Seann William Scott

A young woman, Macy, fights for survival after being abducted by a deranged, monster-like figure who wants to raise Macy as their child.

In the near future, a 'Grand Lottery' has been newly established in California - the catch: kill the winner before sundown to legally claim their multi-billion dollar jackpot. In the very near future, the Grand Lottery has been established in economically-challenged California. The only catch? Kill the winner before sundown and you can legally claim their prize. New Los Angeles transplant Katie (Awkwafina) accidentally finds herself with the winning ticket and must join forces with amateur jackpot protector Noel (John Cena) to make it to sundown in order to claim her multi-billion dollar prize, while dealing with Noel's protection rival Louis Lewis (Simu Liu), who also wants to get her to sundown in order to claim his rich protection commission. —Anonymous

Becky finds herself going toe to toe against the leader of a fascist organization.

Thirteen years after graduating high school, Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs), Chris ``Oz`` Ostreicher (Chris Klein), Kevin Myers (Thomas Ian Nicholas), Paul Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), and Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott) are well-established in their lives and careers. Jim is still married to Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) and now has a two-year-old son, Evan. Since the birth of their son, Jim and Michelle`s sex life has deteriorated. Oz is an NFL sportscaster living in Los Angeles with his supermodel girlfriend Mia (Katrina Bowden). Kevin is married to Ellie and works from home as an architect. Finch tells his friends that he has been traveling the world, and still searching for his one true love. Stifler works as a temp at an investment firm, where he is also the victim of cruel verbal abuse by his arrogant employer.

Danny Donahue (Paul Rudd) and Wheeler (Sean William Scott) are two Los Angeles salesmen for an energy drink, Minotaur. They tour Los Angeles-area schools driving a Minotaur-themed SUV to deliver infomercials disguised as anti-drug speeches. Wheeler loves the job but Danny, on the other hand, hates the job and possesses a constant negative attitude toward life, which results in the collapse of his relationship with his girlfriend, attorney Beth. Hoping to get his life back on track, Danny spontaneously proposes to her; not only does she turn him down, she breaks up with him. One day after making a disastrous sales presentation at a high school, the duo finds that their company truck is being towed away. They protest by trying to drive it away from the tow truck, but end up crashing it into a school statue. Danny and Wheeler are arrested and the judge sentences the two to a 30-day jail sentence. Beth, however, manages to strike a deal with the judge in which they have to log 150 hours of community service over the next thirty days. The judge selects for their community service a big-brother style program called Sturdy Wings, led by Gayle Sweeny (Jane Lynch), an ex-drug addict, who takes an instant dislike to Danny and Wheeler. Aware that their presence at Sturdy Wings is court-ordered she warns them that she won't accept any B.S. from them and that if they fail to carry out their tasks to her satisfaction, she will have them sent to prison. Wheeler is paired up with Ronnie Shields, a foul-mouthed, streetwise miscreant obsessed with boobs who has driven away all the other adults he has been paired with, while Danny is paired up with Augie Farks, a nerdy teenager obsessed with live action fantasy role-playing games. Initially, the pair find their task extremely difficult, with Danny unable to find any common ground with Augie and his narrow interests, and Ronnie taking virtually no interest in Wheeler. After a few days they gradually bond with their respective partners; Ronnie takes an interest in Wheeler's favorite band KISS and discovers that Wheeler shares his obsession with boobs, whilst Danny reluctantly participates in Augie's medieval live action role playing group, "LAIRE". During a Sturdy Wings camping trip, Wheeler uses Danny's Ambien to try to have drugged-out sex with another mentor who instead passes out naked in full view of the other children, Ronnie and Augie cover for their mentors. At the same time, Danny tries to make up with Beth for his mistakes, but to no avail. Beth must commit to the break-up, as she feels it's for the best. Unfortunately, their success is cut short when Augie manages to "kill" the arrogant King Argotron (Ken