Willie Nelson

A dog wags its tail as the dog is smarter than the tail. If the tail was smarter, it would wag the dog. The President (Michael Belson) is caught making advances on an underage girl inside the Oval Office, less than two weeks before the election. Conrad Brean (Robert De Niro), a top spin doctor, is brought in by presidential aide Winifred Ames (Anne Heche) to take the public's attention away from the scandal. The President himself is in China, while Washington Post has the story and is ready to roll with it the following day. Conrad starts by delaying the President's return by 1 day claiming that he got sick in China. And then he floats a rumor regarding a deal for the B3 Bomber, only there is no B3 Bomber. As Conrad works with Ames on his plans, the news of the Presidential sexual misconduct with an underage girl hits the TV news. The President's rial Senator Neal (Craig T. Nelson) goes on TV and demands that the President step down to allow for an impartial investigation. The President is still 17 points ahead of Neal in the opinion polls. Conrad decides to construct a fictional war in Albania, hoping the media will concentrate on this instead. Conrad then ties in the rumor and adds that this is why the B3 bomber is being mobilized. Conrad plants questions in the media briefing regarding the situation in Albania and the B3 bomber being mobilized. The White House Press secretary had no knowledge of either and vehemently denied any such developments, thereby providing more credence to the stories. Brean contacts Hollywood producer Stanley Motss (Dustin Hoffman) to create the war, complete with a theme song and fake film footage of a photogenic orphan. Conrad convinces Motss that war is show business. Each war in the American past is characterized by a single iconic photo or event. People remember the symbolism but forget the war itself. Conrad argues that why US is at war with Albania is almost immaterial as when the bombs start falling, the reasons are sent to the background. Grace (Suzie Plakson) is Motss' assistant. Motss comes up with the story that Albania has a nuclear bomb and is threatening the US with it. The Albanians have placed the device into a suitcase and moved it to Canada to smuggle it into the US. Johnny Dean (Willie Nelson) is brought in to sing the song while "Fad King" (Denis Leary) and Liz Butsky (Andrea Martin) come up with the lyrics. Tracy Lime (Kirsten Dunst) is hired to play the orphan, running from a terrorist attack, with a kitten in her hands. Tracy is concerned that she will not be allowed to put the gig on her resume even after it goes national. Ames gets her to sign a security clearance form that prohibits her from even talking about it. Tracy is made to run in front of a blue screen and the entire scenery is added digitally, including the village, the flames and the kitten. The hoax is initially successful, with the President quickly gaining ground in the polls appearing afterwards. When the CIA learns of the plot, they send Agent Young (William H. Macy) to confront Brean about the hoax. Brean convinces Young that revealing the deception is against his and the CIA's best interests. But when the CIA - in collusion with the President's rival candidate - reports that the war did happen but is drawing to an end, the media begins to focus back on the President's sexual abuse scandal. To counter this, Motss decides to invent a hero who was left behind enemy lines in Albania. Inspired by the idea that he was "discarded like an old shoe", Brean and Motss have the Pentagon provide the team with a soldier named Schumann (Woody Harrelson) around whom a POW narrative is constructed, complete with T-shirts, patriotic songs, and faux grassroots demonstrations of patriotism and solidarity. As part of the hoax, folk singer Johnny Dean (Willie Nelson) records a song called "Old Shoe", which is pressed onto a 78 RPM record, prematurely aged so that listeners will think it was recorded years earlier and sent to the Library of Congress to be "found". Soon, large numbers of old pairs of shoes began appearing on phone and power lines, signs that the movement is taking hold. The American public gets caught up in the events of a fictional war produced in the basement of the White House with computers and blue screens, actors and scenarios. Soon they even release a mental patient who once served in the military because he has the right last name, "Shoe", to portray a war hero of the conflict. They release him because they have a show song from a nostalgic old tune that contains his name, a war tune now to drum up sympathy and national support for the war effort. When the team goes to retrieve Schumann, they discover he is in fact a criminally insane Army convict. On the way back, their plane crashes on route to Andrews Air Force Base. The team survives and is rescued by a farmer, an illegal alien who is given expedited citizenship for a better story. However, Schumann is killed after he attempts to sexually assault a gas station owner's daughter. Seizing the opportunity, Motss stages an elaborate military funeral for Schumann, claiming that he died from wounds sustained during his rescue. While watching a political talk show, Motss gets frustrated that the media are crediting the president's upsurge in the polls to the bland campaign slogan of "Don't change horses in mid-stream" rather than Motss's hard work. Despite previously claiming he was inspired by the challenge, Motss announces that he wants credit and will reveal his involvement, despite Brean's offer of an ambassadorship and the dire warning that he is "playing with his life". After Motss refuses to back down, Brean reluctantly orders his security staff to kill him. A newscast reports that Motss has died of a heart attack at home, the president was successfully re-elected, and an Albanian terrorist organization has claimed responsibility for a recent bombing, suggesting the fake war is becoming real.

