Tony Randall

While on a stakeout at an amusement park in Los Angeles, California, police detective Ned Ravine (Armand Assante) is approached by a flirtatious, sultry blonde woman (Sean Young). However, he must leave her to pursue culprit Milo Crumley (Blake Clark), known as the "pantyhose bandit." After arresting Milo, Ned, who is also a defense attorney, offers to represent him in court. At his law office, Ned relies on his devoted secretary, Laura (Sherilyn Fenn), who is always efficient except when tortured by flashbacks of her abusive husband. After successfully defending Milo in court, Ned receives a surprise visit from Lola Cain, the blonde woman from the amusement park. The beautiful seductress asks Ned to meet her the following evening to look over some papers that she cannot understand. While workaholic Ned is on police duty at night, his wife, Lana Ravine (Kate Nelligan), has been having an affair with auto mechanic Frank Kelbo (Christopher McDonald). Lana asks Frank's advice about her husband's accident insurance policy, and learns that it contains a triple indemnity rider worth $9 million, if Ned is shot with a pistol, falls from a northbound train, and drowns in a freshwater stream. Undaunted by the complications, Lana plots to murder Ned that weekend while he travels to a legal symposium in Santa Barbara, California, and agrees to share the insurance payout with her lover. She instructs Frank to tamper with Ned's car, so he will be forced to take the train. At his office, Ned receives instructions to meet Lola at Le Hot Club and from there, the two proceed to her mansion. After looking over her "papers," a laundry receipt and a lottery ticket, Ned succumbs to Lola's sexual advances and engages in various erotic scenarios with her throughout the house. In the morning, Ned reminds Lola he is married and cannot continue their affair. The rejection shocks Lola, and she gives Ned a deranged look. Meanwhile, criminal Max Shady (James Remar) is released from prison and is determined to take revenge on Ned for losing his case seven years ago. Laura shows Ned the multiple death threats Shady has faxed to the office, but the attorney believes the criminal just needs to vent his anger and is not concerned. At home, Ned wants to make amends with his estranged wife and buys her a pet skunk, but she is unimpressed and remains focused on killing him. When Ned treats Laura to shopping and dinner for her birthday, she looks at her handsome boss with affection, hoping he will take an interest in her. At the restaurant, an obsessive Lola interrupts them and threatens Ned with an ice pick, giving Laura another reason to worry about her boss's safety. Unable to use his car after the engine goes missing, Ned initially considers flying to Santa Barbara. He is fearful about taking the train since several members of his family have been killed in train wrecks, but Lana persuades him and advises that he stand in the vestibule between cars to calm his nerves. Lana and Frank secretly get on the train with Ned, who is also being followed on board by Max Shady. As the train leaves the station, Ned is anxious and sweating. After he gets up from his seat and walks toward the vestibule, Lana follows. She enters the area and shoots a man in the back, who is standing by the exit door and wearing a suit similar to Ned's. She believes she has shot her husband, but the man who falls out of the train, riddled with bullets, is Max Shady. Ned appears from the adjacent bathroom and is grateful to his wife for risking her life to protect him. However, as a police officer, he must arrest her for Shady's murder, but agrees to serve as her defense attorney. At the murder trial, Ned succeeds in convincing the jury that his wife should be acquitted. As soon as she is free, Lana kills her accomplice Frank over concerns he might betray her. Lola witnesses the deed and blackmails Lana. Ned walks in the house as Lola is talking to his wife, and denies knowing the blonde woman. Later, an angry Ned goes to Lola's mansion and warns her to stay out of his life. During their altercation, Lola reveals that Lana is her identical twin sister, who stole her boyfriend Dwayne, the love of her life. When a confused Ned remarks that the two women look completely different, Lola explains that Lana destroyed her original face with a shovel and she had to endure fifty-three plastic surgery operations. Ned is amazed at the beautiful result, but Lola disagrees, calling herself "ugly." She says Dwayne abandoned her for Lana after he saw her transformation. Lola's attempt to destroy her sister's marriage to Ned was part of her revenge. She also tells Ned that Lana murdered the mechanic. When Ned informs Lola that the mechanic's name was Frank Kelbo, she is devastated, realizing that Frank was the son of Dwayne, whose last name was Kelbo. Returning home, Ned finds hot water running in the bathtub, but his wife is absent. Laura, who has been conducting her own investigation, arrives to alert Ned that his wife and Frank were plotting to murder him so they could collect on his insurance policy. She also confides about her difficult past and fleeing from her obsessive-compulsive, abusive husband. As Ned and Laura talk in the kitchen, Lana saws a break in the upstairs handrail, but Lola surprises her sister and drowns her in the bathtub. When Ned goes to investigate the faucet noise, he discovers his wife's dead body and is assaulted by Lola. Meanwhile, downstairs, Laura's sadistic husband sneaks into the house and confronts his wife. After Ned and Laura subdue their attackers, they embrace and share a passionate kiss. Suddenly, the two apparently dead sisters recover and rush at Ned and Laura with sharp objects. However, Laura proves to be a skilled sharpshooter as she simultaneously kills Lana and Lola with two pistols, but blowing out Ned's eardrums when she fired the guns close to his head. In the final scene, Laura and Ned propose marriage and spend their first night together, as the pet skunk watches from his hiding spot in the dresser.

