Melvyn Douglas

In a small New England town, four elderly men form what they call the "Chowder Society," regaling themselves with the telling of scary "ghost stories." Membership in the club, in fact, requires that one present such a story. The four old friends consist of Ricky Hawthorne (Fred Astaire), a lawyer, and his partner Sears James (John Houseman), along with Dr. John Jaffrey (Melvyn Douglas) and Edward Charles Wanderley (Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.), a successful businessman. When Edward's son, David, living in New York, falls from a window after the girl he's sleeping with turns suddenly into a hideous demon, Edward grieves. His other son, Don (Craig Wasson), a college professor who's fallen on hard times, shows up in town, not getting a great reception from Edward, who always preferred the other, more ambitious son. But now the four elderly gentlemen are unsettled, experiencing nightmares. Clearly, something is bothering them. Edward becomes so distraught, he wanders across a bridge in the snow. When he sees the same female apparition that caused his son to fall to his death, Edward, too, falls to his death from the bridge. Although his death is ruled a suicide, his son Don and Edward's three remaining elderly friends doubt it. Don approaches the remaining three friends, requesting membership in their group, offering up a bizarre "ghost" story of his own. Don's flashback: A few years earlier, then a promising junior professor in Miami, Florida, Don meets Alma (Alice Krige), a beautiful if mysterious secretary who comes to work at the university. They immediately become involved in a torrid sexual affair, which interferes with Don's job, causing him to miss work and earn the scorn of the Dean who previously championed him. But Don finds something strange about this strange, exotic woman -- a coldness, and he drops her. Later, he hears from his brother David that he has met the same girl in New York and intends to marry her. Don warns his brother that she's trouble, but to no avail. And indeed, Don suspects she caused his death - the fall from the building as seen earlier. Back in the present, the elderly friends react to Don's story. Sears dismisses it, but Ricky believes him. Elderly Dr. John Lafferty, after having a nightmare about the same woman - Alma - dies of a heart attack. This leaves only Sears and Ricky. Thus, they finally tell Don their own strange history with a woman who looked exactly like Alma. Their flashback: Back when the four friends were young in 1931, the beautiful Eva Galli (also Alice Krige) came to town, and, indeed, it's obvious that she's the same person as Alma in the present. The four friends are smitten with Eva, who encourages their sexual interest. It was Young Edward (Don's father) who first took her to bed, but he was impotent with her. When she mocked him later in front of his friends, Young Edward leaps to silence her, knocking her down, accidentally killing her when her head smashes into the stone fireplace. Horrified, the young men realize that she's dead. They consider calling police, but realize it would only mean wrecking their lives. Instead, they load her body into her car, then push it into the nearby lake. As the car descends, Eva stirs inside, looking out at them from the back window.... still alive! Back in the present, Ricky and Sears admit that the death has haunted them all these years. Whereas Sears is dubious, both Ricky and Don believe that Alma and Eva are one in the same and that her ghost has returned to seek revenge after 50 years. Don suggests they go to Eva's old house, now in ruins, to confront the past and her ghost once and for all. They go there, but Don falls on the rotting stairs and breaks his leg. Sears goes off in his car through the snow for help, leaving Don and Ricky behind, but one of Alma/Eva's evil accomplices, an evil boy, causes his car to crash off the icy road and he dies. Ricky nearly dies at the hands of one of Alma's the accomplices, an arrogant young Hod, but Ricky manages to get to the authorities, telling them to pull Eva's car up from the lake to reveal her body inside. This is intercut with Don, who confronts the rotting specter of Alma/Eva's ghost. Ricky and the authorities drag out the ancient car, opening the rusted, corroded door, finding the still-living rotting corpse inside. It falls out, disintegrating before their eyes. Don is spared from the monstrosity of her vengeful ghost, and the town is restored to peace.

Chance (Peter Sellers) is a middle-aged gardener who lives in the townhouse of a wealthy man in Washington D.C. Chance seems very simple-minded and has lived in the house his entire life, tending the garden, with virtually no contact with the outside world. His cultural and social education is derived entirely from what he watches on the television sets provided by the "Old Man," who raised him. The only other person in his life is Louise, the maid who cooks his meals and looks upon him as nothing more than a child who has failed to grow up. When his benefactor dies, Chance is visited by attorneys handling the estate. Chance tells them that he has lived his whole life inside the house. He was apparently abandoned as a baby and left in a basket outside the front door where the "Old Man" lived, who took him in and raised him. The lawyers force him to leave the townhouse and he discovers the outside world for the first time. Chance wanders aimlessly through a wintry and busy Washington dressed in conservative, old-fashioned business attire, a homburg hat, suitcase, umbrella and a television remote from his former home. Although finely-tailored many years ago, his clothes are of the style which has now come back into fashion, and so others presume he is an expensively well-dressed man of means. That evening, as he wanders, Chance happens upon a TV store. He sees his own image in one of the TVs captured by a camera in the shop window. While watching himself he backs into the street and is struck by a car owned by Ben Rand (Melvyn Douglas), a wealthy businessman. Rand's wife Eve (Shirley MacLaine), who is inside the limo, invites Chance to their home to recover from his injured leg. After being offered alcohol for the first time in his life, Chance coughs after he is asked his name. He says, "Chance the Gardener", but due to his cough those listening interpret his name to be "Chauncey Gardiner." During dinner at the Rands' home, Chance describes the attorneys coming to his former house and shutting it down where he lived his whole life after the death of "the Old Man". Judging by his appearance and overall demeanor, Ben Rand automatically assumes that Chauncey is an upper class, well-to-do, highly-educated business man. Although Chance is really describing being kicked out of the home where he tended to the garden after the death of his legal guardian, Ben Rand perceives it as attorneys shutting down Chance's business because of financial problems after the death of his long-term