Peter Segal

Paul "Wrecking" Crewe (Adam Sandler) is a former NFL player disgraced for shaving points in a big game. He gets in an argument with his rich girlfriend, Lena (Courteney Cox), regarding his failure. He locks her in a closet, gets drunk, and goes joyriding in her Bentley Continental GT through San Diego. After completely wrecking the car and disabling several police cruisers in the process, he gets arrested and convicted for grand theft auto and driving while intoxicated and is sentenced to three years in Allenville Penitentiary in Texas. In prison, Warden Hazen (James Cromwell) asks Crewe to help the prison guards' football team. Crewe, under threat of an extra five years in prison for a falsified accusation of attacking Captain Knauer (William Fichtner), decides to help him. He informs Hazen that what his team needs is a tune-up game, in which they play a team like Appalachian State in order to boost morale. Hazen decides that Crewe, with the help of a fellow inmate, Caretaker (Chris Rock), will make a team out of the inmates for them to play as their tune-up game. He starts off with a poorly organized team, before being noticed by another prisoner, former college football star Nate Scarborough (Burt Reynolds), who decides to help him by coaching the team. Crewe, Nate and Caretaker find a rating system on the criminals (up to five stars, depending on how prone to violence they are). They all set out to find and recruit some five-star inmates: linebacker "Battle" (Bill Goldberg); fullback Turley (Dalip Singh Rana); and at safety, Torres (Lobo Sebastian), a chain-smoking outsider. But after realizing their team is built on power and nastiness (primarily on defense) and there are no offensive threats on the team, Crewe realizes he needs more players. Caretaker suggests that it is due to their lack of "brothers", as they only have one currently on their team: defensive lineman Switowski (Bob Sapp), a childlike and friendly, but large strongman. Crew approaches the black inmates, but one of them, Deacon Moss (Michael Irvin), says that none of them want to play on his team because of Crewe's point-shaving history. So, Crewe challenges Deacon to a 1-on-1 basketball game where if Crewe wins, the men will join the team. They play basketball and call their own fouls, with Crewe getting physically punished during the game. Despite Crewe losing, one of the black inmates, Earl Megget (Cornell "Nelly" Haynes, Jr.), is impressed by Crewe's resilience and joins the team, which Deacon allows with no consequence. Megget becomes the team's running back by impressing Crewe with his running ability. After a tip from Unger (David Patrick Kelly) that Crewe and Meggett are the only real offensive threats on the team, Captain Knauer, the guards' quarterback, decides that the guards should try to stop Megget by trying to get him to assault one of them and sticking him in solitary confinement. Three guards, Denham (Stone Cold Steve Austin), Garner (Brian Bosworth), and Engleheart (Kevin Nash) try to provoke Megget by using racial slurs and making him pick up books they dropped on the floor repeatedly. The guards give up on this after he withstands their harassment without being provoked. Witnessing this, Moss, "Cheeseburger" Eddy (Terry Crews), and the rest of black inmates agree to join the football team. Hazen and guards go to extreme lengths to stop Crewe's squad, even flooding their field, but the team overcomes these obstacles. Caretaker suggests that since the guards have been playing dirty, that the inmates should start acting more like criminals, such as swapping Engleheart's Anabolic steroids for estrogen pills, examining x-rays of guards with broken bones, and acquiring tapes of the guards' past games from Hazen's elderly secretary Lynette (Cloris Leachman), in exchange for Crewe playing sexual games with her and Brucie (Nicholas Turturro) caught in love with a sissy called Miss Tucker (Tracy Morgan) by