M.C. Gainey

Director Simon West and Nicolas Cage team-up for the first time since the 1997 blockbuster CON AIR for STOLEN, a unique fast paced action thriller that takes place during 10 frantic hours on Mardi Gras day in New Orleans. The film also stars Josh Lucas, Danny Huston, Malin Akerman, Sami Gayle, Mark Valley and M.C. Gainey. The story follows Will Montgomery (played by Nicolas Cage), a master thief who has been sent to prison for 8 years after being double-crossed in a heist gone awry. Upon his release, hes ready to leave his criminal past behind and rebuild his relationship with estranged daughter, Alison Loeb (played by Sami Gayle). Montgomery`s former criminal cohorts and FBI agent Tim Harlend (played by Danny Huston), are all convinced that the loot, totaling $10 Million dollars worth of bonds, was hidden away by Montgomery before he was sentenced. In order to get his hands on it, former partner in crime, Vincent (played by Josh Lucas), kidnaps Alison and demands the loot as ransom; keeping her in a soundproofed trunk of a taxi cab on Mardi Gras day where she is nearly impossible to be discovered. Montgomery has only one day to deliver the $10 Million ransom, but much to the disbelief of both Vincent and the FBI, he does not actually have it. Montgomery is left with only one choice: To trust his instincts and join forces again with another old partner in crime, the beautiful, sexy and smart Riley Jeffers (played by Malin Akerman). Together they must pull off one more heist so he can get his daughter back before its too late. ``I think the cast is outstanding and what makes one movie better or stand out from another is really the screenplay and cast. On top of that we have a master filmmaker of this genre and someone who will keep shooting until he`s got it- someone who`s a perfectionist which I prefer to work with``. - Nicolas Cage

The movie opens with a warning: "The performers in this movie are professionals. Please do not attempt to perform these activities at home. If you attempt to drink this much, you will die." It opens with a man and another man engaged in a game of quarters. The other man tells him that he's tired of losing all his money to him and that this is a winner take all competition. This man's name is Jan Wolfhouse. He manages to successfully flip the coin into the very narrow flower vase full of beer. The other man - Jan's father, drinks the beer down without fail. Jan's brother Todd shows up and their father is talking about how he's berating Jan in a friendly beer drinking competition. Todd informs the both of them that everyone is waiting. It's then revealed that everyone is at a funeral for the patriarch of the family - Johan Wolfhouse. Johan is in the hospital hooked up to a machine. He gives his own eulogy via a pre videotape where he gives his final wishes while downing a beer for each one of them. One was for his mother who he always knew would outlive him, the other is for his grandsons Todd and Jan, and for them to take good care of the family restaurant. The final one is to himself. He then entrusts Jan and Todd with his most prized possession - a German doll wearing leiderhosen that he calls "Bobo". At the end of the video, Johan pulls his own cord and he falls over and dies. Later that day, Johan's mother - Great Gam Gam is telling Jan and Todd what to do with Johan's remains. It's then revealed that they are to go to Munich, Germany during a special festival where they are to place Johan's ashes among the remains of their elders. That special festival happens to be Oktoberfest. At Oktoberfest, they are to meet a man who is named Mr. Schniedelwichsen, who is to take them to the family resting place where they are to place Johan's remains with the remains of their elders. At Oktoberfest, Jan and Todd are drinking quite heavily and are becoming friendly with the other tourists who are in town for the festivities. As they sing the beloved drinking songs of their country, Jan and Todd somehow manage to offend the entire Oktoberfest community with a rendition of "99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall". As they manage to escape the chaos that ensues, which they themselves had caused, and set off a Rube Goldberg style chain of events that causes the entire tent to collapse, they finally meet their contact that Great Gam Gam had managed to hook them up with. He then takes them from the chaos of Oktoberfest to an underground layer. That layer happens to be the home of a secret competition called "Beerfest". As Jan and Todd marvel at the competition that's called Beerfest, they are stunned to learn that there is an actual competition involving the drinking games they love - quarters, beer pong, upside down chug, and so on and so forth. It's later revealed that there is no USA team - they're laughably unqualified among international drinking teams because as comes with heavy drinking and Americans so does some heavy fighting. As the competition ends, the German team manages to defeat the Irish team with a game called "Das Boot" - where the team drinks with a huge cup that's shaped like a shoe. The game ends, Jan and Todd cheer on the German team. It's then learned that Jan and Todd share a common ancestry with the German team. But they are not amused as the German Wolfhause squad tells the Jan and Todd that Johan had stolen a beer recipe that was regarded as the best beer recipe that's ever come out of Germany. Jan and Todd challenge their German relatives to a drinking contest only to be humiliated. They're then greeted by the German patriarch of the Wolfhause family who then proceeds to give Johan the proper memorial that they feel he deserves (hint: it's not flattering). They also refer to Great Gam Gam as a prostitute. But Baron Wolfhouse reveals he's the first born, not Johan, and orders the guy who brought them to Beerfest killed. Jan and Todd are then humiliated and knocked out. Back at home, Jan and Todd are in denial about Great Gam Gam being a prostitute. They then decide that they're going to honor her honor and their late grandfather's honor. They are going to train for an entire year and go back to Germany where they are going to lay the smack down on the German team. They decide that they're going to get the best beer gamers, the fastest chuggers and they're going to give the German team a run for their money in the next Beerfest. The first one they set about finding is a guy they simply call "Landfill". Real name is Phil Krundel. Landfill rightfully earned the nickname because he is essentially a human garbage disposal and can eat and drink anything and hold his weight appropriately. They first find Landfill at the county fair's hot dog eating contest, where he is dominating