boss and mentor "the Old Man". Ben even assumes it must have been caused by "kid lawyers from the SEC," obviously attributing it to have occurred at a higher, more sophisticated level than a tax/IRS problem, as most persons would likely have assumed. Sympathizing with him, Ben Rand takes Chance under his wing. Chance's personal style and seemingly conservative and insightful ways embody many qualities that Ben admires. His simplistic, serious-sounding utterances, which mostly concern the garden, are interpreted by virtually everyone as allegorical statements of deep wisdom and knowledge regarding business matters and the current state of the economy in America. Ben Rand is also the confidant and adviser of the U.S. President (Jack Warden), whom he introduces to "Chauncey." Chance's remarks about how the garden changes with the seasons are interpreted by the President as economic and political advice, relating to his concerns about the mid-term unpopularity that many administrations face while in office. Chance, as Chauncey Gardiner, quickly rises to national public attention. He becomes a media celebrity and appears on a national television talk show. He rapidly joins the A-list of the most wanted in Washington society. Public opinion polls start to reflect just how much his "simple brand of wisdom" resonates with the jaded American public. At an upscale Washington cocktail lounge, two important, older, well-dressed men are discussing Chauncey; one says to the other, there is a rumor "he holds degrees in medicine as well as law." Rand, dying of aplastic anemia, encourages his wife to become close to Chance, knowing Eve is a fragile woman. Rand's doctor (Richard A. Dysart) makes a few inquiries of his own. Even after acquiring Chance's fingerprints and a photo of him, the physician can't find a record of him anywhere, including elementary, middle, or high schools, colleges, nor employment or a police record. Rand's doctor concludes that Chance is actually a simpleton gardener, totally oblivious and unaware to the ways of the world. But he sees that Chance has helped Rand to accept his final illness and pending death. The doctor is hesitant to say anything that will upset Rand. He also sees that Chance possesses no guile, no intent to deceive, or any interest which would adversely impact Ben or Eve, or have any adverse effect upon Eve, or the estate, following Ben's death. Just days before his death, Rand amends his will to include Chauncey. At his funeral, the President gives a long-winded speech full of bon mots and quotes by Rand. Rand's pallbearers, all influential citizens and members of the board of Rand's several companies, hold a whispered discussion over potential replacements for the President in the next term of office. As Rand's coffin is about to be interred in the family Masonic pyramid-like mausoleum, they unanimously agree on "Chauncey Gardiner." Chance, oblivious to all this, wanders away from the funeral and through Rand's wintry estate. Ever the gardener, he straightens out a pine sapling and then walks up to the edge of a pond and then onto its surface. He pauses, dips his umbrella deeply into the water next to him, and then continues to walk further out into the pond. Rand's quote "Life is a state of mind" is stated in voiceover .

Trelkovsky (Roman Polanski), a quiet and unassuming Polish immigrant living in France, rents an apartment in Paris whose previous tenant, Egyptologist Simone Choule, attempted to commit suicide by throwing herself out the third-floor window and through a pane of glass below. He visits Choule in the hospital but finds her entirely in bandages and unable to talk. Whilst still at Choule's bedside, Trelkovsky meets Simone's friend, Stella (Isabelle Adjani), who has also come to visit. Stella begins talking to Simone, who becomes aware of her visitors. Initially showing some signs of agitation upon seeing them, Choule soon lets out a disturbing cry, then suddenly dies. It isn't clear which of the two has caused this reaction. Apparently unaware that Choule is now dead, Trelkovsky tries to comfort Stella but dares not say that he never knew Simone, instead pretending to be another friend. They leave together and go out for a drink and a movie (Bruce Lee's Enter The Dragon), where they fondle each other. Outside the theatre they part ways. As Trelkovsky occupies the apartment he is chastised unreasonably by his neighbors and landlord, Monsieur Zy (Melvyn Douglas), for hosting a party with his friends from the clerical office where he works, apparently having a woman over, making too much noise in general, and not joining in on a petition against another neighbor. Trelkovsky attempts to adapt to his situation, but is increasingly disturbed by the apartment and its tenants. He frequently sees his neighbors standing motionless in the toilet room (which he can see from his own window), and discovers a hole in the wall with a human tooth stashed inside. He receives a visit and a letter from one Georges Badar (Rufus), who secretly loves Simone and has believed her to be alive and well. Trelkovsky updates and comforts the man and spends the night out with him drinking at various bars around the city. Gradually he changes his breakfast habits like Simone and shifts from Gauloises to Marlboro cigarettes. One evening, Trelkovsky has a run-in with Stella who is with some friends of hers at a local bar where they talk about the late Simone. After a gathering at friend's house, Stella invites Trelkovsky back to her apartment where she tries to seduce him. Trelkovsky is quite drunk and does not respond to her advances. He tells Stella about finding the human tooth in a wall in his apartment. He then tells a story about a man who lost his arm in an accident and wanted it buried. Trelkovsky instead passes out, leaving Stella to instead sleep beside him. The next day, Trelkovsky returns to his apartment where be becomes severely agitated and enraged when he sees that his apartment has been robbed, while his neighbors and the concierge (Shelley Winters) continue to berate him for making too much noise... despite the fact that he appears to tiptoe around the apartment and watches his TV set without sound. He complains about the robbery to Zy, but the landlord is unsympathetic and refuses to allow Trelkovsky to call the police for he wants the building to remain quiet and respectable. Over the next several days, Trelkvosky becomes hostile and paranoid in his day-to-day environment (snapping at his friends, slapping a child in a park) and his mental state progressively deteriorates as he isolates himself from society. One evening, he imagines himself being attacked by a derelict in the hallway of the lobby in his apartment building while imagining it to be one of his neighbors Madame Dioz (Jo Van Fleet). He buys a wig and woman's shoes and goes on to dress up (using Simone's dress which he had found in a cupboard) and sits still in his apartment in the dead of night. He begins to suspect that Zy