Tony Bill

In 2017, during the Second American Civil War, Barb Wire (Pamela Anderson) owns the Hammerhead, a nightclub in Steel Harbor, the last free city in the United States ravaged by the war. She also earns cash as a mercenary and a bounty hunter. Chief of Police Alexander Willis (Xander Berkeley) raids her nightclub. His target is fugitive Dr. Corrina Devonshire (Victoria Rowell), a former government scientist with information of a new bioweapon called Red Ribbon being developed by her former superiors in the Congressional Directorate. The Congressional Council assigned Colonel Victor Pryzer (Steve Railsback) with finding Devonshire so they can end the Second Civil War by releasing the virus on the United Front territories. Dr. Devonshire hopes to escape to Canada to make this information public. Devonshire suddenly appears at the Hammerhead. She is attended by Alex Hood (Temuera Morrison), a freedom fighter Barb had loved at the outbreak of the war. The two were separated during the conflict. Alex attempts to help Cora get to Canada. They attempt to find a contraband pair of contact lenses that would allow Cora to evade the retinal scan identification at the Steel Harbor airport. The lenses pass through the hands of several lowlifes before also ending up at Barb's nightclub. Rather than give the lenses to Axel and Cora, Barb makes a deal with Big Fatso, the leader of a junkyard gang: Fatso wants the lenses, which are worth a fortune on the black market, and Barb wants a million dollars and an armed escort to the airport, where she plans to get on the plane to Canada. But Fatso double-crosses Barb; when Barb, Alex and Cora arrive at the junkyard to make the swap, Colonel Pryzer and his storm troopers are also there, along with Chief of Police Willis. Willis makes a show of arresting Barb and Cora, but instead of putting handcuffs on Barb, he slips her a hand grenade. Barb uses the grenade to kill Fatso and cause enough confusion to allow Barb, Axel, Cora and Willis to pile into Barb's armored van and lead the Congressionals on a car chase, culminating into a hand-to-hand between Barb and Pryzer on a forklift suspended by crane above the harbor. Colonel Pryzer falls to his death while Barb escapes. The party succeeds to the airport, where Barb reveals she still has the contact lenses. She gives them to Cora, and Axel and Cora get on the plane to Canada while Willis and Barb remain on the rainswept tarmacadam.

In Minneapolis, Minnesota, Caroline (Marisa Tomei) rushes home from her job as a waitress to get ready for a date. When her boyfriend, Steven (Paul Douglas Law), arrives to pick her up, instead of taking her out, he breaks up with her. That night, the broken-hearted Caroline commiserates with her best friend, Cindy (Rosie Perez), and fellow waitress, Mary (Marquetta Senters), at Jim's Bakery and Coffee Shop. Cindy forbids Caroline from calling Steven, and Mary urges her to stop being a doormat. Caroline returns to work the following night and finds Adam (Christian Slater), an attractive but taciturn busboy, wounded in the kitchen. She cleans and bandages the cut in his hand and notices his skin is covered in sap from his day job at a Christmas tree farm. Caroline laments that her parents no longer buy real Christmas trees, opting instead for an artificial one. She points out that Adam never speaks, but doesn't hear him when he whispers "thank you" as she walks away. In the dining room, Caroline finds two men, Howard and Patsy (Kyle Secor and Willie Garson), pounding the cigarette machine and complaining that it "ate" their money. Caroline intervenes, and Howard recognizes her. When he and Patsy sit at a table in Mary's section, they request that Caroline wait on them. As she takes their order, Howard reminds Caroline that they met at a Fourth of July party, where she got drunk and embarrassed herself. After her shift ends at 4:00 a.m., Caroline walks home alone. Howard and Patsy drunkenly speed past her in Howard's car and offer her a ride. Caroline declines. They pursue her on foot. She tries to run, but they team up against her and attack. Howard bangs her head on the ground until she loses consciousness and he prepares to rape her. Suddenly, Adam the busboy appears and stops them from further harming Caroline by brutally beating Howard and Patsy to the ground, then wraps Caroline in his coat and carries her home. He lays her on the front porch swing at her house and watches over her until she wakes up. Caroline jumps