The Gremlins are back, and this time, they've taken control of a New York City media mogul's high-tech skyscraper. Having survived the destructive Kingston Falls Incident in Gremlins (1984), Billy and Kate move to New York City, eager to wipe the slate clean and start afresh. Instead, orphaned Mogwai Gizmo catches the eye of evil scientist Doctor Catheter in money-grubbing tech mogul Daniel Clamp's colossal high-rise. And once more, a splash of water spawns hordes of mischievous Gremlins. As a result, the pesky little creatures start doing what they do best: wreaking havoc. But the rules were simple. Now the city is about to taste a hearty slice of pure pandemonium. Do they have what it takes to escape the nightmare of the new batch? —Nick Riganas Billy and Kate have moved to New York City where they work for media mogul Daniel Clamp. Meanwhile, Gizmo's former owner has just died and he's been captured for the genetics part of the Clamp building. A little while later, a certain someone gets wet, creates a new Gremlin species, and learns to finally fight back after years of abuse, and while Gizmo and the surviving humans fight back, the Gremlins and their evil leader, the Brain Gremlin, are planning to escape when it gets dark, and if they do, New York City will experience a new Hell. —Will

The credits at the start and close of the film are played over a backdrop of a large mass of white rabbits, to the tune of "Let's Misbehave" by Cole Porter. The film is divided into seven vignettes, as follows: "Do Aphrodisiacs Work?" In Elizabethan times, the king (Anthony Quayle) is infuriated by his fool (Woody Allen), whom he considers unfunny. Later, the fool follows the queen (Lynn Redgrave) into the gardens and fondles her. After she stalks away, the ghost of the fool's father appears and commands him to have sex with the queen. A sorcerer provides him with an aphrodisiac but warns him that if the king discovers the potion, he will be killed. The fool then gives the queen the potion, and as soon as she drinks it, she demands that he ravage her. Upon removing her clothes, however, the fool discovers her chastity belt, and gathers keys and tools in a desperate attempt to break it open. As the fool opens the belt, the noises from inside the room attract the attention of the guards and the king himself. Hearing him approach, the fool and the queen struggle to close the belt, but his hand becomes stuck inside, so she throws her dress over his hand to hide it. When the king wants to make love to his wife, the fool pretends to leave but hides beneath her skirt. Soon, the king uncovers the fool and has him beheaded. "What Is Sodomy?" At Dr. Ross's (Gene Wilder) busy practice, he is surprised by a visit from Armenian shepherd Milos Stavros (Titos Vandis), who announces that he is in love with a sheep named Daisy. Unsure how to respond, Ross is further horrified to hear that Milos made love to the animal but now imagines that she is cold and indifferent to him. When Milos urges the doctor to speak to her for him, Ross gently suggests psychiatric care. Milos insists on carrying Daisy inside, where, as Ross explains why Milos' feelings are completely inappropriate, the doctor strokes the sheep and begins to fall in love with her. That night at dinner Ross is listless and later, his wife Anne (Elaine Giftos) finds him petting his lambswool sweater. The next day, Milos brings Daisy to the office, and Ross nervously woos her. He takes her to a hotel room, ordering caviar and grass from room service. Soon he is buying the animal diamonds and lingerie, but when Anne catches the two together, Ross loses his family and his license. Waiting tables to support Daisy, he screams to the crowd that he is a doctor, then returns home to find a note from Milos stating that he has taken Daisy back to Armenia. A broken man, Ross drinks Woolite on street corner. 'Why Do Some Women Have Trouble Reaching an Orgasm?" (Note: this segment is filmed entirely in Italian) After his wedding, Fabrizio (Woody Allen) takes his bride Gina (Louise Lasser) to bed, but she is unmoved and passive. Over the next weeks, he grows despondent at his wife's lack of passion, and disheartened by his friends' tales of their sex lives. Despite his exhaustive efforts, she remains bored. Fabrizio visits his priest, who states he can do nothing to help. One day the couple is in a store when Gina becomes aroused and urges Fabrizio to make love to her. Realizing that she wants to make love only in public places, the two enjoy sex in church, restaurants and friends' homes. Although Fabrizio is concerned that they will one day be discovered, he is relieved that at least his wife is not frigid. "Are Transvestites Homosexuals?" Sam (Lou Jacobi) and Tess have dinner with the parents of their daughter's fiance Alvin. During the meal, Sam goes upstairs, ostensibly to use the bathroom but really to try on Alvin's mother's dresses. As the others are downstairs discussing their travels, upstairs he prances in a dress, hat, high heels and purse. Upon hearing Alvin's father climbing