and neighbors had driven the previous tenant, Simone, to commit suicide by harassing her, and in his increasingly twisted state of mind, believes that they are trying to subtly change him into Simone so that he too will kill himself. He has visions of his neighbors playing football with a human head in the apartment courtyard, and begins to see himself staring out of his own window and finds the toilet covered in hieroglyphs. After a night of drinking at a local bar, Trelkovsky runs off to Stella for comfort and sleeps over at her apartment and confides in her about his fear that his neighbors are trying to kill him, but she calmly tells him that it is all in his mind. The next morning, after Stella has left for work, he concludes that she too is in on his neighbors' conspiracy when a delivery man arrives outside her apartment with a packaged delivery. In his twisted mind, Trelkovsky looks through the peakhole of the front door and sees Zy there. After the delivery man leaves, Trelkvosky proceeds to wreak havoc in her apartment before departing, and steals her hidden supply of money. That evening, Trelkvosky is drinking at a local bar again when he makes the mistake of asking the barman where he can buy a gun. The barman and the manager throw him out of the bar from where the drunk Trelkvosky wanders into the street where he gets hit by a passing car driven by an elderly couple. The old man and woman stop and exit the car to check on him, and he is not wounded too seriously. An doctor appears and gives him a sedative injection due to his odd behavior. As a result, Trelkvosky perceives the elderly couple as landlord Zy and wife after which the couple return him to his apartment. By this point, a deranged Trelkovsky dresses up again as a woman and throws himself out the apartment window in the exact same manner of Simone Choule, before what he believes to be a clapping, cheering audience composed of his neighbors in the courtyard. The suicide attempt, in fact, wakes up his neighbors (whom Trelkovsky sees as humanoid monsters decending upon him). The neighbors arrive at the scene together with the police just in time for the wounded Trelkovsky to crawl up to his apartment and jump one more time. The end of the movie is enigmatic. Trelkovsky is bandaged up at the local hospital in the same fashion as Simone Choule in the very same hospital bed. When Trelkovsky looks up, two visitors come to visit him the next day. It happens to be Stella... and his own self standing before him in the exact same manner when Trelkvosky and Stella visited Simone in the hospital earlier. Trelkovsky then lets out the same disturbing scream that Simone had screamed. There is the possibility that this scene is not a flashback but that Trelkovsky is really Simone Choule and the whole supernatural cycle is about to start all over again.

Hud opens on a wide open Texas landscape, which turns to a highway while spare and lovely guitar music plays. We then meet Lon (Brandon De Wilde) an impressionable teenager catching a ride into town to retrieve his Uncle Hud. The driver lets him out and asks how he'll look for Hud and Lon explains he just has to find Hud's pink Cadillac.Seeing a bartender sweeping up window glass from the sidewalk, Lon asks what the trouble was, the bar owner explains his trouble was Hud being there the last night. Lon soon finds the Cadillac outside a local married couple's house. Honking on the Cadillac's horn, he manages to get Hud to come out, although Hud is clearly angry about being disturbed as he was in bed with the wife and isn't quite dressed. Lon explains that Hud's father Homer (Melvyn Douglas) needs him right away. Ready to leave he peeks in the door and says "Thank you honey." Lon and Hud are both surprised when the woman's husband, Joe, pulls up to see them leaving. He asks which of them is leaving his house at 6 in the morning. Hud claims that he found Lon there and came to take him home. Joe threatens Lon, but Hud reminds him of his diabetes, and promises to "cool his temperature." Driving away, Lon's upset, but Hud tells him "Relax, you could charge a stud fee by the time that story gets around town." Hud asks what Homer wants and Lon says he needs advice on something. Hud is surprised as Homer hasn't asked for advice in fifteen years. Hud speeds home and parks in a flower bed which Alma (Patricia Neal) the Bannon's live in housekeeper, isn't pleased about, remarking that he does it every time. Homer brings Hud and Lon out to see one a heffer who has died of unknown causes with no signs. Alma asks him why he parks on her flowers and Hud tells her "Don't plant them where I park." She offers him some eggs asking if he had breakfast in bed. Hud tells her, "Nope hadn't gotten around to breakfast." which makes Alma grin as Hud leaves. Homer has hands watching the corpse to keep the vultures away. Reaching the site, Hud starts shooting at the vultures, prompting Homer to scold him, saying "Don't do that, Hud; they help keep the country clean. Besides, it's against the law." Hud tells him "Well, I've always thought the law was meant to be interpreted in a lenient manner. Sometimes I lean one way and sometimes I lean the other." Hud has no idea what killed it and Homer mentions wanting to call in the state vet to check it out. Hud has a problem with that and tells Homer the government shouldn't have any business on their land. Homer appears decided however, and tells Hud and Lon to stay with the steer and wait so the ranch hands can take a break. After a few minutes, Hud gets bored and takes a nearby horse back to his car, leaving Lon to do the watching. Soon after getting his car Hud finds Alma with one of the ranch hands on the side of the road with a blown tire. He leaves the hand to fix it and takes Alma back home as she has groceries to get back before dinner. She teases Hud about the smell of Chanel #5 in the car saying "You sure weren't riding the range this afternoon, were ya?" Hud responds "I sure wasn't." Alma tells him she doesn't know how some women have the time for Hud in the middle of the day. He tells her "They just drop everything honey." and she tells him "I suppose it does beat housework." Alma also tells him that a checker at the grocery store told her that Hud is seeing Truman Peter's wife. Homer and Lon eat dinner with Alma serving them, and then go sit on the porch to wait for desert. Hud, meanwhile yells at Alma to bring him a shirt. Hud flirts with her when she brings it to his room although she rebuffs his comments. Lon talks with Homer on the porch. When Homer asks what he's thinking about, Lon tells him, the future, having a car, and girls. Homer tells him "You'll get your share of what's good. A boy like you deserves it." Lon takes a look at a fading picture of his deceased father, Homer's son, from Homer's wallet. Lon asks him if he doesn't carry a picture of Hud in his wallet. Homer says "No, I don't" Lon says Lon: But he's your son, same as my Dad was. Homer: Yeah, he is. Lon: What