when she sees Adam, and he walks away without a word. For the next few days, Caroline calls in sick to work and refuses to talk to anyone about the incident. When she finally returns to the diner, she confronts Adam, asking how he knew where she lived. He admits he has been following her home regularly to make sure she is safe. He apologizes for being late the night she was attacked. Caroline kisses his cheek and thanks him. Later, Caroline asks Cindy what she thinks about Adam. Cindy admits he is attractive but laments that he is weird and never speaks. She pesters Caroline about her lack of follow-through with various projects, including opening a flower shop and going to beauty school. When her shift is over at 2:00 a.m., Caroline waits for her younger brother, Michael, to pick her up, but he never shows. She starts to walk home alone but sees Adam in the parking lot, and they walk together. He points out constellations and explains that shooting stars are meteors falling to Earth. He shows Caroline his basement apartment, but she becomes nervous when she finds a photograph of herself that Adam took from the diner. Two days later, on Christmas morning, Caroline wakes up to discover a real Christmas tree in her bedroom. She bakes cookies and takes them to Adam's apartment to thank him for the tree. He shows her his collection of old records, given to him by a nun named Mother Camilla at the orphanage where he grew up. He claims the records are magical and tells her about his sickly childhood, and how Mother Camilla told him his late father was an adventurer who stole enchanted rubies to cure Adam's heart condition. His father was killed by a "baboon king," but when the animal learned of Adam's illness, it removed its own heart and put it in the boy's chest. Caroline is shocked that Adam still believes Mother Camilla's story, but admits it is charming. She offers to cut his hair short and brings him back to her house. Adam recalls feeling alienated as a child, when he had to be quarantined, and says he has never been good with people. As she combs his hair, Caroline talks about her tendency to chase after love. Adam reaches out and touches her breast. She stops combing and leads him to her bedroom, where they undress. Adam breaks into tears, and Caroline consoles him. She whispers that she is going to fall in love with him and promises to give him her heart. Back at work, Caroline invites Adam to her parents' New Years Eve party. When he arrives, he spends two hours with Caroline's cat on the front porch. She finds him outside and makes a wish on a star, but Adam points out that she is wishing on Mars. At midnight, they kiss. Another few days later, Caroline goes ice-skating with Cindy, who is skeptical when Caroline admits she has been dating Adam. Caroline reveals that when she was attacked and nearly raped and that Adam saved her, but Cindy still believes Caroline might be selling herself short. She persuades Caroline to go on a blind date with a man named Ronnie. However, on a double date with Cindy and her boyfriend, Caroline expresses no interest in Ronnie. They end up at the diner, where Caroline goes in search of Adam just as he is attacked by Howard and Patsy in the parking lot. Adam stumbles inside the diner with a stab wound in his abdomen. Frantic, Caroline accompanies him to the hospital, where a doctor tells her Adam has congenital heart disease and is in need of a transplant. Caroline identifies Howard and Patsy in a police line-up. Another day or two later, Caroline takes a beauty school exam but is too distracted and storms out. Adam flees the hospital and surprises Caroline at home. She mentions that he needs a heart transplant or he will die very soon, but Adam rejects the idea, insisting he must keep his heart. He worries that he will not love Caroline the same way if he gets a different one, but she assures him he loves with his mind and soul. Sometime later, Caroline takes Adam to an ice hockey game for his 25th birthday. They have a great time, and on the drive home, Adam falls asleep. When they arrive at his apartment, Caroline discovers Adam is dead. At his funeral, Caroline tells Cindy Adam was the only thing she did not give up on, and claims he was an angel. She goes to his apartment and finds a gift he planned to give to her on his birthday: his box of records, with a note telling her he no longer needs them because all of his wishes have come true. Caroline listens to one of the records and smiles.

