone lies to him. Brandy arrives and Joe confronts her about lying to him about his parents' death. Brandy admits the lie but explains that after she met his parents and discovered what horrible people they were she wanted to protect Joe from them. Brandy expresses her love for Joe and her desire to marry him and start a family. At that moment Joe is roped by a policemen with a bungee cord. This causes Joe to fall off the bridge. The bungee cord breaks his fall, but as he rebounds he hits his head on the bridge and is knocked unconscious. Joe awakens in Silvertown to find Kicking Wing, Clem and the alligator farm owner all standing by his bed with Brandy. Kicking Wing has become a successful fireworks entrepeneur based on Joe's advice and Clem has taken a new name and been relocated to Silvertown. He and the farm owner are planning to be married. Brandy has also given Joe a surprising new haircut and bought a new dog, "Charlie II." Joe realizes he now has a loving family and real friends. The film ends with all five racing off in Joe's convertible, leaving Robby in a cloud of dust and gravel.

Frank Detorre is a widowed slovenly zookeeper at the Sucat Memorial Zoo in Rhode Island. Much to the frustration of his young daughter, Shane , he eats compulsively unhealthy and has minimal concern for germs or disease. While trying to eat a hard-boiled egg with mayonnaise and salt, it is stolen from him by a chimpanzee. He gets it back, but not before it falls into the filth of the chimp's habitat. When Shane is disgusted by him about to eat it he uses the "ten second rule" as a justification for the unsanitary act. Inside Frank's body, Osmosis "Ozzy" Jones, an agent of the Frank PD, is an adventure-seeking white blood cell with a good sense of humor. He is a rebel cop, frequently disobeying authority to do what he thinks is right. He is often mocked by his fellow cops due to his rebellious nature. He has been relocated to the mouth to fight against germs entering the body via ingestion after he induced Frank to vomit all over Shane's science and P. E. teacher, Mrs. Boyd at the school's science fair. This was considered a false alarm because he had been the only one to suspect an incoming pathological threat from the raw oyster Frank had eaten from one of the displays. After several newcomer germs, believed to be gingivitis, hijack a "squad car" in the mouth, Osmosis and another officer in an FPD helicopter, are pulled into the lungs by a massive yawn while in pursuit. After the germs evade capture and pass into "Immunity's" jurisdiction, Osmosis disobeys direct orders as he pursues the germ on foot and accidentally triggers a major cramp in Frank's leg. Meanwhile, Mayor Phlegmming is preparing for re-election, campaigning with the promise of more junk food. His reckless policies are largely responsible for Frank's deteriorating health, but his re-election hopes are complicated by the arrival of Thrax, a deadly virus that came with the hard-boiled egg. In an attempt to cover up the severity of the situation, Phlegmming "tells" Frank to take a cold-suppressant pill. The pill, Drixenol "Drix" Koldreliff, arrives in the body and covers Frank's infected throat with a disinfectant to soothe the irritation. Osmosis is assigned as Drix's partner, much to their mutual chagrin. Later on, an influenza virus tells Osmosis and Drix about Thrax's plot to masquerade as a common cold while at the same time plotting to kill Frank with a high fever. Osmosis and Drix confront Thrax in a club in one of Frank's zits, where Drix launches a grenade of medication at Thrax and his goons, popping the skin blemish, killing nearly all of Thrax's men, and seemingly ending the virus's siege. The pop of the zit further aggravates Mrs. Boyd, when Frank comes to apologize for his earlier action of vomiting on her at the science fair. Thrax survives the explosion and after killing off his remaining henchmen, launches a lone assault on Frank's hypothalamus gland (the portion of the brain that controls the temperature) by disabling its self-regulative capabilities. There, he uses his virus-infecting claw to destroy the protoplasmic barrier around the gland and takes a DNA bead. Soon after, the mayor's secretary, Leah Estrogen, discovers his sabotage and alerts security. Thrax manages to evade them, taking Leah hostage and escapes from the brain to the mouth. Meanwhile, the temperature continues to rise, causing chaos to break out all over the City of Frank. Frank is taken to the hospital under the influence of Thrax's attack. Ozzy and Drix rescue Leah and confront Thrax, who leaves Frank's mouth after causing confusion using pollen. Osmosis and Thrax fight on one of Shane's eyeballs and end up on Shane's false eyelashes after she blinks, which she was wearing atop her natural ones on her way to a hiking trip. During the fight, Thrax threatens to kill Shane, but Ozzy causes him to knock Shane's false eyelash into a vessel of alcohol below, where he dissolves. During this time, the situation becomes even more dangerous when the temperature hits 108 degrees Fahrenheit, causing Frank to go into cardiac arrest. Just as doctors give up, Frank is revived when Ozzy returns to his body with one of Shane's tears with the missing hypothalamus chromosome. Ozzy is reinstated into "Immunity" with full privileges, he and Drix are declared heroes with the Chief of Police giving Ozzy his job back. Having survived Thrax's attack, Frank has begun to improve his diet and personal hygiene. Meanwhile, Phlegmming has lost his position as mayor and is now a janitor in the bowels. He accidentally ejects himself from the body via the rectum by touching a button that is important and marked "DO NOT TOUCH!" which triggers Frank's farting.