Monte Landis

Pee-Wee Herman wakes from a dream in which he has won the Tour de France. After having breakfast, Pee-Wee decides to ride his bike down to the local shopping center. The bicycle itself is heavily customized, tricked out with specialized fenders, a spring-loaded ejection seat, custom wheel caps and a gold license plate declaring it's his property. Pee Wee keeps it in a hidden shed protected by a coded theft system and camouflaged by a bush. Pee Wee spends a short period of time polishing and admiring his bike before he meets up with Francis Buxton, a local and spoiled overgrown rich kid who wants to buy Pee-Wee's bike as a birthday gift for himself. Pee-Wee rebukes this offer and ridicules Francis, before cycling off, with Francis shouting after him that "he'll be sorry." Pee-Wee arrives at the shopping center, where he chains his bike to a clown statue, before stopping off at a nearby magic shop. Next, he goes to the local bicycle shop to procure a new horn. While there, an employee and friend of Pee-Wee's named Dottie, attempts to ask Pee-Wee on a date, which he refuses, telling her he's too much of a "loner" and a "rebel" for her. Pee-Wee then returns to his bike... only to find the chains destroyed and his bike gone. He returns to the bike shop and yells for Dottie and faints. Pee-Wee goes to the police, but they are unable to help him. When asked if anyone might have really wanted his bike, Pee-Wee surmises that Francis Buxton must have taken it. Pee-Wee sneaks into the Buxton's mansion, and forces Francis to confess. However, Francis' father explains that Francis couldn't have stolen the bike, since Francis and his father have been at the mansion setting up his birthday train set all morning. Pee-Wee is still determined to find his bike, and begins to post fliers and goes on the radio to alert people about it. Unknown to Pee-Wee, Francis did have a hand in the theft of his bike, hiring a shady guy to steal the bike for him. However, with Pee-Wee not giving up the search, Francis becomes nervous and pays the hired guy extra to get rid of the bicycle. Down on his luck, Pee-Wee wanders the rainy streets of town - scaring off a small gang merely by hissing at them - and visits a phony psychic, who convinces Pee-Wee that his bike is in the basement of The Alamo. Pee-Wee then sets out on his epic journey to get there. His first encounter while hitchhiking is with an escaped criminal named Mickey driving a stolen Edsel Corsair, who was arrested for cutting the tag off a mattress. Even with his criminal background, Pee-Wee still takes a shine to Mickey, and helps him get past a police roadblock. That evening, while driving, Pee-Wee almost gets them killed when he tries to swerve around a series of (impossible) turns in the road. Mickey has had enough of his eccentric travel-mate and orders Pee-Wee out of the car, before driving off into the dark night. Pee-Wee next hitches a ride from a rather strange trucker named Large Marge, who tells him a creepy story about "the worst accident I ever seen" which happened 10 years earlier on the very same road they're on. Pee Wee hangs on her every word until her face suddenly becomes horribly monstrous and he screams before she changes back. After dropping him off at a truck stop restaurant, and telling Pee-Wee "Be sure an' tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!" Pee-Wee is further shocked to find that Large Marge was killed ten years ago to the day... and that he was riding with her ghost. After the ordeal, Pee-Wee attempts to have a meal, but finds that his wallet is gone (which was stolen earlier by the phony psychic). After washing and drying dishes in the kitchen to pay for his meal, a friendly waitress named Simone asks him to watch the sunrise with her. They sit together in the mouth of a Tyrannosaurus Rex statue nearby, and while watching the sunrise, Simone and Pee-Wee discuss their dreams. Simone's dream is to one day go to Paris, but she feels her boyfriend Andy won't let her. Pee-Wee encourages her to follow her dreams. However, as they exit the statue at dawn, the hulking Andy is waiting to clobber Pee-Wee, thinking 'the worst' has happened. Pee-Wee escapes on a nearby freight train, where he runs into a hobo named Jack, who then proceeds to sing all manner of songs until Pee-Wee finally jumps from the train... which just happened to have arrived in San Antonio, Texas. Pee-Wee quickly seeks out the Alamo and takes a boring and sappy tour, only to find that it doesn't have a basement! Dejected and back to square one, Pee-Wee attempts to take a bus home, when he runs into Simone, who explains that she left Andy, and is planning to go to Paris and follow her dreams. Shortly after she leaves, her jealous boyfriend Andy appears, and on seeing Pee-Wee, gives chase. The chase leads them to a rodeo, where Pee-Wee, disguised as a cowboy, rides a bull. He stays on for a record amount of time but is thrown off. When he's spotted by Andy, the thug tries to catch him but is chased off by another bull. However, Pee-Wee suffers a slight concussion, and lapses into a