are you holding against him Granddad? Homer: He knows and you don't need to. Alma brings them desert and sits on the porch with them. Hud comes outside ready to leave and Homer asks him to try and be home for the vet in the morning. Hud asks ALma to get a drink with him, but she declines, although he flirts with her about it. Lon asks Hud if he can go along and Hud agrees to take him into town. Homer tells Lon to be careful and glares at Hud, who tells Lon to drive. Lon asks "What was that all about?" and Hud says "It's a story I'll tell you one day when I'm drunk." In town, Lon tries to get a drink with Hud but Hud tells him to get a Dr. Pepper instead. Lon heads to the corner store and looks through paperback book rentals, then catches up with Hud, who now has beer. Hud gives Lon a hard time for following him and reveals he's on his way to "Mrs. Ruben Fletcher's house." Lon protests Hud treating like a kid and and Hud asks "How old are ya, Fantan, a fast 17?" Hud tells him "When I was your age, I couldn't get enough of anything." He tells Lon that's the year he was born and tells him about going out with his father, adding "Boy, we dossie-doed and chased a lot of girlish butts around that summer." Lon is fascinated at the talk and tells Hud "I wouldn't mind going that route myself." prompting Hud to tell him to come along, although Lon declines. Alma comes into Lonnie's room to wake him the next day. She asks him "Are you sleeping in the raw again?" to avoid pulling the sheet off of him. He says he is, and asks Alma what she sleeps in. SHe tells him "In my own room with the door locked." He asks "Do you ever wear any of those little shorty things." Alma: What kind of question is that? Lon: Just wondered. Alma: Does your mind usually run that direction? Lon: Yeah, it seems to. Alma: Boys with impure thoughts come out in acne. Lon: Oh, that's all bull Alma. Alma: Keep it up, you'll see. SHe tickles him to make him jump before leaving the room. Homer and Hud are out at the dead heifer, meeting with the vet, who tells Homer to get all of the cattle together for inspection. Homer asks why and the vet explains "I hope I'm wrong, but I'm afraid you've got the very worst kind of trouble a cattleman can have. I think that cow died of foot and mouth disease." Homer is surprised. Homer realizes that the vet may have to kill every animal he owns to prevent outbreak. After the vet leaves Hud remarks, "You gonna let them shoot your cows out from underneath you on account of a schoolbook disease? You getting that old Homer?" Homer: I wonder if a long quarantine wouldn't satisfy them? You think they'd agree to that? Hud: They don't have to agree to nothing. They're the LAW. You can agree with 'em 'til Hell freezes over for all the good it'll do ya. Hud proposes that Homer sell all the cattle before the inspector comes back. Homer: Would that be your way of getting out of a tight? Hud: Ship the whole herd out before they begin the tests! Homer: You mean, try and pass bad stuff off on to my neighbors who wouldn't even know what they was getting? Hud: You don't know it's bad stuff. I'd ship 'em out of state. Load them up north before the news gets out. Homer: And take a chance on starting an epidemic in the entire country? Hud: Why, this whole country is run on epidemics, where you been? Epidemics are big business, price fixing, crooked TV shows, income tax finagling, souped up expense accounts. How many honest men you know? You take the sinners away from the saints, you're lucky to end up with Abraham Lincoln. Now I say let us put our bread into some of that gravy while it is still hot. Homer: You're an unprincipled man Hud. Hud: Don't let that flush ya. I mean, you got enough for both of us. While the cattle are rounded up, Hud notices Homer is having a tough time. He suggests Homer go take a nap but Homer insists "I'll hold up my end of it." Lon comes out to help with the round up. Lon talks about the rarity of a couple longhorn steer that Homer keeps for nostalgic reasons, and suggests they turn them loose. Homer insists that they have to go with the rest. Homer and Lon go out to see a movie and Homer keeps dozing off. After the movie they go to a diner for desert and Hud happens to walk in with Mrs. Peters. Homer asks Lon if he's with Truman Peters' wife. Lon says yes and offers to call Hud over, but Homer tells him to leave him alone. Hud walks over with her anyway, introducing Mrs. Peters to Homer, who shakes her hand and then looks at his plate. Hud points out that Homer hasn't asked them to sit down, explaining that her being married offends Homer's "high priciples and what have you." WHile Hud is talking Homer suddenly slumps and looks ill. Hud and Lon get him to the car right away to go home. Lon reasons that he must have got too much sun. Homer falls asleep and Hud and Lon talk. Lon: I forget how old he is. I just don't want to think about it. Hud: It's time you started. Lon: I know he's gonna die someday. I know that much. Hud: He is. Lon: Makes me feel like somebody dumped me into a cold river. Hud: Happens to everybody, horses, dogs, men. Nobody gets out of life alive. Lon helps Homer into the house and Hud sees Alma come home. He goes to her room to visit her, looking through items she's won in contests to make conversation. He tells her "You're a good housekeeper, a good cook. You're a good laundress. What else you good at? [sitting down and leaning on her bed] Alma: [sitting on the other side of the bed] Taking care of myself. Hud: Shouldn't have to, a woman that looks like you do. Alma: That's what my ex husband used to tell me before he took my wallet, my gasoline credit card and left me stranded in a downtown hotel in Albequerque New Mexico. Hud: What'd you do to make him take to the hills, wear your curlers to bed? Alma: Ed's a gambler. He's probably up at Vegas arena right now, dealing at night, losing it all back in the daytime. Hud: A man like that sounds no better than a heel. Alma: Aren't you all? Hud: Hony, don't go shooting all the dogs because one of em's got fleas. Alma: I was married to Ed for six years. The only thing he was eve good for was to scratch my back where I couldn't reach it. Hud: You still got that itch? Alma: Off and on. Hud: Well, let me know when it gets to bothering ya. Alma smiles and Hud makes his exit. The next day the vet starts injecting fresh cows with specimens taken from Homer's herd. From there they have to wait 6 days to look for symptoms to develop. Lon ends up getting kicked in the head by one of the cows, passing out when he tries to get back to work. Hud carries him to the house and puts him in bed. Alma suggests they call a doctor but Hud insists they don't need one. She checks on him in bed and he tells Alma how beautiful she is. She encourages him to go to sleep. The cattle are penned in for quarantine and signs put up around the property. Lon wakes up the next day ready to work, but Homer tells him there isn't anything to do until the quarantine is over. Hud takes