the competition. In his past, Landfill was involved in an infamous incident from the brewery (involving him guzzling beers that came off the assembly line) that he was working in that got him fired, arrested, and had him spent some time in jail where he found religion and became a changed man. Landfill tells Jan and Todd that he would give it all up if it meant reclaiming his former glory. Jan and Todd explain to him that this is his opportunity and he's ecstatic. The next member of the team that they find is Dr. Charles Finklestein, aka Fink. They meet Fink in the lab that he's working in. Landfill has a "get a load of this guy" moment as Fink, an acclaimed scientist and devout Jewish man, is seen collecting the male fluid specimens from a toad. Todd assures Landfill that Fink can beat the boot because he has studied everything about everything, including beer. Fink has two Ph.D's and a nice house with a two car garage. Fink doesn't believe Jan and Todd until they explain that he will be competing against the German team. He then tells the three of them that they've got 15 minutes to explain more. The final member of the team is Barry Badrinath. Barry and Todd had a fallout in college when Barry had a sexual affair with the woman who Todd would later go on to marry. Todd has held a grudge against Barry ever since. But Barry has fallen on hard times. His pimp won't cut him a bigger paycheck and he's living underneath a bridge with a bunch of other like-minded individuals. Jan assures the group that Barry is the best beer gamer that there ever was, but Barry is having a hard time proving the opposite. Back at the family restaurant, called "Schnitzengiggle", the guys are trying to decide who to get in place of Barry, but suggestion after suggestion proves to the group that they can't anyone who's worthy enough to fill his shoes. Barry enters and proves he is worthy of competing in Beerfest. He then stuns Jan, Todd, Fink, and Landfill by scoring perfect scores on any game he comes in contact with. He claims it's because he's better when he's drunk - that's enough to convince everybody that he's worthy of joining the team. The next day Jan and Todd present the team with their own training facility. They get a keg of beer and give the team a pep talk about how the next year is going to be tougher than anything they've ever experienced in their entire life - they're going to drink beer, and a lot of it. And if anyone isn't up to the task, they can walk out that door. It's then revealed that Barry can't play beer pong. They then proceed to drink extremely heavily and it's revealed what happened as time went on. The next morning Landfill nearly dies of asphyxiation, while Barry wakes up in the middle of nowhere, completely naked, next to a deer and screaming "Oh god not again!!!". With half a keg left over from the wild night before, Jan and Todd decide that they need some serious help if they're going to beat the Germans. They go to Great Gam Gam's house where she has enlisted the help of an obese caretaker named Cherry to help her now that Johan is gone. They then consult Great Gam Gam about why the Germans are amazing beer drinkers. She assures them it's because they drink the urine of a ram, because if you can drink that, you can drink almost anything. Barry comes to the revelation that Great Gam Gam just might be in fact a prostitute because of the not so subtle clues that she was giving during their visit. The guys then set about acquiring the substance and trying it for themselves. While on a rooftop, Fink decides that this isn't the way to go and that they should go about mixing it up with some random people rather than the "traditional method". The first party they go to is a wild teenage party. The party stops when they enter until Landfill grabs two large beers and chugs them down, he announces that they're the Party Brigade and that they're there to play some drinking games. They do so. Fink tries something called a "strikeout" - where you take a hit, chug your beer, do a shot and then blow out the smoke. He is knocked out almost instantly. Elsewhere in the party Barry and Todd are getting ready to box each other dressed as a bride and groom while the cops are called. Fink is wrapped in cellophane atop a set of monkey bars and cannot escape when the cops arrive. Now with 8 months to go, while practicing drinking games, Fink discovers the problem with the boot and has the guys gather around to show the problem. He gets into a fight with Landfill and knocks Bobo to the ground. But they discover something inside Bobo - it's a beer recipe. The one that claims to be the best beer in all of Germany, proving the claims about Johan and Great Gam Gam right. Another two months pass and the finished brew is completed and the guys have a toast for Johan. Drinking the beer they have just brewed proves to be a religious revelation for the guys and they think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Four months to go. The guys are out at the bar having some fun playing a card game called "asshole", Barry drinks too much and becomes his alternate persona. Jan shows off the awesome bottle that he created for the house brew, now called "Schnitzengiggle Ale". Barry then picks up what he thinks is an incredibly attractive woman and they head back home for a night of foreplay. The morning however, it reveals that he actually picked up Cherry - Great Gam Gam's overweight assistant and the things that happened are not exactly what he pictured in his head. Barry then reassures the audience that while he was drunk, he knew what was going on the whole time. Less than two months remain until Team USA heads to Germany. At the restaurant - Schnitzengiggle, it turns out the beer they brewed is a hit and is flying off the shelves and attracting record crowds. So much that a bottle was sent to the German team. Baron Wolfhouse discovers this and sends his team to Colorado where they humiliate the guys at their own restaurant. As they try to think of a name for the operation, Baron tells his team that it's not about names. It's about reclaiming the family heritage. They then challenge the guys to a winner-take-all beer pong tournament for the family recipe and 500,000 Euros. At first they deny the challenge, saying they'll make more money selling the beer than they ever would if they take the money being offered. Todd then accepts the challenge, with Barry as his partner but Barry gets in a fight with Jan because beer pong is the one game he just won't play. He then leaves. The German team then humiliates Jan and Todd by destroying multiple items in the restaurant. The next day sets off a chain of events that has Jan and Todd nearly calling the whole thing