the stairs, Sam hangs from the window ledge to hide. Unable to hold on, he drops to the ground and walks to the sidewalk in front of the house, where his purse is snatched by a man running by. Women walking nearby gather to help him, then the police arrive. Insisting that he does not want to press charges, Sam struggles to hide his mustache. When another police car pulls up with its siren blaring, everyone in Alvin's parents' home steps outside to investigate. Sam tells the police that he is three months pregnant, prompting Alvin's father to invite him inside. At that point, Tess recognizes him, shouting "She's my husband." Later, in bed, Tess tells her husband that she does not mind that he is "diseased and perverted," and pleased that she is so understanding, he agrees to see a doctor about his condition. "What Are Sex Perverts?" The television game show "What's My Perversion?" begins with a commercial for hair conditioner that features two football players in a locker room. As the ad ends, the men begin kissing. Jack Barry emcees the show, which asks celebrity panelists Pamela Mason, Regis Philbin, Toni Holt and Robert Q. Lewis to guess a contestant's deviant sexual preference, based on the answers to questions they pose. Contestant Bernard Jaffe, who likes to expose himself on subways, answers a series of questions, but the panel cannot guess his perversion, speculating that perhaps he is a rapist or child molester. Later, one lucky winner acts out his fantasy on air: Rabbi Chaim Baumel, a silk stockings fetishist, is tied up and whipped while his wife sits at his feet eating pork. "Are the Findings of Doctors and Clinics Who Do Sexual Research and Experiments Accurate?" Victor Shakapopulis (Woody Allen in another role), a sexual phenomena researcher, stops at a gas station on his way to the home of Dr. Bernardo (John Carradine), a renowned sex expert with whom he plans to work. Helen Lacey (Heather MacRae), a young reporter planning to interview Bernardo, tells him her car has broken down, so he offers her a ride. At Bernardo's mansion, the door is opened by hunchback Igor. Bernardo enters and whips Igor, then serves dinner, at which the two younger visitors praise the doctor and his innovative findings. He notes that although he was thrown out of the Masters and Johnson Institute for Sexual Studies and labeled insane, he initiated dozens of major findings in the field. He then takes them to his laboratory, where Victor and Helen are horrified to see the experiments being performed on unwilling human subjects: one man has sex with a huge loaf of bread, while the brain of a lesbian is being transported into a man who works for the telephone company. Bernardo holds them at gunpoint and declares that Helen will be the subject of his new experiment, in which he will test her heart rate while she is "gang-banged" by twenty Boy Scouts. Igor restrains Victor and straps Helen down, but Victor escapes, grabs Bernardo's gun and shoots into the lab, ruining his equipment. As the lab begins to burn, Victor frees Helen and they flee. Bernardo and Igor are trapped in the ensuing explosion. Outside, the car will not start, and Victor and Helen witness a giant breast burst out of the house and move toward them. They race to the sheriff to report the "fiendish tit" on the loose. Meanwhile, a couple parked nearby is attacked by the breast. Victor plots to destroy it, and so lures it out into a field. Dodging the milk it squirts at him, he holds up a cross and leads it into a giant bra, trapping it. Walking with an admiring Helen, Victor decides that some things about sex are better left unknown. "What Happens During Ejaculation?" In a mission control center inside one man's brain, operators are busily controlling all his bodily functions. The main operator (Tony Randall) signals the eyes to show him the man's dinner date and agrees with the controller (Burt Reynolds) that there is some likelihood of sexual activity later. The sperm prepare to launch, hoping this is not another false alarm. The operator directs the man to attempt to make love to his date in his car. Engineers winch up the penis, but the workers fail to keep the erection upright. All of the body systems check in with each other to locate the problem, and finally a 45-degree erection is achieved. As he lines up for penetration, one sperm (played by Woody Allen) is scared to go out, but his friend reminds him that he took an oath to fertilize an ovum or die trying. Suddenly, the erection once again flags, and the operators scramble to alleviate the problem, which is revealed to be a priest in the conscience room turning up the guilt mechanism. Jettisoning the priest, the main operator calls "Full steam ahead." In the erection room, the laborers sing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" while the sperm play a melancholy tune, then launch. When the orgasm is completed, the controllers celebrate with champagne and cigarettes. In the car, the date asks to "go again," and the main operator signals the gonads that "We're going for a record."