exception, telling Homer they're just letting the government throw dirt in their faces. He mockingly refers to the family as "poor but honest." Hud asks Alma where his Jack Daniels is, although he already looks drunk. She tells him he already drank it. He comes up behind her and nuzzles her neck. She tells him she "doesn't like sudden passes." He warns here that "there's another one coming up on your right." before moving to the other side of her neck. She says "Don't you ever ask?" Hud says "The only question I ever ask any woman is 'What time is your husband coming home?'" He suggests they "get their shoelaces untied." ALma says she's "been asked with a little more finesse." She doesn't tell him to stop, but Hud quickly moves away and says "I wouldn't want to come on crude." He offers to bring her some perfume and she adds a few items to the list, including colored beads and wampum. Hud says "Whatever it takes to make you trade." Alma replies "No thanks. I've done my time with one cold blooded bastard. I'm not looking for another." Hud replies, "It's too late honey. You already found him." The next morning Hud invites everyone to watch him at the "pig scramble." making a dig at Alma in the prcess saying "They're letting ladies in free. You might just qualify." She doesn't answer the remark but Lon tells Homer it's the first time Hud's ever asked him to go anywhere and he wonders why. Homer says "Lonesome I imagine, just trying to scare up a little company." Lon: Hud, lonesome? He can get more women coming in than anyone else around. Homer: That ain't necessarily much. It ain't necessarily company neither. Women just like to be around something dangerous part of the time. Even Hud can get lonesome once in a while. Alma listens to the conversation silently while washing dishes, but when Homer and Lon decide to go, she says "I'll stay home. I don't like pigs." At the pig scramble, Hud joins a contest to catch greased pigs and wins. Afterwards Hud invites Lon and Homer to go out with him. Homer declines but Lon takes him up on it. Hud offers to buy Lon a drink. The two sit in a diner together and Hud offers to spike Lon's drink with whiskey, which he eagerly agrees to even encouraging Hud not to be sparing about it. Lon notices an attractive woman. Hud encourages him to approach her, but Lon says he wouldn't make a move at her. Hud asks "Well why not? You ain't nailed down, are ya?" He encourages him more saying "Get all the good you can out of 17 because it sure wears out in one hell of a hurry." Lon: My trouble is I need to like a girl a lot before I can work up to anything. I mean like her as a person." Hud: Honcho, you're a regular idealist. Lon: What's wrong with that? Hud: I don't know. I just ain't never tried it. Lon: I suppose you think I'm a jerk. Hud: WHat do you care what i think? Lon: This is probably gonna hand you a big laugh... but I do. Hud: Then have another little drink, and I'll have another little drink. Then maybe we can work up some real family feeling here. Lon gets up to put change in the jukebox, and while he's doing that he makes a point of looking at the lady they were admiring. This isn't appreciated by her boyfriend, who starts threatening him. Hud gets involved and ends up sucker punching the man. Both Lon and Hud end up getting into it and get the bar into an uproar. The two head home afterwards and Hud tells Lon it felt like old times mentioning Lon's dad. Hud tells Lon "When you ain't bein' a pain in the tail, you remind me a lot of him." Hud starts talking about Norman (Lon's dad) remembering an episode where they got drunk and Norman convinced him that he could hear the grass grow. He tells Lon that was the night he crashed a car, killing Norman and walking away without a scratch himself. Hud expects the story will change Lon's opinion of him, but it doesn't. The two of them walk into the house singing loudly. Homer hears them and can tell they're drunk. He asks Lon "What else has he give you a taste for?" Homer tells Hud he doesn't have a problem with Lon having a drink, but Hud Hud asks what's bothering him. Homer: You, Hud. Like always. Lon: Hey, waht are you climbing on Hud foor? Homer: Yo think a lot of Hud, do ya? You think he's a real man. Well, you're being took in. Hud: You listen to him honcho. He's my daddy and he knows... Homer: I know ya. You're smart. You got your share of guts. You can talk a man into trusting ya, and a woman into wanting ya. Hud: I got it made ain't I? Homer: To hear you tell it. Hud: Why don't you get it off your chest. What's been griping ya all this time is what I dne to Norman, Homer: You were drunk and careless of your brother. Hud: You had fifteen years to get over it, that's half of my life. Homer: That's not our quarrel and never has been. Hud: The hell it isn't. Homer: No, boy. I was sick of you a long time before that. Hud: Well, isn't life full of surprises? All along, I thought it was because of what I done to my big brother. Homer: I took that hard, but I buried it. Hud: Well alright I'll bite. What turned you sour on me? Not that I give a damn. Homer: Just that Hud, you don't give a damn. That's all. That's the whole of it. You still don't get it, do ya? You don't care about people Hud. You don't give a damn about em. You got all that charm going for ya and it makes the youngsters want to be like ya. That's the shame of it, because ya don't value nothin'. You don't respect nothin'. You keep no check on your appetites at all. You live just for yourself and that makes ya not fit to live with. Hud: My Momma loved me, but she died. Hud leaves and Lon tells Homer he shouldn't pick on Hud, as everyone around is like him in some way. Homer tells him "That's no cause for rejoicing. Little by little the look of the country changes because of the men we admire" Lon: I still think you nailed him pretty hard. Homer: Did I? Maybe. Old people get as hard as their arteries. You're just going to have to make up your own mind one day, about what's right and what's wrong. Lon goes to check on Hud who's upset that Alma's asleep when he wants to eat something. Lon offers to cook something but Hud yells at him to leave while he has another drink. The next day Lon is out watching the rodeo. Hud stops by and finds him offering Lon ten dollars to get himself a good seat, and promises there's more money to come. Hud reveals that he's talked with a lawyer who told him "There's a law that says when old folks can't cut the mustard anymore, you can make them let go, whether they like it or not." Lon is disgusted with the idea and tries to return the ten dollars. Hud tries to explain that he just wants what he's worked for for years and says "You don't look out for yourself, the only helping hand you'll ever get is when they lower the box." Later on, Hud sits in his room drinking and watching TV. Homer comes in and confronts him about Lon has told him.Hud is proud to tell Homer that when the cattle situation is over, whatever happens "you better get yourself a