off. Fink reveals that he got fired from the lab due to slipping performance, and accidentally created a mutated race of monkey - frog hybrid animals. The German team files a fake report on live television against Schnitzengiggle that has health inspectors nearly condemning the place and reservations being cancelled left and right. Landfill comes in visibly upset because his wife couldn't take the lies and the heavy drinking and took the kids to her mothers'. Jan, Todd, and Fink are stunned to learn that Landfill has kids. While having one last brew in the back, and recalling the good times, Landfill discovers something suspicious happening. Turns out Cherry is a spy that was hired by the German team to steal the recipe back. Cherry copies it off the computer and she and Landfill get in a fight, and Cherry ultimately knocks Landfill into a vat of unfinished brew. Landfill attempts to escape by drinking his way out. Unfortunately he drowns and is discovered by Jan. Jan, Todd, and the gang are devastated by the incident and consider packing the whole thing in.Todd decides that he's had enough and that Team USA is done. They're packing it in - Schniztengiggle, the beer, their hopes and dreams of conquering the German team. While at Landfill's funeral, Fink gives a tear-and-beer filled eulogy, while Barry accidentally knocks Landfill out of the casket while being confronted by his incredibly angry wife, who was horrified by the truth surrounding the events leading up to Landfill's death. During the reception, the reunited team wonders what they're going to do next. They're then confronted by Great Gam Gam who reveals the truth about the family. That she was in fact a German Prostitute. That Baron's father Ludwig had an affair with her and she gave birth to Johan, and that he, not Baron was the real first born Wolfhause. And the Von Wolfhausen Family Brewery belongs to Jan and Todd - not Baron and his sons Otto and Rolf. When the town found out about Ludwig's affair, they had Johan and Great Gam Gam tarred and feathered and run out of town. Great Gam Gam then tells Team USA that it's their destiny to go to Munich to defeat the German team, that the family heritage and the real truth about the Von Wolfhausen family must be reclaimed. Barry reveals to the group the exact incident that rendered him unable to play pong. He was in Thailand playing, and got beat up, and somebody shoved a ping pong paddle up his ass. Great Gam Gam tells Barry that, as a fellow prostitute, she's had all kinds of things shoved in her ass, but she got over it, and so will Barry. As they ponder who to get to replace Landfill, Landfill's identical twin brother Gil shows up and wants to join the team. He proves he's every bit as good if not better than Landfill. It's now time for Team USA to head to Germany to face their destiny. As they wander around Munich, Jan and Todd actually forget exactly where the competition is. Fink remembers some research that he did back in college and got published in Maxim magazine. It's called "drunken recall". Since Todd was the drunker one at the time, the guys proceed to get Todd really drunk. He does and immediately remembers everything that they needed to do to get to where they're going. They're at first denied entry until they try the old Trojan horse trick and disguise themselves as a keg. At first they're denied the ability to play until the crowd demands that they are allowed to do so. Team USA and Team Germany have no problems eliminating the competition that they face. They then ultimately face each other in the final round. The first game is beer pong. Otto brings up a technicality that Todd has not competed in any event. They're nearly disqualified until both Todd and Barry announce that they'll be competing in the challenge. Barry and Todd are on the losing end of the match it appears until Barry takes the proverbial bullet and sends the ball flying into the cup. Barry and Todd then reconcile their differences over the past incident involving Todd's wife. Team USA then makes a comeback. The next games are Thumper and Turbo Quarters, and Team USA has no problems in those games. But then it comes down to a tie which means that they go to sudden death and drink from Das Boot. In the bathroom, Fink discovers exactly what they need to do to beat Das Boot. It's because when you drink it, it forms a bubble. All they need to do is when the bubble comes, turn the boot. In the final round, they have Gil as the anchor, but while the competition is going on, Cherry reveals that she was the one who killed Landfill, causing Gil to fail. Team USA is laughed at until Jan challenges a double or nothing final elimination round. Ten boots, ten players. Winner take all. If Team USA wins, the winner gets control of the Von Wolfhausen Family Brewery. If Team Germany wins, the winner gets control of the recipe. Cherry laughs at them, telling them it's a moot point because Cherry had stolen the recipe off Fink's computer. Baron laughs at Team USA and has them nearly kicked out of the arena. Jan proves that they're the real heirs to the brewery by showing Todd next to the portrait of Ludwig Van Wolfhausen. The Canadian team remarks that they look remarkably similar. Fink reveals that's not the family recipe they really want. In fact, it's a recipe for an experimental low carb strawberry brew called "She Hulk". Baron then has Cherry taken away and killed. Gil then mocks the German team telling them "we're not that drunk". The audience watching starts joining in on the chant. It's time for the final match. The team gives a pep talk like you see in sports movies. Fink instructs the team to do exactly as he discovered to beat the boot. Then before the match, during some trash talk, Otto knocks Fink's yarmulke off, and that angers him to the point where Jan decides to make Fink the anchorman over Gil. It's time for the match, the referee tells them not a drop can be spilled. Fink manages to beat the German team by drinking furiously from Das Boot. It all comes down to a final drop from the Germans that spills. That makes Team USA champions and they get control of the brewery. Cut to several months later. The guys are in Amsterdam for some much needed R&R as they find running one of the biggest breweries in Germany isn't easy. After cruising the red light district, they get lost on the way back to their hotel. As they wonder down the alley, they notice a familiar face. It's Willie Nelson. Willie tells Team USA that he's competing in a super secret international pot smoking competition and that his partners Cheech & Chong chickened out on him. He then invites the guys the guys to join them as his teammates. The movie ends with a teaser for the sequel "Potfest".