Jeong) during one of the role playing games, with the latter lying and claiming he killed Augie first. When Danny angrily defends Augie, the King permanently bans them both, causing Augie to cry in front of everyone, including Esplen (Alexandra Stamler), who he has a crush on. Wanting to apologize to Augie, Danny goes to dinner at his house. Augie's mother, Lynette (Kerri Kenney), and her live-in boyfriend, Jim (Ken Marino) are glad Augie has been kicked out of LAIRE and thank Danny for helping that happen. Seeing how unhappy Augie is, Danny criticizes Lynette's and Jim's parenting skills and for not supporting Augie's hobby. Both Lynette and Jim are insulted by this, and Danny is then kicked out of their home. Nevertheless, Danny still defends Augie. Wheeler, meanwhile, takes Ronnie to an adult party in Venice and leaves him unsupervised while he has sex with a blonde he meets at the party. Feeling abandoned, Ronnie walks all the way home by himself. Ronnie's and Augie's parents consequently ask Sturdy Wings to assign them new mentors and Gayle expels Wheeler and Danny from the program, thus failing to meet the 150-hour goal needed to complete their community service . As such, the pair is given a court appointment where they will likely have to serve their thirty days in jail. In the elevator, Danny berates Wheeler for leaving Ronnie behind while Wheeler scolds him about his whining. The two have a falling out and go their separate ways. Wheeler goes to Ronnie's house and gets permission from Ronnie's mother to hang out with Ronnie after he gets out of jail. Meanwhile, Danny looks through his closet and finds the battle attire Augie had given him. Remorseful for his actions, he secretly meets with the LAIRE king to negotiate Augie's readmission where Augie can fight in that afternoon's Battle Royale, the final battle of the year. Danny then sneaks Augie out of his house so they can prepare for the Battle Royal that day but while Danny is visiting, Augie learns that Xanthia, the fantasy "nation" to which he belongs has expelled both Augie and Danny, the former being that Augie is too much of a liability. Danny offers to form a new team with him, but a team must have at least four members. Danny calls Wheeler and asks him and Ronnie to join the battle so that Augie will have enough teammates. Dressed up as the members of KISS and riding in the Minotaur SUV, Danny, Augie, Ronnie and Wheeler arrive ready to fight in the Battle Royale as members of KISS-My-Anthia, a new nation. Augie's parents, Ronnie's mom, Gayle, and Beth come to watch. Near the end of the battle, Augie squares off against the King and kills him in front of everyone. His victory is short-lived as a hidden player, Esplen, attacks and defeats him. Augie's parents, Lynette and Jim, congratulate Augie for his performance and recognize how happy he is when role-playing. In the after-battle party, Augie finally speaks to Esplen, who asks him to be her co-regent and the two kiss. Danny serenades Beth in front of everyone with an improvised version of the KISS song "Beth" and the two reconcile. Gayle, impressed with the pair's efforts, promises to intervene with the judge, with whom she has a long-standing relationship, so that Wheeler and Danny will be able to get their names cleared.

Cousins Bo (Seann William Scott), Luke (Johnny Knoxville), and Daisy Duke (Jessica Simpson) run a moonshine business for their Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson) in Hazzard County, Georgia in modern day. Hazzard is a small town where everybody knows everyone else. The town moves very slowly, except the Dukes. The cousins' primary mode of transportation is an orange 1969 Dodge Charger that the boys affectionately refer to as 'The General Lee'. Along the way, the family is tormented by corrupt Hazzard County Commissioner Jefferson Davis Hogg, widely known as "Boss Hogg" (Burt Reynolds), Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane (M.C. Gainey), and his willing but dimwitted henchman Deputy Enos Strate (Michael Weston). Bo and Luke Duke are on a moonshine delivery when one of their customers finds Luke having sex with his sister. The brother and his father chase the Duke brothers but Bo gets The General Lee stuck at a construction site on a farm. Bo drove over a broken bridge and avoids an oncoming truck breaking a fence and getting inside a farm where he gets the car stuck between 2 huge construction machines. Billy Prickett (James Roday), a famous stock-car driver, enters Hazzard to participate in the annual Hazzard County Rally having won four times before becoming a professional racer, a