rocking chair and get out of my way." Homer tells him there's no way he can get control of the property while he's above ground. Homer admits he might have made some mistakes and been too hard on Hud. Hud tells him "You ain't never been wrong." painting Homer as uncompromising and holier than thou, and the concluding "So I just naturally had to go bad in the face of so much good." Homer wonders how a man like Hud can be his son and leaves the room. Hud follows him yelling "You've got the same feeling beneath your belt as any other man, that's how you got stuck with me for a son." Lon hears the yelling and comes out of his room but Hud runs past him and heads to Alma's room when he sees her outside. SHe sees he's in rare form and runs inside, locking the door as fast as she can, but Hud kicks the door open and grabs her and starts kissing her forcibly, escalating as she struggles, meaning to rape her. Lon interrupts before that happens. Hud easily bests him, but can't bring hiself to punch Lon, so leaves instead. The next day the vet tells them that it is foot and mouth disease which means all of the animals have to be killed and quickly. The vet tries to cheer up Homer telling him he might sell some oil leases anyway. Hud speaks up about it saying "My Daddy thinks that oil is something you stick in your salad dressing." Homer says "If there's oil down there, you can get it sucked up after I'm under there with it. But, I don't like it and I don't aim to have it. There'll be no holes punched in this land while I'm here. They ain't gonna come in here and grade no road so the wind can blow me away. What's oil to me? What can I do with a bunch of rotten oil wells? I can't ride out every day and prowl amongst 'em like I can my cattle. I can't breed 'em or tend 'em or rope 'em or chase 'em or nothing. I can't feel a smidgen of pride in 'em 'cause they ain't none of my doing. Hud says "There's money in it." Homer answers "I don't want that kind of money. I want mine to come from something that keeps a man doing for himself." They then have a big pit dug to herd the cattle into. Homer gets all of the help together with guns and they shoot all the cattle from above until they're all dead while Homer forces himself to oversee it. Lon remarks "That didn't take long." And Homer says "It doesn't take long to kill things, not like it does to grow." Bulldozers start filling in the hole with dirt. Homer still has his two Longhorn steer and is watching them and one of the government guys notices them as well and moves to enter their pen. Homer tells him he's going to kill them himself, but the man says "There's no guarantee that you'll do it." The vet hears the argument and calls the man off, willing to take Homer's word. He apologizes to Homer who remarks "He ain't such a bad fella, just got a cruddy job." Homer next lets all of his ranch hands go and asks for his rifle. He tells Lon "I've chased them Longhorns many a mile. I don't know if I can kill 'em, but I guess I can." He tells Lon to go somewhere else and shoots them both, needing a couple shots for each. Hud listens a little ways away and tells Lon "Them old bulls are hard to kill." Alma is packing her things to leave. Lon gives her a ride to the bus station and tries to talk her into staying. She tells him to take care of his grandfather and not to be lazy and gives him a hug. Hud happens to be passing the bus stop and sees her there. He apologizes saying "Looks like we're losing a good cook. Maybe we should've boosted your salary a little. You ain't letting that little ruckus we had run you off?" Alma: As far as I can get on a bus ticket. Hud: You telling me i'm the first guy who ever stuck his foot in your door? Alma: No. Hud: First one who ever got rough huh? Well, I'm sorry. It ain't my style. I don't usually get rough with my women. I generally don't have to. Alma: You're rough on everybody. Hud: So they tell me. Alma: You want to know something funny? It would've happened eventually without the roughhouse. You look pretty good without your shirt on you know. The sight of that through the kitchen window made me put down my dish towel more than once. Hud: Why didn't you speak up sooner? The bus pulls up and Alma gets on. Hud calls after her :I'll remember you honey. You're the one that got away.The bus takes off. Lon is driving home in the dark and Hud comes up speeding behind him. Hud bumps into Lon's car to nudge him. Lon sees Homer crawling across the road and slams his brakes sending his car off the road. Hud doesn't know what happened and yells at Lon telling him he'll be paying to fix the car for a long time. Lon tells him he saw Homer in the road and Hud rushes out to check.Homer is still conscious and tells them he fell off his horse. Hud tells Lon to take his car and go call for an ambulance, but when the car won't start Hud tells him to bring the whiskey. Homer tells them he feels like giving up. He tells Hud "They're waiting on me. And he ain't a patient man." Hud tells Lon that Homer's gone. Hud tells Lon that "he couldn't have made it another hour, any way in the world." Lon answers "He could've if he'd wanted to. You fixed it so he didn't want to anymore." Hud: You don't know the whole story. Yeah, him and me fought many and many a round together, but I guess you could say that I helped him about as much as he ever helped me. Lon: How did you help him Hud? By trying to sell him out? By taking the heart out of him? By making him give up and quit? Is that how you helped him? We next see Lon and Hud at Homer's funeral service. One of the mourners tells Lon "Look at it this way, he's gone to a better place." Lon says "I don't think so. Not unless dirt is a better place than air." Lon walks away. We then see Hud pulling into their property with his car still damaged. He sees lon walking around and tells him they buried Homer. Lon is carrying his things and Hud asks him where he's going.Lon tells Hud he's going somewhere else to work for awhile. Hud expresses concern that Lon's too green to make it on his own. He tells Lon a story about his grandfather giving him a Mars bar when he joined the army and telling him, "Character's the only thing I got to give you. Be a man." Lon answers "Well I guess he was kind of worried, your trying so hard to get out of the draft and all." Hud tells Lon that if he isn't succesful he can come back and work for him, but Lon says he won't be back. Hud tells him " I guess you've come to be of your Granddaddy's opinion that I ain't fit to live with. That's too bad. Yeah, we mightta whooped it up some, you and me. That's the way you used to want it." Lon: I useta. So long, Hud. Lon starts walking again and Hud yells after him "You know something Fantan? This world's so fulla crap, a man's gonna get into it sooner or later whether he's careful or not." Hud walks into the empty house and gets a drink. He lights a cigarette, looking out the open door in thought. He then waves and closes the door behind him as he goes back in the house.