A bitter ad executive who has reached his breaking point lands in a mental institution, where his career actually begins to thrive with help from his fellow patients. Emory works in advertising and is beginning to crack up. His latest idea is honesty, e.g. "Volvos: Yes they are boxy, but they're safe". This doesn't go down too well with the boss, so Emory is sent to a psychiatric hospital to "recover." Meanwhile, back at the office, Emory's work is accidentally sent to the printers. His ads are a huge success. But now Emory has fallen for another patient, Kathy, so he doesn't want to leave. —Rob Hartill

Joe (George Burns), Al (Art Carney), and Willie (Lee Strasberg) are three senior citizens who share a small apartment in Astoria, Queens, New York City. They are three retirees who live off monthly social security checks and spend their summer days sitting on a bench in a nearby park, reading newspapers, feeding pigeons, and fending off obnoxious children. It is a dull life, and finally Joe is driven to suggest something radical to break the monotony. After making their monthly visit to their bank to cash and/or deposit their social security checks, out of the blue Joe asks them: "why not go on a stick-up?" Bored by their daily routine, Joe argues that the crime is not as risky as they may think. In the unlikely event that they are arrested, room and board will be free in prison and their social security checks will accumulate until they are released; and if they succeed, they will have extra cash to enjoy, instead of sitting on a park bench all day. Al likes the idea, but Willie is more skeptical. As they discuss details, Al offers to investigate the gun collection of his nephew, Pete, while Joe proposes that they scout a bank to rob in New York City. Al surreptitiously borrows some pistols from the collection of his nephew, Pete (Charles Hallahan) who lives just a few miles away with his wife and three obnoxious children, and whom are having money problems themselves. Pete tells Al that he wants to open up his own furniture store, but the stress of paying for their mortgage as well as utility bills is getting to all of them. Al decides to himself that the bank robbery will help his nephew out financially. The next day, the three men take the subway into the city and, without much deliberation, decide to hold up the Union Marine Bank at 36th Street and Broadway. As they indulge in hot dogs from a street vendor and participate in a sidewalk drum performance, the men are rejuvenated by the scheme. Al is confident that he can obtain the guns that afternoon, so the ringleader, Joe, suggests robbing the bank the next day. While Joe and Willie purchase three pairs of Groucho Marx-style glasses as disguises, Al stops by Pete's house. As soon as his nephew leaves for work, Al sneaks into the basement and takes three pistols from the gun case, as well as an assortment of bullets. The next morning, after finally determining which bullets fit the pistols, the threesome take a bus to another neighborhood in Queens to conceal their point of origin. From there, they hail an unlicensed cab, which does not keep records of fares. For $30, the driver agrees to take them into Manhattan and to wait outside the bank while they "sign a will." Upon entering the bank in disguise, Al detains the security guard at gunpoint, as Joe orders the teller to hand over the money. When the bank manager does not take the elderly men seriously, Joe fires a bullet at the wall, causing everyone to take cover on the floor. After filling their satchel with cash, the friends dash back to the waiting cab, ask the driver to drop them at a subway station and return to Queens on the train. When they count the money at home, the total amounts to just over $35,000, and Al suggest they hide the loot in his old suitcase, stored at Pete's house. Later, as the three men sit on their regular park bench and overhear a report on the radio about the crime, Willie suffers a heart attack and dies. Sparing no expense, Joe makes funeral arrangements. During the memorial service, Joe and Al decide to give $25,000 of the heist money to Pete, who tirelessly works two jobs to support his family. Pete is speechless as Joe explains that he and Al inherited a $25,000 life insurance policy from Willie, but they have no need for the money. In exchange for the gift, Joe suggests that Pete give them $20 per week to supplement their fixed income. After the funeral, the two friends decide to spend some of their money on a spontaneous vacation to Las Vegas, Nevada. Without making reservations, they take a cab to Kennedy Airport, buy a ticket, and board their first plane flight. At a casino hotel that evening, they try their luck at the craps table. Al is not familiar with the game, but Joe instructs him to simply roll the dice while he places bets. To their