record Bo seeks to break. A fight breaks out between the Dukes and Prickett's crew after one of the Prickett's makes a move on Daisy. The fight gets out of hand and is stopped by Coltrane, who tells the Dukes the construction workers vandalized their car, and it was towed to a local mechanic, Cooter Davenport. This would ruin Bo's attempt at winning his fifth consecutive local Hazzard Road rally, as the car is not likely to be back in shape for the weekend for the rally. Cooter shows the wrecked car to the Dukes and says that he will try to get it running again, but there is no way that it will race in the Hazzard Rally. Meanwhile, Coltrane plants a fake moonshine still ("because he's too dumb to find the real one") in Uncle Jesse's barn and seizes the Duke property in the interest of eminent domain for Boss Hogg. Jesse wanted to fight Rosco, but Big Hoss came in with reinforcements, thereby forcing the family to temporarily reside with the neighbor and Uncle Jesse's love-interest, Pauline (Lynda Carter). Pauline informs the Dukes that Coltrane seized another farm on similar charges, Bo and Luke investigate a local construction site and find their farm and neighboring farms marked on a map. They also discover a safe which they believe contains information that Boss Hogg wants to keep secret. Unable to get the safe open, they drag it to Sheev's (Kevin Heffernan). With his help they blow open the safe and discover geologic core samples but are unsure on what the samples are. Meanwhile, Coltrane makes arrangements to seize the General Lee as "evidence" from the local auto body shop run by the Dukes' friend Cooter (David Koechner). Having learned Rosco's plans to impound and auction off the General Lee, Cooter calls his friends to repair and soup up the General Lee. Cooter turns the car into a hot-rod and applies a new paint job and horn, in return for finally getting payment for all the work he has done ("...because that's how this works.") for the boys in the past, when Bo wins the Rally. After retrieving the General Lee before Rosco can, the Dukes go to Atlanta to visit a local university geology lab, meeting up with Katie-Lynn Johnson (Nikki Griffin), a Hazzard County girl and the Dukes' love interest, and her roommate Annette (Jacqui Maxwell). At the lab, they discover Boss Hogg's intentions of turning the county into a strip coalmine. They are later arrested after running from campus police. Back in Hazzard, Daisy learns, with the help of Sheriff Deputy Enos Strate (Michael Weston), that Billy Prickett has been hired by Boss Hogg to participate in the Rally as a ringer. Boss Hogg then heads to Atlanta where he informs the Duke boys, in lock-up, that they are too late to stop him and reveals that the vote on Hogg's proposition is at the same time as the rally, explaining Billy Prickett's involvement. During a transfer from detainment, Daisy helps the boys escape, and they speed home to try to inform the townsfolk, escaping the Atlanta Police, and the Georgia State Patrol. Upon returning home, the Dukes discover that Coltrane has taken Uncle Jesse and Pauline hostage, an obvious trap for the boys, and that Billy is in on the scheme because he's ashamed of the town's low status. The two race to the farmhouse to cause a distraction while Daisy and Cooter rescue Jesse and Pauline. Meanwhile, the college girls head to the rally with Sheev to inform the townsfolk about the vote on the strip-mining ordinance. Because of Sheev's armadillo hat and lack of pants, and the fact that Sheev is a known conspiracy theorist, no one listens to him. So, Bo leaves for the rally while Luke and Jesse team up to foil the police who are chasing Bo, interfering with the race. Upon crossing the finish line first, before Billy, the two continue racing back and forth all the way into town, leading the townsfolk to the courthouse just in time to vote against Hogg's proposed ordinance. At the courthouse, Daisy takes advantage of the governor of Georgia's presence and TV cameras to convince him into pardoning the boys, so Uncle Jesse takes the opportunity to knock out Boss Hogg and gets a pardon for assaulting a county commissioner at the same time. The film ends with a cook-out at the Dukes' house where Pauline convinces Uncle Jesse, who could not be found because he was "using the meat smoker," to get up and play the television series' main theme. Bo and Luke are romantically involved with the girls in General Lee when they are caught by Luke's other love-interest Laurie Pullman (Alice Greczyn) from the intro of the film, who proceeds to chase them with a shotgun as they drive away.