To impress a foxy divorcee, ladies' man Nick offers to take her kids on an extended road trip, unaware of the torture he's in for. Nick Persons is a selfish player who owns a collectibles sports shop in Portland Everything in his life is perfect until he meets Suzanne Kingston, a businesswoman who has something he hates - children: Lindsey and Kevin. They become friends and share good moments with each other. But his peaceful life gets altered when she asks him to drive Lindsey and Kevin to Vancouver. After they miss a plane and train, they drive. Unfortunately, Lindsey and Kevin hate Nick, and he has to try to make it to Vancouver, unaware of the terror and torture he is in for. —Odyssey The fledgling romance between playboy Nick Persons and Suzanne Kingston, a divorced mother of two, is threatened by a particularly harrowing New Year's Eve. When Suzanne's work keeps her in Vancouver for the holidays, Nick offers to bring her kids, Lindsey and Kevin, there from Portland. They, who have never liked any of the men Suzanne has dated, are determined to turn the trip into a nightmare for Nick. —Anonymous

We begin with an aerial view of the hotels in Las Vegas, before settling on one called the Shangri-La. Inside one gaming area, the patrons all seem to be winning. Joe, a floor boss, picks up a phone and asks where Bernie is - they need him right away. Moments later, from an elevator emerges Bernie Lootz (William H. Macy), dressed in a seedy-looking ill-fitting suit. As he limps through the casino and passes people, their luck immediately goes sour. Roulette wheels, blackjack cards, crap tables and slot machines all stop paying out. Bernie then wanders over to Doris, the barmaid, who pours him a coffee. He asks for cream, but as she starts to pour it the creamer runs dry. A pretty blonde waitress, Natalie Belisario (Maria Bello) brings a drink order to the bar. Bernie tries to chat with her, but she is clearly distracted. She asks Doris if Shelly left word for her; he was supposed to put her at the tables rather than the nickel slots she's been stuck at. As Natalie leaves, Bernie promises her he'll talk to Shelly but she doesn't seem to notice. Joe tells Bernie he's needed on table 11. Bernie tells Joe to have Natalie bring him a drink - that he talked to Shelly and he wanted her on the tables tonight. Natalie brings him the drink, thanking him for talking to Shelly. Bernie then takes the drink to a player at the crap table who's having a hot streak - which ends immediately. Bernie then plays some blackjack, losing his money and wrecking the luck of all the other players. Next, we see casino boss Shelly Kaplow (Alec Baldwin) in his office. He has a headache and is trying to get a manicure, when a small entourage of men in gray suits barge in . Leading the pack is his casino partner, Nicky Bonnatto (Arthur J. Nascarella). Nicky introduces Shelly to his new VP Larry Sokolov (Ron Livingston) and his numbers guy, Marty Goldfarb. After drinks, smokes and jokes, Nicky tells Shelly that Larry has some ideas to revitalize the Shangri-La. Shelly asks why - they raked in $35 million last year. Larry explains that he respects the job Shelly has done the last 16 years, but that things have changed on the strip. Shelly responds in disgust about the "Disneyland" the strip has become. What was once a high class hooker, has now become a cheap, fat whore. Larry points out that other casinos are raking in dough and the Shangri-La just can't compete anymore. Shelly says they're not trying to compete; this is where old-time real money comes to play. Larry counters they only offer nostalgia - fine for museums but not casinos. Later, Shelly meets Bernie on the floor and stops him for a chat. He asks how his knee is and tells him about an orthopedist who can make a kneecap out of titanium. But Bernie reminds him he won't be here past Sunday. Shelly asks him where he's going to go that better than this. But Bernie insists that in seven days he's gone. Bernie goes to his motel room at the Bettor Life motel, a dismal dive. He sits in bed watching TV. He can't even try to sleep because his neighbor is having loud, headboard-banging sex on the opposite side of the wall. Next day, a high roller is on a hot streak. When Natalie brings him his drink, he deliberately takes his time stuffing the money into her cleavage, causing her to topple over into Bernie. She apologizes, but Bernie tells her she might want to stick around. He hands the guy some new dice, and his lucky streak evaporates. The roller sees Natalie smiling at his misfortune, and starts swearing at her, until he is hauled off by security. Natalie smiles at Bernie gratefully. Shelly takes his partner and the new guys out to watch Buddy Stafford (Paul Sorvino), the casino's older, worn-down lounge singer. Larry is clearly not impressed. Shelly goes to see the singer in his dressing room. Buddy is embarrassed about his performance. Shelly tries to pump up his ego, but Buddy is more concerned whether Shelly brought his fix. Shelly did and Buddy quickly shoots up. He tells Shelly about a nature show he saw - how a lion who was once the leader of a pride had gone past his prime and was expelled and left to forage on his own until he died. It would be so much easier, he moans, if he could just walk away with his dignity intact. Shelly disagrees, saying that would be like admitting he was dead already. Bernie walks out to his car and is surprised to find Natalie waiting for him. "Buy you a drink?" she invites. Larry, meanwhile, introduces Shelly to Johnny Capella (Joey Fatone), a new hot singer he thinks should be headlining at the Shangri-La. Shelly tells Larry he already has Buddy signed up for five more years. Johnny is miffed and walks out. Natalie and Bernie are in a diner, where she is reviewing his astrological chart, telling him he is a slow starter when it comes to romance. He tells her it all doesn't matter; he knows what the outcome will be - all bad. He asks if she knows what he does. "You're a cooler", she replies. "You turn winners into losers". He tells her he does it by just being himself. Everyone who's ever been next to him has had their luck turn sour; it's always been that way. That sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy, she retorts. He