temporary state of amnesia. When the small crowd that revived him asks if he can remember anything, he says he remembers the Alamo and they all cheer. Wandering the road lonely and lost, Pee-Wee finds a tavern, the private hangout of a gang named "Satan's Helpers", a loud and rowdy group of bikers. While trying to make a phone call, he shushes them. They eject him. After accidentally knocking over their bikes, the bikers are intent on killing Pee-Wee, but give into his 'last request,' and watch as he dons a pair of white platform loafers and dances to the song "Tequila". Having won them over, the bikers then give Pee-wee one of their motorcycles, and send him on his way. Unfortunately, Pee-Wee's first time on a motorcycle proves disastrous, and he crashes shortly thereafter. The gang escorts his ambulance to the hospital. After being rushed to the hospital, Pee-Wee has a strange dream about a group of clown-faced doctors trying to repair his bicycle and then having it dropped in a flaming cauldron, with Francis nearby, dressed as the Devil. Pee Wee wakes up a little later to see a television program, showing his bike had been donated to a child actor on the Warner Brothers studio lot. Immediately regaining his memory, Pee-Wee heads to Hollywood, California. After sneaking into the studio's backlot, he discovers that his bike is a prop in a movie about an orphaned kid who leaves it to the orphanage before he sets out on his own. Disguised as a nun, he steals the bicycle from the set. After leading the studio's security on a wild chase through various sound stages, including a Godzilla set, a beach party setup, one dedicated to Christmas and Santa and past the band Twisted Sister shooting a music video, Pee-Wee manages to escape from the studio, but not before finding a burning pet store nearby. Pee-Wee manages to rescue almost all the animals, but in the wake of his heroism, is arrested by the police for his transgressions on the studio lot. However, after hearing his side of the story and events, one of the studio's executives sees the potential for a movie based on Pee-Wee's 'big adventure.' Pee-Wee agrees, only to have the film made into an action film starring James Brolin as a spy and Morgan Fairchild as his love interest. Pee-Wee himself is relegated to a cameo as a hotel bellhop with a dubbed-over voice. Even so, Pee-Wee is thrilled, and invites all his friends and people he met on his trip to view the picture at the local drive-in. Mickey is there, still imprisoned and heavily guarded. Pee Wee gives him a footlong hotdog, but the guards find a hacksaw blade that Pee Wee had tried to pass Mickey. Simone is there with her new French boyfriend, Pierre. And his friends in the biker gang are there too. Francis even shows up, persuading a press junket about what "good friends" he and Pee-Wee are. Francis even attempts to sit on Pee-Wee's bike for a photo-op. Pee Wee of course wants no part of it but realizes his opportunity to have his revenge and invites Francis on. With the brat in place, Pee Wee triggers the bike's ejection seat and Francis is sent hurtling skyward. Dottie is there too, having finally gotten her date with him. Pee-Wee wants to leave early, admitting he doesn't need to see the whole film, since he already lived it.

A clip from the film "The Terror" is shown (the flooding scene at the end featuring actors Boris Karloff, Dick Miller, Jack Nicholson, etc.). The clip ends with the final fade out and it is revealed that it is being shown in a small screening room somewhere in Hollywood. The elderly star of the film, Byron Orlok (Boris Karloff), tells the producer, Marshall Smith (Monty Landis), that he has decided to retire from acting because he considers his performances no longer frightening in mainstream society. Marshall and the film's director, Sammy Michaels (director Peter Bogdanovich), try to convince him to appear in their next film, but Orlok refuses and plans to return to his native England to live out the rest of his life in peace. He refuses to even read the new script that Sammy gives to him. Orlok walks out with his young secretary, Jenny (Nancy Hsueh), who is Sammy's current girlfriend. Sammy follows him outside to persuade him to stay in Hollywood, but Orlok tells Sammy that he considers himself to be an anachronism because people are no longer frightened by horror films. "The world belongs to the young. Let them have it", says Orlok. Across the street, a young man named Bobby Thompson (Tim O'Kelly) is seen buying a high-powered semi-automatic .303 caliber hunting rifle and pays with it by check. He goes out to the parking lot to his white convertible and places the newly purchased rifle in his car truck which has more than 12 firearms of various calibers. Bobby drives along a freeway listening to the car radio and munching on a Baby Ruth candy bar. He arrives home in a suburb of the San Fernando Valley, where he lives with his wife Ilene (Tanya Morgan) and his parents, and has dinner with them. Across town, Orlok is dining with Jenny at a local restaurant when his manager, Ed Laughlin (Arthur