camera CCTV. After watching 2 comedy videos, Scarborough plays the guard's past games videos in order to examine the guard's formation to his teammates. Without feeling conscious, Unger secretly see the activities of the inmates who were watching a movie, and he immediately told Guard Garner. To sabotage the inmates' morale, the guards Garner, Engleheart, Holland, and Lambert have Unger plant a bomb in Crewe's cell during the inmate's last practice. Crewe, deciding to stay with the team for their post-practice hype, doesn't notice Caretaker going to Crewe's cell to leave him a present. Unger, waiting for Crewe to enter his cell, doesn't notice Caretaker going into Crewe's cell. Caretaker places an old college picture of Crewe as a present on top of his radio. Caretaker listens to the "music" that Crewe was listening to (set up by Unger to provoke Caretaker to change the station) and does change the channel, causing the bomb to explode. Unger, still not knowing it was Caretaker, closes the cell door to keep any help from arriving. Crewe and Scarborough arrive too late and watch Caretaker burn to his death. At the funeral the next day, Crewe and the football team leave presents for Caretaker including a bible from Moss, "Cheeseburger" Eddy's Cheesburger with fries, Caretaker's stopwatch and whistle from Scarborough, and a picture of his mother from Crewe that he showed him a few nights before. During game day, the inmates, now calling themselves "Mean Machine", with gear provided by the late Caretaker, overcome a rough start, and Crewe has to help the team realize that winning the game is more important than personal grudges. One of the referees is also corrupt, and Crewe has to coerce him to make fair calls by giving up two downs to throw the ball in his groin. The first half ends with the score tied. The angered Hazen informs Crewe that if he does not lose he would be framed for the murder of Caretaker. Crewe acquiesces to Hazen's threat. After the guards score touchdowns while inflicting punishment on the inmates, while Crewe fakes an injury to leave the field. Crewe returns to the field, but the other inmates, believing he has returned to his old point-shaving ways, ignore him, and allow him to get tackled twice. After losing his helmet and still getting the first down, Crewe admits his sabotage to the other inmates, and asks for their forgiveness. United again as a team, the Mean Machine scores two touchdowns to cut the guards' lead to 35-28, but Megget injures his knee. Scarborough comes in for one play as replacement and scores a touchdown off a trick play involving a fumble called a Fumblerooski. They decide to go for the two-point conversion, and the win. As they get up to the line they seem to be confused, and Crewe and Coach start arguing in order to trick the guards. Moss gets the snap and passes it to Crewe, who scores the winning conversion. Knauer, with a newfound respect for Crewe, lets him know that he will testify that Crewe had nothing to do with Caretaker's death. Hazen admonishes Knauer for losing a fixed game and notices that Crewe is heading towards the exit along with the fans. Retrieving a sniper-rifle, he demands that Crewe be shot for attempting to escape. Knauer hesitates because of the numerous people near Crewe. Knauer sights up Crewe, but hesitates again, calling out Crewe's name to get him to stop. As Crewe picks up the game football and returns back, Knauer angrily hands the rifle back to Hazen and leaves, while Crewe gives the game ball to Hazen, telling them to place it in his trophy case. Moss and Battle pour a cooler of Gatorade on Hazen in a mockery of a typical football game celebration. Hazen angrily shouts that they will receive a week in the hotbox. Battle yells back, "Who gives a s**t!"

Henry uses his imagination to win over Lucy since he is erased from her mind every night. He must make her fall in love with him again the next day...and the next...and the next!