Beck (Dwayne Johnson) is a "retrieval expert", a bounty hunter who collects debts for a man named Billy Walker (William Lucking). He is dispatched to a nightclub to retrieve a championship ring from a football player, and after doing so is assaulted by one of Walker's other collectors. Angry, he confronts Walker and tells him that he wants out of the business. Walker talks him into one last bounty - retrieve Walker's son Travis (Seann William Scott) from a small mining town in Brazil and Walker will give him enough money to open his own restaurant. Beck accepts and leaves for Brazil. When Beck arrives in the town of El Dorado he meets with the man running the mining operation, Cornelius Hatcher (Christopher Walken). Hatcher gives Beck his blessing to grab Travis, but reneges when he finds out that Travis has discovered a missing golden artifact called "El Gato De Diablo". Beck confronts Hatcher and his men in the local bar and leaves with Travis. On the way back to the airfield, Travis forces their Jeep off the road and into the jungle. There he tries to escape but is re-captured by Beck. After an unfortunate encounter with some local monkeys, the two find themselves in the camp of the local resistance movement. At the resistance encampment, Travis convinces the rebels that Beck works for Hatcher and was sent to kill them all. After a prolonged fight, Beck gains the upper hand before the rebel leader Mariana (Rosario Dawson) intervenes. She wants Travis, as the Gato can be used to ensure the locals can free themselves from Hatcher. Hatcher suddenly attacks the camp, killing many rebels. Beck, Travis, and Mariana escape the camp and Beck makes Mariana a deal: she helps him get Travis to the airfield in exchange for the Gato. After some searching, Travis leads them to a cave behind a waterfall where the Gato is located. They retrieve it and begin the journey back. On the way back, Mariana chastises Travis for wanting to sell the artifact, but Travis argues that he actually did want to give it to a museum. Mariana gives the two men Konlobos, a toxic fruit that temporarily paralyzes the eater. As she tells Beck which direction the airfield is, she leaves them with the fire to keep the animals away. After waking up able to move, Beck hauls Travis to the airfield. The local pilot, Declan (Ewen Bremner), tells Beck that Mariana was captured earlier by Hatcher and will probably be killed. Travis pleads with Beck to help, and the two head into town to rescue her. Using a cow stampede for cover, the two begin their assault on Hatcher's goons. Travis becomes trapped by gunfire in a bus, and Beck saves him before the bus explodes. Hatcher tells his brother to take Mariana and the Gato and flee, but they are stopped by Travis. Hatcher confronts Beck, who offers him the chance to leave town, which Hatcher initially refuses. After he is shot by the townspeople, Hatcher agrees to leave town, but eventually dies from his gunshot wounds. Travis gives the Gato to Mariana before leaving with Beck, who tells him that despite all they've been through he must still return Travis to the United States. Travis is delivered to his dad who begins to verbally and physically abuse him. Beck asks to celebrate with them and gives Walker and his men Konlobos. As they are paralyzed, Beck removes the cuffs from Travis and the duo leave together, with Travis continuing to jokingly annoy Beck.

In a restaurant in East Great Falls, Michigan, Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs) prepares to ask Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) to marry him when Jim's dad (Eugene Levy) calls to inform him he left the ring at home. As Jim tries to stall, he talks about the next step which Michelle interprets as spicing up their sex lives. She gets the impression that he wants a public sex act and proceeds to perform oral sex on him under the table. When Mr. Levenstein (Eugene Levy) arrives, Jim tries to hide the fact that he's being given a blow job under the table. Not knowing Michelle is under the table, Jim's dad expresses his excitement at the proposal. Then, after Michelle bumps her head under the table out of shock, all chaos ensues as Jim ends up exposed and has to hike his pants up quickly. Saving face, he swallows what's left of his pride and asks Michelle to marry him which she readily agrees. Jim has a night at the local bar with Michelle, Kevin and Finch to celebrate their engagement. During that night, it is revealed that Michelle likes to dance but Jim is a terrible dancer. Jim wishes to exclude Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott) from the wedding. Stifler notices the celebration party while passing and decides to crash what he thinks is a graduation party but is actually the engagement party. He messes with the cake which ends up on his lap and Jim's as well. Jim tries to take his pants off to clean them and chaos ensues ending with Jim looking like he's having sex with dogs when Michelle's parents meet him for the first time. When Stifler realizes that Jim is getting married, he volunteers to organize the bachelor party which Kevin and Finch hadn't thought about but agrees that Stifler would be the perfect guy for such an occasion. Stifler insists on taking part, seeing an opportunity to have sex with the bridesmaids. They don't tell