blurts out that he is leaving in five days anyway, so she suggests they don't waste any time and just go to his place. He nervously tells her he's not sure he can afford her. She is insulted, and he realizes he's made a mistake. I've done it again, he tells her. I've cooled the damn table. But she assures him he hasn't cooled anything yet. They go to his motel room, where she notices his plants are all dead, and he has a cat food dish but no cat. She sits down on the bed, while he dusts off an old record. But as it starts to play the needle scratches across it. He resets it and nervously sits next to her. She tells him to relax - at least one of them has done this before. As the record starts to play, "Luck Be a Lady Tonight", she starts to undress. He notices she has a tattoo of two dice, each reading a two, on her behind. She walks to him coyly and starts to seduce him. But he is nervous, and ends up just rolling on top of her and finishing very quickly. She tells him gently, "It's okay. I've had worse", then gives him other kind reassurances. The next morning Bernie wakes up to find he's alone. Sadly, he picks up her pillow and hugs it. Suddenly she walks out of the bathroom, brushing her teeth, and asks if he wants to go to breakfast. He nods yes with a huge smile. At breakfast, he tells her about his past. He was an out-of-control gambler who built up a huge debt until Shelly broke his legs with a baseball bat. Natalie is horrified, but Bernie says he's actually grateful. His shattered bones are a reminder to keep him from giving into the temptation to gamble. He worked out a repayment plan with Shelly - six years off the books cooling tables, and it's up in five days. The conversation is interrupted as a pregnant girl nearby has labor pains. Bernie sees them and recognizes the husband as his son, Mikey (Shawn Hatosy). Bernie and Natalie escort the pregnant couple, Mikey and Charlene (Estella Warren), to their car. She has settled down and is no longer in labor. When Bernie asks about Mikey's mother, he angrily responds she's getting by as long as she's high. Bernie nervously invites him to come to his motel to "catch up". Mikey says he might do that for the kid's sake. Bernie sits down at a blackjack table with one other player, Mel, who is obviously winning. He bets one hand and the dealer goes bust with it. Afterward, incredibly, the dealer busts on hand after hand, letting Mel rake in the dough. Bernie is perplexed and leaves the table. Shelly wonders if the dealer is cheating, but can't believe it. They run across Larry - who knows Bernie is a cooler. He chides Shelly for sticking to the old ways. He says there are more effective ways nowadays. He shows Shelly a CD with soft music laced with a subliminal message of "Lose. Lose. Lose." Shelly only rolls his eyes. The other partners arrive, and Shelly takes them to Buddy's room only to find Buddy on the floor dead of an overdose. Shelly suggests that the Paradise room stay closed tonight in Buddy's honor, but Larry quickly has Johnny Capella take over and do the show. The partners are impressed, but not Shelly. Bernie and Natalie try the ring toss as a carnival, but she misses all her tosses. They sit down and Natalie looks sadly at a little boy standing next to his dad. She asks Bernie if he noticed the tattoo on her butt: two dice each with a 2 - a Little Joe. She admits she had a son named Joe, but only for a year. She gave him up for adoption ten years ago because she was 17 and wanted her life back. Her family abandoned her after that, and she ran off to become a showgirl. Deep down, she knows she did the right thing, but now feels she was selfish. Bernie stands up as if to leave, and tells her softly, "I think...I could kick your ass at the dime toss". She laughs and they hug tenderly. Afterward, they make love in his motel room. Bernie is now very confident and gives Natalie obvious pleasure. Then with a smile he asks if she'll do something for him. Moments later, it sounds like they are having loud, headboard-banging sex, but the camera pans up to reveal that the two of them are just leaning against the headboard, rocking it and screaming out loudly. Finally, Bernie screams out and the two collapse, quietly laughing as the neighbor yells for them to shut up. "Did we wake you?" Bernie calls out. Later on, Natalie returns to Bernie's apartment to find Charlene and Mikey waiting there. Mikey asks if Bernie is renting her, because he can't figure out how else his loser father could get so lucky. Before she can say something back, Bernie returns from parking his car. He's surprised but happy to see Mikey. Mikey then tells him they're strapped for money and Bernie gives them $3,000 in cash, all the money he has to spare. Meanwhile, Larry presents a model of the new Golden Shangri-La to the partners: 3 floors of gaming, entertainment, boutiques, restaurants - even a roller coaster. Shelly responds by telling them the plot of the movie LOST HORIZON, how Shangri-La was totally untouched by the outside world - a paradise. Thats what the hotel Shangri-La was supposed to be, and you don't mess with that. Shelly insists that someday people will want the old Vegas back and he'll be there to give it to them. Nicky then goes to play some craps but is annoyed by a rude player. After Nick craps out and the guy laughs, Nicky head-butts him and beats him bloody until security, called by Bernie, drags the guy away. Bernie tells Natalie how anxious he is to get out of Vegas and begs her to come with him. She answers that she's done an astrological compatibility chart on them and they're good together - but only if they stay in Vegas. Bernie returns to his job. As he stands by a table, he is appalled to see his son there, playing craps. Natalie finds him and so does Larry, as Mikey rolls two nines and wins big. Shelly arrives in time to see Mike subtly switching back the real dice for his obviously loaded dice. He then throws a losing roll and decides to graciously leave with his winnings. Shelly tells him he doesn't want to lay out that kind of cash on the floor and invites them to come to his office to collect. Mikey agrees, but when Shelly tells him not to bother bringing his chips he knows he's in trouble. Larry suggests they turn them in to the