Opening title-card: Men have been rightly called the masters of the world. Men have subdued the wild animals. Men have penetrated deep into the jungle, and have been able to look at the moon and the planets. But there is still one place on Earth where no man has ever set foot nor has been even permitted to glimpse. We open inside a ladies lounge where Jill Baker (Merle Oberon) drinks a full glass of water. Her friends ask her about her problem, which is not clear yet. Jill powders her nose. Margie Stallings (Olive Blakeney) finally convinces her to go see Dr. Vengard (Alan Mowbray). Jill enters Dr. Vengards office, where he takes down her information. She tries to lie about her age, which he sees right and asks again. This age he writes down with a question mark next to it. Jill then claims to not have a problem, to which the Doctor replies that she is just not in-tune with herself. She tells him that her problem comes and goes. He asks What comes and goes? To which she says Hiccups. Dr. Vengard believes the hiccups are caused by a nervous condition, so he wants to run some tests. They step into another room. Time has passed, and Dr. Vengard has questioned Jill about her past, and now begins asking about her marriage and husband. After asking about her sleeping habits and making a comparison to being on a vegetable diet while the person next to you eats a steak, Jill relates this to her husband and starts hiccupping. Margie comes over to Visit Jill. They talk about Dr. Vengard, quickly moving to problems in her marriage. Jill tells Margie of the other morning when she had finally fallen asleep, only to be woken up by a gargle. Larry Baker (Melvyn Douglas) then comes home, exchanges a quick conversation of how are you, and then leaves again. Larry pops his head back in to ask if the Coopers are coming to dinner, so he knows whether to shave or not. This prompts the girls to discuss martial issues again, causing Jill to start hiccupping again. Larry reads the paper in his office. Jill comes in and tells him her hiccups are back. Thinking shes kidding, he pocks her in the stomach teasingly and goes back to the paper. Jill tries to talk to him again, this time Larry tells her about Mr. Kafka (Sig Ruman) coming to dinner next week. He tells her to make it have Hungarian influence for Kafka, and then practices a Hungarian toast. He pokes her in the stomach again. She questions him about it, and asks him not to keek her anymore as she leaves the room. Inter-card: And so the keeks was gone out of another marriage. Jill paces in the bedroom, while Larry sleeps. She climbs into bed and makes a bark like noise. Larry, in a half sleep, gets out of bed and lets the dog outside. She tells him it was her who made the noise. Just then the dog barks outside to which Larry shhs her. Jill enters Dr. Vengards office, who is out, so she waits with another man. He goes back and forth about wanting a cigarette. They begin talking, to which he speaks his mind and is touchy by what she says. He seems to hate everything. He thumbs through a magazine till he comes across an article entitled: The Happy Bakers. He asks her how she is so happy. After seeing she is uncomfortable, he goes to leave. She stops him asking him why he hates a certain painting. He compares it to the her article saying its misrepresentation. Jill and the man enter an art gallery. He finally introduces himself as Alexander Sebastian (Burgess Meredith). They both criticize the pieces of art, until they come across one that is suppose to be a portrait of Sebastian, but is just a bunch of different things. He describes what the different items mean. A line in the paining stands for his inhibition, for which he has gone to see Dr. Vengard about, as a musician he cant play in front of a crowd of people. Inter-card: There was a smell of Goulash at 685 park avenue when Universal Mattress and United Furniture were about to invade the Baker home. The Butler (Richard Carle) and Maid (Mary Currier) place the name cards on the dining table. Larry arrives at home and rushes into the living room, passing by Sebastian on the couch. He enters the bedroom where Jill is putting on makeup. The maid delivers a package to Larry, it is a record: Night in Budapest. Larry walks out into the living and plays the record. After a few seconds he is startled by Sebastian. Larry asks him what he thinks of Universal Mattress and United Furnitures merger, as well as Mr. Kafka. Sebastian, blowing past the questions, puts away a vase he finds ugly and orders scrambled eggs instead of Goulash. Larry returns to the bedroom, where his wife tells him about Sebastian and his piano playing. They begin arguing over the importance of tonights dinner. Larry notices a copy of the portrait of Sebastian on the bed. He asks what it is. After feeling his intelligence has been assaulted, he grabs a framed photo of himself and asks Jill what this is. He storms out. The guests have arrived and take their seats at the dining table. Larry gets Jill to say the Hungarian toast. The whole table is a buzz with laughter and smiles. Sebastian shows off his skills with the Hungarian language. This ignites the whole table into side conversations in Hungarian. The guests, finished with dinner, move into the living room. Larry locks the piano and turns on the record player and his new record. After a few seconds the record starts skipping, Sebastian grins at Larry, who turns off the player. Larry, urged by his attorney, Jones (Harry Davenport), of time running out, walks over to Kafka to make a proposition with him, but is cut off by Sebastian about to play the piano. Everyone sits down. A woman sits close to the piano, which makes Sebastian nervous. Jill asks the woman to move. Finding the piano locked, Jill searches for the key as Larry makes another move on Kafka, but is again cut off by Sebastian breaking the lid off the keys. Sebastian notices Jill has taken the ugly vase out while searching for the key, he asks her to put it away again. Sebastian mentions what he will play. Hearing how long it will be, Larry pulls Jones out of the room. The party is over, Sebastian plays the piano for Jill alone. He gets up and holds her in an embrace about to kiss her, Jill pulls away. Camera stays on the piano, silence as they are off screen. Suddenly, Sebastian comes back and plays the piano loudly and happily. She asks him to stop playing, he doesnt. Finally she leaves. He sits on the couch alone. Larry and Jones walk down the street talking about how things turned out fine with Kafka. Larry spots the portrait of Sebastian in a store window. He enters the store, and finds out what the painting is of: Sebastian. Larry leaves. Larry comes home to Jill practicing the piano. She tells him that she is sleeping better and the hiccups have disappeared. Larry