him however that he is not invited. Michelle is stressed but doesn't want to tell Jim about her worries, so Jim doesn't know what she really wants and he knows she'll want to dance and he's really bad at it. He shares these details to Kevin and Finch who offers their help. Looking for dancing lessons, Kevin and Finch meets Stifler and try to hint that he's not invited at the wedding. Jim goes to Stifler to try to explain why he's not invited. Stifler gets angry and screams at Jim while his football team surrounds them and scream with him. Stifler uses that moment to whisper that he knows how to dance, and he can teach Jim. They have a first lesson together and Jim asks Stifler to tone down his obnoxious personality in exchange for planning the bachelor party. Meanwhile, Finch has been following Michelle under disguise to learn more about her desires for the wedding. He finds out that Michelle's dream wedding dress is made by only one designer working for one store in Chicago. Michelle was struggling to find the dress and Jim wanted to surprise her. Jim, Stifler, Paul Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), and Kevin Meyers (Thomas Ian Nicholas) travel to Chicago. The dress maker named Leslie isn't at the store. One of her colleagues agrees to give them the address of a few bars where they could find her. Stifler unwittingly walks into a gay bar as the designer is supposed to be hanging out there, and his raucous behavior gets him into a dispute with several patrons. Stifler defeats Bear (Eric Allan Kramer) in a dance-off, who offers to provide strippers for the bachelor party. Dress designer Leslie (Reynaldo Gallegos) reveals himself and agrees to make the dress for Michelle. Michelle is very happy with the effort Jim put in for her dress. Michelle's parents Mary Flaherty (Deborah Rush) and Harold Flaherty (Fred Willard), who were initially skeptical of Jim. When they first met Jim, it looked like he and Stifler were performing sexual acts on the Flaherty's dogs. The dress episode has convinced Michelle's parents that they should give Jim a second chance and they schedule a private dinner. Jim lies to Stifler that everyone will be gone that night so he can have his private moment with Michelle's parents. Michelle's younger sister, Cadence (January Jones), flies in for the wedding after breaking up with her boyfriend because he would not take her virginity. Both Finch and Stifler are attracted to her, and in an effort to win her over, they each adopt the other's personality. Finch believes Cadence is looking for the player type Casanova, while Stifler believes she is looking for a "decent" guy and avoids swearing and speaks of philosophy. The act works as it seduces both Cadence and her mother. When Finch realizes that Cadence is beginning to tire of the intellectual Stifler however, he starts to act immature, rude, and perverted: in other words, like the real Stifler. This change of attitude momentarily gets him the attention and favor of Cadence. Stifler arranges the bachelor party for Jim at his home but does not inform Jim, who unknowingly has arranged dinner with Michelle's parents at his home at the same time. Meanwhile, Jim begins to have doubts about marriage, worried that he has only ever really been with one woman. His father's awkward reassurances fail to convince Jim. Stifler, Finch, and Kevin break into Jim's parents' house to surprise him with the bachelor party and Bear's strippers, unaware Jim is bringing Michelle's parents over for dinner. Not waiting for Jim, they get the party started and play Bondage and Submissive roles with the girls. When Jim arrives with Michelle's parents, Stifler and Finch realizes their mistake and they hide everyone. With assistance from Bear, who poses as a butler named "Mr. Belvedere", Jim nearly succeeds in keeping the activities a secret, until Michelle's mother opens a closet door and is shocked to find Kevin inside, blindfolded, stripped to his boxers, and tied to a chair. Stifler makes up an excuse to explain everything and tries to take the blame for it but Jim insists to take the blame himself which convinces Michelle's parents that Jim is willing to make a lot of efforts for their daughter and they give him their blessing. Mary is touched by Stifler's gesture towards Jim and anoints him the ring bearer and hands over her mother's ring for safekeeping. In Grand Traverse County, Michigan, wedding preparations are underway, despite mishaps. Michelle is concerned that Jim's paternal grandmother (Angela Paton) disapproves of the wedding because she is not Hebrew. Jim tries to explain to her that his grandmother is very old fashioned, but Michelle still takes it very personal. Jim shaves his testicles the night before the wedding at an attempt at personal grooming, but when he disposes the hair from the window, it gets sucked into the kitchen via the ventilator and decorates the entire wedding cake. Stifler accidentally feeds the rings to the Flaherty dogs (by mixing it with dog treats) and then has to take it out of dog poop. When he finally gets the ring back, he tries to sneak to his room to wash it but is intercepted by Michelle's parents. Mistaking the stool in Stifler's hand for a truffle, Michelle's mother, who loves chocolate, attempts to eat it, giving Stifler no other choice