authorities, but Shelly tells Larry to watch him protect his investment the "old school" way. Bernie is torn up, but goes to save his son. Shelly has the couple down in a basement area, about to work Mikey over when Bernie arrives and begs him to stop. Shelly accuses Bernie of being in on the con, but believes him when he denies it. Instead, he tells Bernie they were up 150 grand when they left the table, so he wants $75,000 each for their lives. When they start to punch Mikey, Bernie agrees to cover the 150 G's. Charlene then starts to have contractions and pleads to go to the hospital. Shelly responds by kicking her in the stomach, then pulling up her shirt to reveal that the "baby" was just a large cushion. Shelly mocks the shocked Bernie by cradling the cushion. He gives Bernie a chance to change his mind but the cooler still offers to cover the debt. Shelly then orders Mikey to be put up on the table. Bernie pleads that they had a deal, but Shelly tells him 150 grand buys only their lives. With that he takes a sledge hammer and breaks both of Mikey's legs. Back at his motel, Bernie blames himself for what happened to Mikey. Natalie gently tells him to stop beating up on himself and begins to dance with him instead. Later on, they are in bed together. She sits up and confesses that she knows she loves him. "You blindsided me, Bernie Lootz," she declares. "I never saw it coming". She then tells him there are things about her that he should know, but he doesn't care; it won't change how he feels about her. He's afraid to voice just how he feels about her because of all his rotten luck. But she tells him his rotten luck is all over now, so he admits that he loves her too. As a new day dawns, Bernie awakes to find his cat Trixie has come back, and Natalie has left him a note, "Have a Spectacular Day". He goes off to work with a new confidence. When the waitress pours his coffee, the creamer finally pours out cream for him. As he makes his rounds, people around him start to get very lucky. Even as Shelly takes him aside to find out what's going on, a brand new slot machine rigged for virtually no payouts hits a big jackpot. Bernie tells Shelly theres nothing wrong with him - he's just in love! Shelly has Natalie brought to him. He reminds her he only hired her to be a lover to Bernie, not to actually fall in love with him. Now his falling in love has turned Lootz's bad luck to good and cost the casino at least a million. He demands that she leave him, not even telling him to his face but just leaving a note. She refuses at first until Shelly threatens her life. Bernie returns home to find a note from Natalie that she has left him. Afterward he returns to the casino to find the creamer has run dry again and he is once more bringing bad luck to everyone he touches. He meets Shelly in the lounge and asks if he muscled Natalie into leaving, but Shelly denies everything and acts offended. Bernie comments that the new lounge singer is all flash and no soul and that he misses Buddy. Shelly tells him Buddy was tired and that he gave him an easy way out. He admits that he knew Buddy would never accept the casino buyout. He'd have fought to the end and eventually would have been hurt. So he gave him the overdose instead and let him die peacefully. Bernie is appalled. That night in his motel room, a lonely Bernie hears a knock on the door. Natalie is back, suitcase in hand. He takes her back before she can even say a word. Later, in bed, she suggests they run away together, but he says he can't. He owes Shelly a debt, and if he ran, Shelly would come after him and hurt her as well. At the casino, Bernie is bringing people luck again, so Shelly has Natalie grabbed from the motel. He tells her he could make her disappear and no one would miss her. "Bernie would!" she counters. She tells Shelly it must kill him to know that Bernie loves her. Bernie was your friend, she shouts at him, and you crippled him. Still he stood by you but no more! She and Bernie are leaving tonight and he can't stop them. Shelly slams her face into a mirror which shatters and leaves her face bloody. He then departs quietly. Bernie returns home to find Natalie hiding in the dark. He finds the broken mirror and turns on the light, seeing her with cuts on her face. She confesses that Shelly paid her to get close to him. She thought it was easy money. But as she got to know him, she saw that he wasn't a phony or a hustler but a decent guy. And she loved the way he treated her like a lady. Now Shelly wants her gone because she brought him luck. She just wanted to tell him the truth before leaving him, because she knows he wouldn't want her now. But instead, Bernie rushes her to the hospital, where they stitch up her cuts. He tells her afterward that everything will be all right. And if she ever looks in the mirror and doesn't like what she sees, then don't believe it. Look into my eyes instead, he tells her tenderly, they're the only mirror you're ever going to need. They go back to the Shangri-La. She tells him she lied about his astrological chart that first night - that it was actually the worst she had ever seen. But he assures her that was before he opened his heart to her now he has Lady Luck on his side. She gives him the $3,000 that Shelly had paid her and suggests he give it to Shelly as a down payment. He goes inside to where Shelly is meeting with his partners, throws Natalie's bloody handkerchief on the table and punches Shelly in the stomach swearing to kill him if he touches Natalie again. Shelly and his men drag Bernie up to the roof. Shelly says he hurt Natalie because he never gives up on a good thing, and Bernie is a very good thing - the best cooler ever. Bernie says he's not that man anymore. He promises to leave, get a job and send Shelly half his paycheck, but.Shelly says if he tries to leave the casino without paying his debt, he'll toss both he and Natalie off the roof. Bernie says he won't do that, because with him dead, he'd no longer the biggest loser in the world - Shelly would. What do you have except this place, Bernie challenges, your legacy is an illusion - you've got nothing. Shelly isn't impressed by the speech and walks away. Bernie turns his $3,000 into chips and starts throwing the dice at the crap table and