sees Sebastians portrait on the wall. He comments how he thinks it looks like a man, to which Jill denies and makes up different meanings for it. Larry Paces in Jones office complaining about Sebastian. Jones brings in his secretary (Eve Arden) to get a womans point of view about the situation. Jones asks her about the problem, all the while not doing a very good job of disguising Larry as Mr. Brown. She tells him to kick Mrs. Brown out. The secretary leaves. Jones tells Larry to sell his wife on their marriage again, by using a new slant. Larry sneaks up behind Jill and puts her hands over her eyes. She thinks it is Sebastian playing around. She faints finding out it is Larry. He carries her over to the couch, as Sebastian bursts in singing. Larry leaves to get smelling salts, Sebastian puts the ugly vase away again. Larry hands Sebastian the smelling salts to wake up Jill. She wakes up laughing seeing Sebastian, but faints again seeing Larry. Larry this time carries her into the bedroom and closes the door. Larry steps out of the bedroom and talks to Sebastian about insuring his hands. Sebastian doesnt want to fight, claiming his hands are his life. Larry leads him into his office to talk more. Larry pulls out a gun, pointing it at Sebastian who pleads he doesnt love Jill. Larry punches Sebastian out, Larry wakes him up. Larry calls a hotel to reserve a room, then leaves his office, Sebastian follows. Larry pretends to forfeit, and tells Sebastian if Jill ever gets in a bad mood to just keeks her. Larry, Jill and Sebastian sit in Jones office discussing the grounds for the Bakers divorce. Larry wants to leave everything to Jill. Sebastian and Jones leave the office, allowing the Bakers to have a sentimental exchange about how their relationship has changed. Sebastian comes in, and upon seeing Jill in a mood, keeks her. Jones comes in saying the divorce is settled. Jill storms out with Sebastian after her. Larry and Jones have a drink over how well Larrys plan is going. Jill and Sebastian return, ready to go thru with the divorce once more. Sebastian keeks Larry in the stomach, Larry punches him to the floor. Now both Bakers upset again, Jones describes the plan to stage the grounds for divorce. After rehearsing, Jones calls his secretary in to be the witness, unbeknownst to her. They start their plan. The Bakers get into an argument, but come across like nervous actors. The secretary leaves the office, Jones calls her back in. They start the argument again, but when it comes time for Larry to slap Jill, he cant do it. Larry takes a drink, Sebastian gives him a pep talk. The argument begins again. Time for the slap, another drink and pep talk instead. Larry comes back, and in one motion slaps Jill then leaves. Jill and Sebastian soon follow. The Carlton Plaza: the butler visits Larry in his hotel room. He tells Larry that the entire staff, besides one, has left on the account of Sebastian. Jill paces in her bedroom, annoyed by Sebastian piano playing. Margie enters the house and makes her way into the bedroom. Her and Jill exchange pleasantries. Jill leaves and returns a few seconds later, the piano playing has stopped. Sebastian enters, accuses Margie of not liking his music, and then leaves. Sebastian calls Jill out to the living room to say he is leaving. Jill returns to the bedroom. Margie tells Jill of Larry spending time with another woman, which makes her hiccups return. Jill comes to visit Larry at his hotel room. She gives him some photos of when they were together. He looks thru them quickly, pretending not to care about them. He tries to get her to leave, she walks around the hotel room and then dashes towards the bedroom. Larry stops her from opening the door. She apologizes for everything, but he doesnt except it easily. Larry pulls out the photos again, they start laughing and remembering the photos events. Jill insists that she talks with the other woman in the bedroom. Larry agrees, but goes in first to set it up. Inside the bedroom, Larry lays on the bed smiling. This is no other girl. Larry wails in the bedroom, Jill listens nervously. Jones secretary then enters the hotel room. Jill hands her the handbag and quickly gets rid of her. Jill laughs knowing what Larry is up to. Larry runs out and grabs a glass of water, then runs back into the bedroom trying to keep up the scheme. Larry comes out again claiming it is hopeless. They say goodbye. Larry gives Jill a kiss and embrace, then says hell try and talk to the other woman again. Late at night, Sebastian enters the house and calls out to Jill. No answer. He begins to play the piano, when Larry exits the bedroom and tells him to play quieter. Sebastian now upset, grabs all the photos of himself and storms out of the house. Larry locks the door behind him and turns off all the lights going back into the bedroom. Inter-card: And the hiccups never came back. The End.

A stern Soviet woman sent to Paris to supervise the sale of jewels seized from Russian nobles finds herself attracted to a man who represents everything she is supposed to detest. Only the royal suite at the grandest hotel in Paris has a safe large enough for the jewels of the Grand Duchess Swana. So the three Russians who have come to sell the jewels settle into the suite until a higher ranking official is dispatched to find out what is delaying the sale. She is Ninotchka, a no-nonsense woman who fascinates Count Leon who had been the faithful retainer of the Grand Duchess. The Grand Duchess will give up all claim to the jewels if Ninotchka will fly away from the count. —Dale O'Connor <daleoc@interaccess.com> Three Russian officials arrive in 1930s Paris to sell the jewels that were once the property of the Grand Duchess Swana. The Duchess wants to reclaim her property and her friend, Leon, manages to stop the sale at least temporarily. With the time dragging on, a new no-nonsense Russian envoy, Ninotchka, arrives to take over the negotiations. She chastises her three colleagues for their obvious enjoyment of capitalistic society but soon finds herself charmed by Leon, at first not realizing he is involved with the jewels. They fall in love but it's unclear if there is any chance of their relationship ever becoming permanent. Leon sets out to ensure they do. —garykmcd Soviet emissaries Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski no sooner arrive in Paris to sell some jewelry for the government than soft capitalist ways begin to corrupt them. Grand Duchess Swana, former owner of the jewels but now exiled in Paris, sends her very good friend, playboy Leon d'Algout, to interfere with the sale. When sly Leon meets stern Comrade Nina Ivanovna, sent to take over from the hapless emissaries, east-west romance results; but major complications intervene. —Rod Crawford <puffinus@u.washington.edu>