but to eat it himself to save face. Only Finch knows the truth and reacts accordingly. Cadence admits she likes Stifler but questions if he is pretending to be different around her. After Cadence agrees to sleep with Stifler, he inadvertently disrupts the walk-in refrigerator's power supply while retrieving a bottle of champagne in an attempt to seduce Cadence which kills the flowers. He gets in an argument with Finch and goes into full Stifler mode just as Cadence walks by and sees everything. She obviously cancels the encounter. With the flowers destroyed, Jim is livid and asks Stifler to leave, and all the other guests, including Cadence, support Jim's decision, as she had also learned of his true personality and intentions. On his way home he sees the flower shop that provided the flowers for the wedding. He finds the owner's address and wakes her up in the middle of the night. Feeling guilty for his thoughtless behavior, Stifler convinces the florist to put together a new batch of flowers. She claims the job is impossible since she had four people working for two days to do the first job. Stifler enlists the help of his football players and Bear, to put the wedding back on track. Jim and Michelle, who were very sad the night before, wakes up to the sound of Stifler leading his whole team into decorating the wedding hall. As a gesture of remorse, he also gives a rose to Cadence. Seeing the new display, Michelle and Jim forgive Stifler, and Cadence reconciles with him, seeing he does genuinely care about his friends, and agrees to have sex with him in a supply closet before the wedding. Finch admits that Stifler was probably better for her anyway. Stifler, angry that he can't hate Finch after such a noble remark, tells Finch that he hates not hating him. Finch reminds him that he slept with Stifler's mom twice. Stifler says "Thank you" as a way to reveal that all the hatred is back. Stifler's presence is delayed by a brief thank-you meet Jim calls among his groomsmen, citing how he is grateful to have friends like them. Quickly returning to the hotel, Stifler hears someone in the supply closet and steps inside, unaware that Cadence was interrupted by wedding preparations and that the ushers. Meanwhile the ushers had placed Jim's grandmother in that closet to sustain her hostility about the wedding. Stifler only realizes this upon walk-in by Finch and Kevin, and by that time Stifler had already had sex with Grandmother, thinking she was Cadence. Grandmother becomes pleasant, particularly towards Stifler, making Michelle and Jim's dad unknowingly happy. Struggling to convey her feelings through her vows, Michelle asks Jim's dad for help. He explains that love is not just a feeling, but the actions they do for each other. She happily thanks and calls him dad. Despite the chaotic events leading up to it, Michelle and Jim get married. At the reception, the couple dances privately acknowledging their shared awkwardness and perversions that make them perfect for each other. Stifler dances with Cadence. Finch sits by himself when Stifler's mom (Jennifer Coolidge) arrives. Although agreeing they are over each other, Stifler's mom mentions having a hotel suite and invites Finch to join her. The guys from high school end up spying on Stifler's mom and Finch having sex in the hot tub.

A meteor crashes deep into the desert near the town of Glen Canyon, Arizona. Wayne is a fireman trainee in the county and the meteor landed right on top of his car. Wayne was practicing fire safety drills in the cabin out in the desert. Ira Kane is a biology professor at the Glen Canyon Community College and is a generous grader. Most of his class gets an A on their research paper, but Deke and Danny get a C- and Kane declares them to be the dumbest students in his class, as they did not even know the meaning of cells. The next day, college professor Ira Kane (David Duchovny) and his friend, geology professor Harry Block (Orlando Jones) investigate the crash. Harry had received a call about a meteor crash not far from college. Nadine (Katharine Towne) is one of Harry's students who is looking for extra credit to qualify for nursing school. She wants to be Miss Arizona, and says that being accepted to nursing school will look like she wants to help people, and help her win the competition. Ira and Harry meet Wayne Grey (Seann William Scott) a fireman trainee whose car was damaged in the strike and learn that the meteor fell into a network of underground tunnels. Officer Drake (Kyle Gass) the county Sherrif says that the meteor went 80 feet into the ground. They take a sample, surprised by its oozing blue liquid. Ira discovers that it harbors extraterrestrial single-celled nitrogen-based organisms that are multiplying exponentially. Ira also finds that the alien DNA has 10 base pairs, instead of 4 base pairs like in the human DNA. Within a few hours, the single celled organisms had already evolved into multi-celled organisms. This rate of evolution required millions of years on Earth. Harry is already counting the money he will get from winning the Nobel Prize. Impressed by the cells condensing millions of years of evolution into a few minutes, the two take the science class to survey the meteor site the next day. Much to their surprise, they find cells at the site have already