Peterson), arrives and tries to persuade him to stay in town at least for a few days to attend the premiere of "The Terror" at a local Racine drive-in theater the following evening. But Orlok refuses and even refuses to speak to Marshall over a phone call that Ed tries to set up. After dinner, Bobby and his father go out to a shooting range where they shoot at tin can targets. Bobby has a keen talent from shooting guns, apparently due to his recent military service. Since Bobby still lives with his parents, it is convenient for him and his father, Robert Thompson Sr., to go out shooting together. While his father is setting up more tin targets Bobby, for some odd reason, points his rifle at his father, seemingly intent on shooting him. Robert Thompson sees Bobby aiming the rifle at him and orders him to put the rifle down, because pointing a gun a people goes against everything that he has taught his son. That evening, Orlok is in his hotel suite with Jenny who is setting up his schedule for his return to England the following day. Jenny also tries to persuade Orlok to stay at least for the premiere of his latest film, but Orlok tells her that he is through with the film industry and still refuses to read Sammy's script. Orlok then sends her home while he stays alone in his room to watch TV. At the Thompson house that evening, the whole family is watching TV together when Ilene says that she has to go to her night job as a switchboard operator. Bobby follows her to the bedroom and wants to talk to her, saying that he has not been feeling well lately and has been getting "funny ideas". But since she is late for her job, she tells him that she does not have time to talk and leaves. He asks her not to take his car, but take his mother's car to work and she agrees. After Ilene leaves and his parents go to bed for the night, Bobby goes to his car and takes out one of his guns, a .45 caliber semi-automatic pistol, before returning to the house. At Orlok's hotel room, he orders room service and watches himself on one of his old films "The Criminal Code" that is playing as a late-night movie. Sammy arrives and demands that Orlok hand over his script and they both watch the film together. Over drinks, Sammy again tries to convince Orlok to appear in his latest film because the script that he wrote will cast Orlok as a real life person rather than a boogeyman. But the bitter Orlok announces that he is still fed up with the film industry and shows Sammy that people are more frightened by the latest newspaper headings about crimes committed by random people than horror films. Sammy gets so drunk that he attempts to leave, but collapses and Orlok puts him in his own bed. Soon afterwords, he also collapses drunk next to Sammy. Meanwhile, at the Thompson house, Bobby is sitting alone in his bedroom chain smoking when Ilene returns home. His tone of voice is now very cold and he asks her not to turn on the lights because he has a headache. When she asks him what he wanted to talk to her about and why he is perplexed, he no longer wants to talk and asks her to go to bed. The next morning, after his father has apparently left for work, Bobby types out a note and when Ilene walks in the room, he suddenly takes out his .45 caliber pistol and violently shoots her dead. When Bobby's mother runs into the room, he shoots her dead too. He then shoots an unfortunate grocery delivery man who enters the house. Bobby hides the bodies in rooms throughout the house, hides the bloodstains and leaves, leaving behind a note saying that he has killed his wife and mother and will continue killing until he is caught or killed. In Orlok's hotel suite, a hungover Sammy wakes up, sees a sleeping Orlok next to him and jumps, waking Orlok up. Sammy says that he was having a nightmare and woke up to see Byron Orlok. As Orlok gets up to answer a knock on his front door, he passes a mirror and he, too, jumps upon seeing his own reflection. Jenny has arrived with Orlok's itinerary with his plane tickets to New York, as well as his tickets for the ship to take him back to England. However, Orlok finally agrees to make the final promotional appearance at the Racine Drive-In that evening for the premiere of his latest film. Across town, Bobby arrives at another gun store and asks for 300 rounds of ammunition for his new rifle, as well as box of 12-gauge buckshot for his double-barreled shotgun. Despite the fact that Bobby looks a little jittery and of the unusually large quantity of ammunition requested, the clerk sells him the ammunition. When the clerk asks Bobby about the order, Bobby tells him that he is going out to "shoot some pigs." In Orlok's hotel suite, he, Jenny, and Sammy, along with a brash radio disc jockey named Kip Larkin (Sandy Baron) discuss his appearance at the drive-in theater for that night and Orlok decides to rehearse to them a ghost story that he plans to tell the audience after the film's premiere. Meanwhile, Bobby drives to an industrial center and, after parking his car, pulls out of the trunk all of his guns in a large pouch and enters an abandoned amusement