winning. After he has run up some serious money and gotten Shelly's attention (but no interference from him) Larry arrives demanding Shelly shut him down right now and proclaiming that Bernie isn't leaving with one dime. Shelly hauls Larry into the men's room and tells him Bernie is okay and nobody's touching a hair on his head. He pins Shelly down and declares, wait, on a subsonic level, I hear a mantra "Pain! Pain! Pain!" Then he breaks Larry's wrist. At the table, Bernie is up over 100 grand until he craps out. He bets again but craps out a second time. He then takes the rest of his chips - $80,000 in all and places one last bet, throwing the dice nervously. He is next seen walking out of the casino empty-handed. Natalie is just grateful that he is alive as he drives them away. Meanwhile, Shelly is in his office with a headache, refusing to answer his ringing phone. He finally smashes the model of the new Golden Shangri-La to bits. Miles away in the car, Natalie asks Bernie to tell her what happened. He stops the car on the side of a desert road and opens the door as if he has to throw up. Meanwhile, Shelly gets into his car in the parking lot only to find Nicky waiting in his back seat. Bernie, meanwhile, proceeds to pull wads of money out of his pockets. He tells Natalie he won big at the casino. "Bahamas, here we come", he declares. Then a cop appears at their window, ordering them to step out. Bernie tells the cop he's sorry if he was driving carelessly, but that they just won a load of money. The cop pulls out a gun and tells them they didn't win anything - and orders them to get on their knees. Nicky tells Shelly he's just protecting his investment the old school way. He points his gun at Shelly's temple and shoots him dead. Meanwhile, on their knees in the desert, Natalie whispers to Bernie that they should have known it was all too good to be true. They turn to give each other one last loving gaze as the cop cocks his gun. But instead of hearing a gunshot, they hear a loud thud. They turn to see that a car has run down and killed the cop. Bernie realizes it was just a random drunk driver - a freaky, lucky coincidence. Bernie and Natalie get back into the car and drive away with their money. We see Larry being introduced to the investors as the new Director of Casino Operations at the new Golden Shangri-La. "The future looks very bright, gentlemen. Very, very bright," he assures them. And with those words of endorsement ringing in our ears, we watch Bernie and Natalie drive off toward a new life together.

3 prisoners escape. 2 end up in Happy, Texas, where they're mistaken for a gay couple expected there to help with the small girls beauty pageant. As the 2 are paid $1000, they decide to stay until the heat is gone. Two escaped convicts arrive in the town of Happy, Texas, where they are mistaken for a gay couple who is to host the town's Little Miss Fresh Squeezed beauty pageant. Enjoying the celebrity and using their skill as con-men, the two adopt their persona to take on the task. Of course, as the two are heterosexual, their interest in the involved ladies intensifies. Ally Walker is a banker, who is distrustful of men and has given up on love. Illeana Douglas plays the dowdy, badly dressed teacher. —John Sacksteder <jsackste@bellsouth.net>

An irresponsible, drug-addicted, recently impregnated woman finds herself in the middle of an abortion debate when both parties attempt to sway her to their respective sides. Ruth Stoops is a poor indigent drug-user (a huffer - inhaling glue and paint for a high) whose down and out existence is complicated once more by becoming pregnant (she has had and lost four children already). When a judge orders that she gets an abortion or face a felony charge, she is befriended by Gail Stoney, a pro-lifer whose husband is president of the local "Babysavers" group. Suddenly Ruth is thrust into the middle of the pro-choice/pro-life struggle, with each side wanting her to take their side as a "message" to others - and the situation escalates... —Gary Dickerson <slug@mail.utexas.edu>

Fake faith healer Jonas Nightingale is stranded in a small town where he finds he can't fool all of the people all of the time. Jonas is a fraudulent faith healer, who uses all the tricks in the book to con the people attending his shows. Jonas and his team of helpers, including Jane who is in need of some romance, travel the country stopping at big towns and cities to put on their show. When one of the trucks breaks down in a small town, Jonas is quick to accept the challenge of making money in this town. His other goal is to seduce Marva, a waitress in the town, but she's a hard nut to crack, as is Will, the local sheriff who's determined to expose Jonas as a fraud. —Rob Hartill Jonas Nightengale is a fraudulent Christian faith healer who makes a living travelling around America holding revival meetings and conducting 'miracles' with the help of his friend and manager, Jane, and their entourage. One of their trucks breaks down in Rustwater, a town in desperate need of rain to save their crops. While waiting for spare parts, Jonas decides to hold a revival meeting in the town. The local sheriff, Will Braverman, is skeptical and tries to prevent his town and its people from being conned. However a local disabled boy, Boyd, believes Jonas could make him walk again. Events in Rustwater make Jonas examine his own faith and doubts. —yusufpiskin