evolved into oxygen-converting fungi and alien flatworms. They also discover the cells reproduce through mitosis. Ira tells Harry that they have to keep their discovery away from the Government and have absolute control over their research. Meanwhile, Wayne attends his fire training test with Inspector (Richard Moll) and fails when he cannot even carry a fire hose up the ladder. Wayne has a second job as a pool manager at a local hotel. He finds the flatworms inside the water supply room and a hostile marine creature inside the pool water filtration system. The next day, Ira and Harry find that the Army has sealed off the site and set up a base. They meet General Russell Woodman (Ted Levine), Colonel Flemming (Ty Burrell) and clumsy Dr Allison Reed (Julianne Moore), who both refuse to acknowledge the duo's role in the discovery. Flemming says that they found out about the meteor as they were monitoring Ira's computer. Angry, Harry and Ira take Woodman and Reed to court for the right to be part of the research. Allison questions Ira on the stand, where he reveals he was discharged from the army in the summer of 1997 after he conducted an experiment in which he developed an anthrax vaccine and then administered it to nearly 140,000 soldiers. The side effects were severe (debilitating stomach cramps, severe diarrhea, memory loss, bleeding gums, erectile dysfunction, uncontrolled flatulence), resulting in his dismissal from his position as a top-level researcher at USAMRIID. Upon reaching their lab, they find Woodman has confiscated all their samples and files. In response, they infiltrate the base underground to get another sample, and find an alien rain-forest teeming with life. The underground caves are now well insulated from the outside world and the access to the caves is managed in a way that no organic matter can go in or out. Dr Reed discovers the intruders and apprehends them. Their conversation is cut short when an alien insect manages to get inside Harry's body, but a doctor removes it through his rectum over Harry's loud protests. In the morning, Ira and Harry return to the office to find Wayne waiting for them. He recovered the body of an unknown amphibian which killed the owner of a country club. Another strange creature appears in someone's house, but again dies. Ira and Harry theorize the aliens are leaving the caves and trying to adapt to the oxygen atmosphere. Ira, Harry and Wayne find a valley behind the home filled with suffocating dinosaur-like creatures, which they theorize cannot yet breathe oxygen and are escaping from the meteor site through the local caverns. However, a newly-born flying creature quickly adapts to the earth's oxygen, takes off, and terrorizes a shopping mall. The trio pick up shotguns at the local sporting goods store and hunt the creature. Wayne sings through the mall's sound system which draws the alien in, and they shoot it down. The Governor of Arizona (Dan Aykroyd) orders Woodman to contain the growing problem. Allison explains that in two months, the alien lifeforms would engulf the entire United States. Woodman explains his plan to evacuate everyone within five miles of the infected area and bomb the aliens with napalm. They are then attacked by alien primates climbing up from the caves below the base. They manage to fight them off and Allison gets Ira's stolen research material back to him, joining his gang at the college as the town is evacuated. There, Harry accidentally tosses a lit match into Petri dish of alien goo, causing a red mass to rapidly grow from the ooze: they realize that heat triggers the rapid evolution of the organisms. Looking at the position of nitrogen on the periodic table, Ira figures that Selenium might be poisonous to the aliens, since they are nitrogen-based, just like arsenic is poisonous to Earth's lifeforms. Allison tries to call Woodman to stop the napalm strike, but Woodman ignores her. Ira's students Deke (Ethan Suplee) and Danny (Michael Ray Bower) recall that selenium sulfide is the active ingredient in Head & Shoulders shampoo. The team empties all of Glen Canyon's stores of the shampoo and also steal a firetruck. Everyone pours the shampoo into the truck's water tanks, while Allison and Ira get to know each other. However, Woodman's napalm strike goes off ahead of schedule before the team can try their plan, triggering the entire alien ecosystem to fuse together into a single immense amoeba-like blob that stands hundreds of feet tall. The giant mass begins multiplying through mitosis, which it would do infinitely until the country was overtaken by thousands of these gigantic creatures. The team decides to continue their plan and drive the firetruck under the gigantic organism, where they find a rectal hole. Harry climbs the firetruck's ladder and inserts the fire-hose, pumping the shampoo in like a giant enema, causing the organism to explode. Governor Lewis declares Ira, Harry, Wayne and Allison are heroes and makes Wayne a firefighter. Ira and Allison skip the festivities and kiss in the fire truck. During the credits Harry, Ira and Wayne are seen in a new commercial for Head & Shoulders.

Death doesn`t take no for an answer. Death is coming. And Alex Browning is cursed with knowing when, how, and where the grim reaper will take his next victim to the Final Destination.