surprise, they accumulate $73,000 in winnings by the end of the evening. However, Joe realizes that their gambling luck will make them a target for thieves, as well as more conspicuous to authorities, so he suggests they collect the cash and fly back to New York that night. Arriving at their apartment exhausted from the whirlwind excursion, they immediately fall asleep. When Joe wakes, he hears a report on the radio that the police anticipate a development in the "amateur" bank robbery case. Joe tries to wake Al with the news, but is distressed to find that his friend has passed away. A few hours later that evening, Joe arrives at Pete's house, carrying the bag of money, and takes Pete aside to divulge the bank robbery, the Vegas winnings and his uncle's death. He adds that the police appear to be closing in and asks Pete to help hide the approximately $107,000 in a safety deposit box. Tearful over his uncle's death, Pete agrees and promises not to inform the authorities. The next day, Joe shaves and dresses for Al's funeral, but as he leaves the apartment, two FBI agents handcuff him and take him away. During questioning, Joe refuses to reveal the location of the money. Sometime later, Pete visits Joe at the state prison and reminds him that if he does not give back the robbery cash, he will receive a harsher sentence. Joe says he does not mind, adding that Al and Willie would not want him to return the loot. Joe explains that it no longer matters to him if he remains in prison for the rest of his life. For several years, Joe already felt like he was in prison with living a dull life. Joe explains that he no longer has to cook and clean for himself in prison. He gets three square meals a day, and generally is getting "treated like a king around here." Joe tells Pete not to visit him again to avoid being suspected in his bank robbery plan, and to "enjoy his inheritance" of living off the bank robbery and Vegas money. In the final shot, as Joe is being escorted back to his cell by a guard, he looks mischievously at Pete and says with a wiry smile: "besides... no tin-horn joint like this could ever hold me!"

On Election Day, 1968, irresponsible hairdresser and ladies' man George Roundy is too busy cutting hair and dealing with his girlfriends and mistress Felicia Karpf, whose husband Lester is having an affair with his ex-girlfriend Jackie. Thirty-something George Roundy is a Beverly Hills hairdresser, who spends as much time sleeping with his female clients as he does doing their hair. Whether they want to admit it, all the women in his life are for the most part aware that they are are not the only one with whom he is sleeping. And some, such as the wealthy and married Felicia Karpf, have a stronger emotional dependence on George than they would like to admit. George's current girlfriend is Jill, an up and coming actress. Jill's best friend is Jackie Shawn, one of George's old girlfriends who left him because he couldn't make a true commitment to her. In turn, Jackie is currently having an affair with Lester Karpf, Felicia's wealthy businessman husband. George is unhappy working at a salon owned by Norman, with whom he is constantly butting heads. In his first act of wanting finally to be a grown up, George wants to open his own salon, but doesn't have the financial resources to do it, and no bank will lend him money for the venture. Felicia at least convinces Lester to consider investing in George. On Monday, November 4, 1968, the eve of the presidential election, this group spends the evening together, first at a dinner party hosted by Lester, and then another private party. Lester asks his potential new business partner, George, to accompany his mistress Jackie, not knowing that George and Jackie know each other. Jill, who is invited to the party by Jackie, invites director Johnny Pope as her date, he who is considering her for a role in his next movie filming in Egypt and perhaps more. Over the course of the evening, George may come to the realization of what he wants in life both professionally and personally, but achieving happiness will depend upon others in his life, they who have known George up to this time only as an uncommitted narcissist.

During the Battle of the Bulge, an anachronistic count shelters a ragtag squad of Americans in his remote 10th Century castle hoping a battle against the advancing Germans will not lead to the destruction of the castle and all within. Toward the end of World War II, a small company of American GI's occupy an ancient castle. Their commander has an affair with the countess in resident. One guy falls in love with a Volkswagon. A baker among them moves in with another baker's wife. A group of shell shocked holy rollers wander the bombed out streets. A GI art historian tries vainly to protect the castle and its masterpieces. —Jim Sadur <jsadur@keyflux.com>