In 1977, the Voyager 2 deep space probe was launched containing a gold, phonographic disk with messages of peace embedded within it and inviting visitors to come to the planet Earth. The Voyager probe is intercepted by an alien space ship which sends a small observational scout vessel in response to the invitation in order to establish first contact with Earth. However, instead of being greeted by its human hosts, the spacecraft is promptly shot down by the US government. The ship crashes in Chequamegon Bay, Wisconsin and the alien, a blue ball of energy, emerges from the wreckage. It stumbles upon the house of recently widowed Jenny Hayden (Karen Allen). There, it finds a lock of hair belonging to Jenny's deceased husband Scott in a photo album and uses it to clone a new body. The depressed Jenny watches stunned as the alien takes on Scott's form. The Starman (Jeff Bridges) possesses seven small silver spheres which he turns into pure energy to perform miraculous feats. He uses the first one to send a message to his people that his craft has been destroyed, that the environment is hostile, and that he will rendezvous with them at "Landing Area One" in three days, located in Arizona. He then uses the second one to create a holographic map of the United States in order to compel the dumbstruck Jenny to help him get to Arizona. However, Jenny is frightened of the Starman and reacts with hostility towards him, doing what she can to avoid traveling with him. After repeatedly and unsuccessfully attempting to escape, she finally implores the Starman to shoot her with her pistol. Instead, the Starman releases the pistol's magazine and tells her he means her no harm. As they continue on their journey the Starman, who developed a rough understanding of English syntax from the Voyager 2 disk, learns to communicate exactly who he is and what his purpose is to Jenny while she tries to teach the Starman that humanity is not completely savage. The Starman explains to Jenny that he has three days to get to the rendezvous point, Arizona's Barringer Crater, or he will die. She teaches him how to drive a car and use credit cards, intending to leave him self sufficient enough to continue the journey alone. However, while they are stopped at a small diner, they connect on a more emotional level with Jenny attempting to explain to him what love is. She also witnesses the Starman revive a dead deer that had been tied to the front of a hunter's (Ted White) car. Deeply moved, she resolves to help him. Meanwhile, the US army, after discovering the crash site of the Starman's ship, is tracking the couple's trail to Arizona. The army battalion is led by the cold-blooded NSA Chief George Fox (Richard Jaeckel) who is reluctantly assisted by SETI scientist, Mark Shermin (Charles Martin Smith). Shermin is clearly a more understanding and empathic man and, after he finds the Voyager 2 disk in the Starman's ship, Shermin deduces that the Starman was invited to Earth peacefully and discovers that the alien has taken the form of Scott Hayden through collected pieces of evidence around Jenny's house. Once news of the fugitives becomes publicized, a couple of cops (Dirk Blocker, M.C. Gainey) intent on becoming local heroes, discover Jenny and Starman residing at a motel. They decide to hold position outside until the government arrives but, when Jenny and Starman attempt to escape, despite employing a distraction, the cops pursue them by car and one shoots Jenny. Starman crashes their vehicle into an overturned gas tanker, protecting himself and Jenny from the ensuing explosion with one of his spheres. Under cover of the chaos, he seeks refuge in a mobile home being transported on a trailer bed. Jenny never regains consciousness but Starman, down to his last two spheres, uses one to revive her, gently kissing her as her wounds heal. He then leaves her and attempts to reach the Crater alone; afraid she will be hurt again. Jenny regains consciousness and heads off to find him, aware that they were being pursued by the government. Meanwhile, the Starman hitches a ride with a local truck driver, telling him that his name is Scott and he's headed for Arizona. A large traffic jam awaits them. Several miles back, Jenny manages to hitch a ride with another truck diver and, after a while, are met by the same traffic jam. Police have barricaded the road and are interrogating people. When she locates Starman standing anonymously within the crowd, and knowing it's only a matter of time before he's revealed, Jenny employs the truck driver to stage a distraction for her. He explodes a gas can which incites the police to chase after him, enabling Jenny to reach Starman. They escape in the panic and continue their journey, stowing away on a train boxcar. En route, they become close and consummate their feelings for one another. Starman tells Jenny that he gave her a baby, despite Jenny's insistence that she is infertile. Starman assures her to believe what he says and tells her that the child will be the son of her husband, since he is a clone of Scott. He explains that the child will know all that Starman knows and will grow up to be a teacher. However, he gives her the option of taking it back but Jenny refuses, joyfully accepting his gift. The couple mistakenly travel too far on the train and arrive in Las Vegas and, to make matters worse, Jenny has lost her wallet. The Starman uses their last quarters in a slot machine which he manipulates with his powers in order to win a $500,000 jackpot. The couple use their winnings to buy a new car to complete the drive to Winslow, Arizona, which is near Barringer Crater. Meanwhile, Fox has received information from NORAD that the trajectory of The Starman's Observation Craft, prior to it being shot down, was to Barringer Crater, and concludes that the Starman, along with Jenny Hayden would be in that general vicinity within the next 24 hours of that determination. Near the end of the journey, the Starman, growing weaker, and Jenny are confronted in a cafe in Winslow, where Mark Shermin interviews the dying Starman. The Starman explains to him that his people had previously visited Earth and are interested in humans because, out of all the many savage intelligent races in the universe, humans are at their best when things are at their worst. Confronted with this, Shermin decides to ruin his career to help the Starman and Jenny escape. The couple reach the crater as Army helicopters buzz them. Suddenly, the aliens' large, spherical mothership appears in the sky and descends into the crater. A blue light surrounds the couple and the Starman is instantly restored to health. He tells Jenny he will never see her again. Jenny confesses her love and begs him to take her with him but he says she would die on his world. He then gives her his last silver sphere, telling her that her son will know what to do with it before asking Jenny to tell her son about him. He asks her to tell him how to say goodbye and they kiss one last time before the Starman walks away into the beam. As Jenny watches in silence, the mothership rises, carrying the Starman away.