Frank (James Caan) is a highly experienced jewel thief and hardened ex-convict who has a set structure to his life. With a pair of successful Chicago businesses (a bar and a car dealership) as fronts for his lucrative criminal enterprise, Frank sets out to fulfill the missing part of his life vision: a family beginning with Jessie (Tuesday Weld), a pretty cashier he has begun dating. After taking down a major diamond score, Frank gives the diamonds to his fence, Joe Gags (Hal Frank). However, before Frank can collect his $185,000 share of the score, Gags is murdered by being pushed out of a 12th-story window for skimming off mob collection money. Barry (James Belushi), Frank's friend and associate making the pick-up, discovers that a shady plating company executive Gags was working for, Mr. Attaglia (Tom Signorelli), is responsible for Gags' murder and stealing Frank's payoff. In a tense confrontation at Attaglia's plating company, Frank demands his money back. This leads to a face-to-face meeting with Attaglia's employer, Leo (Robert Prosky), a high-level fence and Chicago Outfit boss. Unknown to Frank, Leo has been downing Frank's "merch" from Gags for some time. He admires Frank's eye for quality fenced goods and professionalism, and wants him taking down contract scores all over the country working directly for him, offering Frank large profits. "I'll make you a millionaire in four months," Leo states at their jargon-filled meeting, which is monitored from a distance by police surveillance -- as well as a hidden Barry armed with a rifle, in case the meeting goes bad. At first, Frank is reluctant to consider Leo's offer, not wanting to "deal with egos" or the added exposure. But later that night at a coffee shop, an emotional bonding with Jessie changes the game when she agrees to be part of his life after he relates a harrowing tale of prison survival by way of a toughened mental attitude. To hasten his plans, Frank now agrees to do just one big score for Leo, telling Barry that this will be their last job. With a little help from the paternal Leo after being rejected at the state adoption agency, Frank is even able to acquire a baby on the black market, a son he names David after his recently deceased mentor and closest friend from prison, nicknamed Okla (Willie Nelson). Things start heating up on account of Frank's new association with Leo. After resisting a shakedown from a group of corrupt police detectives, then subsequently ditching their surveillance, Frank and his crew are soon involved in a large-scale West Coast diamond heist organized by Leo. All goes well with Frank's "burn job" and he is expecting the agreed-upon sum of $830,000 on $4 million wholesale of unmounted stones. But when Frank returns from the job, Leo tosses him an envelope containing less than $100,000, the "cash part" according to Leo, who says he has invested the rest of Frank's cut in shopping centers, an idea Frank had flatly rejected. In addition, Leo sets up a Palm Beach score for Frank in six weeks without consulting him. An irate Frank bluntly tells Leo that their deal is over, takes the envelope of cash as he leaves and demands the rest of his money in 24 hours or "...you will wear your ass for a hat." Frank drives to his car lot unaware that Leo's henchmen have already beaten and captured Barry, and are waiting in ambush for him. In the set-up, Frank is knocked out with the butt of a carbine and Barry is killed by several shotgun blasts from Carl (Dennis Farina), one of Leo's main enforcers. Frank awakens with Leo staring down at him, surrounded by his henchmen. Leo coldly informs him that he, Jessie, their child, and everything he owns are Leo's property. He threatens to prostitute Jessie and "...whack out your whole family" if Frank does not continue working for him. Leo warns Frank to "tighten up" and focus on his responsibilities; meanwhile, his henchmen dispose of Barry's body. Frank goes home to contemplate his next move, gradually sinking into a hardened apathy akin to his prison days. He coldly orders an uncomprehending Jessie out of their house, telling her their marriage is over. He instructs an associate to drive her, the baby and $410,000 in cash somewhere where they cannot be found, informing Jessie more money will be coming at regular intervals, but that he will not be joining her. With nothing to lose, Frank blows up their home in a fiery nighttime blast using high explosive charges. He then drives to his business establishments and does the same, destroying his bar in a violent explosion then setting fire to his car lot. Armed with a pistol, he quietly breaks into Leo's house in a peaceful neighborhood and pistol whips Attaglia in the kitchen. Frank hunts for Leo, who is hiding, armed with a .357 Magnum revolver. Leo is inevitably located and gunned down. Frank then pursues Attaglia as he tries to escape from the house, but is promptly confronted in the front yard by Carl and another henchman. In the ensuing gunfight, Frank is shot, but manages to kill the trio. Frank loosens what appears to be a ballistic vest he was wearing beneath his jacket, and walks away into the night.