park that sits next to an oil storage tank facility, where he scales a cinder block wall and climbs up the stairs of one of the oil tanks that sits alongside a busy freeway. Bobby lays out all of his rifles and pistols that he brought with him as if displaying them for himself and then eats a sandwich and drinks soda pop that he also brought before taking aim with his new high-powered rifle at motorists traveling along the road and opens fire, killing and/or wounding many, after which some cars veer off the road. An oil company worker investigates the shooting, but Bobby kills him too with a blast from his shotgun as he is reloading. When Bobby hears police sirens and sees police cars approaching on the freeway, he grabs most of his guns and runs down the stairs and back to his car, but drops several of his weapons, including his .45 caliber pistol, an unused .44 caliber Magnum revolver, his shotgun, a rifle and some boxes of ammunition. As Bobby drives away, a police car appears and give chase, but he eludes it by driving into the very same drive-in theater that is showing Orlok's latest film "The Terror" that night. After reloading and having a meal from the concession stand, Bobby carries his remaining guns in his U.S. Army pouch and walks through a door leading to the screen. When it gets dark and the film finally begins, Bobby climbs up the structure and begins to shoot the viewers through a small hole in the screen. He first shoots a man in a telephone booth and then shoots people in their cars one by one. He even shoots and kills the projectionist. Just then, Orlok arrives for his special appearance and the limo parks close to the screen. Meanwhile, many viewers start to leave because they realize that there is a sniper present. A traffic jam ensues. When Bobby pauses to reload, he accidentally knocks over his last few boxes of ammunition. Panicking, Bobby climbs down the screen and tries to retrieve the ammo from a drain, but without any success. Some male viewers take guns from the trunks of their cars and charge towards the screen. Seeing the vigilante mob approach, Bobby runs to an area at the side of the screen and opens fire randomly. One of his shots seriously injures Jenny as she gets out of the limo. The police soon arrive, as does Sammy, and they try to find both Orlok and the sniper. Orlok walks angrily towards the screen as Bobby finally runs out of ammunition for his rifle and opens fire with one of his smaller pistols. He gets confused when he sees Orlok's character on the screen walking towards him and, at the same time, sees the real Orlok walking toward him as well. Bobby first shoots Orlok, but misses and only grazes his forehead with the bullet. Bobby takes aim and shoots at the Orlok on the screen. Blinded by police searchlights zeroing in on him, Bobby fires widely until he runs out of ammo. When Bobby takes out another one of his pistols, Orlok rushes up, knocks the gun out of Bobby's hand with his walking cane and beats Bobby with it, as well as literally slapping him into submission. Bobby then cowers in fear as Orlok says, "Is that what I was afraid of?" Two policemen run up to the screen and arrest Bobby. As he is being led away, Bobby says to his police captors, "I hardly ever missed, did I?" Bobby is taken away in a police car while Sammy tends to Orlok and takes him away in the limo as the crowd of people and cars file out of the drive-in theater. The film's final scene shows the deserted drive-in theater the morning after which is now empty, except for Bobby's white car sitting alone in the empty lot as the closing credits silently roll.

When singer Guy Lambert goes on tour in Europe, he is pursued by two beautiful women, bumbling jewel thieves, and a mysterious killer. A rock singer touring England gets involved with a wealthy teenage heiress in London. Turns out the girl's uncle is trying to steal her money, putting her life in danger, and is also involved in a jewel smuggling operation. —frankfob2@yahoo.com When singer Guy Lambert and his entourage travel from Swinging London to Antwerp on a tour, he is followed by Jill Conway, a beautiful but unworldly heiress, and Claire Dunham, a sexy society sophisticate. Complicating matters are a pair of ineptly comical jewel thieves who have hidden smuggled diamonds in Jill's luggage, a trio of bumbling Closeau-like Flemish detective, and a mysterious murderer, who seems bent on killing Jill. —duke1029