In 1978, a young Dave Buznik (Adam Sanlder) is about to kiss the girl of his dreams, when a local bully, Arnie Shankman, pulls down his pants and underwear, embarrassing him in front of everybody. This leaves Dave with lasting trauma about public affection, as well as repressing his emotions. In the present day, Dave Buznik lives in New York, working as a secretary for Frank, an abusive boss who takes credit for Dave's work. His problems also extend to his private life, much to the concern of his girlfriend Linda (Marisa Tomei). Her ex-boyfriend and best friend Andrew is in her life constantly, and makes no resistance in being condescending to Dave. While flying to a business meeting, Dave sits next to a man named Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson). Buddy irritates Dave, and after Buddy pressures Dave to watch a movie with him, Dave asks the flight attendant for a headset. She ignores him, and when Dave asks her again, she overreacts and demands that he keep calm. The flight's sky marshal appears, overreacting to the situation as well, and tasers Dave. Dave is then arrested, tried, found guilty of assault, and sentenced to anger management therapy. Arriving at his first therapy session, he discovers that his therapist is Buddy. There, Dave meets a diverse group with assorted mental issues. Dave loses his temper more than once, mostly due to Buddy's odd therapy techniques. After the session, Buddy tells Dave that he will have to attend double the entire therapy course, recognizing Dave's problem as passive-aggressive anger. Later that night at a bar, Dave and Chuck, his "Anger Ally", played by John Turturro, get into a confrontation due to Chuck's anger. Dave accidentally strikes a cocktail waitress, while trying to stop a bar fight that Chuck had just started. Due to this, Dave ends up landing back in court. There, brash Buddy enlists Dave in his intense anger management therapy, moving into Dave's apartment, where he finds various ways to aggravate him. Among these, Buddy accompanies Dave to work where he insults Dave's boss and Andrew, whose father knows Frank. After receiving a phone call for Buddy, Dave is asked to tell him that his mother is having minor surgery in Boston. As a joke, he exaggerates its seriousness. Regretting his deceit, Dave confesses and Buddy forgives him, but vows to get him back. Buddy then tells Dave that he has to accompany him to Boston to check on his mother. On the way back to New York, they stop at a restaurant. There, Dave meets and goes home with an attractive woman at Buddy's insistence. He later comes back to the bar after rejecting her out of loyalty to Linda. Later, Dave is devastated to learn that Buddy has told Linda about the woman. Buddy reveals that the woman is actually a former patient of his and that this was his way of getting back at Dave. Buddy agrees that when they get back to New York, he will tell Linda the truth. On their way back, Buddy takes a detour to a Buddhist temple, so that Dave can confront Arnie. Now a monk, he is remorseful for his previous behavior, except for pulling down his pants when they were still kids. Buddy quickly starts a confrontation by lying to Arnie about insulting comments Dave made about Buddha and things that he did to tease Arnie's nutty sister. Dave beats Arnie in a fight, then he and Buddy are chased from the grounds. Back in New York, Dave attempts to propose to Linda but loses his nerve. Disappointed, Linda suggests that they take a break from their relationship. Later, Dave learns that Buddy has started dating Linda. He has an outburst and attacks Buddy, prompting him to end up in court on assault charges. Afterwards, Dave's boss browbeats him to return his latest assignment and gives the promotion Dave was clamoring for, to Andrew. Fed up, Dave snaps in his boss' office, punches Andrew out after ordering him to stay away from Linda, humiliates his boss and orders him to give him the promotion, to which he agrees. Dave learns that Buddy is taking Linda out to a New York Yankees game that night. Assuming that Buddy has stolen his idea of proposing to her at a game, he races to the stadium, runs out onto the field. Security captures him and begins to remove him from the stadium but Mayor Rudy Giuliani orders them to allow Dave to speak. He proposes to Linda but before she says yes, she wants him to prove his love by kissing her in front of everyone. When he does, she tells him that he has graduated from anger management. Linda then explains how she first approached Buddy while attending one of his anger management lectures and that everything that has happened was a setup for Dave's therapy; the Judge, the female flight attendant and the waitress were all friends of Buddy's and were part of the setup... except for the Air Marshal that shocked Dave with the taser, who was just another disgruntled passenger on the flight at the time. Dave, Linda, Buddy and the other therapy group members are celebrating Dave's graduation in Central Park, when a man approaches and asks for Buddy. When Buddy steps forward, the man pulls a gun and points it at him. Dave confronts the man, citing what he has learned from Buddy. The situation is defused when the man squirts water in Dave's face, revealing the pistol to be a toy, and Dave stating that he's a friend of his. The group laughs then sings together as the movie ends.