A marine scientist volunteers to have his family live in a prototype underwater home to prove it's practical. Marine scientist Fred Miller designs the world's first underwater home, but when the business magnate funding his work threatens to end the project, Miller volunteers to live in it with his own family to prove it's practical. The underwater clan includes his water-phobic wife and his daughter and son, who are part of a rock and roll band. They bring along the lead singer and drummer. Along the way, they have to contend with a competing engineer who promises to mine the ocean floor for the businessman. A record producer likes their music and books them on TV, leading the kids to try to escape to the surface.

When a hypochondriac believes he is dying, he makes plans for his wife--which she discovers and misunderstands. At one of his many visits to his doctor, hypochondriac George Kimball mistakes a dying man's diagnosis for his own and believes that he only has about two more weeks to live. Wanting to take care of his wife Judy, he doesn't tell her and tries to find her a new husband. When he finally does tell her, she quickly finds out he's not dying at all (while he doesn't), and she believes it's just a lame excuse to hide an affair, so she decides to leave him. —Leon Wolters <wolters@strw.LeidenUniv.nl> Judy Kimball quietly humors her husband George's chronic hypochondria. On his latest visit to his GP, he is told he's one of the doctor's healthiest patients. But when George overhears Dr. Morrissey talking to George's cardiologist about another patient's terminal heart problem, George assumes they're talking about him. He doesn't plan to tell Judy the news, but decides to use his remaining time to find her a replacement husband. —Huggo

A mysterious circus comes to a western town bearing wonders and characters that entertain the inhabitants and teach valuable lessons. An old Chinese gentleman rides into the town of Abalone, Arizona and changes it forever, as the citizens see themselves reflected in the mirror of Lao's mysterious circus of mythical beasts. —Edward E. Pringle <pringle@atb.teradyne.com> is prepared to buy them all out. What he doesn't tell anyone is that the railroad will run through the town in less than a year's time. The local newspaperman and the librarian both think he's up to no good. Dr. Lao gets them to look at life differently and not to sell out to the highest bidder. —garykmcd In the early 20th century, Dr. Lao brings his circus to the town of Abalone. The town is under threat due to a break in the water supply system and wealthy businessman is prepared to buy them all out. What he doesn't tell anyone is that the railroad will run through the town in less than a year's time. The local newspaperman and the librarian both think he's up to no good. Dr. Lao gets them to look at life differently and to change. their future and behaviour for the better. —Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

A series of misunderstandings leaves an advertising executive with a campaign for a product which has not yet been invented, while he romances his rival in the guise of its inventor. Jerry Webster and Carol Templeton are both in the advertising business, but for different agencies. Annoyed by Jerry's methods of using alcohol and women to ensure contracts for his agency, Carol tries to get him thrown out of his profession. To avoid this Jerry bribes the girl who would testify against him by starring her in a TV commercial for a product named VIP that he's just made up. By accident these commercials are broadcast, and to keep his job, Jerry must come up with VIP for which he enlists the help of Doctor Linus Tyler. Carol goes to see the Doctor to try to get the VIP account, but because she and Jerry have never met, she mistakes Jerry for the Doctor. Jerry takes advantage of this situation to win her. —Leon Wolters <wolters@strw.LeidenUniv.nl> A series of misunderstandings between Carol Templeton and Jerry Webster, representatives of two different advertising agencies, leads to a campaign for a product VIP, which doesn't exist. Meanwhile, Jerry romances Carol, although she does not realize who he is. —Huggo In New York, Madison Avenue is the center of the advertising world, divided into workers and drones like a beehive. Carol Templeton is a professional that has just arrived from Omaha, Nebraska, to work in the Bracket, McGalpin and Gaines Advertising, expecting to be a winner through hard work. The unethical Jerry Webster works in the Ramsey and Son and entertains his clients with sexy women, bribes, and booze to ensure contracts for his agency. When the Southern J. Paxton Miller comes to New York to close the contract of the Cera Miller account, Carol prepares a presentation to the old man. However, Jerry wins the account by taking Miller to a nightclub with strippers, booze and a party later in his penthouse with the strippers, led by Rebel Davis. Carol is upset and goes to the advertising council to throw Jerry out of the advertising business. However, Jerry lures Rebel, who is to testify against him, offering