The Mouse that Roared The world's smallest nation, the Duchy of Grand Fenwick, which lies on the Swiss-French border, is quietly and prosperously ruled by the Grand Duchess Gloriana XII (Peter Sellers), with the assistance of the Hereditary Prime Minister, Count Rupert of Mountjoy (Peter Sellers), the Hereditary Field Marshall and Grand Constable, Tully Bascombe (Peter Sellers) and the Leader of the Loyal Opposition, David Bentner (Leo McKern). Disaster strikes, however, when the Duchy's only export, its wine, Pinot Grand Fenwick, is undercut in the United States by a Californian copy, Pinot Grand Enwick. Faced with bankruptcy, and having had no reply to its protests, the Duchy decides to declare war on the United States, Mountjoy having reasoned that it will certainly lose and will then be magnificently rehabilitated by the generous, victorious Americans. A Declaration of War is duly sent, but is considered a press-room joke by its recipient in Washington. Tully Bascombe, his lieutenant Will Buckley (William Hartnell), and twenty soldiers, in chain mail and armed with longbows, including Roger (Timothy Bateson) and Cobbley (Monte Landis) and (Alan Gifford), are sent to invade the United States, making the first part of their journey by bus and then by tramp steamer, captained by Pedro (Harold Kasket), encountering, en route, the QEII (captain Stuart Saunders, second officer Ken Stanley), which they mistakenly attack. In New York, an air-raid exercise has closed the entire city, with the exception of the laboratory of Professor Alfred Kokintz (David Kossoff) at the New York Institute of Physics, where he and his daughter Helen (Jean Seberg) are working on the new Q-bomb: an air-raid warden (Wally Brown) tries to get them to take shelter, but the Professor shows him the Q-bomb - an active working model on a hair-trigger - which he must deactivate first. The Grand Fenwick party land, but can find no-one to surrender to: in Central Park, they encounter a decontamination squad, Mulligan (Richard Gatehouse) and O'Hara (George Margo), who believe the Fenwickians in their shiny mail are "men from Mars" invading the city: this rumour rapidly spreads through the crowds in the shelters. The Grand Fenwick party takes the decontamination squad's van, trying to reach the Arsenal, but instead end up at the Institute of Physics, where they take Prof. Kokintz, Helen and the Q-bomb captive. General Snippet (Macdonald Parke), in charge of the New York exercise, alerted by an army captain (Bill Edwards) of the spread of rumours of "men from Mars", arrives with four New York policemen (Bill Nagy): they are also taken captive. Leaving the Grand Fenwick flag flying from the New York customs shed, the Grand Fenwick party re-embarks and returns home. Prof. Kokintz persuades Helen to try and seduce Tully, to persuade him to allow her father to deactivate the Q-bomb, but Tully, seasick, is unreceptive. In France, the Americans cannot get anyone (ticket collector, Jacques Cey) to listen to them. Back in Grand Fenwick the whole country is excitedly preparing to welcome the American victors, and planning what to spend the money on: they are dumbfounded when Tully arrives with his prisoners and declares that Grand Fenwick won. The Q-bomb is taken to the dungeons, Prof. Kokintz and his daughter to the castle, and the General and policemen to the "Museum of Ancient Torture" before the policemen are also taken to comfortable quarters in the castle: the General, insisting on his exact rights under the Geneva Convention, is shown to a small, dim cell with a tin plate of food. The U.S. Secretary of Defense (Austin Wills) finally puts together the pieces and realizes that the United States has been defeated: he has to tell the President, persuade the Pentagon generals (Lionel Murton) that this is the only course, and then go to Grand Fenwick to surrender. Meanwhile Grand Fenwick by its possession of the Q-bomb has now become the most powerful nation on the planet, as explained by the BBC Announcer (Colin Gordon). In Grand Fenwick's parliament, messages of support arrive from numerous other countries - all offering also to take the Q-bomb. The British (Charles Clay), French (Henry de Bray) and Soviet (Guy Deghy) Ambassadors convene at the frontier, and Will Buckley makes the U.S. Secretary of Defense, arriving to discuss the U.S.'s surrender, wait also. In frustration, Mountjoy and Bentner, and their parties, all resign, leaving Tully as the new Prime Minister. Mountjoy and Bentner now decide the only course is to help the Americans to escape and take the Q-bomb with them: they release the General and policemen, and give them the Q-bomb, and they also persuade Helen to leave, but not before Tully has declared his love for her: Prof. Kokintz, being entertained by the Duchess on the harpsichord, cannot be found. Taking the Duchess' elderly car, the Americans drive away, but are pursued by Tully. The car stalls and has to be pushed over a hill-crest: it then runs away with the General and the Q-bomb on board, running into a haystack, which sets the Q-bomb into high alert mode: tossed from hand to hand, it is captured by Tully and returned to the Duchy. Tully and the U.S. Secretary of Defense now discuss the peace treaty terms; the Californian wine will be discontinued, Prof. Kokintz and Helen, who will now marry Tully, will remain in Grand Fenwick, and so will the Q-bomb: as the Duchess points out, any atomic war would destroy Grand Fenwick anyway, and the big nations have not succeeded in nuclear disarmament, so now it is time for a League of Little Nations to try. Prof. Kokintz, finally allowed to disarm the Q-bomb, drops it! It was a dud all along: or was it? The little white mouse that emerges from it may know.