the position of VIP girl in TV commercials for the new product VIP. Then he asks the team to not broadcast but only file the footage, since VIP doesn't actually exist. However, insecure Peter 'Pete' Ramsey, who has inherited the Ramsey and Son, orders a massive advertising campaign broadcasting the commercials to show himself off to his employees. In order to save his job and the agency, Jerry hires Doctor Linus Tyler, who is a lonely man, to develop VIP. Meanwhile, Carol decides to take the VIP account for her agency and she visits Dr. Tyler. However, she meets Jerry instead and believes that he is the famous scientist awarded with the Nobel Prize. Now Carol wants to convince Dr. Tyler to come to her agency and the cynical Jerry uses the situation to seduce Carol. —Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Jan Morrow (Doris Day) is an interior decorator in New York City. She lives alone and claims to be happy when questioned on that subject by her drunken housekeeper, Alma (Thelma Ritter). The only irritant in her life is the party line that she shares with Brad Allen (Rock Hudson), a Broadway composer and playboy who lives in a nearby apartment building. She cannot obtain a private phone line for her business, which she runs from home, because the telephone company has been overwhelmed by recent demand for new phone lines. Jan and Brad, who have only ever "met" on the telephone, develop a feud over the use of the party line. Brad constantly uses the phone to chat with one young woman after another, singing to each of them an "original" love song supposedly written just for her, though he only changes the name or language he sings in. Jan needs the line for work and tries to make him more considerate. Brad suggests that the single Jan is jealous of his popularity and has a problem in 'the bedroom department.' He charms the telephone inspector who is sent to investigate Jan's complaint. Later, Brad and Jan agree to share the phone line on alternate half hours. One of Jan's clients is millionaire Jonathan Forbes (Tony Randall), who repeatedly asks her to marry him. She refuses. Unknown to Jan, Jonathan is also Brad's old college buddy and his current Broadway financier. Jonathan makes Brad aware of his latest love interest and Brad realizes this must be his feuding partner. He is intrigued. One evening in a nightclub, Brad sees Jan dancing and learns who she is. Attracted to her, he fakes a Texas accent and invents a new persona: Rex Stetson, a wealthy Texan rancher. He succeeds in wooing Jan, in part because he has Brad make insinuations that he can then work to Rex's favor. For example, Brad suggests Rex will stop by his hotel room on their date and try to seduce her; when Rex does this but only shows Jan the view, she thinks he is a perfect gentleman. When Jan brags to Brad about this, he suggests Rex may be gay. This leads Jan to question Rex about his attraction to her, thereby allowing him to kiss her. Jonathan uses a private eye to find out who Jan is dating. After discovering the truth about Brad's masquerade, he forces Brad to put Jan in a taxi and send her home. Brad is to leave New York and go to Jonathan's cabin in Connecticut to complete his new songs. However, Brad double crosses him by inviting Jan to join him. Once there, kissing ensues until Rex leaves to fetch logs for the fire and Jan stumbles upon a copy of Rex's sheet music. She plunks the melody on the nearby piano and recognizes Brad's 'inspiration' song. She confronts Brad and asks to be taken home by Jonathan, who has just arrived at the cabin to break up his thieving friend. In New York, Jonathan is less in love with Jan because she cries so much over Brad. He is pleased to learn that the playboy has fallen in love, while conversely Jan will have nothing to do with Brad. Brad turns to Alma for advice. Alma, pleased to meet Brad after listening in on the party line for so long, suggests he hire Jan to decorate his apartment so they will be forced to collaborate while drinking Brad under the table in the meantime. Jan only concedes so that her employer will not lose the commission. Brad leaves all the design decisions up to Jan, telling her only to design a place that she would want to live in herself. Still resentful, Jan decorates Brad's apartment in the most gaudy decor she can muster. Horrified by what he finds, Brad storms into Jan's apartment and carries her in her pajamas through the street back to his gaudy apartment to explain herself. Brad mentions all the changes he has made to end his bachelor lifestyle because he thought they were getting married. Her face lights up and, as he leaves in anger, she uses one of his "playboy" remote control switches to lock the door. She flips another switch and the player piano pounds out a honky-tonk version of Brad's standard love song. He turns around, their eyes meet, and they embrace. Some time later, Brad goes to tell Jonathan that he is going to be a father, only to be pulled by Dr. Maxwell (an obstetrician) and Nurse Resnick into their office for an examination, when he says that he is going to have a baby.